Heart of the Team
by rand0m1
Summary: What if the Reaper gets tired of waiting for Hotch to fall apart?
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters, I'm just playing with them for a while.

AN: Ok, I have only seen the first couple of episodes of season 5 so this pretty much picks up at some point after that. This will eventually contain some femslash. If this isn't your thing, don't read. Anyway…Enough of my ramblings…Enjoy and let me know what you think. Reviews make me write faster. :o)

Chapter 1 

_A successful team beats with one heart. – Unknown_

"I've missed this you know." She turned to glance at her friend.

"Yeah yeah. You were the one who decided to go and be all successful at work. Plus get herself into a proper relationship!" The red-head saw her friend's expression change. "Ok, spill it."

"Spill what?"

"Innocent won't work with me. I've known you too long. So what did I say that hit too close to home?"

Her friend sighed. "Remember how I said after Sam I was done with the whole proper relationship thing?" She saw her friend nod out of the corner of her eye. "I was wrong."

"Ha. So he is 'the one'?" The red-head even did the air quotation marks preparing herself to give her friend some serious stick for going back on what she had claimed. For years she had been avoiding any relationship that might turn serious. It was almost like she had a 2 month rule…As soon as she got to 2 months, she'd break it off. The red-head knew why. She remembered how crushed her friend had been when she found out Sam had been cheating on her; how broken she was after it had ended. Ever since, she had always kept a distance from everyone, making sure nobody got close enough to hurt her like that again.

"No."

She stared out of her front windscreen while she drove. "O…k…You have been with this guy for well over a year now but he's not the one?" She watched her friend shake her head. "But you have met someone who you think could be?" This time she nodded. The red-head sighed deeply and shook her head. "Well, one thing is for sure…You know how to make things complicated. How did you get yourself into this mess?"

"Same way as always…I run away from anything that could be serious."

"What am I ever gonna do with you?" The conversation in the car faltered at the sight of red and blue lights flashing in their rear view mirror. "Damnit…I so wasn't speeding."

"Yeah right Jules." She pulled the car off to the side of the road and rolled her window down and waited for the police officer to come and talk to her. "You never were good with speed limits."

"What's taking him so long?" The red-head glanced into the rear-view mirror and could still see the police officer sitting in the car. Seeing his door open she turned back. "Finally!" As he came into sight at the side of her door she turned to face him but instead found herself staring down the barrel of a gun. "What the…" Her words were cut off as the sound of a gunshot rang out.

Her friend screamed and reached for the door handle but was frozen in place by the sound of his voice. "Stop." He waited until she had stopped moving before issuing his next instruction. "Get out of the car slowly, keeping your hands where I can see them." She cast a glance over at her friend and knew that there was nothing she could do. Her head had dropped to rest on her chest, the blood dripping down the dashboard. She followed his instructions, as she got out of the car she could feel the rain start to soak through her clothes. She could see the blood being washed along her skin by the rain.

It was in those moments that she waited for the end to come that one thought refused to leave her mind. The thought that she had run away from the one person she wanted to be with. Run away and now she would never have the chance to apologise and make amends. The next moment, everything went black.

* * *

The rain poured down, turning the road into a river…Yet it could not wash away the horror that awaited the BAU team that October night. The team pulled up next to the police cars, Rossi and Morgan were already at the scene. Emily and Hotch walked over to where the two of them were standing. "What have we got?"

"911 operator got a call telling them that he had killed someone. A unit was dispatched to the scene and found evidence of at least 1 murder."

"The victim?" Emily asked.

"Unknown." Seeing the confusion on his team mates faces he started to walk to the car. "You'd better take a look."

As they approached the car, they took in the scene around them. The road was in a quiet area of the city. There wouldn't be much passing traffic at this time of night. The car itself looked like it was in good working order. Both the passenger and drivers doors were closed. The police had covered the area with a tarpaulin to prevent the rain from washing away any evidence there might be.

"The window is rolled down on the driver's door." Morgan observed. As they came up alongside the car and looked inside, more of the incidents of the night were revealed.

"Is that human?" Emily asked pointing at the heart sitting on the driver's seat.

"They think so but will need to test it to confirm." Rossi answered.

"There are no signs of a struggle. Could be we have an unsub who is using a rouse to get the victims to pull over and then takes them by surprise." Reid commented.

"He'd have to look non-threatening to get them to pull over at night, especially in this weather. Who is the car registered to?" Hotch asked.

"Julie Bradshaw, she's a teacher at the local high school."

"I think it is safe to say that we are looking for a body to go with that heart. He must have known that this road was quiet enough to be confident enough to take the time needed to cut the heart out of her body without being seen."

"Ok, but why take the body? Why not leave it here rather than risk moving a body when you have notified the police?"

"Maybe the heart isn't human. Maybe he has just kidnapped her and left this to throw us off." Rossi suggested.

"It will be." Hotch replied, his attention focused on the back seat of the car. The rest of the team followed his gaze and what they saw made their blood run cold. The eye of providence. "Foyet." Was all he said.

"It could be a copycat." Reid suggested. "Foyet stopped calling the police after he had set it up for us to find him."

"Call Garcia and get her to get us a copy of that 911 call and any surveillance cameras in the area. We then need to make sure that we keep certain details out of the press. Call JJ and get her to schedule a press conference as soon as possible."

Morgan called Garcia as Emily called JJ. It was then that they heard the sound of the phone ringing from inside the car. Both Morgan and Emily looked at each other. Hearing the ringing not only on the end of their phones but also from the car. Rossi moved around to the passenger side and knelt down to find the source of the ringing, offering a silent prayer that it was a mere coincidence. He reached under the seat and his hand made contact with the phone. As he lifted the phone out and looked at the display he felt his stomach drop. He closed his eyes for a moment preparing himself for what he had to do. He then stood up to face the rest of the team.

"Rossi whose is it?" Morgan asked, his phone still held forgotten in his hand. The fear that something had happened to Garcia again gripping him.

Emily felt her heart stop at seeing Rossi's expression. She knew that one of the two most important people in her life was at best in mortal danger and at worst already dead. "Who?" Was all she could ask, her voice sounding so quiet that it was a wonder anyone could have heard it against the rain.

Rossi looked at his team and tried to find the words. He knew the effect the news would have on them. He knew that the moment he spoke her name then there was a very high chance that at least one of his team would be devastated. Despite the moratorium on intra-team profiling it didn't take a profiler to have picked up on the attraction between the two. It just surprised him that neither had acted on it yet. As much as he knew he had to give them the name, the words just wouldn't come.

That was when the voice came down the phone still being held loosely, forgotten in the wait to discover which member of their team, their family had been involved. Rossi couldn't feel the relief at not having to tell them who owned the phone as the end result was the same. He watched as the realisation set in to the people in front of him. He watched as the phone fell to the ground from fingers that could no longer hold it. Watched as the agent turned and ran to the bushes before sinking to their knees and emptying the contents of their stomach. He then looked back to where the phone had landed in the puddle, saw the water bouncing off the screen as the light crackled and then faded to black.


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: I don't own any of them.

AN: Big thank you to those who have reviewed...Glad you liked it. Ok, I hadn't planned to post this one so soon but someone convinced me to get it written. I'm so easily bribed :op. This one is for tancredi75. Enjoy. :o)

Chapter 2

"Hello? Are you there?" The voice came out of the phone still lying forgotten in the agent's hand.

"I'm here."

"What's happened?" There was no need to see the expression on the face, even on the end of the phone the tone in the voice was enough to let her know that something was seriously wrong with someone in her family. When there was still silence on the end of her phone she repeated her question. "What's happened?" Her voice had started to waiver slightly as the fear of what words she may hear. Images of her team mates being killed by an unsub filled her mind. After so many close calls, her worst nightmare that someone's luck would run out seemed to be coming true. "Who is it?" Her voice broke on her last question.

* * *

Pain. That was the first thing she became aware of. The pounding in her head making every movement agony. She knew she should open her eyes but the pain in her head made her want to keep them closed. She tried to remember what it was that led her to be feeling so terrible. Thinking was difficult. Every beat of her heart sent a new wave of pain and nausea through her body. She tried to lift her arm to hold her head but couldn't raise it more than a few centimetres. For a moment confusion reigned. Then it came flooding back to her.

The car. Talking with Jules. Being pulled over by the police. The gun. Jules' head dropping. Blood. The feel of it splashing against her skin. Getting out of the car and then nothing. She felt tears well up in her eyes as the reality of her friend being dead sank in once more. She could feel herself losing control of her emotions as the seriousness of her situation dawned.

She opened her eyes, hoping to see something that would provide an insight into where she was and why she had been taken. When she opened her eyes, she felt a new wave of panic wash over her as it was pitch black. There wasn't a single source of light to be seen. She could feel her breathing coming faster now. She once again tried to move from where she was sitting but was held firm. That was when she heard the footsteps coming closer.

* * *

Hotch stood in shock. His normally emotionless exterior showing the signs of worry for his team. They had faced a lot as a team and been able to get through it but this was different. This was perhaps the one thing that threatened to destroy the team and even some of the members of it forever. He looked at them each in turn…Rossi seemed to be faring the best of the team. The strain of the situation showing but not to the point where Hotch was overly concerned for him.

Reid was standing a little way off from the scene, staring blankly. He knew that the young man had faced his own demons that could have had serious implications for the team and feared that this may prove to be too much for him, pushing him back down his own destructive path.

Morgan didn't seem to notice the rain that had soaked through his shirt as he stared at the phone in his hand. He looked lost, a look which the older agent had never seen him hold. He worried that the young man would take matters into his own hands. The reaper had already tried to drag Morgan into his game once before and Morgan knew he was lucky to have survived. He still carried the bullet with him as a reminder of that fact. Hotch wasn't sure that if faced with Foyet, that the younger agent would be able to maintain his professionalism. Images of Elle flashed into his mind as the fear that another of his team may follow the same path made itself known.

Then he came to Emily. Hotch had noticed from the first case they had worked together that the woman didn't let her emotions show. JJ had been the first to comment on it and her only answer had been that she compartmentalised well. Looking at her now, it was clear to him that in this instance, the compartments just weren't able to contain her feelings about her friend. It appeared that all of her defences that kept her from being too affected by what they saw had crumbled right before his eyes. He knew that the three women on the team had a special bond together. He knew that they all helped each other through the tough cases, helping each other in their own ways but together forming a bond that had been impossible to break. Now that bond had been broken and he feared that it would be too much for the remaining two women to cope with.

He watched as the phone was finally raised. He could only imagine the fear in the voice on the end of the phone. It didn't take a profiler to know that something was seriously wrong from the change in behaviour. When it came down to it, they all knew each other better than even their own families knew them. When something was wrong with one member of that family, they knew…Profiler or not.

* * *

She closed her eyes and turned away from the light as the door opened. The sudden change rendering her temporarily blind. She blinked several times before squinting towards the open door. She could make out the silhouette of a person standing just inside the frame. She watched as the figure walked closer. It was impossible to discern any features about him, only that he was male. The angle of the light kept his face in shadow. She could feel her heart pounding inside her chest. She knew that this unsub had no aversion to killing people, she had witnessed it first hand. The only thing she didn't know was why she had been kept alive. Her mind filled with images of so many case files, so many women that had been taken by unsubs. The wide variety of acts carried out on them flooding her consciousness, making her realise that she could experience any of them while held captive.

Trying to gain some control over her emotions, she pictured the one person who had always been there for her in the past. The one person she had relied upon in her darkest times. She knew that same person would be the one who wouldn't give up until they found her. That knowledge brought her a small amount of calm. It gave her the opportunity to focus on her situation for a moment with a more analytical approach. She took the chance to take in what she could about the room she was in. It was quite small and had no windows. There appeared to only be the one door in the room at the top of a single flight of stairs that seemed to lead out into a hallway of some form. Part of her mind told her she must be in a basement.

She then tried to feel around to discover what was keeping her from moving her arms. Cold. Hard. Metal. Handcuffs. She had been handcuffed. She felt around a bit further and came into contact with a chain. Her heart began to sink. Whoever this guy was, he wasn't taking any chances that she might escape.

The footsteps came to a stop next to her. There was a click and then more light filled the room. She had to squint in the sudden bright light to look up towards the face of her captor. She tried to take in as much as she could about him. He didn't appear to be that powerfully built. Her mind filled in that it was for that reason he had used a gun and something to subdue her. He didn't want to get into a physical encounter with her. She had to tilt her head slightly to see his face. When she saw, she felt her mouth go instantly dry and the colour drain from her face. The Reaper.

"Nice of you to join me."

* * *

"Just tell me." Her voice gave away that she was on the verge of tears. After so many years working with the team, she knew all of their mannerisms on the phone. The fact that she hadn't even had a greeting told her everything she needed to know.

"I…There's been an incident." There was a pause as the agent searched for a way to say the words that would shatter the woman on the phone. Knowing that she was there alone and away from all of the team when she found out made it harder. "Foyet."

She gasped. The one name that had given them all nightmares. The one that had got away but not without leaving a mark on them all. Two of the team had already been at his mercy. Morgan carried the emotional scars of that day when his life was in the hands of a serial killer. Hotch had both emotional and physical scars. Both times, Foyet had the opportunity to kill one of them and yet he had chosen to let them live to torture them further. Ice gripped her very being as she realised that this time, it seemed like one of her family hadn't been so lucky.

"Just tell me who." Her voice begging. The tears had already started to fall. No longer able to maintain her control. She just needed to hear the name, to know who.

There was a deep breath drawn in on the end of the phone before he spoke, "JJ. He's taken her."

As soon as she heard the name of her best friend, Garcia dropped her phone and started to back away from it. "No…no…no." Her hands flew up to her face. She stared at the phone in disbelief, the tears streaming down her face.

"Garcia? Penelope?" Morgan looked ran his hand across his head, feeling utterly powerless to help his friend. He just wanted to be there to hold her and make sure she knew that she wasn't alone.

"Is she…" Garcia's voice faded, unable to say the final word.

"We don't know. There's no body. There's only blood on the drivers side and it's not her car." He took a deep breath before he asked the question he had called her for. "Garcia, I need you to get a copy of the 911 tape. He called it in." He could hear her crying. "Penelope, we need to know what he said. It might let us know if she is still alive." He listened as the crying seemed to ease, turning to sniffing.

"I'll have it for when you get here." Her voice held a new determination. If there was any possibility that her friend was still alive then she would do everything she could to find her.


	3. Chapter 3

Disclaimer: I don't own them, except in my dreams.

AN: Big thanks to those who reviewed my last chapter. They were all much appreciated. Enjoy :o)

Chapter 3

Her mind was sent into a spiral at seeing the face of the man who had caused such pain to her family. Foyet was one of the two serial killers that haunted her dreams more than all the others put together, the other being Frank. They were the two that had woken her in a cold sweat on several occasions, the two that got away. Now she found herself staring into the face of a man who had committed such terrible acts. Images of the case files flashed through her mind. She knew that he had always taken more time with his female victims. The younger they were the longer he took and the more vicious the attack.

He looked at the woman in front of him. Watching as she tried to hide behind her mask, tried to hide the fear she felt. He cocked his head to one side. "How is Agent Hotchner these days?"

JJ clenched her jaw. She knew that he didn't just get satisfaction from killing. He derived pleasure from having control and power over people. He enjoyed watching them as their lives fell apart. She knew that he was trying to find a way to further control the team. She met his gaze defiantly and refused to answer.

"He could have stopped this you know? He had the chance to end it all and save the lives of everyone on that bus and everyone I have killed since. He told me that he doesn't make deals." He moved his hand towards JJ and saw her flinch back from his touch. A cold smile spread across his face as he reached into her pocket to take her credentials out. "Tell me, do you think they will make a deal now?"

* * *

The team stepped off the elevator and made their way to the conference room. As they entered the room, Garcia was already in there setting up her laptop. She looked up at them as they entered, her eyes no longer holding their usual sparkle.

"Lets hear it." Hotch said as he took a seat.

Garcia pressed a button on her laptop and the voice of the 911 operator filled the room.

"911 emergency."

"I have just killed another one."

"Sir, did you say you had just killed someone?"

"Perhaps now you have lost your heart, you will make a deal."

"That's where the talking ends. He left the phone connected which allowed them to trace the location." Garcia swallowed before continuing. "I ran it through my filters and you can hear this." She pushed a couple more keys and a new sound played. It had amplified the sounds from the background.

"Rustling. Sounds like plastic." Morgan commented as they listened to the sounds. "There, that's the trunk of a car closing."

"Only the trunk and one door close." Reid added after listening a second time. "We know that he took both victims with him."

"Don't." Reid turned to face Emily after hearing her speak for the first time since the scene. "Don't call her a victim." Her voice was so much quieter than usual. No longer holding the confidence she normally projected. She closed her eyes for a moment before she added quietly. "If JJ is still alive, she was in the same trunk as her friend."

Garcia's eyes filled with tears as she heard Emily's revelation. The full implications sinking in. Not only had she witnessed her friends death but she had then been confined within a car trunk with her body. "What do you mean if? You didn't find any blood on her side of the car." Her eyes were pleading with the team as she looked frantically from face to face.

"We don't know who the heart belongs to and his message…" Rossi trailed off as he saw the blonde had understood his meaning. Until they had an ID on the heart, they couldn't rule out the possibility that it was JJ's.

"We need to go back over the case files from Boston. We need to see if there is anything we missed. Any hints of where he might be or what alias he is using. He has been in this area for a while now." Hotch didn't need to explain why he knew Foyet had been there for a while. They all knew he had. It was quite possible that he had followed them back after his escape. Hotch divided the team up into groups their sole purpose to find anything that could lead them to JJ. "Rossi, Morgan I want you two to go through the Boston cases again. Reid, geographical profile. He has to know the area and have somewhere he feels safe. Prentiss, I need you to check with the forensics team to see if they turned anything up. I'll notify Will." The team headed out to pursue their own tasks.

Garcia was left to pack up her laptop. She turned to leave and was surprised to see Emily still sitting in the same chair, staring blankly at the picture in front of her. She didn't recognise when it had been taken but JJ was smiling so happily in the photo. Garcia went over to sit next to the brunette. "Em sweetie?" Her voice showing the concern she had for the behaviour of the other woman.

"What if she doesn't come back?" Emily's eyes remained focused on the picture in her hand.

"We won't stop looking for her until we bring her home."

"What if we're too late?" Her voice cracked slightly at the end of the question, betraying her fear at that possible outcome.

"Every time you go out on a case, I'm left sitting at my desk here. I know that every single day you all come face to face with the worst humanity has to offer. Every time you have to confront an unsub I sit in my office and wait for that phone call to let me know you are all ok. Every time the fear that the phone call won't bring good news is there. That I might lose one of the members of my only family but I have to have faith in you all. I have to believe that you will come home to me and that all of the good that you all do, all of the evil that you fight earns you some kind of higher protection. I could have lost Derek and Hotch to this bastard but for whatever reason, they are both here with us. I have to believe that JJ will come home too."

The two women sat quietly for a moment. It was Emily who broke the silence. "When was this taken?"

Garcia smiled gently as she looked at the picture in Emily's hand. "It was at Morgan's 4th July BBQ. I don't know what you two were talking about but you both had the biggest smiles on your faces."

Emily smiled at the memory, a single tear slipping down her cheek. "I remember. She was trying to convince me to get a dog."

"_Come on Em, you'd love it really. Just admit it." JJ nudged the brunette gently with her hip. _

"_No way Jay. Have you seen my condo?" _

"_Yeah, plenty of space for a dog there. It's way too big for just you." The blonde winked at the older woman. _

"_I didn't plan on living there on my own forever you know." The brunette snuck a glance at the blonde but realised that JJ had missed her hidden meaning. _

"_Well, until you find Mr Right, a puppy would be a great plan. You might even meet a nice guy when walking the little fella." _

_Emily rolled her eyes at the blonde. "Ok, first of all do you know how many women get abducted or killed while walking their dog? Secondly, who's to say I'm looking for anyone right now?" _

"_I'll ask Reid for some statistics on that one Em." The blonde looked over at her. "When you meet the right person, he'll be one lucky guy." _

_Emily blushed at the compliment from the blonde. She had wanted to tell the other woman that she really wasn't interested in any man but she'd left it so long that it just never seemed like the right time. "I have lots of expensive furniture and electrical things…He'd so chew them to pieces." _

"_Well, you'll just need to pick a guy that doesn't have a tendency to chew your furniture. I don't think there are that many with a wood fetish anyway." _

_Emily couldn't help but join JJ in her laughter. _

Emily stood from her seat and slowly walked over to the board. She gently pinned JJ's picture up, her finger lightly tracing the outline of her face as she let her arm drop. "I'll find you Jay." She whispered her promise, hoping that somehow the blonde knew she wouldn't give up.

* * *

Foyet had left the room after taking her credentials. JJ wasn't sure whether she should be relieved or not. So far everything following the initial murder had deviated from Foyet's normal behaviour and the profile. She knew that the team would be trying to figure out his next move but this was different to anything he had ever done before. He had never kidnapped someone. She knew that changing his behaviour would make it harder for the team to catch him. She knew that they worked on studying patterns in an unsub's behaviour. Such a dramatic change would make it like hunting a whole new unsub with her as the first victim. She could feel her heart sink at that thought. She knew that it would not be an easy task to find her. Feeling despair setting in she tried to think about something more positive. Focusing on the face of the one person who had always been there in her time of need. She closed her eyes as she recalled every feature and felt her hope return.


	4. Chapter 4

Disclaimer: I don't own any of them.

AN: Big thanks to those who reviewed. They really do help me to write faster. However, my updates might be a bit slower as I'm back at work on Monday so my apologies for any delays. Enjoy :o)

Chapter 4

Time seemed to have lost all meaning in the dark. There were no windows, no sounds, nothing to use as a marker of how much time had passed. JJ could feel her watch on her wrist but with her current predicament there was no chance of seeing the face. Sitting there in the dark, there was nothing she could do but think.

* * *

The door to the bullpen opened and revealed Will. His hair was dishevelled and his eyes darted around the desks in front of him. In his arms was Henry who was sitting very quietly. The team had reassembled in the conference room after gathering the files and information they needed, finding it easier to work together rather than being isolated from one another. Catching sight of where the team were, Will started to head towards the conference room. Emily couldn't help but watch him as Hotch came out of his office and walked over to where the man now stood a few steps from their door. Part of her wanted to feel sorry for him, to pity him since it was his fiancée that was missing. Yet the only one Emily felt pity for was Henry. She looked at the baby looking around with his big blue eyes so reminiscent of JJ's and wondered if he knew that his mom should be here. She wondered if he was really looking around the room expecting his mom to come around the corner any moment.

She watched as Hotch tried to lead Will to his office but the detective refused to follow him. From their position she could hear the conversation, the normal bustle of the bullpen seemed to have died away to leave almost silence except for the two men's voices.

"Just tell me what has happened." His accent had got thicker than normal.

"Will…We were called to a scene by the local police. When we got there we found a car belonging to Julie Bradshaw. There was evidence of a homicide." Hotch paused checking the reaction of the man in front of him. "We found JJ's cell under the passenger seat."

"So what are you saying? Is she alive?"

"We are working on the belief that she is until we find evidence that suggests otherwise."

"How long will that take? Who did this? Do you even have a lead?" Will's voice was getting louder as he ran off his questions.

Emily watched as Henry started to cry in his arms. She watched as Will didn't seem to register that his son was upset and just continued asking questions of Hotch without giving him the opportunity to answer. Henry started to squirm and attempt to push away from the man holding him. She couldn't stand by and watch Henry cry any longer. Every scream tore through her heart making it shatter into smaller pieces than she thought possible. She stepped out of the conference room and walked over to the two men. She saw Will look at her as she approached. "Do you want me to take him while you talk?"

Will stared at Emily for a moment before handing Henry to her without even glancing at him. Emily readily accepted the crying infant and carried him out of the bullpen. She held him close to her and rubbed calming circles on his back as she carried him along the corridor to the one place that could bring them both comfort. She opened the door to JJ's office and sat down on the couch , still holding Henry close.

"Shhhh…It's ok little man. It'll all be ok." Emily just held him and quietly spoke to him until she heard him calm, his tears eventually stopping being replaced by the odd sniff. "There you go." She moved him slightly and was rewarded by him grabbing a handful of her shirt, his face crumpling as the tears threatened to fall once more. "I'm not letting you go. It's ok Henry." She watched as his big blue eyes so like his mom's stared deep into hers. It was the exact look JJ would give her when trying to work out what was going on behind those hidden compartments in her mind. His face then relaxed slightly but he kept his grip on her shirt. Emily ran one of her hands through his hair, smoothing it down from its current scruffy state. "We're going to find your mom Henry. Those people out there are her family, your family. We never give up on family." She leant forward to place a gentle kiss on his forehead. "I'll never give up." Henry took a deep breath and then cuddled up to Emily, resting his head against her shoulder. It wasn't long before he had fallen asleep, yet the grip he had on her shirt never loosened.

* * *

JJ jumped as the sound of the door woke her from the uneasy sleep she had drifted into. The light still blinded her momentarily as there was no way to shield her eyes from the sudden change in illumination. She blinked rapidly trying to adjust to the bright light. When she could see she realised that there was a camera in front of her. Considering part of her job was dealing with the press and facing cameras, she had never before felt such apprehension at staring into a camera lens. She could feel her pulse quicken as she stared at the reflective glass, unsure what was about to happen.

The light on the camera came on and JJ felt a chill run through her veins. As Foyet stepped into the light she could see he had donned his mask.

"I expect by now you have discovered the heart doesn't belong to your precious Agent Jareau. I'm going to give you a chance to save her. I offered Agent Hotchner a deal before but he turned me down. Perhaps now he would like to reconsider or maybe the rest of you want him to reconsider."

"Don't…" JJ's comment was cut short as Foyet's fist made contact with her jaw, sending her head snapping back.

"As I was saying before being rudely interrupted…Take the deal." He stepped behind JJ, to somewhere she couldn't see but it didn't take long for her to feel his presence close behind her. She felt the hairs on the back of her neck stand on end. Then she caught sight of the light glinting off something. She turned her head and saw a knife in his hand. She felt the panic rising inside her, the fear that she would never get to see Henry again. The fear that she would never get to follow her heart. She felt tears prickling at the back of her eyes but refused to let them fall. She refused to let him see the fear. He trailed the knife up JJ's arm, pressing just hard enough for her to feel the blade but not to cut. "Otherwise…" The knife had reached the blonde's shoulder now. She tried to mentally prepare herself for what she knew was coming. Tried to build some walls and block out everything but the one image in her mind. He pressed down on the blade, watching as it slowly penetrated her skin. JJ bit down hard on her lip to stop from crying out. She refused to give him the satisfaction. Her eyes were screwed tightly shut as she tried to focus on anything but the feeling of the knife in her shoulder. "The only way you'll get your agent back is in pieces…" He pulled the knife out of her shoulder slowly and stepped away. "After I've finished enjoying her."

The light on the camera went off and JJ heard the footsteps ascending the wooden stairs followed by the unmistakeable sound of the door closing and locking. It was such a final sound, one that seemed to echo around the empty basement long after he had gone. JJ concentrated on her breathing and keeping her shoulder as still as possible. She wanted to be able to see the damage he had done, to do something to stop the blood she could feel trickling down her body but she could do nothing. She was alone in the dark. She just hoped that she wouldn't lose too much blood.

* * *

Emily felt her phone vibrate in her pocket. She glanced down at a sleeping Henry and carefully moved to retrieve her phone without waking him. When she opened the message she saw it was a web link. A frown creased her brow as she looked at the unknown number that had sent it. She stood from the couch, making sure Henry was secure and headed out to Garcia's office.

Knocking quietly on the door she poked her head around to see the technical analyst typing into her computer. "Garcia, I just got this message…"

"Web link from an unknown sender?"

"Yeah."

"So did I."

Her phone rang at that moment. She pushed a button with her pen, "Speak."

"Hey baby girl, we all just…"

"Got a text message." She finished for him. Her voice sounding slightly distant as she realised the whole team had received the same message. The most likely scenario flashing in her mind. "I'll be right in."

She turned and saw Emily for the first time and laid eyes on the sleeping baby in her arms. As she looked into brown eyes she knew that Emily had reached the same conclusion as she had about the possible content of that link. Her eyes held a haunted look that Garcia had never seen in the older woman's eyes. "I need somewhere for Henry. He shouldn't be there when we open that link."

"JJ keeps a travel cot in her office in case of emergency. We can put it in Hotch's office." Emily nodded at her friend and they made their way out of the room. Neither woman spoke as they collected the travel cot and set it up. Garcia left Emily to settle Henry as she headed into the conference room to open the web link. Emily gently lowered Henry into the cot and had to carefully unclench his fist from her shirt. She ran her hand over his head once more, "I'll be right back." With that she turned and made her way towards the conference room.

She could hear his voice before she set foot in the door, the sound making her stomach turn. She walked into the room and the first image that caught her sight on the screen was Foyet's fist impacting with JJ's jaw. Emily watched as the blonde's head snapped back, her hair covering her face for a moment. Shielding whatever expression she had from the camera. Emily froze just inside the door, her fist clenching unconsciously at her side.

Emily watched as the blonde turned her head back to the camera, the look in her eyes driving fresh daggers into Emily's heart. Then she noticed JJ's lips moving silently. She focused her attention on what the blonde was mouthing but couldn't quite catch it before her attention was drawn by the same thing that had obviously broken JJ's concentration.

Emily saw the blade running up JJ's arm. She felt her blood run cold as she knew what was coming. She just had to stand and watch as the knife went in. She couldn't say or do anything to help the blonde. She was powerless. She heard his last words. Watched those last few seconds of pain on the blonde's face before it went dark.


	5. Chapter 5

Disclaimer: I don't own them

AN: Many thanks for all the reviews, they are greatly appreciated. They encourage me to write faster. Enjoy :o)

Chapter 5

"Play it again." Emily's voice held a quiet determination yet it didn't quite mask the slight shake in it.

"Em sweetie I don't think…" Garcia was cut off by her friend's voice.

"She was trying to tell us something." She looked at the faces around her and saw a combination of worry and doubt written on them. "Play it again Pen."

Garcia pushed the button, unable to make herself watch a second time. Unable to see the pain on her friend's face.

"There." Garcia looked round as Emily spoke and sure enough JJ's lips were moving. "I can't make it all out." Emily was staring at the screen, a frown creasing her brow. "Basement? Was that basement?" Emily didn't take her eyes off the screen but heard the affirmation from a couple of members of the team. "Play it again. I can't work out the second part."

"Don't." Reid's voice was quieter than usual. Emily turned to look at him and saw a sadness that she had never noticed before held in his eyes. "I know what she's saying." He met Emily's worried look and she knew it wasn't something she wanted to hear. Holding her gaze he repeated what JJ was saying. "No deal. Forgive me."

Emily stood there as the words repeated over and over in her mind.

"Forgive me? Why do we need to forgive her?" Garcia's voice revealed the edge of panic she was feeling at the possible scenarios requiring them to forgive JJ flashed through her mind.

There was a moment of silence as nobody on the team wanted to say the words aloud.

"If we don't make a deal, he'll kill her. She knows that and wants us to forgive her for not wanting us to make a deal with him. She wants us to forgive her for not coming back to us." Emily almost whispered. She watched as tears fell from Garcia's eyes as her words registered. As her eyes met the blonde's she saw the pain so clear in their depths and she hated herself in that moment for being the one to put it there.

* * *

It felt like hours had passed since Foyet had last been in to visit her. She could still feel the throbbing in her shoulder, though it had dulled to more of an ache than the shooting pain of earlier. She kept thinking of what she could do to get out of there. She kept trying to think of anything she could give to the team to help them find her. Yet there was nothing. She'd given them the only thing she knew and at the same time, she knew it wasn't going to be enough.

* * *

"Why can't we make a deal with him?" Garcia asked the team.

"Even if we made the deal, there is no guarantee he'd let her go. His motive behind every action is power and control. Even if we made that deal, there would come a time that the power and control he felt he had over us wouldn't be enough to satisfy him. Then he'd kill again. We don't even know if he stopped killing after making that deal for definite." Hotch looked at Garcia as he spoke. He had wrestled with the same questions after Foyet had offered him a deal in Boston. He'd questioned whether the decision he had made was the right one.

"And what? You just leave her to be tortured and killed?" The team all turned to look at the source of the new voice. "She's my fiancée. You're not going to leave her with him." His voice was getting louder.

"Will, we have to consider…" Hotch was cut off by Will shouting.

"No, you don't get to make that decision."

"JJ doesn't want a deal." Emily's voice was distant, her mind focused on the fact that their decision would seal the fate of the blonde.

"I don't care! She doesn't always make the right decisions. I had to tell her that before." His comments snapped Emily out of her thoughts.

"You told her? What decision did you tell her was wrong? What gives you the right to tell her that her decision is wrong?" Emily could feel her anger rising as she listened to what he said.

"What gives me the right? She belongs to me. That gives me the right to make this decision."

Emily stepped towards him, feeling her control start to slip. "She doesn't belong to you." Emily felt someone grab her arm. "You have no right to go against her decision. Don't you think we all want to make a deal? Don't you think we all want her back? But we can't." Emily felt all her anger subside as her own words registered. "We can't." She whispered as she sat back into one of the chairs, no longer having the energy to stand and fight.

Will turned to face Hotch. "Make a deal." With that he turned and left the room.

* * *

Will stood outside the building, the anger at the team for not making a deal straight away making him pace.

"Are you ok?"

Will turned to face the speaker, ready to snap at any member of the BAU team if they dared to come out to try to calm him down or tell him how it was what JJ wanted. He was met by a stranger's face.

"I will be if they make the deal."

The man nodded. "Important decision then?"

"One that decides in my fiancée lives or dies."

"Here. This might help. If you want to talk, my number is in there." The man handed him an envelope and smiled. "I hope they make the right decision." With that he walked away without so much as a glance back.

Will looked down at the envelope he'd been given. He considered throwing it in the trash. He really wasn't in the mood for some religious sermon telling him how to deal with loss and sacrifices. He stopped as he looked at the envelope and saw it had his name written on it. He looked back to where the man had been but he was nowhere in sight. Will opened the envelope and lifted the letter out before seeing the rest of the contents.

* * *

"Now will you make the deal?" Will threw the envelope onto the desk. Morgan picked it up and emptied the contents onto the desk. Their faces paled as they saw the items scattered in front of them.

Rossi lifted the wallet and opened it to reveal JJ's credentials. The eye of providence had been drawn in blood over her ID. There was a business card tucked in behind the badge with a phone number on it. The item that made them all pale was the final one in the envelope. Sealed in a plastic bag was a finger with a citrine ring on it.

"Where did you get this?" Rossi turned and asked the detective.

"Some guy handed it to me outside."

"A strange guy walks up to you and hands you an envelope when your fiancée is missing and you what? Just think it's a coincidence? You didn't think that maybe, just maybe it might be connected and you shouldn't let the guy just walk away?" Morgan knew he was shouting at the detective but he didn't care. He couldn't understand how anyone could be that stupid.

Hotch pushed an open file over to where Will stood. "Was this the man?"

Will looked down at the picture and saw the same man he had just been speaking to. He read he name on the file just to be sure of what he suspected. George Foyet. He just nodded.

"No wonder he picked you to contact."

"That's enough Morgan." Hotch interrupted before the agent started to really lay into the detective.

"Call him and make the deal." Will turned and left the room once more.

* * *

JJ heard the footsteps before the door unlocked. She watched as Foyet came down the stairs. She could make out a smug grin on his face as he approached her. He crouched down in front of her to bring their eyes level.

"How are you feeling Agent Jareau?"

She just glared at him, refusing to dignify his question with a response.

"Still not talking I see. Well, let me then. I expect to have a phone call any minute now from your beloved team. I assume it won't take your boyfriend too long to work out what he was given." He watched as the shock registered in JJ's blue eyes. "Oh did I forget to mention I had a little chat with him?"

JJ could feel herself starting to panic. She knew that Will had Henry with him today. If Foyet was telling the truth and he had been with Will, had Henry been there? Was Henry ok?

"Oh don't worry. He's just my little messenger boy. You know he didn't even know who I was? I thought he used to be a detective. Guess I know why you were the one to keep the job." He paused as he heard the phone ring. He took the phone from his pocket and answered the call. "You took your time. Are you ready to make a deal now?"

"We need to know Agent Jareau is still alive."

"She's alive…for now. I take it you got my present."

"Let us talk to her."

He held the phone to JJ's ear. "Talk."

"JJ?" The blonde heard Hotch's voice and she felt the prickle of tears in the back of her eyes knowing that this might be the last time she had the chance to hear the voices of her team and to talk to them. She fought them back, refusing to let any tears fall with him watching.

"I'm here."

"How badly are you injured?" It was Morgan this time.

"Just one knife wound to my shoulder. I think the bleeding is slowing." JJ saw a smile creep across Foyet's face.

"Hang in there JJ." The blonde could hear the slight waiver in Reid's voice. She could only imagine what memories this was stirring up in him.

"We're going to find you kid." She wanted to challenge Rossi on that but she didn't want to give Foyet the satisfaction of knowing she didn't believe she would get out of this alive.

There was one voice that was missing from the team that she desperately wanted to hear. One person she had so much to say to and yet she knew she would never get the chance. If this was her last chance to speak to her family then she needed to hear that voice one more time. She couldn't bring herself to ask though. The words got stuck in her throat when she tried. She knew that her time was running out but no words would come.

"Jayj…I'll never give up." Hearing those five words was too much. Her carefully constructed walls began to crack and she felt a tear slip silently from her eye. Before she had a chance to reply, Foyet took the phone.

"Now, about that deal…"

"I told you before. We don't make deals."

"You'll regret that." He cancelled the call. As he looked at the blonde in front of him, a cruel smile spread across his face. "I guess I contacted the wrong person earlier."

JJ tried to pull against her chains realising he had noticed her reaction. She stopped as she felt a new wave of pain shooting through her shoulder where she had ripped the wound further by tugging against it. She heard Foyet's cold laughter as he turned and left her in the dark once more. Leaving her with the thoughts of what he might do with his new found information.


	6. Chapter 6

Disclaimer: I don't own any of them.

AN: Big thanks to those who reviewed, they are much appreciated as always. Massive thanks to tancredi for being my sounding board for this chapter...You're a star! Enjoy :o)

Chapter 6

Hotch dialled the phone as soon as he heard the dial tone. "Did you get it?"

"I got an address but sir I don't think you will find him there."

"Why?"

"There was a lag between your dialling and the phone actually ringing. I'd need to run another scan to confirm it but I think he was re-directing the call to another number to avoid a trace."

"Run your scan and let me know the result."

"Yes sir, Garcia out."

Hotch looked over to the rest of the team. "Morgan, get a print from that finger and get Garcia to run it." Morgan lifted the finger and took it from the room for processing. Whether Foyet had intended for them to find out it didn't belong to JJ or not he didn't know but he hoped it had been an error on his part that might reveal a clue that could lead them one step closer to finding the blonde.

* * *

Will took the letter out of his pocket once more. He knew that the BAU team would want to know what the letter contained, that they would want to take the letter and analyse it for possible clues. Right then he wasn't interested in giving them anything more. He'd seen how they refused to deal even when faced with evidence that a known serial killer was inflicting harm on one of their friends. He read the letter once more before making his decision.

* * *

JJ hadn't been able to hold back the tears any longer. Her whole body shook with the force of the sobs as images of what might happen to her friends, her family flashed though her mind. Hearing their voices should have given her hope but seeing the look in Foyet's eyes turned that into despair. The phone call had been designed to give him the chance to profile the team and her. It had given him an opportunity to plan his next move. A move which JJ knew could easily result in one of her family getting killed.

* * *

Emily had stepped out to check on Henry while they waited for the results of the fingerprint and Garcia's scan. It was the waiting that made it all worse. If there was one thing the brunette didn't like doing, it was having to sit and wait for a break in a case. It made her feel useless. A feeling that was amplified more than usual due to the fact it was JJ that needed her help.

As Emily entered the office she saw Henry's big blue eyes looking up at her. She felt a stab of pain as she looked into those hopeful eyes. In her mind, he was hoping the footsteps he heard were bringing him good news about his mom or that she would walk into the room and pick him up. It was the same look that JJ got when they returned to a station after chasing a lead. A look that just pleaded with you for some good news.

"Hey little man." Emily tried to make her voice seem brighter, tried not to let the strain of what was happening show through. She guessed she had failed in her efforts when his eyebrows drew together and his eyes started to glisten with the formation of tears. Emily bent down and picked him up without a second thought. "Don't cry. I just spoke to your mom. She's ok." She was gently bouncing him on her hip as she spoke quietly to him. Her last words were whispered quietly and even she didn't know if they were meant for him or for herself. "She's going to be ok."

She moved him away from her slightly to see if she had averted the threat of tears. His eyes seemed to hold a sadness that Emily had never seen before. Every time she saw Henry he was so happy and his eyes just sparkled. Seeing him now made her wonder just how much he understood about what was happening. She saw him sigh and look away from her face, his attention drawn by her necklace. He reached his hand out to grab it. Emily watched him play with the chain for a moment. "Do you know what this is?" She reached her hand up to the locket that hung from the chain. "This is my lifeline. I wear it every day just in case anything happens to me. If I ever find myself needing a reminder of why I should keep fighting, no matter how bad the situation is. This is why I never give up." Emily opened the locket. "This is what keeps me going." Emily looked down at the open locket and felt a lump form in her throat, blocking any further words. She watched as Henry reached his hand out and gently held the locket, staring at it intently for a moment before cuddling himself in close to Emily.

* * *

Will stood by the phone booth and checked his watch again. The letter had said to be here at exactly 11am. One more minute. He looked around the quiet street. There was a guy cutting his lawn on the opposite side of the street and a couple of women talking across their garden fence further down. It was such a peaceful scene of suburban life he felt out of place. The knowledge of what he was waiting for making him feel like an intruder into their normal lives. He checked his watch again. 11am. Before he had looked away from his watch, the phone started to ring.

"Hello?"

"Good morning detective. I see you are more reasonable than the FBI."

"Tell me what you want." Will listened to the sound of breathing on the phone. He could feel himself getting frustrated with the waiting.

"A trade." Those two words sent a chill down Will's spine.

"What trade?" His voice betrayed the concern he felt about what was being asked of him. He could hear the smile in Foyet's voice as he explained the details of the trade he expected. "If I do this, you'll let JJ go without harming her?"

"I keep my word. Do we have a deal?"

Will thought about it for a moment before answering, "Yes."

"One more thing…If you break your side of the deal, I'll return her to you one piece at a time."

The next sound Will heard was the dial tone.

* * *

Garcia heard her computer beep and turned her attention back to the screen. She read the information as she dialled the conference room. "I've got a match. The finger belongs to Stacey Johnson. A missing person's report was filed a month ago. I'm sending the information to your screen now."

"Thank you Garcia."

"A month?" Rossi was frowning as he contemplated the time scale. "The finger looked freshly removed."

"He kept her for a month." Morgan stated, knowing that everything they had profiled about Foyet was based on his behaviour patterns in Boston. The new information meaning that not only did they have to rethink their profile but they couldn't be sure that he would keep his word on any deal that was made. This new revelation could mean he didn't stop killing for all those years in Boston, rather he spent his time learning new skills and refining his techniques.

* * *

JJ had finally run out of tears and found herself sitting and staring into the darkness. She had forced the images of what may be yet to come from her mind. She tried to concentrate on the one image that had always brought her peace in the past. The one image that had been her solace on several occasions. She needed that now, needed to find a refuge from the terrifying images flashing through her mind. Images that left her reeling with their intensity. All the images from the case files were amalgamating into a terrible slide show where every victim, every face was one of her team.

She focused on the brown eyes that always held such compassion for every victim they encountered. Slowly the rest of the features faded into the picture. Once the image was complete, she focused on the smile that was impossible to resist. The one that when you saw it, you just couldn't help but smile too. She felt her resolve returning as she maintained her focus on the image in her head. She felt her breathing steady as she replayed those few simple words in her mind, allowing them to wrap around her like a blanket. She whispered into the room, "Neither will I."

JJ was brought back to the present by the sound of the door opening once more. She felt the cold tendrils of dread spreading through her body at what was about to come. She focused on her image, trying to lock it in place to help her endure what was about to happen.

"Tell me Agent Jareau, what do you fear most?" He asked as he came to stand in front of her. "Do you fear pain?" He pressed down on her shoulder, watching for a reaction. He watched as she bit down on her lip to stop the scream of pain. "No?" He moved his hand away from her shoulder. Placing his hand on the top button of her shirt. "Do you fear being violated?" He tilted his head slightly watching as she set her jaw, staring back at him defiantly. "No?" He let his hand drop away from her. He reached behind himself and when his hand reappeared in her line of sight it held a knife once more. He slowly dragged the blade along her throat, pressing hard enough to be felt but not to cut. "Do you fear death?" Her eyes never waivered from his. He smiled. "No? I'm sure you'll be pleading with me to put you out of your misery soon. Death is easier than facing your fears." He reached into his back pocket and dropped a photo onto her lap. "Tell me…Do you fear what I might do now?"

JJ let her eyes drop to look at the picture he had put on her lap. The face staring back at her from that piece of paper broke her resolve. Her carefully constructed image shattered in her mind.

* * *

Will drove back to Quantico, Foyet's words still echoing in his mind. He knew that what he was about to do would put others at risk but he had given the FBI the chance to make their own deal. He couldn't sit back and not at least take the chance offered to him. He had to accept the deal he had been offered. He knew it was selfish but his whole focus was on getting JJ back.

He walked into the building and headed straight to JJ's office. He opened the desk drawer and took out the file hidden at the bottom. As he looked at the envelopes, he remembered the conversation that had led to him learning of their existence.

"_Can't you just stay in the office?" Will knew the answer to the question before JJ had to answer. It was the same question he'd been asking since he had discovered she was pregnant. _

_JJ shook her head, pinching the bridge of her nose to try to fend off the headache she could feel forming. "No. Part of my job is talking to the families and the press. You can't do that from an office. You're asking me to give up my job." _

"_I'm asking you to think of our baby. What would I tell him or her if something happened to you? What could I possibly say to offer comfort if you died?" _

_JJ sighed. "Will, we both work in jobs that could lead to that situation. I'm not asking you to give up your career and you shouldn't ask me to do that. There was a case a while back that got us thinking. Our unsub was a young guy that had lost his fiancée and all he had left was her voice mail greeting. Em and I were talking after that case when we decided to make sure our families wouldn't be left with that. In the bottom drawer of my office desk is an envelope I hope I never have to open. There's one for each member of the team. Inside the envelope is what each member of the team wants to leave behind for the most important people in their lives. It means that if anything happens then there is something more than a voice mail greeting left. That's what you would give to our baby if anything happened to me." _

He sorted through the envelopes until he found the one with JJ written on the front. He stared at the name, considering if he should back out on the deal. Considering if he could spend his life knowing he turned down the deal and that all he might have of JJ is the contents of the envelope.

Foyet's words echoed in his mind once more. Information, that's all he wanted. Information about the team and who was important to them. He held that information in his hands.

Will opened the envelope and poured the contents onto JJ's desk. He sorted through the items. Four letters…Henry, her parents, Garcia and himself. The final item caught his attention, a DVD with Emily's name on it. A frown creased his brow as he turned the disc over looking for a clue as to why Emily had something more than a letter. He opened the envelope with his name on it and started reading. His hand clenched into a fist as he got to the end of the letter. Part of him told him that JJ hadn't meant to hurt him with the words she had written. It was meant to offer him a way to move on. Yet all he felt was anger. He stood from the chair and walked out of the office, the envelopes for the rest of the team firmly in his hand.


	7. Chapter 7

Disclaimer: I don't own them

AN: First of all a big thank you to those who have reviewed, they are greatly appreciated. My apologies for the delay in posting this chapter...last week was a bit hectic. Secondly a big thank you to T for getting me to sit down and write this chapter...This one is for you. ;o) Enjoy :o)

Chapter 7

Emily woke with a start as she felt someone touch her shoulder. "JJ?" Her eyes focused on the figure standing in front of her, a sympathetic smile on her face.

"It's just me Em." Garcia looked at her friend and could tell that the brunette was having to fight to keep herself together as the time JJ was missing grew longer.

Emily glanced down at her chest and saw Henry fast asleep, his hand still wrapped tightly around her locket. She gently stroked her hand through his hair as a small smile graced her lips. "Any news?" She watched as her friend shook her head regretfully. "What time is it?" She looked back up to meet her friends gaze.

"Just gone 4."

"Where's Will? Henry will need feeding when he wakes up."

Garcia frowned at the mention of Will's name. "I don't know. Last time anyone saw him was this morning."

Emily's eyebrows drew together into a frown as she ran through the possible reasons for Will leaving his son for so long. "Has anyone tried calling him?"

"No."

Emily felt Henry stir. She looked down to be greeted by his blue eyes half open. She watched as he yawned before focusing on the face looking down at him. "I don't suppose JJ has emergency baby food in her office too does she?"

"Who knows…She has a stash of most other things in there." Garcia smiled at the memory of making a comment about chocolate one day and having JJ produce a bar from one of her drawers.

"Do you want to go for a walk Henry?" Emily asked as she stood herself up, feeling her spine crack back into place after her uncomfortable pose she had fallen asleep in. "Maybe if you're lucky we can find something really good hidden in mom's office." Garcia walked with Emily out of the bullpen and over to JJ's office.

Emily walked over to the bag in the corner where JJ kept a bag of Henry's baby things for if he was ever in the crèche at the FBI building. Garcia made her way over to JJ's desk to check the drawers. As soon as she walked over she noticed something was wrong. While JJ's desk was normally covered with organised piles of folders around the edge, the middle of the desk was always clear. As she looked at it now, she saw a very different sight. Lying in the middle of the desk were some envelopes and a DVD case, to one side was a half screwed up piece of paper. "What the…" She started as she moved closer to examine the items.

"What is it?" Emily looked over from her corner at hearing the tech analysts comment. Seeing Garcia looking through some papers on JJ's desk she made her way over to stand beside her.

"Letters and this." Garcia passed the brunette the DVD case. She then reached out to pick up the screwed up paper. She scanned the words written on the page. As she kept reached the end, she realised what it was. "Oh no…no…no." She picked the letters up off the desk and flicked through the names before moving to the other side of the desk and opening the drawers, searching through the contents. "Shit." She looked up to meet the brunette's worried eyes, her fear clearly written in her own eyes. "He took them."

"Who took what?" Emily could feel herself begin to panic about what had her normally composed friend so frantic. She tried to keep her voice as calm as she could to avoid upsetting Henry.

"Will. The letters. He took them." Seeing Emily still looking confused she passed her the opened letter.

Emily looked at the letter in her hand and instantly recognised JJ's handwriting.

"The letters you all wrote in case anything happened to you." Garcia stated. She watched as Emily moved to sit on the couch, the DVD and letter still in her hand.

Emily put the DVD to one side before uncreasing the letter so she could read it.

_Dear Will,_

_I always hoped you'd never have to read this but I guess things didn't work out the way I planned. I want to say thank you for everything that you have done for me over the past couple of years. You gave me the greatest gift in the world in Henry and for that I can never thank you enough. I want you to know that you were the perfect gentleman in the whole time we were together. I know that the fact that we had started to drift apart in recent times was hurting you. I know you would have done anything to solve that but sometimes, there just isn't anything to do. Sometimes there is no way to fix it. I know this sounds like such a line but it was never you, it was me. _

_Do you remember Miami? I think that was when things started to change. I realised something when we were there. I saw myself in not only the unsub but also some of his victims. People who spent their whole lives hiding from who they really were, only allowing themselves a weekend once a year when they would be themselves. That scared me more than anything. I was afraid that I would end up like them, living two lives. One life with you doing everything that was expected…Getting married and having a family. The other side, the real me, only being shown on rare occasions when away from home. I didn't want to sneak away to be myself, to spend most of my life hiding who I was. I know it was me that asked you back then but I was so confused. I'd finally thought I could accept who I was and pursue what my heart longed for but Emily told me to go after you. _

_Ever since then I have been fighting to keep this life I chose in one piece. Recently it has got too hard. The arguments are my fault. I was never angry at you, I was angry at myself for choosing the coward's way. I guess what I did was use you and for that I can never apologise enough. I'm telling you all of this because I don't want you to blame yourself for the way things were between us. You did all you could but there was nothing that you could do to make things right as it would mean changing me. I never meant to hurt you Will. I'm sorry that my choices have hurt you. _

_Herman Hesse once said, '__Some of us think holding on makes us strong; but sometimes it is letting go.' I should have let you go a long time ago Will but I had never found the strength. It is because of that weakness that I hurt you and I am sure my words now have hurt you more. Please know I never meant that to be the case. _

_Take care of Henry for me and make sure he knows I always loved him. I hope that you will find someone who can give you what I never could. _

_Love,_

_JJ_

Emily looked over to where Garcia had taken a seat beside her. "Why would he take them?" Her voice was quiet as she processed what she had just read. She couldn't believe that JJ had been hiding her true feelings about Will and her relationship for all this time. One line kept repeating in her mind, _I'd finally thought I could accept who I was and pursue what my heart longed for but Emily told me to go after you. _Emily felt a stab of pain in her heart as the knowledge that it had been her words that had been the deciding factor in JJ's choice sank in.

"I don't know." Garcia looked at her friend, worried that the brunette would start to blame herself for the situation.

Emily picked up the DVD and looked at it, trying to decide if she should watch it or not. She wanted to know why when everyone else received only letters, she got this. Yet another part of her didn't want to see it. To watch it and hear what JJ wanted to be her last words to the brunette would be like she had accepted the blonde would never come back to her.

Garcia watched as Emily stood and walked over to JJ's desk. She expected her to put the DVD into the computer but instead she watched Emily pick up the other letters from the desk and place them carefully back into the drawer along with the DVD.

As Emily looked up having closed the drawer, she saw the confused look on the blonde's face. "It's JJ's last words to me. They are never meant to be heard before their time. I'll only listen to them when I know it is the right time. Now is not that time."

Garcia nodded, "We need to tell the others."

Emily made her way over to the door, stopping briefly to pick up the bag. Catching her friends questioning look she answered the unspoken question. "Baby food. She's always organised."

* * *

Will paced back and forwards, repeatedly checking his watch. He couldn't believe what he had read. He hadn't been able to stop the words replaying in his mind since he read them. It was like they had been burned into his memory. It was only as the phone rang that he snapped out of his thoughts.

"Hello?"

"Good afternoon detective. Did you get what I asked for?"

"Yes."

"Do you see the bench about 100 yards from where you are standing?"

"I see it."

"Put the information on the bench and walk away."

"What about JJ? Where do I find her?"

"Patience is a virtue detective. First I need to be sure that you have provided me with what I requested. Once you have left the information, go back to the FBI. You'll receive a call there once I have checked your gift."

"You will release her?"

"As I said, they took the one thing that meant the most to me. It is only fair that I return the favour."

Will heard the dial tone in his ear. He placed the phone back onto the hook before looking at the items in his hand. He knew that his decision to walk away without leaving the information would result in JJ being killed. If he left the information then the rest of the members of JJ's team would risk losing what they held most dear. Will walked over to the bench and looked around the park. There was nobody else in sight. He hesitated for a moment, the magnitude of his decision weighing heavily on his conscience. Then he placed the package onto the bench and walked away. He just hoped that after he got JJ back, the rest of the team would have enough time to protect whatever it was that they valued the most.

* * *

Foyet watched as Will stood by the bench. For a moment he thought the detective was going to walk away without leaving the information. He couldn't help but smile as he saw the detective drop the package and walk away. He waited until the detective had returned to his car and driven away before moving from his hiding place. He walked across the park to the bench and lifted the package, turning it over in his hands. The smile he now held was due to one simple fact…Knowledge was power and right now, he held the knowledge he needed to destroy the one group of people who might be able to stop him. He turned to head back to his own car, the thought of informing his captive of the latest development filling him with an unexpected rush of pleasure.


	8. Chapter 8

Disclaimer: I don't own them

AN: Thank you for all the reviews, they are greatly appreciated. Enjoy :o)

Chapter 8

JJ heard the door open once more and waited for the appearance of the man she had come to hate. She couldn't suppress the tiny glimmer of hope that always sparked in her hearing the door, thinking that maybe this time it wasn't him. The greater part of her felt dread at what this next visit would bring. She felt her hope extinguish as Foyet's face came into sight. As she watched him approach she mentally prepared herself for what would follow.

"Good evening Agent Jareau. How are you feeling?" The smile on his face was enough to make JJ's stomach turn. She refused to answer his question but stored the information about it being evening away. With no windows or clocks, she had no way to tell how long she had been down there. She now had her answer, she'd been there for coming up to 24 hours. "Still not talking?"

He moved to stand behind her, leaning in close he whispered into her ear. He was so close that JJ could feel his breath against the side of her face. It took all her will power not to turn away from the feeling. "Now I'm going to unlock you…I think you have been sitting in that chair long enough. When I do this, don't try to fight me or escape…You will lose."

JJ watched as he knelt down to her side and locked her left ankle. He then moved to the other side and released her right ankle. The blonde fought the urge to stretch her legs too far but began to move them slightly to try to prepare herself in case an opportunity to escape presented itself. He was careful though, never crossing in front of her once her leg had been released and making sure to keep to the side, ensuring she could never get an accurate angle for a kick. She felt his hands on her wrists, she felt the restraint drop away from her right arm. She felt the tension begin to release from her right shoulder after having been held in the same position for so long. She felt him release her other wrist and felt a surge of adrenaline as she realised she was free. There were no more chains holding her there. She knew he was somewhere behind her and made a decision in that second.

She allowed her eyes to trail up the stairs to check her escape route. The door was still open. A new surge of hope flared up in the blonde…Then she made her move. She pushed herself out of the chair, hoping that her legs wouldn't cramp after being immobile for so long. Keeping her eyes on the door she willed herself to run faster than she ever had before. She didn't dare to look behind her, knowing that if she missed one step…hesitated for a single second then her chance would be gone. She got to the stairs, taking them two at a time. She knew how many there were…15 steps to the door, 15 steps to her freedom. Two steps…four steps…six steps…She felt hope soaring as every step she took landed perfectly and propelled her further from her nightmare.

Eight steps…Ten steps…She reached her hand out, ready to push the door open enough for her to get through. She could see it was dark now, the only light filtering through the partially open door was artificial. Twelve steps…She lifted her leg to take the next step but it never made contact with the ground. She felt his hand on her ankle, felt her hope turn to panic. She tried to kick him off but his grip never waivered. Then she felt him pull on her leg, making her lose her footing and come crashing down onto the stairs. Her shoulder hit first, sending a new wave of pain shooting through her body. She wasn't fast enough to get her other arm underneath her to break the fall and she felt her head crack against the step, her vision blurred at the contact. She was aware of him pulling her back down the stairs. She tried to reach out to grab the railing but failed to make contact.

Once she hit the ground she felt his grip on her leg loosen. Before she could respond, he had grabbed her by the hair and dragged her back. He dropped her to the ground towards the back of the room, the area she hadn't been able to see previously. She was vaguely aware of a rattling sound, before her mind could process what the sound was he had snapped a pair of handcuffs onto her wrist. He took hold of her right arm pulling it in front of her and cuffing it to he other wrist. Her vision had started to return to normal. She looked around to try to locate Foyet, she saw him standing by the back wall. Before she could take in anymore about her surroundings she felt her arms being pulled above her head. She had to scramble to her feet to stop her wound in her shoulder being torn more than it already was.

"I told you not to try anything." He stood in front of her, his face reflecting the anger at her attempted escape.

JJ looked into his face, meeting his gaze. She could feel fresh blood running from the wound on her shoulder and was aware of the warmth of a trickle of blood from her eyebrow. "Fuck you."

His eyes flared with anger as he backhanded her in the face. She could taste the tell tale iron signalling her split lip. "Is that an offer?" He allowed his eyes to wander across her body before returning to her face. "Unfortunately…I have a call to make."

* * *

Will entered the conference room and felt every face in the room turn to him. He looked around the people before him, before he could speak Hotch's voice drew his attention.

"What have you done?" His voice was cold, emotionless and as Will turned to meet his gaze, he saw the expression was the same.

"You could have made the deal."

The next instant he found himself pressed against the wall by his shirt, Morgan's fist drawn back. "So you did what?" His eyes were burning with the anger he felt at the detective.

Before he could answer the sound of their phones all beeped once more. Morgan was reluctant to release the man before getting answers from him but he knew what the message would contain. He dropped his arm and released the man before turning back to the team.

Will brushed his shirt down before muttering quietly, "I did what you were too afraid to do to get her back." The next instant he felt his nose explode in pain as a fist slammed into it, breaking it. He reached up to hold his face and looked up into the face of his assailant. His eyes didn't fall onto who he expected. Standing before him with loathing reflecting in brown eyes was Emily.

She turned and walked over to sit by Garcia as the tech analyst opened the link they had just been sent. The image was dark initially, making it impossible for them to make out anything on the screen. Then they heard his voice. "Good evening. I want you to remember that everything that has happened since our last conversation is your responsibility. You could have made a deal and ended this." A light came on and the screen suddenly showed a new scene. No longer was JJ in a chair but she was now standing, her arms raised above her head.

Emily immediately focused on the blonde, trying to take in every detail about her condition. She could see the wound on her shoulder had been bleeding but didn't appear to have been the source of significant blood loss. Her eyes scanned the rest of the blonde before noticing the cuts now present on her face. She felt her hand clench into a fist at realising he had hurt her further.

"Apparently Agent Jareau is not important enough for you to make a deal. Such a shame really." He moved to stand next to JJ, leaning close over her shoulder. Speaking quietly to the blonde, but loud enough to be heard through the video link. "It seems your boyfriend is the only one who wanted to make a deal. Do you know what he did to try to make a deal? He told me what was most important to each member of your team." Foyet stepped back slightly to watch the blonde's reaction and was greeted by disbelieving blue eyes. She shook her head, not believing that Will would do something like that or that he would know what was most important to her team.

"He gave me their secrets, told me their greatest fears. Even though I told him that I would take away whatever meant most to them. All that because he thought he would get you back." A cold smile crept across his face. "Do you know what your team value the most? Do you know what they fear losing above everything else?" He paused waiting to see if the blonde would answer. He leant in close to the woman once more, this time whispering so quietly only she could hear him. "I do."

JJ lunged forward at him, her chains preventing her from reaching him. He laughed at her attempt before turning to face the camera. "I had expected more from the FBI's elite team. Now you will have a chance to prove how good you are. Work out what you each value the most before I take it from you. Now we'll find out how strong your team really is." With that the video link went dead.

* * *

Rossi turned to face the man standing off to the side of the room. "What did you tell him?"

Will ahead blankly, not focusing on anyone in the room. "He said he'd release her. All he wanted was information. He was going to release her and then I could tell you so you could stop him." His voice was distant as if he was talking to himself rather than the assembled team.

"What did you give him?" Rossi repeated.

Will turned to face the older man. "The letters. Your letters to your families in case something happened."

"How did you give it to him?" Morgan asked, trying to contain his anger at the detective.

"He phoned a pay phone and then I left them on a bench nearby."

"Where was the pay phone?" Reid asked as he realised they may have a lead. "Show me on the map." Reid led the detective to the map that had been attached to one of the boards in the conference room.

"Here." Will pointed to the map.

"Anything else you have failed to tell us?" Rossi glared at the younger man.

"No."

"Get out." The coldness in Hotch's voice left no room for argument. Will looked at him and then at each of the faces in the room before turning and leaving.

The team sat quietly as the full implications of what had transpired set in. Their innermost thoughts that were only to be shared with the people they cared for most were now in Foyet's hands. He not only knew the people who they valued the most but also what they wanted them to know when there was no chance of humiliation or hurt.

"We need to work out what our letters would identify as our greatest weaknesses." Hotch started.

"We might have more than that. We know Foyet was here this morning at about 10am. Yet he was back where JJ was within the hour." Reid drew a circle on the map in blue pen. "Now we know that he was in the park at 4.30pm. It is now just gone 5.30." He drew a new circle in red pen. "He must be somewhere within this area here." Reid pointed to an area where the two circles overlapped.

"That's still a big area man." Morgan looked at the map.

"It is but when we are looking at what he wants to take from us, he is looking for what is the most significant. What could create the greatest suffering to us. The only letter I had was to my mom and she is in Las Vegas making her an unlikely target due to the distance and travel implications. While he wants to make us suffer, he won't risk getting caught by travelling too far. We need to focus on the links that are local."

Emily listened to all of the conversations knowing which way it would turn. She knew that Foyet had put them into a situation where they had to be completely open about their greatest fears. Admit to their worst nightmares. Leaving them with the hope that when it had been shared, they would still work together to prevent him from carrying out his aim. All the time questioning if they profiled Foyet correctly and if they were protecting the right person.


	9. Chapter 9

Disclaimer: I don't own them.

AN: Thank you to all those who reviewed. The reviews really do encourage me to write faster. My apologies for the delay in posting this one...last week got a bit hectic! I'll try not to leave it too long before the next update. Enjoy :o)

Chapter 9

"What are you going to do?" JJ's voice was quiet. She knew that by asking that question she was relinquishing more power to Foyet, letting him know that she cared about his actions.

He smiled at the blonde agent as he walked behind her. As he reappeared before her, he held a folder. "This Agent Jareau contains everything I need. Every bit of information…" He leant close to her. "To destroy each and every one of them." The last words were whispered slowly into her ear.

JJ closed her eyes, determined to fight back the tears that threatened to fall. Not willing to give him the satisfaction of watching her break. She opened her eyes to meet his, trying to keep her emotions hidden from his gaze.

"Don't you want to know what's in here?" He watched her closely for a reaction.

"I don't need to ask, I already know." JJ kept her voice steady, hoping she sounded determined.

Foyet smiled at her. "Are you sure? You know what or who means the most to every member of your team?" He waited to see if the blonde would respond. After no answer was forthcoming, he reached into the folder and pulled out a number of envelopes.

As the envelopes came out, JJ couldn't help but look down to see what clues they would reveal. She instantly recognised the handwriting on the top envelope as Garcia's on the one word, Derek. She watched as Foyet spread the envelopes out before her. "Pick one."

* * *

The rest of the team looked at one another. Nobody wanting to reveal the things held closest to their hearts, the last secrets they held. In a team where every action, every phrase could be profiled, some things were kept buried deeper to prevent the team from revealing that last detail.

"My mom and my sisters." Morgan spoke up finally. "My letters were to them. They are the ones that mean the most to me."

"Are they all in Chicago still?" Hotch asked the other agent.

"Yeah as far as I know."

Hotch nodded. "My letters were to Haley and Jack. I don't know where they are but we can notify the marshalls to ensure they increase security for them."

"Dave?" Hotch turned his attention to the older gentleman.

"Do you remember the Galen children?" He paused as he looked around the faces of his team, seeing recognition on Morgan, Garcia and Emily's faces. "My only letter was to them to explain why they were inheriting my estate." Meeting Hotch's steady gaze, Rossi knew the next question. "Indianapolis."

"Garcia?"

The quirky blonde shifted in her chair. "You guys and Kevin. You're my only family." Having listened to the locations of who the rest of the team held most dear she knew that out of all of them, her family was closest. The most accessible.

Hotch turned his gaze to Emily. She felt all of the eyes of the team on her at that moment. "My mother." She paused for a moment. "Garcia and JJ."

"Where is the ambassador posted at the moment?" Rossi asked the brunette.

"She's not. She's between assignments here in DC."

The room was quiet for a moment as the team processed the information they had been given. Each person trying to put aside their own feelings and be objective about the evidence. Knowing that they had to make a decision as to who was the most likely target, if they had any hope of catching Foyet.

* * *

JJ's blue eyes shot up to look Foyet in the face upon hearing those two words. Her eyes wide with the disbelief she felt at his demand. The thought of being the one to decide which member of her team suffered such a massive loss overwhelming her. "No." She had hoped that her voice would sound more confident but at that moment, she knew her shock betrayed her.

"Come now Agent Jareau, there must be someone you don't have such strong feelings for amongst your team. Or maybe there are people that you would spare the pain of loss? Pick one."

She knew that every action, every word was designed to create a greater control and dominance over her and the rest of the team. While there were people on the team she had stronger feelings for than others, there was no way she could name them knowing what would happen. She also knew she couldn't trust the man before her. That if she gave a name then there was a high probability that he would pick one of the others to hurt her more. She set her jaw as she reached her decision, summoning up all the determination she could and keeping one focus in her mind…To protect her family as best she could. "No. I won't be the one to decide."

As soon as the words left her mouth, she prepared herself as best she could for his response. The first blow to her face sent her head snapping round, she could taste blood and knew that he had split her lip. Before she had a chance to regain her footing properly, a second blow was dealt to her ribs. She instinctively wanted to double over as her breath was knocked from her body with the muffled sound of cracking, leaving her gasping for air. Her restraints prevented her from being able to move. The next few strikes blurred into one. She could feel the ache from where his fists had made contact, taste the blood on her lips. As the attack ended, she forced her head up, able to see him through one eye only as the other had already swollen closed. She could see him breathing heavily from the exertion of his actions. "Pick one or there will be a repeat of Boston."

JJ's mind flashed to the bus full of people that had been murdered because Hotch had refused to make a deal. She knew that Foyet would do the same again if she didn't decide. She knew that if he went after innocent people, they stood no chance of surviving. At least the team knew that he was going to target what they treasured. She only hoped that they had enough time to arrange the protection before he got there. She let her head drop as she looked at the envelopes that had been placed neatly to one side. "Third envelope."

Foyet reached down to pick up the envelopes from the floor and counted down to the third one before removing it from the stack. He pulled the letter free and smiled. "Thank you Agent Jareau. Now, if you'll excuse me I have business to attend to."

JJ saw him turn to leave and couldn't stop herself from asking the one question that plagued her thoughts. "Who is it?" She saw Foyet stop and glance down at the letter in his hand. He turned his head slightly.

"You'll find out when we next talk to your team. You can explain why you picked this one." With that he turned and left the room.

As she heard the door close, JJ felt the tears begin to fall. The knowledge that she was responsible for one of her team being about to lose someone they valued the most at the forefront of her mind. She knew that even if they were able to save everyone and she got out of this alive, there would still be the fall out from knowing she had chosen one of their loved ones. She knew that they would never be able to forgive her for that if they were unsuccessful.

* * *

"We go nowhere alone from this point on. With the distances involved and the risks of travelling it is most likely for him to target those of us locally. That means the members of this team primarily." Hotch looked upon each member of the team ensuring they heard his order, not willing to risk another of his agents ending up in a life threatening situation.

"Lynch knows that at the end of his shift he is to either remain in the building or report to us for a detail of a couple of agents to be located at his home." Morgan added.

"The agents and local PD have arrived with the ambassador. The area has been secured and the ambassador informed that she is not to leave the house without prior consent of the agent in charge." Rossi confirmed having just hung up the phone.

"The nursing home in Vegas have been informed to not allow any visitors near my mom without confirming with me first. Vegas PD have also been notified of the possible threat and have circulated Foyet's picture to all major stations and airports in the area." Reid sat back down after returning from his calls.

"Indianapolis PD have been informed and have done the same. They are sending a patrol car to the Galen house to inform them of the possible risk. The marshall service have been informed of the potential threat and are stepping up security for Haley and Jack." Garcia added. "I have also circulated copies of Foyet's image to all airports, bus stations and train stations within 100 miles of here in case Foyet tries to travel."

Emily was the last to return to the room. "Chicago PD have sent patrol cars to Morgan's family to inform them of the risk and secure their homes."

"Now what?" Garcia asked as the team fell silent once more.

"We wait." Hotch answered. He knew that this wasn't the answer any of them wanted to hear but until they could ascertain some further evidence, they had to wait and see if Foyet showed himself. "If you can get some rest, do so. It could be a long wait."

* * *

"Delivery. Sign here please." The young guy pointed to a space on his clipboard before handing over the envelope. "Have a nice day." With that he turned and left.

* * *

None of the team had been able to rest. Their minds all racing with too many possibilities of what might happen next. The fear that the phone would ring at any moment bringing them news that they had been unsuccessful in protecting someone ever present.

Garcia had continued to run traces on the video feeds hoping to be able to trace it back to the initial source or detect something in the videos that would reveal a clue as to where they could find JJ.

Rossi had returned to his office to re-read the case files and see if there was anything they had missed on the previous times.

Morgan had gone to his desk and called his family to try to reassure them. Knowing that his words were never going to be enough to put their minds at rest, not until they had Foyet in custody.

Reid had continued studying the map and the video footage trying to narrow down their search area. He knew that calling his mom would only serve to worry her about things she could not control.

Hotch had gone to his office, he sat at his desk and watched the video he had been sent last of Jack in the park one day. His only link to his son was now videos sent by the marshall service. His only hope being that Foyet wouldn't be able to find them. The marshall's had assured him that it would be unlikely that Foyet would travel to where his family was and Hotch had to trust them.

Emily had walked past Hotch's office on her way out of the conference room and had been shocked to see Henry standing in his play pen looking towards the door. After a check of the building, she had found out Will had left not long after Hotch had thrown him out of the conference room. The fact that he had just left his son left Emily feeling cold. She had gathered Henry up and taken him back to JJ's office, hoping to be able to give him the comfort he needed to rest.

* * *

As she opened the envelope and removed the letter. As she began to read, she felt her heart break. The tears fell down her cheeks silently as the words etched themselves into her memory. As she reached the end of the letter she knew what would happen next.

* * *

The sound of the phone ringing, sent an icy shiver through them all. Knowing that once the call was answered, the news they received could signal the destruction of one of their team. The feeling of guilt each agent felt followed the relief that it wasn't their phone ringing.

"Hello?" The one word betrayed the emotion playing under the surface.


	10. Chapter 10

Disclaimer: I don't own them.

AN: Big thanks to those who reviewed, I told you it made me write faster. ;o) Enjoy :o)

Chapter 10

As she was reading the letter, the tremors had begun. In those first moments, she just thought it was as a result of the words she had read. Not long after she had finished reading, her body started to contract and spasm. The muscles no longer being controlled by her body. She screamed out in pain as the spasms became more extreme. Her body fell from the chair and onto the cold floor. The convulsions became more violent until as suddenly as they appeared, they stopped. Her muscles finally relaxed and the letter that had been gripped so tightly in her hand fell to the floor from her lifeless grip. Her body lay silent on the floor, leaving those who witnessed the events unable to comprehend what had happened or revive her.

* * *

The other agents made their way into the conference room upon hearing the phone. None of them wanting to know what had happened and yet each knowing they had to find out and support their team member.

They watched as the emotion played out on the agent's face. The change from worry to devastation in such a short space of time. They watched as the phone was hung up.

Reid stared at the phone in his hand, wanting to deny what he had been told. Trying to reconcile what had happened with logic but right then, there was no logic to the events that had played out. He looked up from his phone to meet the concerned gaze of his team. "My mom is dead." His brows drew together as he struggled to contain his emotions. His brain was telling him that falling apart wouldn't help, wouldn't bring her back but in that moment he had lost the only family he had known. His brain was telling him to keep it together to work the case, his heart was telling him the opposite.

"Reid, I'm so sorry man." Morgan approached the young agent and placed his hand on his shoulder to try to offer some form of comfort. Knowing that no words or actions would be able to stop the young mans pain but he still had to try.

Reid shook his head, trying to clear the emotions and focus on the facts. He knew that the team needed to know what had happened to help them protect the people they treasured. "It was fast. One of the nurses at the care home also died."

"How?" Hotch asked, understanding that the young man needed to focus on facts at that moment.

"They don't know for sure. A courier brought a letter to my mom this morning and it happened just after she read it. The nurse collapsed after she touched the letter." He paused for a moment. "They have taken it for analysis." Another pause, his eyes had become distant as the words played back in his mind. "She collapsed with extreme convulsions and spasms." The images that accompanied the words, finally broke his resolve and he rushed from the room to empty the contents of his stomach.

"Garcia I need you to trace that courier. He must have delivered the letter to the company." Rossi took charge of the situation.

"Yes sir." She called the care home to find the name of the courier company and then started her search for the source of the delivery.

Hotch left the room to follow the youngest agent, all too aware of the problems Reid had faced in the past and not willing to lose the young man to his demons.

* * *

JJ felt a presence near her and opened her eyes. Blinking to clear her vision from the one eye that she could see out of, she saw Foyet busy on one side of the room. She took the moments before he realised she was awake to recall what had happened. She remembered the beating and being made to choose and then at some point, it all went blank. She could only assume that she had passed out…Whether it be from pain or exhaustion she was unsure.

"You're awake." His voice was almost cheerful. JJ just glared at him as best she could while trying to move her arms and regain some circulation from where they had been supporting her whole body weight. "I have been waiting so we can make a phone call." Those few words made JJ's stomach turn.

She watched as he set up the camera before her once more. He pushed a few buttons on the computer connected to the camera and waited.

* * *

"Sir, we have a new link." Garcia said from her laptop, the thoughts of what would be said making her wish they didn't have to open it.

"Open it."

Garcia let her eyes close for a second to try to prepare herself for what they would see and hear and then opened the link.

As the image appeared on the screen, they could see Foyet standing in a dark room. "Good morning agents. I thought I would give you the chance to talk. This is a live feed so if you have a microphone connected then you can speak." He waited for a response from the team.

"Where is Agent Jareau?" Emily asked from her seat beside Garcia. Morgan had gone to get Hotch and Reid back into the room.

* * *

JJ heard Emily's voice and couldn't help but feel a fresh surge of hope that they hadn't given up on finding her. She felt the relief wash through her as she realised that whatever envelope she had picked, it hadn't been Emily that had fallen victim to him.

Foyet smiled at the question. "She is here."

"Let us see her." Hotch's voice carried across the room as he entered the door.

"Nice of you to join us Agent Hotchner. Is the whole team there now?"

JJ closed her eyes as she waited for the answer to the question. Dreading that there would be one of her team missing. That whatever her decision had been earlier had cost them one of the members of her family.

"Yes."

JJ felt a certain amount of relief at hearing that the team were still there, together. She knew that something had happened and knew that in the next few moments, she would discover what her choice had led to.

"How are you Doctor Reid?" JJ's eyes snapped open as she head the question. She was unconsciously shaking her head, not wanting to believe what her head was telling her.

"Enough…Let us see Agent Jareau or this conversation is over." Hotch's voice left no room for arguments.

Foyet smiled and nodded. "Very well." The screen went dark for a moment as he stepped towards the camera to reposition it. As the camera was turned, they caught a glimpse of what lay in the room behind the blonde. Before they could fully process what they had seen, the camera focused on the young agent.

* * *

Hotch's fist clenched at the side of his body as he took in the appearance of the woman. Garcia's hand flew up to cover her mouth, hoping to stifle the gasp that escaped at seeing the injuries to her friend. Her eyes filled with tears that she refused to let fall. Morgan ran his hands over his head, the feeling of helplessness increasing with every bruise he saw. Emily felt tears stinging the back of her eyes as she saw the pained stance of the blonde. The lump that had formed in her throat prevented her from talking. Her entire focus was on the blonde woman on the screen, cataloguing her injuries and willing the blonde to hold on until they found her.

* * *

"Are you ready to make a deal yet?"

For a moment, nobody on the team spoke. They each wanted to protect those they valued most and if they believed that making a deal with him would save the remaining ones, they would have agreed in an instant. They all knew that making a deal with the devil would never end well and that he could not be trusted to uphold his end.

"No." Hotch's voice sounded more confident than he felt. He knew that the answer he gave could very well cost a member of his team the most important person in their life.

* * *

"Very well." Foyet stepped out of the frame of the camera for a moment before reappearing with a handful of envelopes and facing JJ. "Pick one." His voice was cold, devoid of all emotion as he asked her to repeat her earlier action.

JJ shook her head. "No."

"Do you not remember what happened last time you refused? This time will be worse. You will pick one in the end so save yourself the pain and just decide now." Seeing the blonde still shake her head, he continued. "They wouldn't make a deal to save you before you decided that Dr Reid's mother would die…Do you really think they will save you now? Now that they know it was your choice."

JJ felt a single tear slip down her cheek as she heard his words and realised that her decision had cost Reid the only family he had. "I'm sorry Spence." Her voice was quiet, broken. She never expected to be forgiven for that and knew that those words would mean very little when it had been her fault that his mom was dead but she had to let him know she was sorry.

"I don't blame you JJ." Reid's voice came through the speakers. She could hear the pain in those few words and felt her heart break at the statement.

"How sweet. Now…Pick one." Foyet's voice held an edge of anger.

"Me." JJ's voice held a quiet determination with that one word. She raised her head and met Foyet's gaze as best she could in her weakened state. "I pick me."

Foyet smiled coldly at her. "Don't worry Agent Jareau, your name is in there twice. Just pick the right envelope and it will all be over."

"Pick one JJ and trust us. We'll be ready for the next one." Morgan's voice was clear, his tone unwavering.

JJ was quiet for a moment. She knew that they would have increased the security for their loved ones. She knew that however he had managed to get to Reid's mom would be covered for the others. She had to trust them to save their own families. She had to trust them to save her.

"Promise me you'll save them?" She waited for an answer.

"We promise." Hotch's voice this time.

JJ nodded slowly, having to trust they would keep their promise. "Number six." She watched as Foyet counted through the envelopes before pulling out number six from the pile. She watched him read the name and smile.

"Any final words you'd like to say? This might be your last chance."

JJ had so many things running through her head to say right then. She wanted to explain to Reid and beg his forgiveness. She wanted to tell Hotch it wasn't his fault, that he wasn't to blame for this situation. She wanted to tell Morgan to take care of Garcia. She wanted to say so much to Emily. Things that she now knew she had missed her chance to say. She knew that speaking those words now would only cause more pain. She opened her mouth to speak but no words came out. She shook her head, knowing that even if she had been able to speak, no words could explain everything in so short a time.

"Very well." Foyet walked beside her and whispered in her ear. "Say goodbye Agent Jareau." She looked down to see the envelope he held in his hand and read the name. Before she had a chance to tell them, the camera light went off.


	11. Chapter 11

Disclaimer: I don't own them.

AN: First of all, a big thank you to all those who reviewed. They are much appreciated and motivate me to keep writing. Secondly, my apologies for the delay in posting...Work got a bit hectic. I hope this is worth the wait. This chapter is for T...You certainly made some of my darker days a bit brighter this past couple of weeks x. Enjoy :o)

Chapter 11

"We need the investigation results from Vegas now." Hotch turned to face the team and saw Garcia start typing on her laptop immediately.

"Got it." The blonde scanned down the document on her screen. "Cause of death was respiratory arrest as a result of a pulmonary oedema. The tox screen showed some abnormalities. There was no cholinesterase present in the sample."

The team looked over to Reid as he started speaking. "It's an enzyme that breaks down the neurotransmitter acetylcholine. Without the enzyme, the nerves can't function properly. It's like someone has flipped the switch to turn them on and it's become stuck that way."

"What causes it?" Rossi asked both Reid and Garcia, being fully aware that the young agent wasn't going to be on the top of his game in light of the recent loss he had suffered.

"I have quite a list here sir." Garcia responded.

"Narrow it down to what is fast acting and could be either inhaled or absorbed through the skin." Hotch commented after mentally reviewing what had been relayed about the circumstances surrounding Reid's mother's death.

"Start with irreversible inhibitors. Foyet wouldn't want to run the risk of failing in his task." Reid added quietly.

Garcia tapped away on her keyboard for a moment before turning up the result of her search. "We have one at the top of the list, parathion. Readily absorbed through the skin and inhaled, it's closely related to sarin." Garcia looked back up at the rest of the team, her eyes wide.

"Contact all of the officers protecting our families and let them know that nothing is to be allowed to enter the houses unless it has been checked. No deliveries of any kind."

"Yes sir." Garcia left the room to make the calls.

* * *

"Please…Don't." JJ looked up into the cold eyes of Foyet. She could feel the tears stinging at the back of her eyes. She knew that by showing him the emotion she was feeling, she was giving him the power he wanted. Having read the name on the envelope, she couldn't hide her feelings. There was no way to keep her tears from falling as the images flashed in her mind of what would happen next.

"Well now Agent Jareau, the people who could have stopped this didn't make a deal." He stepped in close behind her, leaning over her shoulder so that his breath brushed over her skin as he spoke. "Are you going to make me a deal?"

JJ let her eyes drift closed, fighting down the revulsion she felt at having him so close to her. When she spoke, her voice was barely above a whisper, knowing that she only had one option left available to her. "Yes."

* * *

JJ sat on the cold floor, her knees drawn up against her chest with her head resting against them. Foyet had left a while ago. Sitting in the dark, JJ had no idea how much time had passed since. She knew that her decision to make a deal with him would hurt the others but she couldn't just sit back and watch as he carried out his own plans. She hadn't been sure that he would even accept her deal, it had been a desperate attempt. There had been a feeling of relief that had washed through her as he had smiled at her suggestion. That relief had now faded, leaving her feeling empty. Thoughts swirling in her mind about all the things that she knew she would never be able to say or do. Knowing that her decision would cause them pain but also hoping that it would save them from losing what they valued most.

* * *

The phone in the conference room rang. "Agent Hotchner." Hotch's face darkened as he listened to the voice on the phone. He spoke as he turned to where Morgan sat, "Get the others."

As the team filtered back into the conference room, nobody needed to ask what the phone call was about. One look at Hotch gave them the answer.

Hotch pushed a button on the phone. "We're all here."

"Good. There is someone who wants to talk to you all." Foyet's voice filled the room from the speakerphone.

There was silence as the team waited. They all knew that the person who the voice was most likely to belong to was JJ but part of each of them worried that it would be someone else.

"Hotch?" The one word was spoken quietly and yet there was no fear in her voice.

"Yes, we're all here JJ."

"Good." There was a pause. "I needed to tell you all something." They could all hear JJ taking a deep breath. "I want you to know that I know you never gave up. That you would never give up…but I couldn't keep doing it."

Garcia started to shake her head at the words.

"I couldn't let him keep hurting you all because of my decisions. I made a deal with him."

"What was the deal?" Hotch asked, trying to keep the apprehension he felt from his voice.

"I traded my life for the one on the envelope." Garcia felt the tears start to fall as she heard the words. "I know that none of you want me to do this but I have to. I can't just sit here and wait as he keeps hunting your families. I…"

JJ's words stopped at the sound of a new voice. "No."

A silence filled the room, broken only by the sound of shaky breathing through the phone. "Em…Please…" JJ's voice sounded thicker, a sign that the blonde was fighting back the emotion threatening to spill over.

"No…You can't make a deal. Tell him you have changed your mind." Emily could hear her own voice starting to crack as she spoke. All her carefully constructed compartments that held her emotions beginning to fracture.

"I can't Em. I'm sorry."

"Why? We can stop him getting to anyone else."

"I couldn't live with myself if he got past all your protection."

"He won't. Please Jennifer…I'm begging you…Take it back." Emily knew she was on the verge of losing control over her emotions. She could feel the lump that had formed in her throat making it harder for her to get her words out.

"Em…Listen to me…I need you to do something. I need you to promise me one thing. I need you to look after Henry for me. I need you to make sure he has everything he needs as he grows up. That he knows I always loved him. There's a letter in the top drawer of my desk that will explain it."

"You'll be there to do that. Just take back the deal."

"Promise me Em." There was the sound of JJ's breath hitching. "Please Em, promise me. I need to hear you promise." JJ's voice was broken by the tears she was trying to contain.

Emily looked down as she felt someone take her hand. She met Garcia's tear stained gaze and knew that the blonde was trying to offer her the support to say the words that JJ so desperately needed to hear. When she spoke her voice was barely above a whisper, she doubted that JJ would even have heard it. "I promise."

"Thank you." The next sound that filled the room was the sound of JJ crying out in pain.

Garcia tightened her grip on the brunette's hand as they listened to the sounds of their friend in pain. Emily stared at the phone on the table as the tears fell down her cheeks, her whole body numb. They had no idea how long the screams lasted but finally they had stopped. Emily felt her body begin to shake as she realised that the silence could mean only one thing.

The sound of a voice broke the deafening silence that they found themselves in. "Goodbye Agent Jareau." The sound of a single gunshot rang through the room. Emily felt her legs collapse at that moment, sinking to the floor on her knees. Her hands covering her face as the sobs wracked her body.

Garcia had turned and buried her head into Morgan's chest as her own tears fell. His arms had instinctively wrapped around her, his own gaze remained unfocused.

Hotch sat frozen to his seat, his usually stony expression broken by a look of sadness.

Rossi reached over the table to hang up the phone as the dial tone sounded in the room.

Hotch stood from his seat, finding every movement felt stiff. He knelt down beside Emily and reached a hand out to her, resting it on her shoulder and hoping to offer some form of comfort to the woman. "Emily…"

She looked up at him, her eyes shining with unshed tears. In that moment Hotch knew that he might have lost more than one team member in that second. "Emily…What can I do?"

"Nothing." As she spoke that one word, she knew it was the truth. There was nothing that anyone could say or do in that moment to take away the gut wrenching pain that was permeating every cell in her body. Nothing would be able to erase the sound of JJ's screams from her mind. Nothing would be able to erase the images that had formed as she had listened. Images that were a combination of all the horrific things they had seen through the years, all the victims with JJ's face. With that single gunshot, her whole world had shattered and now there was nothing but darkness.

She stood from where she had fallen to the ground and walked out of the room without another word. Garcia made a move to follow but Morgan held her back. "Not yet baby girl. She needs some time." Garcia looked over at him and saw the pain his dark eyes held. She stopped in her actions and watched Emily leave.

* * *

Emily left the room with no real idea where she was headed. She found herself standing at the door to Hotch's office and as she looked in, she saw Henry sitting in his playpen. As she met his blue eyes, she saw the silent tears that were falling from them. She went over to him and lifted him against her. As soon as he was close enough, he grabbed handfuls of her shirt and tried to pull himself closer. Emily held him close and carried him out of Hotch's office, a destination in her mind.

She closed JJ's office door behind her and looked around the room. Images of all the times that she had come to speak to the blonde flashed in her mind. The way she would lean on her desk and rub her ear when she was deep in thought about a case file. The smile that would appear whenever Emily came in with a fresh cup of coffee for her. Emily drew in a deep breath as she fought back the fresh tears that threatened to fall. She walked over to JJ's desk and sat down in her chair. She reached down and opened the bottom drawer first and took out the DVD that she had replaced what felt like so long ago. She put it on the desk before opening the top drawer and finding the letter addressed to her there.

She opened the letter first and read it. As she continued reading she glanced down at the baby curled up against her. "Your mom made sure everything would be taken care of for you Henry." He sat back slightly to look up at her. "She loved you more than anything in the world. She made me promise to make sure you grew up without wanting for anything and knowing how much she loved you. I'll do everything to keep that promise." She placed a gentle kiss on his forehead and felt a tear slide down her cheek.

As she sat back she picked up the DVD case and placed it into the computer on JJ's desk. The media player opened on the screen and then the DVD started to play revealing JJ sitting on the same chair that Emily was now in. Emily watched as the video began playing.

"_Hey Em. If you are watching this then I guess I never managed to get the courage to say this to you and now it's too late." JJ ran a hand through her hair as she sighed. "You remember that case in LA with Johnny McHale? When all he had left was an impersonal answer phone message? That stuck with me. We all wrote our letters but I really struggled when it came to writing yours. I think it took me about 20 attempts to get past the first line when I wrote it. As time went on I realised something and the letter that I had written for you just wasn't right anymore. We just got back from Long Island. I think you were the only one to realise how shaken up I was by what happened today. I know that I should want to go home to seek comfort but that's the problem." JJ paused again before continuing. "The one place I want to go, the one place that I know would provide me with comfort isn't home…It's with you. Still with me or have you hit eject by now?" She ran a hand through her hair again. "I really messed up Em. I'm recording this now and I hope that I'll get to throw this away and record a new one with a different message soon. I just need to sort a few things out first. I need to be sure I won't lose Henry when I break up with Will. I've got to make sure everything is sorted out because I can't lose him. I'm going to see a lawyer at the weekend to discuss custody arrangements. Things really got complicated so fast." _

_JJ paused for a moment as she considered her next words. "When we were in Miami and Will showed up, I broke up with him. That case just hit a bit close to home. Him being there just felt like my two world's colliding and it made it all real. Until then I could keep pretending to myself that I had what I wanted. When he was pushing me to tell you all about him, about us, I knew it wasn't what I wanted. I realised it wasn't him I wanted. I was going to tell you after that case but when we stood in the station and watched him go, you told me to go for him. That comment really threw me. Everything I thought I knew came crashing down. I thought I was wrong and so I ran after him. I needed to feel like somebody wanted me. I regret that so much. I should have stopped running then but I never had the courage to tell you what I felt." _

_JJ took a drink from the coffee on her desk. "It's 2am and I'm drinking coffee in my office at work when I should be in the arms of the person I love. God I'm such an idiot Em. I've spent the past three years running away from what I really wanted and what I felt. I'm tired of running. I'm tired of being afraid and I'm tired of not at least being honest with you." _

_There was a pause as JJ took a few breaths. "What it comes down to Em is that I am in love with you. I know that you probably don't feel the same. There was a time when I thought you did but I blew it. I'm so sorry for hurting you. I never intended to do that but I was so scared of what it would all mean for me, for you and the team. I know that if I haven't got it all sorted and something happens to me this will probably hurt you even more." JJ rubbed her forehead. "I hope you never see this Em but if you do, know that I was doing everything I could to be able to say this to you in person. Remember that I love you and my vision of a future was with you and Henry as my family…If you'd have had us." _

_JJ reached forwards as if she was going to turn the camera off, then sat back. "I wouldn't have given up without fighting Em. I made that mistake once, I'd never make it again. I'm sorry that I wasn't strong enough to make it back to you but I'll never stop loving you." _

Emily watched as the screen went blank. She didn't know when she had started to cry but she was aware of the tears now trailing down her cheeks. She felt Henry reach his hands up and put them on her face. She looked down at sad blue eyes, shining with unshed tears. "I'm sorry Henry. I couldn't save your mom. I should have…I should have done so many things different. I'm sorry."

The brunette lost track of how long she sat there with Henry. She was pulled out of her thoughts by the sound of her phone ringing. "Prentiss."

"Agent Prentiss…I have an offer for you." Foyet's voice chilled her to her core. She wanted to slam the phone down and never deal with him again but knew it wasn't going to be over until they had found him and either captured or killed him. She knew if she was the one to find him, it would be the latter.

"What?" The loathing was evident in her voice.

"No need to be rude. I know how much Agent Jareau meant to you. I can only imagine how it must have felt to hear her cries of pain and then the silence as I killed her."

"You can't imagine anything, you're a psychopath."

"You could learn a lot from me Agent Prentiss. I wanted to give you the chance to reclaim Agent Jareau's body. I have no need for such things but I'm sure you'd like to give her some form of burial."

"What do you want in return?"

"Nothing. I have already taken what meant most to you." He paused for a moment. "I'll send you the GPS co-ordinates of her body. If you tell any of your team about this conversation or come with anyone else, you'll never find her body." Without waiting for an answer he hung up the phone.

Emily looked down at Henry again and knew she had to do it. She couldn't refuse the chance to bring JJ home, even if she had been too late to bring her home alive.


	12. Chapter 12

Disclaimer: Still not mine but I live in hope.

AN: Big thank you's to everyone who reviewed my last chapter. They were much appreciated and made me write a bit faster. I hope this lives up to expectations. Enjoy :o)

Chapter 12

Emily stared down at the baby in her arms. JJ's words echoed in her mind. She knew that she had promised the blonde that she would make sure Henry never wanted for anything in his life. Part of her knew that this could be a trap, just one of Foyet's sick plans to capture another member of their team. She knew that there was a good chance that there would be no body at the location he specified but there was the possibility. As she looked down into Henry's clear blue eyes she knew that even the tiniest possibility of bringing the blonde home so that Henry would be able to say goodbye was worth the risk. Even though she had failed to bring JJ back alive, she could at the very least give her a proper burial.

Emily reached for the phone, Foyet's words repeating in her mind. She couldn't risk contacting the team and letting them know what had transpired. They would try to talk her out of it or stop her. The chance that Foyet was somehow monitoring their conversations also concerned her. Lifting the handset, she dialled the only number that might provide some assistance.

"Hey, it's Emily. I need a favour."

* * *

After putting the phone down, Emily knew she couldn't just leave without an explanation. She picked up a pen and started to write a letter for the others, hoping that they would understand her reasons. Knowing as she looked down at the picture of JJ and Henry sitting on the corner of the blonde's desk that there was no alternative.

* * *

A knock at the door brought sounded as Emily put the pen down on the desk. As the door opened, she nodded a greeting.

"Have you got it?"

"Of course. Are you going to tell me what's going on Emily?" Jordan Todd stepped inside the room and closed the door behind her, hoping that the privacy the door afforded them would be sufficient for the brunette to open up to her.

"I can't. Just wait thirty minutes after I leave the building before giving them this." Emily handed the younger agent the letter she had written.

Jordan fixed Emily with a concerned look and tried to read what the older agent was planning. She knew that it would prove to be a fruitless task, the older woman could hide her feelings and thoughts better than anyone else the young agent knew. "You'd better be careful Emily."

The brunette nodded, "I'll try."

Jordan passed Emily a small box and then turned to leave the room. "Thirty minutes. Not a second more." She glanced back over her shoulder before turning to leave the office, leaving Emily alone once more.

Emily opened the box and checked the contents. At that moment her phone beeped, signalling a new message. She clicked a button and the message opened on the screen. GPS co-ordinates. Nothing else. Emily knew that this was it. She looked down at the sleeping baby still lying in her arms. Slowly, she bent forward so as not to wake him and placed a gentle kiss on his head, her eyes drifting shut and offering up a silent prayer that she would be able to keep her promise to JJ after this was done.

Emily rose from the seat and made her way back into the bullpen. Hoping that she could settle Henry back into his travel cot without running into any of the team. She knew that there would be concerned glances and questions to answer if their paths should cross. Neither of which she felt strong enough to deal with and still be able to stay true to her mission.

As the brunette placed Henry down in his cot, she brushed the errant strands of hair down on his head. She reached up and unclasped the chain around her own neck. As she brought the locket down, she opened it one more time, gazing upon the image held within. She felt a stab of pain shoot through her heart as she looked upon the smiling image of JJ. "I'm sorry Jay…I'm bringing you home." She reached forward and refastened the chain around the edge of the cot. "You keep this until I get back…It kept me going when I thought I had nothing left. No matter what happens, just remember that even when it seems like the night is never-ending, there will always be a dawn." She let her finger graze across the picture once more before allowing the locket to drop from her grasp.

* * *

A knock on the door to the conference room, brought everyone's gaze up from the tasks they were mindlessly carrying out. "Agent Todd?" Hotch's voice echoed the confusion he felt at seeing the young woman standing in the doorway.

"I have something for you all…From Emily."

The expressions on everyone's faces changed. First the confusion about where Emily was, then the realisation of what must have happened followed by the fear that their nightmare was yet to end.

Jordan stepped into the room and handed Hotch the letter from Emily. Hotch accepted the letter and opened it before reading it to the team.

"I know that right now you are probably cursing my name and have no idea why I would turn my back on the team. To offer you an explanation would take too long and I'm not sure I have the words left to express everything I would need to say to give you all a true understanding. I hope that I will have the opportunity to explain it to you all properly another day. Foyet called my cell a while ago." Hotch paused for a moment as he prepared himself for what he was about to read.

"He offered me the location of JJ's body. I know what you are thinking and that if you hadn't been cursing my name before, you will be now. I realise that it is probably another of his games, another trap but if there is the slightest possibility that I can bring her home then I had to take it. I couldn't leave her somewhere unknown and never give her a proper burial. She gave up her life protecting us. This was the least I could do since I failed to save her. I know who I am dealing with and I'm going into this with a full understanding of the most likely outcome. I'm sorry that I have to do this alone but I couldn't risk telling you."

"Damnit. Not again." Morgan slammed his fist into the table. His frustration winning out as the realisation that he could lose two friends tonight settled heavily upon him. Garcia reached out to take his hand, trying to offer him some calm even as she felt herself shattering.

Hotch continued to read the last part of the letter. "I had Jordan bring me a tracking device. This way you can follow me from a safe distance and if anything happens, you'll know where to look. If this is all part of Foyet's plan then you will know where to find him. No matter what happens, you will be able to find him so JJ can get the justice she deserves."

"What's the device?" Garcia asked Jordan as she started typing on her laptop once more, her goal clear in her mind. If nothing else, she would make sure that Emily's efforts were not in vain. That once she found Foyet, the rest of the team was ready to make their move.

"Here." Jordan handed her a card with the code for the tracking device she had given to Emily. Garcia typed it into her system and projected the image on the screen in the conference room.

"She's still moving." Some more tapping. "She hasn't stopped yet so we're not too late." The hope that had been absent from Garcia's voice was trying to shine back through. Losing one of her best friends was enough.

"Reid, stay here with Garcia. When she stops try to complete the geographical profile. This will be the third point. Rossi, Morgan you're with me." Hotch made a move for the door. Finally glad to have somewhere to go, rather than having to spend another minute waiting in that room.

* * *

Emily pulled up at the co-ordinates she had been given. It was an empty lot, the lighting was poor giving her limited visibility in the area. Something that sent a cold shiver racing down her spine. Everything about the area screamed trap and yet she knew she couldn't drive away. Not without finding out if JJ's body was there. If she was to turn and drive away, she would have to live with the question of if the body of her blonde friend was waiting for her to reclaim it. Living with the doubt that she could have done something for the younger woman would tear her apart. She knew there was no choice but to proceed.

She opened the car door, unholstering her gun as she stepped out of the vehicle. She checked the immediate area and then proceeded further into the empty lot. Every step she took led her closer to the conclusion of this act in Foyet's game. Her footsteps echoed off the walls of the nearby buildings, making it impossible to ascertain where her footsteps ended and anybody else's began. The feeling of unease kept growing inside the brunette with every step she took that led her further from the safety of the SUV. Then her eye caught sight of something.

* * *

"Sir, she has stopped. I've sent the co-ordinates to your GPS now. I'm trying to get some cameras in that area but at the moment, it doesn't seem like there are any available." Garcia's voice came through the com system.

"Keep trying baby girl." Turning to Hotch, Morgan saw the tension radiating from the older man's expression. They were both all too aware of the fact that they were 30 minutes behind the brunette and that every moment that passed might be one too many to save her.

* * *

Emily felt her breath catch as her eyes focused on the object in the far corner of the lot. For a moment, she was unable to move her legs. They felt as if they had been glued to the spot. She knew that she had to move closer to confirm what her eyes were already telling her. Slowly she lifted her leg and took the first step closer to the body. Every time she tried to lift her leg to take the next step, she felt the resistance. Everything in her wanted to turn and run. To just leave and not see the reality for herself. Part of her wanted to believe that JJ was still alive and that this was just another one of Foyet's games designed to control and destroy them. That part grew smaller with each step she took closer to the body.

First her eyes settled on the build of the woman…Slender, toned.

Then the blonde hair came into focus…No longer shining in countless different shades. The dim light cast from nearby buildings made it dull and lifeless.

Next came the clothing. The images from the video links flashed in Emily's mind. The blue jeans and white shirt matching what JJ was wearing. The right shoulder stained with blood.

Finally, she reached the body. Standing beside it, she felt her chest constrict, her breathing become laboured. The shirt was stained with blood and had an obvious gunshot wound through the back, just above the heart. Emily forced herself to focus and gave one more visual sweep on the area before dropping slowly to her knees beside the body.

* * *

"How much longer?" Morgan was getting impatient. Everything felt like it was taking too long. They needed to be there already. Emily had been stationary at her destination for twenty minutes. Every moment that passed they kept expected a phone call to come through from Foyet, mocking them once more.

"Ten minutes." Hotch clenched his jaw, understanding the impatience of the younger agent. Feeling all too aware himself that they were running out of time. Hotch pressed his foot down on the accelerator, pushing the SUV forward faster, hoping they would make it in time.

* * *

Emily knelt next to the body, unable to move. She knew that she had to move the blonde hair that had fallen across the face to confirm what everything else was already telling her. Yet she knew that the moment she brushed the hair aside, the image of the blonde staring lifelessly at her would be burned into her mind forever. She could feel her whole body begin to shake as she moved her hand forward. The knowledge that the one time she would run her hands through blonde hair would be to confirm the identity of the body, not as a form of comfort or affection. Every fantasy and dream she'd had would be shattered.

As her fingers touched the skin beneath the hair, she could still feel the last lingering traces of heat. She could feel tears slowly beginning their journey down her cheeks as she gently brushed the hair away from the face. As soon as the hair had been brushed back, Emily's head dropped forwards and the tears flowed freely as she let herself cry.

* * *

"There." Morgan pointed at the SUV pulled up at the side of the road. Hotch slammed on the brakes and the three men piled out of the car.

"Where is she Garcia?" Hotch asked through the com system.

"North east corner. She'd been there the whole time."

"Move." Hotch ordered. The three agents moved swiftly forward, their guns drawn. Every shadow and sound caused them to turn and inspect it. None of them willing to fall victim to Foyet through carelessness.

Finally they could make out a shape on the floor in the corner of the lot. The three agents moved forwards, preparing themselves for what they were about to witness. As they got closer, they saw one body on the ground. As they approached the body, they focused on what lay to the side…Emily's gun and the tracking device.


	13. Chapter 13

Disclaimer: I don't own them.

AN: First of all a big thank you to those who reviewed. They are as always greatly appreciated and do motivate me to write a bit faster. Enjoy :o)

Chapter 13

"She can't just have disappeared. We were ten minutes behind her." Morgan allowed his frustration to boil over upon the discovery of Emily's gun and the tracker. "She has to be here." Morgan moved away from the body , knowing there was nothing more he could do there. His hope now firmly focused on finding Emily before she could have got too far away.

"Morgan!" Hotch called after him. He saw the younger agent still moving away from him. Hotch gave one last look down at the body that lay before him before standing and following the other agent. "Come on."

Rossi retrieved Emily's gun from the ground before following the other two men. Part of him hoping they would find a clue as to the brunette agents whereabouts but a greater part already felt they were too late.

* * *

Emily opened her eyes to unfamiliar surroundings, having to blink a few times to shake the blurred vision. A frown creased her brow as she tried to work out where she was and how she got there.

"Good evening Agent Prentiss." Her head snapped up to the sight of Foyet sitting in a chair a couple of metres in front of her, his body language was completely relaxed. The voice sent chills running through her body. Memories began flashing through her mind.

JJ as the knife entered her shoulder, the way she bit down on her lip and closed her eyes tightly trying to ignore the pain.

The look of determination not to give up, not to let Foyet win despite the injuries he had inflicted upon her.

JJ's voice telling her she was sorry. The way her voice had sounded strained as she tried to control the emotions threatening to overwhelm her.

The regret and sadness that shone through as she asked Emily to promise her to look after Henry.

The relief and acceptance in her voice as she had uttered the final two words, the last words Emily would hear her speak.

The screams.

The gunshot.

The silence.

Her heart shattering once at that sound and then a second time after hearing JJ's admission that she loved her.

"So nice of you to join me." Foyet had moved to stand before her. As soon as she focused on him she tried to lunge forwards. Her only reward was a sharp pain in her shoulders as restraints reached their limits. She fell to her knees as the realisation of her situation hit.

"Still have some fight in you I see." He crouched down, just out of her reach. "I wonder how long you will fight for." His eyes searched her face. "Agent Jareau fought until the end." He paused as her brown eyes snapped up to meet his, the shade almost black through the rage she felt towards the man before her. "Well, until she saw your name on that envelope anyway."

Emily felt her anger vanish in an instant. Where only moments before she was aware of every part of her body, could feel every part as her heart pounded in her chest…Now there was nothing. Every part of her felt numb. She was vaguely aware of her head shaking slightly in an attempt to deny the information she had just been told.

"Oh that's right. You didn't know. She traded her life for yours…That was our deal."

Emily sat for a moment as the news sank in. Then one question formed in her mind. "Why am I here then?" Her voice was barely above a whisper.

"Did you never hear the old saying…You should never make a deal with the devil." He smiled as he stood, leaving her alone once more.

As she sat in the dimly lit room, she couldn't stop the guilt from pervading every cell in her body. Emily pictured the blonde, smiling at her as they travelled home from a case across the plane. Then the image morphed into the lifeless form lying on the ground in the cold, no longer smiling and Emily felt a single tear slip down her cheek.

* * *

"No sign Sir." Hotch stood quietly as he received the final report from one of the police search teams. They had called in the local police to aid in their search of the area, knowing that time was crucial in this case and wanting all possible areas covered. They had checked every building in the immediate area and had come up with nothing. There wasn't a single sign of either Emily or Foyet.

"We should head back to Quantico. See if Reid has managed to get anything from the geographical profile." Rossi nodded his agreement. Hotch then turned to face Morgan who was standing, his back leaning against the door of the SUV, staring into the distance.

"When will he stop?" Morgan's voice had lost it's normal confidence. Hotch looked at the younger agent as his brows knitted together with concern. Even when Morgan had been arrested, he hadn't spoken with the sound of resignation that his voice now held.

As Hotch considered the answer to give to the dark agent, his own sense of hopelessness grew. He knew that he stood to lose two of his agents to this one man tonight. He wasn't sure if Reid would make it through the situation intact either. Losing his mother would have been hard enough to cope with on its own but to lose JJ and Emily too…Hotch feared that would be too much and that the younger agent would resort to drugs to escape from the pain. Hotch met Morgan's gaze, "When we stop him."

He knew it wasn't the answer that Morgan wanted to hear. The question had been asked with the hope of receiving an answer that would provide some form of comfort, something to replace the hope that seemed long gone. Yet he couldn't offer his friend what he sought as every part of him knew that Foyet wouldn't stop until they found him.

There was a silence between the three men as they each considered how to move forward. Morgan's voice broke the silence, "How am I supposed to tell Penelope?"

Hotch was pulled from his thoughts by the question. The broken sound of the normally strong agents voice made him realise that maybe it was already too late to save his team. That Foyet might have already won. That he had finally found a way to break them all.

* * *

Foyet walked into the room once more. He cast his attention over to where the agent sat on the floor, not making any attempt to look up from her position on the floor. Her legs were drawn up to her chest, her arms wrapped around them as if there was some solace to be found in such a pose. As if this position would offer some form of protection from everything she knew was to come.

"No hello?" He watched for a reaction but was still greeted with silence. "Here I was coming to share something with you." As he stood looking at the woman before him, he briefly wondered if he would be able to get any further response from her or if she had given up and resigned herself to meeting her end here in this room. "I have a little video I thought you might enjoy and you don't even have the manners to look at me."

He walked closer to where she sat, looking for any form of reaction. When he received none, he placed the laptop on the floor beside her. "Don't say I never give you anything."

She waited until she heard the footsteps retreat from the room and the click of the door closing once more before she moved. Her head rose slowly from her knees, the tracks from her tears still evident on her cheeks. Her eyes turned to the laptop sitting beside her.

Part of her wanted to return to the sanctuary of her thoughts. To the images of the woman who had made her life that much brighter from the moment she entered it. The looks and the touches they had shared. Yet part of her needed to know what had happened. She knew that the video contained on that computer would quite possibly destroy the last fragments of herself that she had managed to keep from breaking.

She had to know, had to see the fate of the one person she had been fighting for. Slowly she reached her hand out and opened the laptop screen. The video player was already open. She could feel her hand shake as she moved the cursor over to the play button. She clicked it once and watched as the video began to play.

As soon as the image appeared on the screen she felt a sob escape her body, fresh tears falling once more. Her hand reached out to touch the face of the one person that had given her the strength to carry on. As she watched the video play, she felt her heart shatter once more at the look in her eyes. She knew that her memories would no longer provide her with peace as every time she tried to picture that face, it would be filled with the images now burned into her mind.


	14. Chapter 14

Disclaimer: I don't own them

AN: Thank you to all those who have reviewed, they are much appreciated and keep me writing. Apologies for the delay in posting this part…Time was a bit short past couple of weeks. I hope this answers some of your questions. Enjoy :o)

Chapter 14

Emily sat on the cold concrete floor, part of her was aware that she should be trying to find a way out of this place yet she couldn't bring herself to move. She hadn't moved from the place she had fallen to her knees as Foyet spoke. All the images of JJ kept flooding her mind. The things she should have said or done differently. The fact that the last promise she had made to the blonde was going to be broken as she met her fate in this dark room.

* * *

Garcia looked up at the three men as they entered the conference room. One glance was enough to know that they weren't coming with good news. Hotch's face was his usual mask yet when she looked at his eyes, there was a sadness contained within them. Turning to Rossi next she could see the regret in his expression. Finally she turned to the one person she hoped would be able to provide her with some form of comfort no matter what the situation. As her eyes met Morgan's she could feel now all too familiar sting of impending tears. The look that Morgan gave her was of such hopelessness and sorrow that she knew whatever words he uttered would not bring her any comfort. She opened her mouth to speak, to ask them just to tell her what had happened but no words would form.

Morgan stepped across the room, closing the distance between them before kneeling down in front of the analyst. He took her hand in his, hoping that one small gesture would offer some form of support before he spoke. As soon as he had her hand in his, he watched as a single tear slipped down her cheek. That one sight was enough to make him fight back his own emotions. "Penelope…"

As soon as she heard him use her name rather than a nickname or other affectionate term, she knew that the news was bad. Meeting his eyes, she willed him to continue, knowing that her words were lost at that time.

Morgan took a steadying breath before continuing. "It wasn't JJ." He saw the relief flood his friends face. Yet it was rapidly replaced by the realisation that there was one person missing from the room.

"Where's Emily?" Her heart sank at the way Morgan dropped his gaze from hers at that one question. She dreaded the answer she was about to receive.

"We don't know. We think Foyet has her." As soon as he had spoken the words he wished that he hadn't. He saw Garcia shake her head, not wanting to believe that they had lost a second member of their family to the same unsub. The tears were now freely flowing down her face. As she looked into his eyes, the look of despair was clear.

"I can't." Garcia paused sucking in a couple of shaky breaths as she tried to steady her voice. "I can't watch him do that to Emily as well. I can't see him break her. I can't listen as she…" Her voice trailed off but the sentence didn't need finishing. They were all very aware of what the likely outcome of this situation would be. They had listened to the fate of one of their team, their family already. None of them would be able to shake the sounds of JJ's screams or the sudden silence after the gunshot. They would be the sounds that haunted their dreams. To have to see or hear a similar fate befall Emily too…None of them were sure they would be able to come through such an experience.

There was a silence in the room, broken only by the feint sounds of Garcia's hitched breathing. It was Rossi who broke the silence. "We have to find him before that." He saw as all the eyes in the room turned to him. "Reid…Use the location of the body in your geographical profile. He might have set this up to get Emily but he also gave us our third point."

Reid saw the look of determination in the older man's features and stood from his seat turning to the map. He added the new location onto the board. He took a different pen into his hand and stood for a moment before shading in a circle on the map. He froze once he had finished. Mentally rechecking all of his previous calculations and distances drawn on the map. As he turned to face the rest of the team, they saw the spark of hope in his eyes. "We have an area." He pointed to an area of the map shaded by all three colours.

"Are you sure?" Hotch asked, not wanted to raise the hopes of his team unless they were very sure about the possibility of finding the man.

"I used the time of his last contact to give an estimate of maximum distance travelled taking into account traffic patterns and the time required to set the trap. That means…"

"Reid…Are you sure?" Morgan interrupted the young man from his long explanation, needing a succinct answer.

"Yes, I'm sure. He's in this area."

"Garcia, what's in that area?"

The mood in the room had changed from one of defeat to having a tiny glimmer of hope. Garcia pushed herself to focus once more on finding her friend. Typing on her laptop she pulled up the information on the area in question. "Mainly residential and a few small businesses." Looking at the team she continued, "I need more to narrow it down. Something, a feature , an age, a style."

"Pull up the videos again. Maybe there is something that will give us a clue." Hotch ordered.

* * *

As the door to the room opened once more, she stared straight at Foyet. Refusing to let him believe he had won. She had made a promise to JJ and she was going to do everything within her power to keep that promise.

"Good evening once again Agent Prentiss. I hope you didn't miss me too much." A cold smile spread across his face as he regarded the look the agent gave him. He stepped across the room, being sure to come to a stop before he was within her reach. "I thought we should have a little conversation. You see I'm not an unreasonable man."

Emily clenched her jaw to stop the comments threatening to spill from her lips at his words. She needed to hear what he had to say and interrupting him would not help at this point.

"I'd like to offer you a deal."

"Whatever happened to not making a deal with the devil?" Her words held the contempt she felt for him.

"Let me ask you something first. How does it make you feel to know you failed to get here sooner? I only ask because according to your profile I don't feel emotions like a normal person. So tell me…How did it make you feel when you heard Agent Jareau accept her fate?" He watched as Emily clenched her fists. "I felt sad." He saw her eyes snap up to his. "I felt sad that she wasn't going to fight anymore. Is that how you felt?"

"The sadness you felt over her willingness to stop fighting was simply because you prefer it when they fight." Her eyes were burning with anger at the mere suggestion that he shared any feeling with her.

"Perhaps. Tell me then…How did it make you feel as she screamed? Can you still hear those screams?" He looked at her and smiled slowly as he spoke. "I can still hear them. They make me all… tingly."

Emily launched at him once more, restraints forgotten as she struggled to break them and reach him. He stood from his crouched position to be at an eye level with her. "Guess what I feel is different after all."

He stood at watched as the brunette agent fought to get to him. Waiting until the exhaustion took over and she slumped back, her chest heaving as she drew in rapid breaths. "Now my offer…You can save one life only." He reached into his pocket and retrieved a familiar stack of envelopes. He saw the recognition on the brunette's face. "Pick one name from here and you can remove them from my game. You get to destroy the envelope without me seeing the name and they are safe. They will be the one person who will live knowing the fate of the rest of you hangs in the balance." He retrieved a gun from his waistband and pointed it at the brunette. "I'm going to undo your restraints so you can pick one without me seeing the name. Try anything and it all ends here with a single bullet." He waited for a moment to make sure she had understood before stepping behind her and undoing the restraints. Keeping the gun pointed at her, he stepped back to face her. He dropped the envelopes on the floor before her and then stepped back towards the door. "Pick the person you want to save."

Emily stared at Foyet. She wanted nothing more than to charge at him, to take her chances with getting to him before he could pull the trigger. Yet she knew that she wouldn't make it. She slowly lowered herself to a crouching position and picked up the envelopes. She stepped away from him and turned her back on him to ensure he couldn't see any names. As she looked through the names, she saw her letter to JJ. She felt the familiar anger flare up inside her as she turned to face him. "Is this a joke?" She held up the envelope with JJ's name on it, advancing towards him.

He smiled at her. "That's close enough." He waited until the brunette had come to a stop before him. "I guess there was more than one envelope with her name on it."

Emily stared at him a moment more before returning across the room. She picked the envelope from the pile of the one person she wanted to spare. She checked through them to ensure there were no others with that name. Turning back to Foyet she slipped the envelope into her pocket before handing the rest back to him.

Foyet took the envelopes and scanned the names. "You kept two." He stated.

"You don't need JJ's anymore."

"You can only keep one envelope. That was the deal." He watched as Emily took one last look at the envelope still in her hand before throwing it back at him. Foyet bent down and picked up the fallen paper, reading the name. He slipped the remaining letters back into his pocket before turning his attention back to the brunette. "Oh Agent Prentiss?" He waited until she looked up at him. "I guess Agent Jareau didn't mean as much to you as you meant to her." Seeing the anger return at his denial of her feelings he continued. "She was willing to give up her life for yours and yet when I gave you the chance to save her, you chose someone else."

Emily heard the words and began to feel her control slipping. The feeling of dread spreading through every part of her body. "You already killed her." Even to her own ears, her voice sounded as if it was pleading with him to confirm the statement.

He smiled back at her. "I'm not the devil Agent Prentiss. I kept my word." Seeing the disbelief still evident in her dark eyes he continued. "Can you imagine what she will feel when I tell her you didn't choose to save her? When I tell her she could have been going back to her son but you picked someone else. Do you think she'll ever forgive you for that?"

The words cut through the haze Emily found herself in. The thought of JJ still being alive somewhere in that same building spurred her on. She couldn't let him walk out knowing that it might be to kill the blonde. She made her decision in that second and lunged forwards toward him. Hoping that she could reach him before he pulled the trigger. Hoping that his attention had been focused elsewhere.

* * *

JJ's head snapped up at the sound of a gunshot, her eyes wide in panic. She felt her breathing rate increase and her heart pound in her chest. She forced herself to her feet and numbly walked over to the locked door. Pressing her ear to the wooden surface, hoping for a sound that would stop the images that flooded her consciousness. She closed her eyes as she listened, quietly whispering her own prayer to anyone that would listen. "Please not Em. Please not Em."

She heard a door slam shut followed by another sound, a familiar sound…Footsteps. Footsteps coming towards the door she stood pressed against. JJ's eyes snapped open and she stepped away from the door. Emily or Foyet? Someone was on the other side of the door, she just didn't know who. She unconsciously held her breath as she waited for the door to open. As she waited for either her salvation or destruction.


	15. Chapter 15

Disclaimer: They aren't mine.

AN: Big thanks to all those who reviewed, they really do get me to write faster. Enjoy :o)

Chapter 15

JJ could feel her heart pounding against her rib cage. Her mind racing as to the two possibilities of who was on the other side of the door. If it was Emily then this nightmare was over and nobody else would be made to suffer. If it was Foyet…JJ felt herself swallow the lump that had formed in her throat at what that would mean. If Foyet was there then Emily…The blonde stopped that thought before it could reach it's completion as the outcome of that scenario was too much to bear.

She heard the sound of metal sliding against metal as a bolt was drawn back. She considered rushing through the door as soon as it began to open but she couldn't. If it was Emily then she couldn't risk injuring the other woman. If it was Foyet, she couldn't just leave without knowing what had happened to the brunette. She stepped into the shadows beside the doorway hoping that they would provide her with some form of cover until she saw who it was. There were no other options available to her in the small space at the top of the wooden steps. She could feel the moisture on her hands as the tension built inside her. As the door began to open, she felt her breath catch. The only sound remaining was the quiet creak of the hinges and her blood rushing through her ears with every beat of her heart.

* * *

Garcia had pulled up all of the video links and played them repeatedly. She had enhanced every angle in search of something that could narrow down their hunt.

"Ok, we know it is somewhere with a basement." Morgan reiterated what they knew so far.

"Still leaves us with a lot of possibilities sugar. Unless you plan to go in there and search them all, we still need more." As time went on, the team was considering exactly that. All of them becoming very aware of the fact that the longer they waited before finding Emily, the more unlikely it was that they would be bringing her home alive.

"It would be somewhere isolated. The screaming and the gunshot would have attracted attention of the neighbours if they could hear." Rossi commented.

"He had been planning this for a while. He could have soundproofed the room he had JJ in." Hotch spoke without considering his words. It was only at the quiet sound from Garcia that he realised he had spoken about JJ in the past tense.

"Ok, we have a timescale as we know when he was in Boston. Narrow it down to any properties that have been rented, bought or became empty in that time frame." Rossi hoped that giving Garcia a new search to carry out would help to focus her on the current task and distract her from Hotch's slip.

Garcia tapped away on the keyboard in front of her before pulling up a list. "9 possibilities." She looked up hoping that it was enough.

Hotch met Rossi's gaze. "Garcia, print the list. Rossi, contact the local PD. We're going to need 3 teams of officers." Taking the list he was offered, Hotch glanced down at the addresses. Tearing the sheet into 3 sections he handed one to Morgan, a second to Rossi and kept the third one himself. "We lead a team each and search the 3 addresses on the list." Hotch knew that it went against all the FBI protocols but he decided that they had all lost enough. He wasn't going to sit back and just wait until Foyet killed another of his agents.

* * *

JJ watched as the door opened further. Her hiding place preventing her from seeing who was standing on the other side. She could see the light streaming through into the previously dimly illuminated room. She blinked rapidly to adjust her eyes to the new light so that as soon as the person stepped through into the room she would be able to see their identity.

* * *

Hotch arrived at the first house and divided his team up. He stood at the front door. Garcia's checks had revealed this address as empty. He gave the order and as he kicked open the front door, one of the local officers entered through the back. They moved through the house, checking every room for any signs of recent habitation.

Hotch reached the door to the basement and stopped, waiting for the other officers to be in position. He reached his hand out and grasped the handle. He gently tried to turn it and found it to be unlocked. The door swung open and he moved in, closely followed by the other officers. As soon as he cast his torch around the room, he knew they were at the wrong address. "All clear." Placing his gun back into its holster he listed his mic to his mouth. "All clear, return to the vehicles." He checked his watch and hoped that either Morgan or Rossi had better luck than him.

* * *

The door stood open, a shadow being cast onto the steps from the figure standing just out of sight. She wished the floor was flat to allow her to allow her to make out the shape of the shadow. The steps distorted it making it impossible to tell if it was Foyet. She guessed that the person was scanning the now visible room for her. Part of her wanted to speak, to voice the question she desperately needed answered. Yet the fear that it was not Emily standing only a metre from her kept her silent.

* * *

Morgan watched as the officers filtered into their positions. Accoridng to Garcia's search, the house had been rented out a couple of months ago by a Tyler Roe. Knowing that without a warrant he couldn't bust down the door, he had to resort to more diplomatic methods. He heard the affirmation that the other officers were in position through his earpiece. Raising his hand he knocked on the door, his hand positioned in easy reach of his gun.

He heard the footsteps approach the door and then waited as the door swung open. The face that greeted him matched with the drivers license Garcia had sent to his PDA. "Mr Roe?" Seeing the nod from the man he continued. "I'm Agent Morgan with the FBI. Do you live here alone?"

"Yes. What's the problem?"

"Would you mind if I came in and had a look around?" Morgan knew he was pushing his luck. Nothing was flashing about this guy but he had to be sure. Foyet had never worked with an partner before but in light of the recent changes in behaviour, he wasn't risking overlooking something.

"I do mind if you don't tell me why you want to look around my house." The man fixed the agent with a look that made it very clear he was not going to back down.

"Sir, there I a fugitive in the area and we are searching the addresses he could be hiding in."

"There is no fugitive hiding in my house." He went to close the door but was stopped by Morgan's hand against the surface.

"Sir please. This man is a known murderer and he has kidnapped two FBI agents. We just need to be sure so we can move on to the next address." Morgan's eyes pleaded with the older man to allow him access. The man searched Morgan's gaze for a moment before stepping back and gesturing the agent in. "Thank you."

Morgan moved through the house quickly. As soon as he was certain there was nobody else in the building, he thanked the man and made his way back to the waiting cars.

* * *

She heard the quiet sound of someone stepping forward quietly and then the figure came into view. JJ felt her heart stop as she focused on the person before her.

* * *

Rossi peered through the window near the front door into the dark house. The house had been purchased by a property developer according to the information Garcia had sent him. They had knocked on the door but received no reply. Rossi moved to the next window and looked in. Again the darkness very little was revealed. He could feel his frustration building. Part of him just wanted to kick the door open, warrant or no warrant. It was only when one of the officers reached the back yard that a call through the radio gave him hope. He rushed around the building to the cellar door. Sure enough, as the officer had said, there were no bolts or locks on the door. He knew that this no doubt meant this wasn't the right address but at least they could gain access without forcing their way in.

Rossi pulled open the door and followed the officers into the basement. As soon as their torches scanned the area, it was clear that nobody lived in the house. Stepping back out into the light he recalled the team and moved on to the second location on his list.

* * *

JJ tried to make her voice work but no sound would come out. She stared at the figure before her in shock. Part of her was unsure that what she was seeing was real, wondering if it was some kind of stress induced illusion. It was only when the figure turned towards her that she started to believe what she was seeing. She saw the shock on the brunette's face and then relief flooded her features.

"Jayj?" Her voice was so quiet, almost disbelieving in its tone.

JJ just nodded, still not able to move or formulate words. She watched as Emily reached her hand out towards her. It all seemed to be happening so slowly. Then she felt the contact of Emily's skin on her cheek and it was like someone had flicked a switch and everything was back to normal again. She leant into the hand and allowed her eyes to drift shut for a moment. She was vaguely aware of tears slipping out from under her closed lids only to be gently wiped away by the brunette's thumb. "Tell me I'm not hallucinating?" Her voice pleaded. She didn't want to open her eyes if it was all a trick of her mind.

Emily looked at the blonde woman for a moment before stepping closer, moving their bodies within inches of one another. She could feel the heat radiating from the woman before her. Being mindful of the injuries she knew and suspected the younger woman had, she slipped her arms around the body before her, drawing her close. "No hallucinations. I've got you Jayj." She placed a gentle kiss against the blonde's forehead after she spoke. She felt the blonde's arms slide around her body, pulling her closer.

Suddenly, the blonde stepped away from the brunette, her eyes wide. "Foyet." The one word was enough for Emily to know what she was thinking.

"Dead." The images flashed back in her mind.

"_Can you imagine what she will feel when I tell her you didn't choose to save her? When I tell her she could have been going back to her son but you picked someone else. Do you think she'll ever forgive you for that?" _

_Emily heard the words clearly. Each one cutting through the fog that had descended around her mind, cutting her deeply. She saw the gun in his hand and made her decision. If there was even the tiniest chance that JJ was still alive she would not let Foyet out of the room without a fight. She lunged forwards and caught the hand with the gun before he could pull the trigger. _

_His eyes had widened in shock before they narrowed in anger. The two struggled against each other, each trying to win control of the gun. Foyet managed to point the gun towards the brunette. He watched as the barrel came level with her chest and smiled. "Too bad." Before he could pull the trigger Emily delivered a well placed kick. His grip on the gun loosened enough for her to grab it from his hand. _

_She pointed the gun at him, her breathing fast from the battle for control. He met her gaze before speaking. "Are you going to kill me Agent Prentiss? An unarmed man on his knees. Are you really a cold blooded killer? Are you really like me?" _

_Emily stood looking at him for a moment, torn about her decision. She remembered asking Rossi what made them so different from the unsubs they hunted. "I'm not like you. You kill people for your own satisfaction." He smiled at her confident in the knowledge that she wasn't going to pull the trigger. "I kill people to protect those I love." She saw his eyes widen for a second as her meaning sank in and then she pulled the trigger. She watched his body slump to the floor before turning and leaving the room. _

"Take me home?" JJ asked, feeling all of the adrenaline that had been rushing through her body begin to fade in the knowledge that Foyet was no longer a threat. JJ followed the brunette out of the room that had been her prison. She didn't look back as she stepped through the door. The two agents made their way along the empty hallway towards the door that would lead them out of the nightmare.

Emily reached out to the door handle but before her hand made contact, the sound of a voice rang through the house. "Hold it."

The two women spun around to the sound of the voice simultaneously. Each needing to confirm what their ears told them. As soon as they were facing the voice they felt their stomach's drop. Standing a few feet away from them was Foyet, the gun raised and pointed squarely at them.

"You're dead." Emily managed. The confusion evident on her face.

Foyet smiled. "Blanks Agent Prentiss." Still smiling he pulled the trigger and a single gunshot sounded in the house. "Well, one blank anyway." He watched as the brunette agent fell to the ground before turning his attention back to the blonde.


	16. Chapter 16

Disclaimer: Not mine unfortunately.

AN: First of all a big thank you to all those who reviewed my last chapter. Unfortunately I'm back at work tomorrow so unless the snow from up north arrives, my writing time will be a bit more limited so my next update might be a bit slower. Enjoy :o)

Chapter 16

JJ broke her focus away from the man before her and looked down to where the brunette had fallen. She could see the blood slowly spreading out from the single wound. She watched the way the crimson stain seeped into previously untouched fabric.

"Would you look at that." JJ's eyes snapped back to Foyet. He took a couple of steps closer as he spoke. "Isn't it funny that something so small can have such power." He stepped behind the blonde, leaning in close over her shoulder. "One little bullet can be used to either incapacitate…" He slid the barrel of the gun across her shoulder. He continued the path across her skin, up her neck before it came to rest against her temple. "Or kill." He paused for a moment as he felt an involuntary shiver run through the body before him. "All it comes down to is one simple choice. A decision of where to point before you pull the trigger." His voice had dropped to almost a whisper, his breath brushing her ear as he spoke. "Then…BANG." He watched the blonde jump at his raised voice for the last word, a cruel smile spreading across his lips.

JJ stared down into deep brown eyes, hoping to find something to give her hope. Something to give her a reason to keep fighting when it felt as if the battle was already over.

"She made a choice." He gestured to the fallen agent. "She picked the one person who would be safe." JJ's vision had started to blur from the unfallen tears as she listened to his words. Foyet stared down at the brunette for a moment before whispering into JJ's ear. "It wasn't you." JJ felt the tears fall as her heart and her hope shattered.

* * *

Morgan slammed the brakes onto the SUV and the tyres came to a screeching halt outside the second location on his list. He glanced at the clock on the dash as he threw the door open. He was all too aware of how much time had passed between Emily going missing and the present. All too aware of just how much damage someone could inflict on another in a short space of time.

He approached the door of the house and reached for his radio. "In position?" He waited for those few seconds until a voice came through the comm.

"Ready sir."

"On my mark." He silently offered a prayer, remembering the last time he had actually prayed. He just hoped that someone was listening and would bring his friends home safely. "Now." With that one word, the front and back doors burst open as the officers entered the building. Moving from room to room in their search.

"Clear." One of the officers searching the upstairs called out.

Morgan felt his own hope fading once more as the word he had come to hate filtered into his consciousness over the comm. "Basement is clear." Morgan allowed his eyes to drift shut for a moment as he tried to keep his emotions in check.

"Let's move. One more location." Even to his own ears his voice sounded almost defeated. His hope fading fast.

* * *

JJ hissed in pain as he threw her to the concrete floor, her knee began throbbing instantly from the contact with the cold surface. Her head fell forwards as she tried to sum up the energy to raise herself up from her hands and knees. She heard his footsteps echo around the room. The words of moments before playing through her mind on a continual loop.

"Sit up Agent. You can't leave us yet…There's so much left to experience." His voice held an edge that froze JJ to her core.

JJ forced herself to move to look behind her, to the source of the voice. The sight that greeted her sent a wave of nausea crashing through her body. Foyet's face held no emotion. It was the sheer emptiness in that look that affected JJ the most. It was in that moment that she truly saw the evil that lay beneath the surface of every unsub they had encountered. She knew that was the look that all the victims they had been too late to save had witnessed as their final sight. As she stared at him, she knew that would be her fate too.

* * *

Hotch burst through the door, hearing the familiar crash of a door frame cracking from the rear of the house. The second he cast his gaze around the room before him, he knew they had the wrong address again. The post was piled up on the mat and the house had a damp smell signalling it had been closed for a long while. He felt his hope fade as he registered these signs. Yet the team still searched the house unwilling to leave without being certain the two agents were not present.

* * *

JJ pushed herself up onto her knees, ignoring the ache that settled into her joint as soon as pressure was applied. She let her eyes drift shut for a moment as she tried to mentally prepare herself for what was to come. As she opened her eyes once more she clenched her jaw and pushed herself up from the floor. If there was one thing she was certain of, it was that she wouldn't give him the satisfaction of staying on her knees. She squared her shoulders as best she could, vaguely aware of the line of warmth trickling down her back from the cut on her shoulder which had obviously reopened.

"Still got some fight left Agent Jareau?" Foyet met her gaze. He stood from his crouching position and smiled. "It's always much more enjoyable when they fight back." He stepped closer to the blonde. "Are you going to fight back Agent Jareau?" When met with silence he raised an eyebrow. "I'd make it quicker if you just gave up. Not too quick you understand but quicker." He could see her gaze flicker away from his and smiled. He took another step closer and then waited.

"I never stopped." She whispered before turning her attention back to the man before her.

He met her blue eyes and tilted his head to the side upon seeing the steel in her look. He felt the first punch that she landed followed by another. It was after the third strike that he ran at her, his body making contact with hers and driving her back into the wall. She felt fresh pain radiating from her existing wounds as the air was knocked out of her lungs by the force of his body colliding with hers. In the moment that she was still stunned by the impact, he delivered a swift punch to her ribs. The sound of bone cracking was audible. JJ bent double as she struggled to breathe, feeling her vision start to grey out.

Foyet stepped back for a moment before spitting blood from his mouth. As his hand moved away after wiping his mouth with the back of it, a smile was revealed. "I want to hear you scream." He grabbed her by her neck, forcing her to stand upright as he held her against the wall.

JJ felt a wave of nausea rush through her as the movement jarred her broken ribs.

Foyet placed his hand over the wound in her shoulder and then squeezed.

JJ could feel the wound tear open further. She bit down on her lip to stop from crying out. She was vaguely aware of the taste of blood in her mouth. Her mind filling in for her that she must have bitten through her own lip.

"I want to hear you beg for it to stop."

JJ kicked her leg out and made contact with his groin. Foyet's grip loosened from around her neck enough for her to shake his arm off. She stepped away from him, taking shallow breaths but still acutely aware of the pain shooting through her body from her ribs with every breath, every movement. She had only one destination in mind.

* * *

Rossi's team had arrived at the second location. The front yard was littered with children's toys making him doubt that the address would reveal Foyet or the missing agents. He walked through the gate into the yard and rang the bell. It was only a moment before a young child answered the door, the girl could have been no more than 7 years old.

"Is your mommy or daddy home?" He asked the child who was staring at the gun that was very obvious in his holster.

"Mom…There's a man with a gun at the door." The child vanished back into the house and seconds later a woman appeared, the look of fear on her face replaced by concern as she saw the badge. "Ma'am, I'm Agent Rossi with the FBI. He held out a picture of Foyet to the woman. "Have you seen this man?"

The woman looked down at the picture before shaking her head.

"Thank you for your time." Rossi turned and left, calling the other officers back to the vehicles. The last location held the last remains of his hope.

* * *

JJ was only a couple of steps away when she found herself knocked to her knees once more. Before she had a chance to move, she felt his foot connect with her already broken ribs. This time she couldn't stop the cry of pain escaping her lips. She tried to move to get up but found herself collapsing back against the floor from the pain. She tried to suck in a breath to steady herself for another attempt but as soon as she did, her body was wracked by a coughing fit leaving her gasping for air. She felt something at the corner of her mouth and instinctively reached up to wipe it away. As her fingers came away, they were stained with the red of blood. Before she had a chance to fully comprehend the meaning of that, she heard a sound.

Foyet's attention shifted from the blonde agent now lying on the floor to the source of the sound.

JJ forced herself to look at Foyet and saw the smile spread across his face once more. "We're not done yet. I'll be right back." JJ tried to push herself up but felt herself nearly pass out. She felt the tears slipping down her cheeks as she felt powerless to do anything but watch.

Foyet stepped across the room before coming to a stop at the source of the sound.

* * *

"I never stopped."

It had been the sound of that one phrase that had cleared the fog from her mind and allowed her eyes to focus once more on the woman before her. As she met the steady gaze of those blue eyes, she understood the meaning. It wasn't a reply to Foyet. It was for her. It was one phrase that held two meanings. The look in those blue eyes let her know just how true it was. The blonde before her had never stopped loving her and that she wasn't going to stop fighting.

Emily tried to open her mouth to reply but before she could, it had begun. She had watched as the punches had been delivered. She listened as the bone cracked. She had been forcing herself to get up since the first strike yet the blood she had lost made her limbs feel like lead weights. It was only when she'd seen the blood trickle from the side of JJ's mouth that she had somehow found the strength to make her limbs obey her. She forced herself back to her feet.

"Leave her." Her voice wasn't as strong as she would have liked. It was enough though. Foyet had turned to look at her and she saw the smile spreading across his lips. She'd seen JJ try to push herself up as he made his way towards her. As she saw the tears making their way down the blonde's cheeks, Emily felt her heart break once more. As she looked into blue eyes, she knew there was one thing she had to do before she faced her fate. She could feel Foyet getting closer but in that moment, all she could see was JJ. She felt the warmth of her own tears as she looked at the younger woman and mouthed 'I love you' to her. Emily saw JJ's eyes follow her lips and saw the understanding on her features. She knew Foyet was close yet she didn't want her last vision to be of him. She didn't want to see the pain in the blonde's face as Foyet ended her life. Instead, she closed her eyes safe in the knowledge that she had at least told JJ how she felt before allowing the darkness to be her solace.


	17. Chapter 17

Disclaimer: I don't own them.

AN: Ok, I got my snow day today so here's the next chapter. Thanks to all those who commented on my last one and those who wished for snow ;o). Enjoy :o)

Chapter 17

JJ watched Foyet's retreating figure as he left her and then she saw where he was heading. Her eyes fell upon the brunette who had managed to stand. The effort it had taken was clearly written on her features. The way her lips were pressed tightly together in a line as the brunette tried to hide the pain from the approaching man. JJ wanted to say or do something but her body wouldn't respond. She tried to push herself up from the floor but she collapsed back as a new wave of pain rushed through her body from the small motion moving broken bones and tearing cuts. She could feel the tears slipping down her cheeks as she watched the scene unfold.

The blonde turned her attention to meet brown eyes. For the first time, she saw the unguarded Emily Prentiss. No longer were there any walls hiding her feelings. In that moment, Emily had let everything drop and what JJ saw made her realise that all her doubts about whether the brunette felt the same were unfounded. She saw the tears start to fall from those brown eyes and knew Emily was accepting her fate. She saw Emily's lips move silently, her eyes followed the movement of three words she had longed to hear from the older woman, 'I love you'. She then watched as her view of those deep brown eyes and all the emotion that Emily had let show were hidden once more as her eyelids closed.

* * *

Rossi pounded on the door of the house. There was meant to be an occupant to this one but there was no sign of anybody. They had checked all around the perimeter and found no signs of any inhabitants. He checked his watch before making the decision to go in. Just as he was about to give the order to enter the building, headlights illuminated the front of the property. He raised his hand to shield his eyes from the light. The headlights were switched off and then the sound of the car door opening could be heard.

"Mr Harris?" He called from his place on the step. His hand rested on his gun, ready for any sudden moves by the new arrival.

"Yes. Who are you?"

"Agent Rossi with the FBI." Rossi made his way down the steps slowly, giving his eyes time to adjust to the dimmer light by the car. He watched as the man stepped around in front of the vehicle. As soon as he saw the man, he knew that his final address was not the one that held the agents.

* * *

"Leave her?" Foyet's voice held an edge of mocking. "You made the choice Agent Prentiss. You could have saved her. All you had to do was pick her name and yet you didn't."

"I thought she was already dead." Emily's voice was so quiet that had Foyet not been so close, he would have missed it.

"Well, don't worry. She will be soon." He glanced over at the blonde agent still lying on the floor and smiled. "I'd guess that even if I did nothing, she'd still die." He paused for a moment. "Maybe that's what I'll do. Just sit back and watch. I'm sure I have the time to watch as she slips further away until that last moment. Do you know the one I'm talking about? Where the breathing changes, the heart rate slows…" Emily lunged towards him trying to grab the gun from his waistband as she went. Foyet stepped to one side, avoiding her contact and then kicked her in the back as she stumbled, sending her crashing to the floor. Foyet tutted at her in a disapproving manner. "Trying to get this Agent Prentiss?" He held the gun up before placing it on the chair in the corner of the room. "If you can get it, then you can end this. You might even be lucky and be able to get help here before it's too late. Unlikely but possible." He stepped closer to the brunette, who was trying to push herself up from the floor. He stepped onto her back and pressed down over the gunshot wound, sending the agent crashing back to the ground with a swallowed gasp of pain. "Is she worth it? Worth putting yourself through all this when you are probably too late anyway?" He moved his foot and crouched down beside her. He moved the hair that had fallen over her face back, noticing the way she flinched away from his touch. "Just stop fighting and watch the inevitable. If you do then I'll let you live. I'll call in the address and all you have to do is hold on until they get here. All you have to do is stop fighting."

He watched as the brunette pushed herself up from the floor, her arms shaking from the exertion. He saw her clench her jaw before pushing back to a kneeling position, her eyes tightly closed as she fought to ignore the pain. He saw her eyes open once more and watched as they were turned to meet his. "No." The one word she spoke betrayed the weakness she was feeling, her voice held no strength but her conviction was clear.

"Too bad."

* * *

Morgan checked the list in his hand. The building was vacant. He waited for the team to get into position before he could give the signal to enter. Just as he was about to give the order, the sound of gunshots rang out through the air. The next few moments seemed to happen in slow motion. He gave the order and the team burst through both doors simultaneously. As soon as he stepped into the house, he noticed the blood on the floor. He made his way to the door that led to the basement, gun at the ready. Opening the door, he scanned the area with his torch.

"FBI…Come out with your hands above your head." He waited while trying to see into the darkness below. He could hear sounds and then one word made his decision for him.

"Morgan." The voice was quiet but it was enough.

Morgan descended the stairs, keeping his back to the wall as his torch illuminated part of the room. As he proceeded further into the room, his eyes fell on a sight that made him catch his breath. Lying on the floor of the basement were three figures. He made his way over to Foyet first. As he glanced down, he could see the blood on his shirt from the gunshot wounds to his back, he counted seven as he knelt down beside the man. He extended his arm and checked for a pulse. The relief that washed through him as he felt none couldn't be ignored.

The relief was short lived as his focused shifted to the two other figures on the floor. "Get the paramedics now!" He shouted to the other officers. Not wanting to waste a second in them getting to the scene if there was any hope for his friends.

He stood and took the couple of steps over to where they lay. His eyes fell to their intertwined hands. He crouched down beside them and repeated his earlier action and checked for a pulse on both women.

* * *

The sky above was a dark grey, the sun having departed on the day that was shrouded in sadness. The umbrellas sheltered the assembled group from the rain that fell steadily from the sky.

"We are here to mark the close of human life here on earth. We come together to not only express our grief at the loss but also to give thanks for the life that has now completed its journey in this world."

The words seemed to fade against the sound of the rain as it splashed onto the ground. Garcia watched as the water slowly trailed down the edge of the cherry wood casket, mirroring the tears she knew were falling steadily down her face. Tears for all that had been lost due to Foyet.

There wasn't a person standing in the quiet cemetery that hadn't had their lives changed by the events of the previous few days. Knowing what had happened and that they had all been powerless to prevent it. Knowing that they had been too late to stop Foyet before he had done irreparable damage to the team.

She listened to the words that were spoken, knowing they were designed to offer some semblance of peace to the survivors and yet she just couldn't find peace from what had happened. The sounds and images forever burned into her memory. The nightmares that had started as soon as she had finally been able to close her eyes and sleep. From the look of the other members of the team, it was clear that they had all been suffering the same fate. The dark circles and tired looks they all shared a sign of the turmoil they were all trying to reconcile. She watched as Hotch made his way to stand beside the priest.

"You can shed tears that she is gone or you can smile because she has lived. You can close your eyes and pray that she will come back or you can open your eyes and see all that she has left. Your heart can be empty because you can't see her or you can be full of the love that you shared. You can turn your back on tomorrow and live yesterday or you can be happy for tomorrow because of yesterday. You can remember her and only that she is gone or you can cherish her memory and let it live on. You can cry and close your mind, be empty and turn your back or you can do what she would want: smile, open your eyes, love and go on."

Finally each member of the team stepped over to the coffin and placed a single long stem rose onto the coffin, each rose a different colour. It had been Garcia's suggestion since to have all white seemed wrong for someone who had been such a bright person in life. Now as she looked at the scattering of colour set against the dark wood, she knew that it wasn't just a funeral for the fallen but also for what each of them had lost as a result. She placed her rose on the surface before turning to join the others.

"You ok baby girl?" Morgan asked her as she rejoined them.

She looked at the dark agent and could see the concern in his gaze. "I'd be lying if I said yes." Seeing he was about to speak she placed a hand gently on his arm to stop him. "You can't do anything to help sugar. So let's just pretend that you didn't ask that question and focus on getting through the day."

Morgan nodded. He knew that there were times that no amount of words could possibly bring an end to the pain. He placed his hand over hers as they made their way back to the car. The drive to the bar was quiet. Rossi was focused on driving. The silence was broken by Reid's quiet voice. "Pathetic fallacy."

"Say what kid?" Morgan asked looking towards the young man.

"When the weather reflects the mood of the people. It's called a pathetic fallacy." He was quiet for a moment. "Do you think that when it stops raining, we will be able to see a way through this?"

"I hope so Reid." Morgan watched as the young man nodded and then turned his attention back out of the window. His hoped they would all be able to find a way through although part of him had to question if they would ever be the same.

* * *

**AN: Yes, I'm evil. However…Since I very much doubt I'm either a) digging my car out or b) walking to a major road and trying to catch a lift to work…I'll try to get another chapter done tomorrow/this weekend. Reviews make me write faster. :op**


	18. Chapter 18

Disclaimer: Still not mine.

AN: Thank you to all those who reviewed my last chapter and sent wishes of more snow. Though it does look like I will be back at work tomorrow. I hope this answers a few questions for you all. Remember…Reviews make me write faster. Enjoy :o)

Chapter 18

Garcia walked down the long corridor that had become so familiar in recent days. The fluorescent lights did nothing to create a comforting atmosphere. She nodded to the nurse sitting at the nurses station as she approached. "Any change?" Every time she visited, she would ask the same question. Every time she hoped she would get a different answer to the one she had heard on every occasion. Today was no different.

"I'm sorry." Garcia had become so familiar a sight to the staff that she really believed that they were sorry that they had no better news to give when asked. She just nodded her acknowledgement of the answer and stepped over to the room. She did her best to prepare herself for the sight that waited for her on the other side of the door. She opened the door and stepped into the room. She made her way across the room to take a seat in the chair that she spent more time in than her own apartment these days.

She looked over at the machines first of all, her eyes following the repeating pattern of the heart monitor for a moment. She'd spent so long watching those machines over the past few days. Initially it was almost a compulsion to watch for any changes that signalled the onset of any complications, all the while silently willing the readings to improve. Then after they had stabilised, she watched them as reassurance that her friend was still fighting.

It was only then that she glanced down at the woman connected to all the machines. Her face much paler than normal, the only colour from the slowly healing bruises. As Garcia looked at her, she felt the now familiar wave of sadness flood through her body at seeing the usually strong agent look so fragile.

Reaching her hand up, she took the hand closest to her into her own, being careful to avoid the IV. "Hey. The team send their love. Morgan told me to tell you that you need to stop slacking off and wake up already. I think he just misses you around the office. We all do. So what do you say…Are you going to grace us with your presence today?" Garcia sighed as her only response was the sound of the ventilator.

"I'll be here when you're ready." Garcia then settled into her usual routine of telling her sleeping friend about the events that had transpired since her previous visit.

* * *

"Syrup is too sticky." Garcia woke with a start when she felt someone gently shake her shoulder. She looked up to meet the amused face of one of the nurses. "Did I fall asleep?"

"Yeah. I would have left you to sleep but…" The nurses voice trailed off.

Garcia looked at her and fixed her with what she hoped was a 'you'd better tell me now and this had better be good news' glare. "Ok, tell me then. This whole waiting thing is not good for my nerves. First of all, I have only just woken up and my brain is all fuzzy right now but…" She felt a squeeze on her hand and turned to glance at her friend. "Just hold on a second, I'm trying to find out some news." She then turned back to the nurse and continued with her speech. "But if something has happened and it's bad news then…then…then…" Her voice trailed off as her mind caught up with her. She spent the next few moments just opening and closing her mouth without any sound, her eyes still fixed on the nurse. "Did I imagine that?" She watched as the nurse shook her head. Turning slowly she faced her friend and this time was greeted by eyes that were open and looking at her. She could feel the tears welling up in her eyes as she met her friend's gaze. "Am I dreaming?"

"No, I think your dream consisted of syrup for some reason." The nurse supplied. Garcia felt her cheeks flush as images of her dream flooded her mind.

She watched as her friend gestured to the tube in her throat. "When can the tube come out?"

"I'll go and get the doctor." The nurse left the room, leaving the two women together. Garcia was glad for a moment to compose herself and consider the answers to the questions she knew would follow once the tube was removed.

* * *

The doctor had been in and carried out some tests before agreeing to remove the tube. "Ok, on the count of three I'd like you to blow as I remove the tube." He watched for a moment as she blinked her agreement. "One…two…three." With that, the tube was removed. The doctor carried out a few more tests to check that everything was alright before leaving them alone.

Garcia watched as her friend tried to speak for the first time.

"What…" She took a moment to swallow a couple of times to try to get her voice working properly again. "What happened?"

Garcia considered how to answer the question. Not sure what her friend remembered and what would be news to her. "We don't know all the details. Reid and I worked out the 9 most likely locations for Foyet to be. Rossi, Hotch and Derek went out to search them. As Morgan was outside the third location, he heard gunshots. When he got to the basement Foyet was dead. You were unconscious when he arrived. The paramedics brought you to the hospital where you needed surgery." She looked into her friend's eyes to see if she was following. "You had sustained some head injuries and after the surgery you didn't wake up." Garcia paused for a moment, once more feeling the tears threatening to spill. She felt a gentle squeeze on her hand and accepted the reassurance it offered. "You've been sleeping for three days."

Garcia's words sank in as she lay there. Images of what had happened in the basement came flooding back. Her eyes drifted closed as the memories returned.

"_Too bad." Foyet's eyes turned cold. He stood from his crouching position. "Get up then." He waited for no more than a second for her to stand before drawing his leg back and delivering a sharp kick to her midsection. She felt the air rush out of her lungs at the impact, her body doubling over. "You're pathetic. Your last moments are going to be spent too weak to even try and save her." He gestured over to where JJ lay. _

_Emily managed to drag every last bit of strength back as the image of the team standing around JJ's coffin as Henry cried without his mother there to comfort him. Despite the shaking of her limbs, she pushed herself up. As she raised her gaze to meet his, he smiled. "Show me what you've got." _

_Emily knew she had to be careful to avoid further contact with the existing injuries. She could also feel how light headed and cold she was getting. All of those factors let her know that she was running out of time to do anything to at least give JJ a chance of surviving. She didn't expect to make it out herself but her whole focus was on getting the blonde out of there. She waited until Foyet went to deliver a punch and side stepped to avoid it. At the same moment, she grabbed his wrist and turned her body into his, bracing herself for the move, she lowered herself and used his momentum to flip him onto the floor. As soon as he hit the ground, Emily sank to her knees. The move having exacerbated the injuries she had sustained. She forced herself back up and glanced to where the gun lay. She managed one step before Foyet used his legs to sweep hers out from under her. Before she had the chance to move, he had moved to straddle her waist. His fists making contact with her face repeatedly as he shouted words she couldn't comprehend at her. She felt her vision fading, the sounds becoming more distant. She tried to swing at him with her remaining strength failed to have an impact. She knew that she had lost. The last words that ran through her mind were, 'I'm sorry JJ.' The haze was getting thicker in her mind now, she could feel the darkness threatening to claim her. _

_Foyet sat back when there was no resistance to his actions. He allowed his head to drop back as he drew in a few breaths. "Now you'll die down here too Agent Prentiss." _

"_So will you." _

_Foyet spun around at the sound of the voice and was surprised to see JJ kneeling with his gun in her hand pointed directly at him. He looked at her and noticed the way her breathing was very laboured and the grey pallor to her face. He smiled._

_JJ watched the smile spread across his face and saw him about to speak. In that moment she pulled the trigger. She saw the look of shock as the first bullet struck it's mark and she kept firing even after the only response was a click as the clip ran out of bullets. Foyet's body lay on the floor, the increasing pool of blood testament to the real bullets present in the gun. JJ dropped the gun and managed to crawl over to where Emily lay. She reached her hand out and checked for a pulse in the arm closest to her. She felt the sob escape her as she felt one beating faintly under her fingers. She let her body sink down to the ground and entwined her fingers with Emily's before allowing herself to slip into the darkness. _

Her eyes flew open again, the panic clearly expressed within them. She took in the black clothes of her normally very colourful friend and began to imagine the worst. She managed to ask the question with just one word, "JJ?" She searched Garcia's expression for an answer as her mind threw all the worst case scenarios at her. She couldn't have gone through all of that for nothing. She couldn't have saved her life and then not made it herself. "Is she…?" Emily couldn't bring herself to say that last word. Part of her didn't want to know the answer to the question, thinking that if she never heard someone say it then she could believe her to be alive.

Garcia noticed the way the brunette took in her clothing and swallowed before speaking. "She was taken into surgery as soon as she arrived. She had extensive internal injuries." Garcia could feel the tears slipping down her cheeks as she spoke. All the feelings of the past few days rushing back as she recalled the events. "They don't know if she will recover from them Em." She watched as tears slipped from Emily's eyes.

"How bad?" Emily asked, her voice breaking as she spoke.

"Not good." Seeing the look on the brunette's face she knew her answer wasn't enough. "20%."

Emily's eyes closed for a moment as she fought to maintain control. "Where is she?" Emily's voice was barely above a whisper.

"She's a couple of rooms down." Garcia watched as Emily tried to sit up. Her arms shot out to stop her. "Em…Em….Stop. You can't move."

"I need to see her. I need to talk to her and tell her that she can't give up. We got out of there and she can't give up now."

"I know Em but you just woke up yourself and you are in no state to get up and walk around."

Emily knew her friend was right and stopped struggling against her. A frown creased her brow. "Why aren't you with her?" As soon as she asked the question she could see the way Garcia shifted uncomfortably.

"Will isn't letting any of the team in."

Emily lay in her bed, staring at the ceiling. "As soon as I can get into a wheelchair, you are taking me in there to see her." Her voice held a strength that had been absent since she woke.


	19. Chapter 19

Disclaimer: Not mine but I keep wishing.

AN: Big thanks to all those who reviewed my last chapter. They are always appreciated and give me a kick to keep writing. Enjoy :o)

Chapter 19

Emily sat in her bed getting more impatient as time went on. She had been very patient in waiting for the doctors to give her the all clear to get mobile. They had run numerous tests and scans on her and she was hoping that today would bring her the news she had been waiting for. Hearing the door she turned her attention to it. "If it's not good news then go away."

"Oh, hey Emily. Is it not a good time?" Reid shifted uncomfortably between his feet in the doorway.

"Reid…Sorry, come in. I thought you were the doctor." Emily waited as the young man came into the room and stood awkwardly near her bed. "You can sit down." She watched as he sat down in the chair she had come to think of as Garcia's chair. "I'm sorry I wasn't there for your mom's funeral."

Reid looked down at his trousers, picking at an invisible thread. "It's not your fault. Garcia made sure she had a beautiful ceremony. I think she would have liked it."

Emily nodded. "I'm sure she would." There was a silence between them for a moment. "Are you doing ok?"

Reid looked over at the brunette woman who was staring intently at him. "I think I will be."

"She's going to come back to us." Emily answered the unasked question held in the young man's look. She saw him nod slowly. "Trust me, we'll get her back." The two agents sat quietly for a while longer before Emily broke the silence. "Hey Reid, do you fancy a game of chess?"

"I erm, I don't have a board."

The brunette smiled at him. "Check over there." She gestured to a cabinet on the opposite wall. As she watched, Reid walked over and pulled out a chess set. His questioning gaze as he returned to the bed told the older agent an explanation was needed. "Garcia told me that she had everything covered and that I should trust her packing skills." She saw the young man smile slightly at the knowledge that he had people still looking out for him.

"White or black?" Was his only question as he set up the board.

* * *

"Let's go Garcia."

Garcia started to push the chair out of the room and along the corridor. As she approached the door, Emily stopped her. "Pen…What if she doesn't…" Her voice died in her throat, not allowing her to complete her sentence.

Garcia placed a hand on the brunette's shoulder. "We have to think positive Em. We just need to give her a reason to come back." She saw the agent nod her understanding. Lifting her hand off her shoulder, she then continued to push the chair to the door.

As they got there Emily reached her hand out to the handle and pushed the door open. The sight that greeted her made her breath catch. The usually vibrant blonde was lying in the bed connected to a whole host of machines. Her skin was so pale bar the bruises and cuts which seemed to make the rest of her face look even paler. Emily's eyes trailed over the tubes and wires that were monitoring the blonde. Her view of the young woman was suddenly blocked by a figure moving to stand in front of her. She knew who it was before she looked up. "We came to see JJ." Her eyes travelled up the body and met Will's cool blue eyes.

"You're not welcome here. None of you are."

Emily refused to back down from the stare. "We're her best friends, she'd want us here."

"Some friends you are. You had the chance to bring her home and didn't. Now look at her. That damn job nearly killed her. When she wakes up, she won't be going back."

Emily could feel herself getting angry with the man stood before her. She clenched the arm rests on the wheelchair as he spoke, every word cutting deeper. She did feel responsible for JJ being in that state. If they had only been faster or put the puzzle together sooner then she would never have been there. Yet one thought kept her from turning and leaving. "That's her decision to make. She'd want to see us and we want to see her." She struggled to keep the contempt out of her voice as she spoke to him.

"You aren't seeing her. It's your fault she is here. He knew she was your weakness and he exploited that. It's all because of you." He spat the words at the brunette.

As Emily heard those words she finally snapped. All her efforts to keep her temper under control failed. She pushed herself to her feet, shaking off the hand Garcia put on her shoulder in an attempt to stop her. She reached her arm out to hold the doorframe for support, her whole body resisting the action. "My fault? I wasn't the one who gave Foyet the information he needed to destroy us. That was YOU. You want to blame someone? Look in a mirror!" She could feel herself getting weaker as all her energy went into the words she shouted. She felt Garcia's hand on her side steadying her and was grateful of the silent support.

"I tried to get her back rather than just waiting for a body like you."

The words brought back the images and feelings she had experienced as she approached what appeared to be JJ's body lying in that deserted lot. Emily felt her legs give out as she sank back to the chair heavily.

"Only family can see her and you're not family. So wheel on away and leave us in peace."

Garcia waited for a moment to see if Emily would say anything but heard no response. She pulled the wheelchair back out of the doorway and watched as the door slid closed once more. She wheeled the chair back down the hall to Emily's room before speaking. "Em sweetie, are you ok?" She moved around to be able to see her friend's face, that was when she saw the tears silently tracking down the brunette's cheeks. "Oh Em." She crouched down and pulled the older woman into a hug, allowing her to cry against her shoulder.

A few minutes past as the brunette allowed the emotions that had been brought to the forefront of her mind to wash through her. Eventually Emily relinquished her hold on her friend and sat back slightly to see her face. "Will she blame me?" Her normally confident voice had lost the strength behind it, making her sound so lost.

Garcia took the brunette's hand into her own as she met the gaze from deep brown eyes. "Never. If there's one thing I'm certain of it's that JJ would never blame any of us for doing our jobs…Least of all you."

"Why least of all me?" Emily's eyebrows knitted together in confusion at her friends words.

"Because she loves you." Garcia saw the look of shock and confusion on the brunette's face, she shook her head at her. "I told you before…I'm omniscient. Yet I'm also discreet. I'm the perfect friend." She winked at the brunette and was rewarded with a smile.

"How do I get past Will to see JJ then?"

Garcia smiled after a moment's thought. "Visiting hours end in an hour. So while the rest of us are banished to our homes, those who happen to be patients…Well, who's going to stop you then?"

Emily returned the smile. "You really are the best."

Garcia tipped her head and gestured taking off a hat in a bow. "Told you." She stood from her position before looking back at her friend. "Right, into bed with you until the coast is clear."

With a bit of support from Garcia, Emily managed to get herself back into the bed. Garcia caught the brunette up on what had happened since she had been brought into the hospital before the two women chatted about less pressing matters. They had lost track of the time when a nurse popped her head around the door.

"Visiting hours are over Penelope."

Garcia nodded to the nurse before standing from her seat and following her out. Just before she left the room, she turned to the brunette. "Em?" Seeing the other woman look over to her she continued. "Bring her back to us." With that comment she turned and left the room, knowing that if there was one person able to bring the blonde back, it was Emily.

* * *

Emily had waited until the nurses had come in after shift change before making her move. She carefully swung her legs over the edge of the bed and steadied herself before pushing herself up to standing. She stood still for a moment to make sure her legs weren't going to give out. Once she was sure she was ready, she took the few steps over to where the wheelchair had been left and took a seat. She winced slightly as she sat heavily into the chair, the motion jarring her stitches. Once the pain had subsided she reached down and released the brakes. Slowly she began to wheel herself out of the room, checking for any nurses as she went.

It took longer than she had expected to reach JJ's room due to the limited movement she could use without pulling her stitches. Eventually she found herself facing the smooth wooden surface of JJ's door once more. The only difference was this time she knew what sight lay waiting for her on the other side. She pushed the door open as she wheeled herself forwards. As she entered the room, she exhaled the breath she hadn't even realised she had been holding. Part of her had expected Will to still be there somehow. Looking around the room, she could see it was empty with the exception of the blonde. Emily managed to wheel herself over to the bed.

As soon as she was beside the sleeping figure, she took a moment to really look at her. She could hear the quiet sounds of the machines in the background as she studied the woman lying before her. The almost grey pallor of the blonde testament to the critical condition she was in. Emily reached up and carefully took the blonde's hand into her own. She noticed how the normally warm hand felt cool to her touch.

"Hey Jayj. I don't know if you can hear me or not but I'm going to talk to you anyway. I know I should know since I was in my own coma and all but I figure I'm so stubborn that I wasn't listening. You are the one who always listens so I'm hoping you are now." Emily stopped speaking and watched as her thumb ran lightly across the blonde's knuckles.

"I don't really know where to start. I've never been good at talking. I've always found that if I talk too much then I mess up what I'm trying to say. My inner geek shines through. See…I'm already rambling about unimportant things." Emily sighed deeply as she tried to organise her thoughts. "I guess what it comes down to is I was a coward. I spent my whole life hiding behind my walls and making excuses for why I shouldn't let anyone too far in. Then you came along." She smiled slightly. "I don't know how or what you did Jayj but somehow you got past all my defences without me even realising until it was too late. Even when I knew I had fallen for you, I made excuses and kept hiding." The smile faded from her lips as she spoke, replaced by a frown. "Then this happened and I thought I was too late. I thought I'd never get the chance to tell you how I felt even though I was convinced it was one sided." Emily paused for a moment as she swallowed down the emotion threatening to overwhelm her. "Then when we heard what we thought was him…We heard your…When I thought I'd lost you, I watched your message to me." Emily could feel a tear slip down her cheek as the words from the DVD replayed in her mind. She was certain that if she never watched the message again, she would still be able to recall every word said. "I found out that you felt the same and I was too late." She reached her other hand up to wipe the tears away. "I wanted to go back and change it. Do something or say something sooner. Just anything that would stop me from feeling like that. I think I'd have lost it then if it hadn't been for Henry. When I looked at him, I knew I couldn't just give up. He deserved better than that."

She stopped talking for a moment as she heard footsteps along the hall outside. She hoped that nobody was going to come in and find her. She listened as the footsteps came closer and then began to fade as the person walked past. "When I saw you again, I can't even begin to explain how I felt. There was so much. Shock, joy, fear, relief…I thought that was my second chance." Her words faltered as she continued reliving the moments in the house. "After he shot me, I only had one thought…That I had failed you and Henry. That hurt more than the gunshot wound. Then making me watch what happened to you." Emily's voice broke at that point, the words failing to emerge as everything she had experienced flooded her memory once more. It took her a few minutes to regain enough control to continue speaking. When she spoke, her voice was barely above a whisper. "I couldn't just watch. Even if it killed me I had to keep trying to save you. I remember how everything was going dark around me and I thought I had failed. Then I heard the gunshots. I wanted to make my body move, to cry out, just anything but all I had was darkness. I just needed to know you were ok." Emily drew in a shaky breath. "Then I felt your fingers touch my wrist and then wrap around my own. That was the last thing I felt before everything faded." She moved her hand to entwine her fingers with those of the blonde. She sat for a moment just looking at the way their fingers fit together. "I just need you to come back to me now. Please Jennifer…I don't want to do this without you. Just wake up. I need to tell you I love you and hear you say it back." Emily felt the tears falling freely now. She gently lifted the hand held in her own to her lips and placed a gentle kiss on it before resting it back onto the bed. She rested her head on her other arm on the edge of the bed. No longer having words to say but still needing to be there. It wasn't long before the brunette had fallen asleep.


	20. Chapter 20

Disclaimer: Not mine unfortunately.

AN: First of all a big thank you to those who have reviewed. More thanks goes to whoever it was that nominated this fic for the CM fanfic awards, that was a really nice surprise. Ok...This chapter took me a while. I actually ended up writing 2 completely different versions of it. So my final set of thanks goes to T for helping me to decide which one I should post. Enjoy :o)

Chapter 20

Emily woke to the feeling of someone shaking her shoulder gently. She sat up, feeling the vertebra in her neck snap back into place and gently rocking her head to loosen the muscles that had seized from the awkward position she slept in. As her eyes opened and she took in the scene before her, she remembered where she was. She looked up at the blonde and saw no change from the previous night. She felt her hope sink slightly at the realisation. Her mind then caught up and she turned to see who had woken her, expecting to be greeted by an angry detective.

"Morning Agent Prentiss." The nurse smiled at the brunette.

"Morning." Emily frowned slightly in confusion wondering why she wasn't getting a lecture about staying in bed. "I just came to see JJ and I must have fallen asleep but…" The brunette stopped talking when the nurse quietly laughed.

"No need to make excuses. She means a lot to you." The nurse commented as she picked up JJ's chart and noted down some readings. She glanced over at the brunette and caught the look of concern she was giving the sleeping blonde. "She's stable. She had a lot of injuries and it was touch and go for a while but she's holding on. She's a fighter."

"More than you know." Emily replied as she gave the hand still held in hers a gentle squeeze.

"You should get back to your room." The nurse caught the look the brunette shot her way and knew an argument was about to be forthcoming. "Visiting hours start in ten minutes and I don't think him finding you here would be good for either of you."

Emily sighed and nodded her agreement. She knew that Will would kick up a big fuss and the last thing she wanted was to risk JJ being able to hear angry words in the room when she was fighting to keep going. She needed the blonde to know there was something worth coming back for. She lifted her hand to gently brush through the blonde hair. "Hey Jay…I've got to go back to my room but I'll be back tonight. You just keep getting better ok? Sometime soon I'd really like to see those blue eyes of yours again." She smiled sadly at the silence and allowed her hand to drop away. With one last look, she began wheeling her chair back.

"Here, let me help Agent Prentiss."

"Emily."

"Emily. I'm Cara."

Emily sat back in her chair as she was wheeled back out of the room. "You don't like Will do you?" She asked as they reached her room once more.

"I see a lot of people come through here. Some families are supportive and want nothing but to give their loved one every chance to recover. Others shut people out and in my experience, those are the ones who don't do so well. Your friends were always in and out of your room. I don't think there was a single minute that went past where one of them wasn't here with you. Each of them brought a new story or atmosphere into the room and I really do think that helps."

"He's cutting her off from everyone." Emily observed, receiving a nod from Cara.

"He doesn't listen to the advice we give to let as many of her friends and family in as possible to try to reach her and give her a reason to keep fighting."

"So you don't like him then?" Emily smiled gently at the nurse from her bed.

Cara smiled back slightly. "I didn't say that." She moved to check on the bandages covering the surgical wounds.

"You know what my job is right?" Emily winced slightly as Cara's hand touched too close to one of the injuries.

"I know you work for the FBI."

"I'm a profiler. I interpret human behaviour." She paused for a moment to see if there was any reaction from the nurse. "I know you don't like him."

"I plead the fifth." She smiled at hearing the quiet laughter from the profiler. "You're healing well. Just take it easy and you'll be good as new in no time." She checked her watch. "Right, I'd best be off to finish my rounds before my shift ends. Penelope will be here any minute now too."

A few seconds later the door opened with a knock and the now purple haired analyst peeked in. "Am I interrupting?" Garcia wiggled her eyebrows suggestively as she stepped into the room fully before anyone could reply. "I come bearing breakfast that has not been approved by a dietician."

"I'll leave you two to it." Cara made her way to the door before turning back. "Oh Emily…Do me a favour and wait for me to come and get you tonight rather than struggling on your own?" Seeing the brunette nod, she continued her path out of the room.

Garcia glanced at her friend with a smirk. "Emily Prentiss…If I didn't know you were a smitten kitten when it comes to our sleeping beauty then I'd be telling you to get that nurses digits…In more ways than one." She winked at the brunette triggering a blush from the older woman. "Anyway, how did your little covert op go last night?"

"I went and spoke to her but there was no change." Emily sighed at the statement. Hearing it aloud made her realise that it meant the chances of the blonde waking up decreased that little bit more. She was glad Reid wasn't there to give her any statistics about the probabilities of JJ waking up at that moment.

Garcia noticed the sadness that hung around the brunette's features as she spoke and reached her hand out to rest it upon Emily's arm. "She'll come back to us Em. You just have to keep thinking positive." Emily nodded at her friend. "And now kitten it's time for a real breakfast rather than the 'food' they try to serve you here." The two women settled into an easy conversation as they enjoyed the food Garcia had brought with her.

* * *

Emily sat in her bed, waiting impatiently for the end of visiting hours. It had been the same routine for the past few nights. Visiting hours would end and then Cara would come and help Emily into her wheelchair before taking her down to the blonde's room. Once there, she'd spend time talking to JJ's sleeping form and would eventually fall asleep at her bedside. When morning came, Cara would come back and check JJ's vitals and then wake Emily to take her back to her room. It was the only way she was able to spend time with the blonde.

Tonight it was different, she knew that in light of the progress she had made, the doctors were discharging her in the morning which meant that tonight would be the last time she could spend time with JJ without Will knowing or breaking hospital rules by sneaking in after hours.

"Hey Emily." Cara's voice broke her from her thoughts. The nurse came into the room and helped the brunette into the chair.

"You know I really don't need this anymore. I'm doing fine with walking as long as I take it slow." The brunette tried to convince the nurse of her independence.

"Humour me for one more night?"

Emily nodded and sat back as she was wheeled down the corridor. "How is she today?"

"She's stable and her stats are improving."

"But no signs of her waking up right?"

"Sorry Emily." The brunette nodded as she was wheeled into the room and up to the blonde's bed. "I'll leave you to it." She placed a gentle hand on Emily's shoulder before leaving the room.

Emily looked the blonde over to make her own assessment. She knew that the medical side would be accurate but she hoped that they had missed some minor change in the younger woman that would signify her impending return to consciousness. The bruises had started to fade in places now revealing the pale skin beneath. Emily tried to be positive about the little things as Garcia had told her to but it was hard when all she wanted was to be able to look into JJ's blue eyes once more.

"Hey Jayj. You're looking better tonight. If you keep this up much longer then I think you'll beat those princesses in fairy tales for length of time asleep. If only it was as simple as just needing one kiss to wake you up." Emily sighed sadly. As she reached out to take the blonde's hand she remembered something Garcia had given her earlier that day. She reached into her pocket and retrieved the item. "Garcia have me this earlier to return to you." She slipped the ring back onto JJ's right hand. "I don't know if Will has brought Henry in to see you or not but this is to remind you that your little boy is waiting for you to wake up. Just a reminder of why you need to keep trying to come back to us." Emily gently lay JJ's hand back onto the bed and then settled into her normal pose with the blonde's left hand in her own, her thumb tracing over the skin as she spoke.

"I'm being released in the morning so tonight is the last time I'll get to spend the night here I guess. I don't even know if you realise I'm here." Emily sat quietly for a moment, not wanting to dwell on the negative side of the situation. "I'll be back to visit you when I've been released. I'm not going to leave you." Emily tried to focus on more positive topics for the remainder of her time, hoping that something was getting through to the blonde.

* * *

"Wake up."

Emily stirred from her resting position, her fingers still entwined with JJ's and her head resting against her arm. The brunette slowly opened her eyes and blinked the sleep away as she did her usual morning check of the blonde's state. "Any change?"

"Get out."

The voice was cold and male. Emily mentally prepared herself for the sight she now knew would greet her as she turned. Her eyes travelled down the blonde and across to where Will stood. "Will."

"I said get out." His voice was getting louder, the anger clear on his face.

Emily took in his posture and the tone he was using and decided that she really didn't want to be in the wheelchair for what she knew would follow. She stood from the chair and turned to face him, her hand remained linked with JJ's. "Will, you can't keep her hidden from us. She wouldn't want that." Emily was careful to keep her voice calm, hoping that the man before her would see reason.

He stepped forwards, moving into the brunette's personal space. "Don't you dare try and tell me what she would or wouldn't want. She is my fiancée." The anger that was building within him was clearly expressed in every word that left his lips.

Emily clenched her jaw to prevent a retort about the obvious lack of a ring or to her knowledge and acceptance of any proposal the man had made. The words from the DVD replaying in her mind. She didn't want to say something out of anger when the blonde obviously hadn't had the chance to explain the situation to the man before her. She knew JJ was making sure Henry would be safe in her care before informing Will about her feelings. "Even so, she needs her family around her." Emily struggled to keep her tone measured.

"I am her family. You are her colleague. You don't mean any more to her than that." Emily was about to reply when Will cut her off continuing. "If you meant so much, why does she never go out with you all? Why is it that you never see each other outside of work? Why doesn't she spend hours on the phone to you? Can you really mean that much when you only see each other at work?" Every question Will threw at her cut a little deeper. Emily couldn't answer any of those questions. It made her doubt everything she had come to hope for from the blonde. He was right…They didn't spend time together outside of work or talk at weekends. They would spend time together during work hours and then go to their separate lives. It hadn't always been that way but in recent months, she couldn't deny that had been the case. Emily felt her confidence deflate.

Will looked at the brunette and noticed the entwined hands. He reached out and pulled her hand away from JJ's, placing himself between the blonde's bed and the older woman. "Whatever fantasy you had created about you and my JJ ends now. Stop trying to twist friendship into something perverse."

Emily could feel her own anger rising at his words. The temptation to tell him what the message JJ had left her said was becoming too almost too much. Yet she knew she wasn't able to do that to the blonde, it wasn't her place. "I'm going to come back and visit her." Emily started to make a move towards the door until Will's voice stopped her in her tracks.

"She won't be here when you get back." Emily turned to face him, the shock evident on her face. "I'm moving her to a private facility where you won't have any access. I hope you said goodbye."

As soon as those words left his lips the machines began to beep loudly. Emily turned to look at the machines, the chill that had started at the sound of the alarm rapidly spread through her body, coiling around every part of her, leaving her cold. Will had turned to stare at the machines and the blonde too. Emily was about to step towards the bed when a doctor and nurses ran into the room. Emily found herself retreating to stand against the wall, her eyes fixed on the blonde as the doctors checked for the source of the problem and issued orders to the nurses. Odd words made it through the fear into Emily's consciousness.

"Respiratory distress."

"OR now."

She was powerless to watch as they disconnected the various machines and wheeled her out of the room. Emily felt her legs give out making her sink to the floor as she heard one last comment as the gurney was wheeled out of the room.

"We're losing her."


	21. Chapter 21

Disclaimer: I don't own any of them.

AN: First of all a big thank you to those who reviewed my last chapter. They are all greatly appreciated and do keep me writing. If you want to vote in the CM fanfic awards, there is a link on my profile, check out some of the other great fics on there too. Apologies for the delay in this chapter. Anyway, enough rambling…Enjoy :o)

Chapter 21

The next moment, she felt Will pulling on her arms in an attempt to make her stand. His face was close to hers. "What did you do to her?"

"I…She…I…" Emily gave up with trying to speak and took a breath to steady herself and just shook her head at him. She had no answers for herself, let alone him. Her fear was that the blonde had been able to hear everything they had said. That she had heard their disagreement and Will's plans to move her away from the team. Emily knew mentioning her fears to the irate man before her would only serve to make the situation worse so the brunette remained silent. Emily felt arms drop back to her sides as he released his grip on her. She saw him shake his head, not wanting to believe what had just happened.

"This is your fault. You should never have been in here. If she dies then it's all your fault." He spat the words at the brunette before leaving the room.

Every word that escaped his lips felt like a physical blow to the brunette. She had to wonder if he was right. If she hadn't been there then they wouldn't have argued. If they hadn't argued then maybe JJ wouldn't have…Her thoughts were cut off by the sound of a gasp from the doorway. The next moment she felt herself wrapped into a hug.

"Oh Em. She'll be alright." Garcia held the brunette as she spoke her words of comfort. They stayed that way for a moment.

"It's my fault." Emily's voice was quiet. Garcia pulled back from the hug she had the brunette in to see her face, the confusion clearly reflected in her eyes. "I argued with Will."

"That does not mean it is your fault."

Emil shook her head slowly. "She was doing better, getting stronger. Then I went and let him find me in here. If she has been able to hear then she would have heard…" Her voice faded away, unable to repeat what Will had told her moments before. Fresh tears began to fall as the realisation that she might lose JJ no matter what happened in the operating room dawned upon her. All Garcia could do was pull her friend into another hug while whispering words of comfort, trying to get the older woman to believe that it wasn't her responsibility. She just hoped that she could get through to the brunette and that the blonde would keep fighting a bit longer.

* * *

Eventually Garcia had managed to convince Emily to go back to her room. She knew there was no way Will was going to let them near the waiting room for the operating theatre. They had remained in silence since their return. Both women wondering what was happening elsewhere in the hospital but knowing the chance of finding out any information was remote.

"Good morning Emily." The doctor walked into the room and spoke in a jovial tone that indicated he knew nothing of the change in the blonde agent. "I'll just give you a final check and then we'll get you all discharged and back home." He continued, not noticing the heavy atmosphere in the room.

Emily looked up at the mention of being discharged. She knew that it was happening today but with the earlier events, it had slipped her mind. Now her only thought was that if she was no longer present in the hospital, she might miss news of JJ. "I can't go yet." She looked to Garcia and knew the other woman understood her concern.

"Nonsense. You have made excellent progress and there is no reason to keep you here any longer." The doctor continued his examination as he spoke. "You're healing well. Just make sure to keep the dressings dry and clean. The stitches should be out at the end of next week. Just take it easy and build up slowly on your return to work."

"But I need to stay here." Emily tried to protest against the doctor's decision but it seemed futile. Before she could continue, the doctor spoke again.

"I'll sign the papers and you can get home." He busied himself with making notes on her chart as he headed out of the room, not hearing the protests from the brunette.

Emily watched the doctor leave the room. "I can't…" She turned her attention to her friend. "I can't leave. Not without knowing…" She left the sentence unfinished, knowing the other woman would understand what she meant.

Garcia stepped across the room from where she had been standing and took the older woman's hand, giving it a gentle squeeze as she did so. "I know Em but there's nothing more you can do here. When JJ gets out of surgery she'll probably be back in the ICU and that means no visiting hours anyway."

Emily nodded reluctantly. She knew that the blonde was right and that the chances of her getting in to see JJ were remote. "Promise me you'll help me find a way to keep track on JJ's progress?" The brunette met Garcia's gaze, needing to see that when she answered it would be the truth.

"I promise."

* * *

Emily had been discharged from the hospital a couple of hours ago but hadn't left. She knew that Will would not allow her near the waiting area for the operating theatre but she could't bring herself to leave without knowing that JJ was going to be ok. She had sat outside the main doors ever since her discharge waiting for Will to leave. Garcia had tried to get her to go back to her condo to rest but had eventually given up when she saw how determined the brunette was.

She checked her watch once more. 11.31am. Two and a half hours had now passed since JJ had been rushed into surgery. The words still echoed in her mind from that moment. Emily kept replaying the morning through in her own mind. Wanting nothing more than to go back and change it. To wake up just a couple of minutes earlier and be out of the room before Will had arrived. She knew it wasn't possible. So she sat and waited, hoping that when she finally laid eyes upon the Cajun detective, he would be the bearer or good news.

Looking down at her watch again she huffed out a frustrated sigh, 11.32am. Every minute that passed made the brunette more tense. She took her phone out and dialled Garcia's cell.

"You have reached the dream weaver, speak your deepest desires and have them granted."

"Hey, it's Em."

"Any news on our girl yet?"

"No. I was hoping you could do some detective work."

"A little hospital hacking? Let me see what I can do." The sound of keys tapping in the background could be heard. "Ok, the 20th century just called and they'd like their admin system back. This is seriously out dated. I can tell you that there is no worry of patient confidentiality being breached since they have almost no up to date information on their system. Sorry Em."

Emily felt the disappointment wash through her. "Thanks anyway Garcia." Emily hung up the call before glancing at her watch once more. 11.34am. Time really was passing incredibly slowly. She cast a quick look over to the doors once more and then did a double take. Coming out of the hospital was Will LaMontagne. Emily stood from the bench and steeled herself for another confrontation as she approached the man. "Will."

The detective looked up and met the face of the woman he held accountable for the whole situation. As soon as he looked at her, he turned away and kept walking.

Emily chased after him and grabbed his arm. "Will, wait. Please."

Will looked down at the hand on his arm with disgust. "What do you want agent?" His voice was quiet yet held an air of threat to it.

Emily spoke with a quiet tone, not wanting to trigger any negative reaction in the man who held all of the information she needed. "Please just tell me how she is."

Will stared at the ground for a moment before turning to look at the woman standing behind him. "You want to know how JJ is?" His voice was cold, detached.

"Yes." Emily feared that he would just turn and walk away, leaving her in the dark about the condition of the blonde agent. She knew that the not knowing was going to drive her insane. She saw him clench his jaw a couple of times before he spoke.

"She's dead."

Emily felt the world drop away with those two words. The two words she had dreaded but never really allowed herself to believe could be true. She opened her mouth to speak but no words came out. Closing her mouth, she heard the words once more. Dead. JJ was dead. She opened her mouth and managed to whisper a single word. "How?"

"Pulmonary embolism. They think her blood pressure increased and led to the clot breaking away and travelled to the lungs. She stopped breathing and her heart stopped. They weren't able to remove the clot before she was gone." He spoke with a distant tone, his voice betraying no emotion about the event.

Emily listened as he spoke, the words ringing in her ears. She felt her arm drop away as Will turned to leave. She stared at the place he had stood only moments before, the words repeating in her mind on a continual loop.

* * *

Garcia stood from her couch at the knocking on her door. She looked through the peep hole and immediately stepped back as she unlocked the door, swinging it open. As soon as the door was open, she looked at the figure standing in the hall. The look in the brunette's eyes sent a chill through the blonde. Emily's usually vibrant eyes were dull and red rimmed, evidence that she had been crying. "Em?" As the brunette looked up and met her gaze, she saw something she never expected to witness in the older woman's eyes. Gone was the confidence and the compassion, in its place was pain and loss. Garcia didn't want to ask the question she knew she had to for fear of the answer. The state of the brunette sent every warning off in her own mind but she still had to know. She had to hear it from her lips. "What happened?"

Emily's voice was barely above a whisper when she spoke. "She's gone."

Garcia's hand flew up to her mouth as the tears welled up in her eyes. "Gone as in Will took her somewhere right? That's what you mean isn't it Emily?" Her voice was desperate.

Emily shook her head. "She's dead."

Garcia's tears spilled down her cheeks as a cry of anguish escaped her throat. Emily stood as still as a statue as Garcia cried, unable to offer any comfort to the other woman when she had none of her own. Suddenly Garcia pulled the brunette into a hug, her arms wrapping around the brunette's stiff frame.

It was at that moment, while Garcia cried while holding the older woman that Emily came out of the haze she had descended into at some point after hearing the news. It was standing in the hallway of Garcia's apartment complex that Emily let herself fall apart, collapsing against the blonde woman and letting the emotions overwhelm her.


	22. Chapter 22

Disclaimer: I don't own them, I'm just playing.

AN: Thank you to all those who reviewed my last chapter. Don't forget to check out the CM fanfic awards…link on my profile page. My apologies for not posting this sooner but it's been a busy week. I hope this is worth the wait. Enjoy :o)

Chapter 22

Garcia had managed to lead Emily into her apartment and over to her couch. The blonde had just held her friend as they both cried, neither woman able to find the words to say at that time. Garcia's mind was racing with questions about what had happened but it was clear the brunette was in no fit state to answer any of them at that point in time. So they sat there, clinging to each other with the hope that the other would provide some form of comfort in their silent embrace. Eventually Garcia felt the brunette's breathing change as she drifted into a sleep brought on by exhaustion. She slipped herself out and gently lowered Emily down onto the couch. She reached onto the back and lifted down the blanket that lay there, draping it over the sleeping figure. She reached her hand out and brushed a few strands of hair behind her ear. "We'll get through this Em. You'll get through this." Garcia felt a single tear slip down her cheek as she spoke. "You have to…I can't lose you too."

* * *

Emily walked into the hospital room and looked over to the bed. She was met with the sleeping form of the blonde agent. As she took her usual five steps over from the door to the bed, she cast a glance at the machines. The repeating patterns and familiar displays had become a comfort to her over the past few nights of sitting with the younger woman. She took her seat by the bed and reached up, taking the blonde's hand in her own. "Hey Jay. Any chance of seeing those beautiful blue eyes of yours tonight?" She paused for a moment and glanced up at the peaceful expression that adorned the younger woman's face. "Guess you're still catching up on all that sleep you miss in our normal week. You know you're going to have to wake up sooner or later. Garcia told me the agent they have covering for you has started to organise your desk. If you sleep much longer then she might find your secret chocolate stash."

"Not secret." The words were spoken quietly and each was separated with a shaky breath.

Emily's eyes flew up to the face of the woman who had just spoken. Her mouth opening and closing silently as she attempted to form words. The blonde looked the same, making her doubt what she had heard. "Jayj?" Before she could get a response a hand grabbed her shoulder, pulling her away from the bed. She immediately noticed the loss of contact with the younger woman. As she lost sight of the other woman, she turned her gaze upon the person responsible for the sudden intrusion into their time. "Will…"

"Get out." His voice was cold and he began pushing her towards the door.

"No. She needs me. I have to stay here." Emily's voice left no room for argument, yet the man before her didn't seem to heed the tone.

"You can't do anything for her. You couldn't protect her from Foyet and you can't save her now. You could help her when she needed you the most. Just leave before you do more damage."

Emily felt each word strike her like a physical blow. He was right. She hadn't been able to save her from Foyet. She hadn't protected her from him. She'd just watched as he tried to kill the woman she loved. She went to turn to look at the blonde but stopped. She wasn't sure she wanted to look at the face of the woman she had let down, the bruises were a reminder of what she had failed to do. She turned her attention back to the door and took a step towards it. She only stopped when the machines started beeping loudly. She spun on the spot and that was when she saw a sight she had longed to see for days. Yet now as she looked into the deep blue eyes it was not love she saw but pain. Staring into the eyes watching her, she wanted to speak. She wanted to find the words to tell the younger woman that she was sorry but no words would come. She watched silently as a tear slipped down her pale cheek. The beeping of the machines then became one continuous sound as the blonde's eyes drifted closed once more.

"JJ! You can't leave me. You can't die. I'm sorry. Please. I'm sorry."

Emily sat up with a start, staring around the room with her eyes wide. Her chest was heaving as she gasped in deep breaths. It was only when her gaze fell upon Garcia's worried face that it all came rushing back to her. "Oh god…It's not just a dream." She looked to her friend for a denial but when one was not forthcoming she felt her shoulders slump forwards as the tears came once more. "She's gone." The words were whispered over and over as Garcia pulled the older woman close. She felt her heart break for her friend as she held her, feeling her shoulder become damp from the tears and knowing that her own were falling in response.

* * *

"Mr LaMontagne?" The man called from behind the desk. Will stood from the seat he had been waiting on and walked over to the desk. "Have you completed the forms?"

"Yes." He handed a clipboard back to the man. He watched as the forms were checked.

"These are Ms Jareau's personal items." He handed a bag containing the few belongings JJ had on her person when she had been brought into the hospital. "I'll arrange for her to be brought out." Will nodded and went to sit back down and wait.

* * *

Garcia heard her phone ringing and pulled away from the brunette to answer it. "Garcia."

"Hey hey baby girl. Where's my normal morning greeting?"

"Derek…" Garcia's voice trailed off as she tried to think of the best way to inform Morgan about the developments of the previous night.

"What's happened?" The concern was clearly evident in Morgan's voice. The use of his first name had not gone unnoticed by the agent.

"It's JJ. She…She's gone." As the last word passed her lips, Garcia felt her last remaining shreds of control slip away.

"I'll be right there. Where's Prentiss?"

"Here."

"I'll be right there."

Garcia closed her phone before placing it on the side once more. She cast a look at the brunette who had tucked her knees up to her chest, her gaze focused somewhere in the distance. The analyst stood and made her way into the kitchen, knowing that coffee would be required to get through the next few days.

* * *

Will watched as the gurney was rolled out of the doors and towards the waiting vehicle. The sound of the back closing drew him out of his thoughts. He watched as the vehicle pulled away before heading over to his car. He placed the personal items on the seat beside him before pulling out of the hospital for the last time.

* * *

As soon as the door was opened, Morgan carried out his own visual assessment of the woman standing before him. He could tell that she was trying to hold it together and as he looked behind her to the couch, he saw the reason why. Emily had drawn her body in on itself, making herself as small as possible as if the pose would protect her from all the pain caused by recent events. Morgan stepped into the apartment but refrained from drawing Garcia into a hug, sensing that it would only serve to break the tenuous hold she had on her emotions at that time.

"What happened?" He followed the blonde over to the kitchen where he watched as she poured herself a coffee. He shook his head as she held a mug up to offer him one.

"I don't know the details. Em hasn't really spoken since she got here."

Morgan looked over at the brunette who hadn't even appeared to register his presence. Turning his attention back to the blonde he knew what he needed to do. "I'll go by the hospital and find out."

"They won't talk to you. You're not family."

"Either they tell me what happened or I'll go and talk to Will." He placed a gentle kiss onto the blonde's forehead. "Look after her until I get back." Seeing the blonde nod, he turned and made his way out and over to the hospital.

* * *

Morgan walked into the hospital and up to the floor where JJ had been prior to her being rushed into surgery once more. He approached the nurses station and waited until the nurse on duty had finished her call on the phone.

"Hi, how can I help you?" She smiled up at the agent.

"I need to know what happened to Jennifer Jareau."

"And you are?"

"Supervisory Special Agent Derek Morgan." Morgan took his credentials out of his pocket to show to the nurse. He watched as she looked them over before turning her attention back to him.

"Is this in regards to a case?"

Morgan considered his answer for a second before giving it. "Yes it is. We need to know the cause of death for the final report."

The nurse frowned at the agent. "I think I'd better page her doctor to talk to you. I'll get him to come right down." She turned her attention to the phone before dialling the doctors pager.

Morgan watched the behaviour of the nurse an unsettling feeling began to spread through him.

* * *

Slowly she took in the room around her. A slight frown creased her brow as she looked at the unfamiliar surroundings. There were certain things that seemed similar but the rest was foreign. She blinked several times as she looked around herself. That was when her eyes came to rest on the person sitting beside her bed. She opened her mouth to speak but found her voice only managed a weak whisper that sounded raspy to her ears. She swallowed a couple of times, finding it difficult as her mouth was so dry. She then tried again to speak. This time she managed to make enough of a sound to rouse her sleeping visitor.

Will stood from the chair and took her hand in his own. "JJ?"

She looked down at their hands and frowned. There was something familiar about the feeling of someone's hand in her own and yet it felt different somehow. "Water." She managed to get the word out past her very dry throat. She watched as Will turned and left the room. JJ tried to remember what had happened but she was still feeling quite disorientated. She saw Will come back into the room with a doctor in tow.

"Miss Jareau. It's nice to meet you. I'm doctor Young. I just need to run a few tests with you now that you are awake again." JJ nodded and allowed the doctor to run his tests as she tried to get her mind functioning properly again.

"Well, you seem to be doing very well. You can expect some weakness as your body recovers from the surgeries and your injuries but things are looking good now that you are awake. Try not to overuse your voice as you spent a lot of time on a ventilator so you will be sore. It's nice to see you awake Miss Jareau." The doctor made a couple of notes onto her chart before leaving the room.

Will handed her a cup with some ice chips in it to help with her throat. She gladly accepted it and took a few chips into her mouth. The coolness of the water that trickled down her throat helped to ease the soreness. As she swallowed the last of the moisture she licked her lips before speaking. "What happened?"

"You were kidnapped by Foyet. When they found you, you were unconscious as a result of your injuries. After your surgery you slipped into a coma. Yesterday you had a set back and needed another operation to remove a blood clot."

JJ listened to the abridged version of events. She remembered her time with Foyet. She could still recall with crystal clarity the way he had made her choose who lived and who died. Then when she had given up her hope of getting out of there alive, Emily came. JJ's eyes flew wide as she searched her own memory for what happened after that. She could remember nearly getting out and then Foyet appearing. Emily falling. She felt her breathing increase as the scene played out in her mind once more. Her fear that the brunette had fallen victim to the gunshot making it hard to continue her recollection of events. She forced her fear away as an image of Emily fighting Foyet sprang to the forefront of her mind. Then she remembered seeing him standing over the brunette and knowing she had to stop him. The gun in her hand as she pulled the trigger, watching him fall to the ground. Then nothing. She had to know what had happened to the brunette. "Emily?"

She watched as Will's expression changed. "She's fine."

"Are they here?" JJ's voice held a hope that wasn't missed by the detective.

"No."

JJ frowned slightly. She couldn't help but feel disappointed that none of the team were there when she woke up but she understood that they had their jobs to do. "Could you call them?"

"I don't think having them all come and visit is a good idea. You need your rest and it's a long drive for them."

"Long drive?" JJ saw the look on Will's face that gave away his unintentional slip up over the comment. When the man stayed quiet, JJ spoke once more. "Where am I Will?"

"You're in a private facility to get the proper care and the peace you need to recover. You don't need any of them coming in here and creating more problems. You need…"

JJ's voice stopped him in his speech. "Don't tell me what I need." Seeing the man was about to argue she spoke once more, summoning up all the strength she could in her voice. "I need to rest. Can you go and check on Henry and bring him by later?"

"Henry is at home with a nanny."

JJ could feel her anger rising and knew it probably wasn't the best idea in her condition. She tried to contain it as she spoke. "We don't have a nanny."

"I hired one to look after him."

JJ knew she was about to lose her control so used the last of it to utter one last sentence to him. "I need to rest." She turned her head away from him and closed her eyes. She waited until she heard him leave the room before opening her eyes once more and looking around the room for a phone.


	23. Chapter 23

Disclaimer: Still not mine but maybe I'll get them for my birthday...a girl can dream :op

AN: First of all...Thank you to those who have reviewed. They are as always my encouragement to keep writing. Since I'm on half term break this week, I'l try and get another chapter done before I go back to work Monday. Enjoy :o)

Chapter 23

JJ looked around and felt her relief as her eyes fell upon a phone situated on the cabinet beside her bed. She tried lifting her arm and found the movement restricted by a shooting pain through her shoulder. She tried once again, attempting to ignore the pain that flashed once more but was unable to move more than a few centimetres. Glancing down she could see the edges of a bandage peeking out from under her gown. She gave one more look at the phone before shifting as close to the edge of the bed as she could. Every move she made triggered a fresh burst of pain from somewhere on her body. As soon as she was pressed up against the metal frame of the bed, she stretched her other arm over her body, reaching for the phone. Her fingers brushed the edge of the wire, the only part within reach. Stretching a bit further, she clenched her jaw as she fought to endure the pain the action was causing. Her fingers touched the wire and she started to inch the phone closer. She moved it slowly, knowing how close it was to the edge of the cabinet. As she continued to slide the phone closer, she held her breath as it teetered on the edge. She froze in her actions. Knowing Will could return at any point, she took one deep breath and then slipped her finger under the wire, managing to get it pinched between the end of her middle finger and her index finger. Then she gave one last pull. As soon as she did, the phone began to slip off the edge of the cabinet. She frantically tried to grasp at the wire but was unable to get her grip to hold it. The phone crashed onto the floor beside her bed. "Shit."

JJ let her head fall back against the pillow as she stared up at the ceiling. She could feel the prickle of tears behind her eyes from the frustration of her situation. All she wanted right then was to be able to see her family and know they were all safe.

* * *

"Agent Morgan?" Morgan looked up from where he was standing leaning against the nurses station. "You were asking about Agent Jareau?"

"Yeah, we need to know her cause of death for the report." Morgan watched as the doctor frowned in the same way as the nurse.

"Cause of death? I think there has been a misunderstanding. Agent Jareau isn't dead."

As soon as Morgan heard those words, he didn't know whether to be relieved or angry. He knew that Will had stood outside this very hospital and informed Emily that JJ had died. "Where is she?"

"Her fiancé signed her out AMA last night after she was out of surgery."

"He signed her out? Where did he take her?" Morgan could feel his anger at the detective rising. Not only had he lied to them but he had jeopardised JJ's recovery by signing her out of the hospital against the doctors advice.

"I don't know. When he signed her out, he was under no obligation to inform us of her destination. I hope it was to another facility to offer her the care she needs to recover." The doctor looked over at Morgan. "I hope you find your friend Agent Morgan and I truly am sorry that I cannot be more help."

Morgan nodded and watched as the doctor turned and walked away. The next moment, he pulled his phone out and started dialling as he made his way out of the hospital. He wasn't surprised when the phone was answered after only the first ring.

"What happened?" Garcia's voice came through the handset.

"She's not dead baby girl." Morgan could hear the sound of breathing on the end of the phone. "She's not dead. He lied."

There was silence for a moment longer as Garcia processed what she had just been told. "He did what? Does he think this is a game? What the hell was he thinking? How could he say she was dead when she wasn't? I'm going to destroy that crawfish…"

"Garcia." The sound of Morgan's voice, brought her rant to an end. "I need you to do something for me so we can find JJ."

When Garcia spoke, her voice had a new edge of determination to it. She would do anything she could to locate the young agent and bring her back to her family. "Your wish is most definitely my command."

Morgan couldn't help but smile at the hint of the old Garcia shining through despite the situation they found themselves in once more. "He signed her out AMA so there are no records of where they were heading. JJ still needed medical attention so I'm hoping he has taken her to another hospital. I need you to search through all of the other hospitals or private care facilities for her."

"I'll have them scoured by the time you get back here." With that Morgan disconnected the call and made his way back to his car. His hope was that Garcia would locate JJ but there was something that told him Will wasn't going to make this easy.

* * *

Garcia put her phone down on the side and made her way over to where her laptop sat on the desk. She took her seat and booted it up. Emily was sleeping on the couch once more. Garcia knew she should wake the brunette but hoped that once she ran her search, she would have a location for the blonde rather than creating further uncertainty for the other woman. Turning her attention back to her computer, she began typing her parameters into her search. She used the approximate time of Emily confronting Will to give the possible distance that could have been covered. Then searched for JJ in all of the resulting matches.

* * *

Morgan knocked quietly on the door to Garcia's apartment. "Any luck?" He looked at the analyst in hope.

Garcia made her way back over to the computer. "I searched for her under her own name and got no hits. So I widened the parameters to include any women in between 20 and 30 checked into a facility in the last 12 hours. It seems there were quite a few possible matches. The problem comes with the private facilities. Not all of them are networked for easy access and I'll need to hack into each of the databases in turn to get the information. That's a lot of possible places. I need something more to narrow this down. Right now it's like trying to find a hobbit in the battle of Pelennor fields."

Morgan tried to think about how they could narrow their search. "The hospital has CCTV cameras on their loading bays right?"

Garcia smiled. "Brains and brawn…I knew there was a reason you were so irresistible." Garcia tapped away on her keyboard before pulling up the CCTV footage from the hospital. "Good thing they joined the digital era." She scanned through the file names for the appropriate time before opening the footage.

As Morgan and Garcia scanned through the images, waiting for the relevant vehicle, neither of them noticed the door to the apartment click shut once more.

* * *

Emily walked down the street and hailed a cab. Her mind racing with what she had just heard. She had woken when the phone had rung but hadn't had the energy or the inclination to open her eyes. She guessed Garcia had assumed she was still sleeping. As she listened to the words, she had been unable to move from shock. JJ wasn't dead. Will had lied. He'd lied to her as she stood outside the hospital and begged him to tell her how her best friend was.

Her mind had been processing the information from that point. Running through all the possible reasons why he would do that but she hadn't managed to formulate any that were acceptable. The one thing she knew was that if he had gone to the trouble of lying to them to lead them to believe the blonde was dead, he wasn't going to make it easy to find her.

As she got into the cab she gave the driver the address and then sat back to consider what to do if her current plan failed.

* * *

"There." Morgan pointed at the screen as he saw the gurney with JJ being wheeled out of the hospital doors. Will stood beside the vehicle as she was loaded in.

"Got it. Now let me just…" Garcia trailed off as she looked at the image. "I can't get a license plate. The angle of the camera only shows the front of the vehicle and it doesn't have a plate."

"So we're back at square one again." Morgan could feel his frustration increasing.

"Not quite. There are only 19 states that don't require front license plates. Given the time that we know JJ left the hospital and we know there have been no medical flights, then that means she could only be in North Carolina, South Carolina, Pennsylvania or West Virginia." She caught sight of Morgan's expression that clearly showed he didn't think this was much better than square one. "I have only four states left to search now and that's better than the ten we started with."

"I know. I just know that if we don't get JJ back we won't just be losing her." Morgan didn't need to explain his statement. Garcia knew that if they couldn't locate JJ and bring her back then there was a high probability that Emily wouldn't be able to come back to them. They had nearly lost both agents at the hands of Foyet and now there was another risk to their well being. Garcia cast a glance over to the couch as she thought of her sleeping friend. As soon as her eyes locked onto the space she shot out of her seat.

"Woah there." Morgan placed a hand on Garcia's shoulder, a frown creasing his brow at the slightly strange behaviour of the analyst.

"She's gone." Garcia pointed at the couch where Emily had previously been residing.

Morgan turned his attention to follow Garcia's finger as his eyes widened in shock. "This is not good."

* * *

Emily knocked on the door. She cast a look down the quiet street as she stood there. An image flashed into her mind of standing on a doorstep waiting for a possible witness to answer with JJ standing right beside her. Knowing that no matter what would be about to happen when the door opened, the blonde would be there to offer back up whether that was physically or emotionally. Emily had come to rely upon the strength of the younger agent in some of the most trying of situations, knowing that especially when dealing with distraught families JJ would be able to find a way to get them to talk. Right now, she wished she was anywhere but here.

She was pulled from her thoughts by the door opening. Standing before her was a middle aged woman that the brunette had never seen before. She guessed the bruising on her face was still evident from the expression of the woman.

"Can I help you miss?" The woman asked as she regarded Emily with caution.

"I hope so. I'm looking for JJ." She watched as the expression on the woman's face became closed.

"I'm sorry but I don't know where she is." She made a move to close the door but was stopped by Emily placing her hand against the surface.

"Ma'am please. My name is Emily Prentiss, I'm an FBI agent on JJ's team." Seeing the sceptical look on the woman's face, Emily reached into her pocket and pulled her badge out to show her. She watched as the woman alternated her attention between the badge and her face. Seeing the acceptance of who she was, Emily put her badge away before speaking. "Can I ask who you are?"

"Mary Turner. I'm the LaMontagne's nanny."

Emily couldn't help but frown slightly at the use of the plural form of Will's surname. "Would you mind if I came in to ask a few questions?" The door was opened wider and Mary stepped back to allow the agent access. As Emily stepped into the house, she thanked the woman before following her into the lounge. After they took a seat, Emily spoke. "How long have you been employed as Henry's nanny?" She thought it was strange the JJ hadn't mentioned to them that she had a nanny.

"Mr LaMontagne hired me to look after Henry after that terrible business when his wife was left in the hospital. He wanted to spend his time there with her and didn't want to worry about the baby."

Emily bit down on her tongue to prevent the comment that had formed on the tip of her tongue at the word wife with regards to JJ. She knew that it wouldn't serve her purpose to potentially alienate the woman by accusing her employer of lying. "Do you know where LaMontagne is now?"

"He's staying at the hospital with his wife. He wants to make sure she gets the best care. He's such a sweet man. I wish my husband was a caring and charming as he is. His wife is one lucky lady."

"Which hospital is it that they are at?" Emily resisted the urge to grind her teeth at the glowing words about Will. The temptation to tell the woman exactly what Will was like grew with every word she had to endure.

"I'm afraid not dear. Mr LaMontagne was in such a rush and was awfully worried when he left last night that it was never mentioned. I have his cell number if you need to call him."

"Thank you, that would be useful." Emily watched as the woman stood to walk to the kitchen in order to retrieve the number. She had only taken a few steps when the sound of Henry crying came through the baby monitor on the side.

"Oh dear, will you excuse me for a moment. I don't think he likes being away from his parents much. He is a chore to get to settle once he cries." Mary shook her head as she spoke in pity for what Henry must be feeling.

Emily stood and placed her hand on the woman's arm. "May I? I have learnt a couple of tricks from JJ about how to get him to settle." Emily smiled as she finished speaking. As nice as the woman seemed, she wanted to check on Henry herself. She knew JJ wouldn't be happy about not having been consulted about someone looking after Henry and so the least she could do was check everything was as it should be.

Mary nodded after considering the offer for a moment. "I'll get that number for you then." She stepped away from the stairs and made her way to the kitchen as Emily ascended the flight of stairs to see Henry.

* * *

JJ opened her eyes and the first question that ran through her mind was where was she. It didn't take long for the memory to return. She looked over to the cabinet once more and noticed the phone was no longer in sight. She frowned at the disappearance of the phone.

"I've taken it out." Her head snapped around and she saw Will sitting in the corner of the room. She had to squint slightly to make out his figure in the dim light of the room. She watched as he stood and walked over towards the bed. "I didn't want your recovery being disturbed."

"Did you call the team?" JJ asked, already suspecting what the answer was going to be.

"I did."

After waiting for a moment to see if any more information would be forthcoming, she realised she would have to ask each question. "Are they coming?"

Will shook his head sadly. "I'm afraid they are all tied up with a case so couldn't make it. I'm sure they will be by when they have a free day."

JJ knew that she should believe what Will told her and yet part of her couldn't accept his answers. She wondered if Hotch had been right about her taking those profiling courses after all. It might help her to work out what was going on with the man before her. She knew that there was one person who wouldn't be cleared for field work based on what she knew of the brunette's injuries from her own recall of events. "What about Emily?"

She watched as Will's previously open expression became instantly closed. The change in the atmosphere in the room was almost palpable. "I told you JJ, they are all on a case. In Oklahoma or somewhere that way."

"Have you got my cell? I just want to send Pen a message to let her know I've arrived safely here in…" She trailed off her sentence, hoping Will would supply her location.

"Your cell is in the evidence store. It hasn't been released yet."

"Would you mind if I borrowed yours so I can let her know?"

"I'm sorry JJ, I must have left it in the hotel. I realised when I got back here that it wasn't in my pocket. I would give them a call later to let them know how you are doing but when I offered earlier to do that, they said they'd just check in when they had wrapped up the case." Will looked down at the blonde and knew there were more questions she was about to ask. "I'd better not stay now as I need to get back to my phone in case the nanny phones. I'd hate to think of something happening to Henry and not knowing because I hadn't put him as my top priority. He's had enough worry for a little guy with nearly losing you." He bent down and placed a kiss onto JJ's forehead. "I'll see you in the morning."

Before JJ had a chance to respond, Will had turned and left the room, leaving her with her thoughts once more.


	24. Chapter 24

Disclaimer: Not mine.

AN: First of all many thanks to those who reviewed, they are much appreciated. My apologies for the delay in this chapter…I hope it was worth the wait. Enjoy :o)

Chapter 24

Emily approached the nursery door. There had only been a couple of occasions when the brunette had been to JJ's since Henry had been born. She pushed the door open and stepped into the darkened room. Using the light from the nightlight plugged into the wall, she made her way across to Henry's crib. When she came to a stop and looked down at him, she was greeted by wide tear filled blue eyes. His arms reached up from where he lay. Emily reached into the crib and gently lifted him up into her arms, drawing him close against her. She could feel his body tremble as his cries shook his body. His hands grabbed onto her shirt as he buried his head into her neck.

"Shhh…It's ok Henry. No need to cry." She felt his cries begin to subside as she spoke to him, her hand rubbing small circles on his back. She felt him begin to calm, his cries changing to a slower sniffle. Emily kept talking to Henry as she waited for the tears to completely stop. As she held him, Emily let her eyes wander around the nursery. She couldn't help the small smile that appeared on her lips as she spotted the border of soccer balls running all the way around the room. Her gaze then fell upon a wall of pictures that she hadn't seen before. She stepped closer to see them more clearly. There was a picture of Garcia with Henry is his leather jacket. The next one was of Morgan who had a big grin on his face as he lifted Henry high above his head. Further along was one with Reid who looked like he was holding a ticking bomb rather than a baby, the look on his face was one of mixed wonder and fear. Hotch was smiling in the next picture which had Henry holding Rossi's lip. Emily's smile faded as she came to the end of the pictures. She reached up and let her fingers trail over a small piece of plaster missing from the wall, a frown beginning to form.

Emily looked around the room to see if she could find the missing picture. Her attention fell upon the bin in the corner of the room, spotting the corner of a frame barely visible over the edge. She moved across the room to the bin and bent down to retrieve the picture. As she lifted it up, she took in the image within the frame. In the picture she was sitting on the couch with Henry curled up against her, fast asleep. She remembered when it had happened but didn't know anyone had a picture of it. She couldn't help but smile slightly at the image remembering how happy everyone had been that day. It had been at the baby shower Garcia had managed to organise between cases. Will had been off in New Orleans so it was just the team, their family. Emily placed the picture on the side as she sighed. She leant back slightly to look down at Henry who was settled quietly against her.

"You're good with him. Do you have children of your own?" The voice of the nanny snapped Emily out of her thoughts.

She glanced over to the door where the woman stood. "No."

"Well, when you do decide to have a family, looks like you'll make a good mom."

Emily walked back over to the crib to put Henry back down. She placed a gentle kiss on his head before lowering him back into his bed. She ran her hand through his hair to smooth it back down against his head and heard him sigh contentedly. "Maybe one day." She stood back up and turned her attention back to the nanny.

"I've got the number for you." She handed the profiler the piece of paper in her hand with Will's cell number on it.

Before she could respond, the sound of the phone ringing drew the attention of the nanny.

* * *

"JJ? Are you awake?" Will's voice came from the doorway.

The blonde considered ignoring him in the hope that he would think she was sleeping. There were so many thoughts running through her head about the whole situation she found herself in. Yet there was part of her that wanted to know why the man had returned before the morning. "Yes."

Will walked into the room and over to the bed where JJ lay. He went to take her hand but JJ moved her own away. "I thought you might like to talk to Henry."

JJ perked up and looked behind Will. "You brought him?" Her voice was hopeful.

"No." He saw the immediate deflating of the blonde woman at his word. "I thought you might want to talk to him. I know he can't talk back but you could just speak to him. It was a stupid idea, just…"

"No, I'd like that." JJ was struggling to get a handle on Will's behaviour. One moment he had moved her away from her team and refused to tell her where she was and the next he was offering her contact with her son.

Will smiled as he took his cell phone out and dialled. "Hi Mary. How is he?" He listened to the answer on the end of the phone. "JJ has woken up." He paused for a moment. "Yes, it is good news. Could you take the phone up to let her speak to Henry?" Another pause. "Thank you." Will put the cell onto speaker so that JJ didn't need to hold it up to her ear, knowing that she was still in pain from her injuries.

JJ heard a voice she didn't recognise come through the speaker which she assumed to be the nanny. "Henry, there's someone on the phone who wants to talk to you." She waited for a moment until she heard quiet breathing on the end of the line.

"Hey Henry, it's mom. I just wanted to let you know I'm ok and I'll be home soon. I've really missed you little guy." She could hear the sniffles that signalled the start of crying coming through the speaker and felt her own tears build. "Don't cry baby. I know I'm not there to hold you right now but I will be soon. I love you so much." She heard the sniffling develop into cries and felt her heart break at not being there to hold him. Her own tears spilled over at the knowledge that she wasn't able to comfort him from so far away.

"Shh Henry. Your mom is going to be back soon." The voice was distant, as if the speaker had moved away from the phone as she spoke.

She heard the crying subside almost instantly. She felt her pulse speed up as the realisation dawned on her as to who the voice belonged to. "Em?" She spoke the name tentatively, the fear that she was mistaken taking a firm hold.

"Agent Prentiss came over to ask some questions about the case and she really has a way with little Henry. Gets him to stop crying in an instant."

Will lifted the phone to his ear as he turned the speaker off. He turned from JJ's bed and started to make his way out of the room. "Will! Wait, let me talk to Emily." JJ tried to sit up in the bed but was rewarded with a flash of pain that made the room grey out on her for a moment. She collapsed back to the bed as she watched his figure leave the room, taking with him the only means of communication with the brunette.

* * *

Emily had stood quietly as she listened to JJ's voice come through the phone. While she wanted to speak, she didn't want to surprise the blonde as she had no idea on her condition. She was content to listen to the blonde's words to her son. When Henry started to cry, she could hear the emotion in JJ's voice. She knew that the younger woman was struggling with her own tears as she tried to comfort him through a phone line. Unable to just stand back and let them both suffer, she stepped over to the crib and lifted Henry back into her arms.

"Shh Henry. Your mom is going to be back soon." She'd moved away from the crib before speaking, not wanting to be heard by either JJ or Will. She repeated her earlier actions and felt the baby settle once more. Then she froze as she heard JJ's voice come through the phone.

"Em?" She could hear the doubt in the blonde's voice. She wanted so much to say something but the nanny began speaking first.

"Agent Prentiss came over to ask some questions about the case and she really has a way with little Henry. Gets him to stop crying in an instant." The woman smiled over at the brunette as she spoke.

"Will! Wait, let me talk to Emily." JJ's voice held an edge of desperation. It was enough to snap Emily out of her shock. She took the couple of steps across the room but came to a stop at the sound of Will's voice.

"Let me talk to Agent Prentiss."

Emily took the phone in her free hand as she turned the speaker off so that the nanny wouldn't hear what Will said. "Where is she?"

"That is none of your concern. Just like my son's welfare is none of your concern. Listen very carefully to me. I want you out of my house. As soon as I hang up here I want you to leave and not go back. You are to have no contact with my son do you understand?" His voice didn't even attempt to conceal the contempt he clearly felt for the brunette.

"Is that what JJ wants?" Emily kept her voice level, knowing that the nanny was still behind her.

"I'm the one who is looking out for JJ now. I'll certainly do a better job than you. I wouldn't have let Foyet touch her from the moment I was in the same room as him, unlike you. You nearly let her die and I will not stand by and let you put her in that situation again. As soon as she is better we're moving far away from the BAU, the serial killers and you."

"We're going to find JJ and then tell her what you have planned."

"JJ knows. We planned this together. We are a family and she doesn't want to risk not seeing her son grow up because of a job. Why do you think she wanted to talk to you?" Without waiting for an answer he continued. "She was going to tell you she is leaving but I don't want you to try and convince her otherwise when she is still recovering. We've talked about this a lot and she made her decision."

"She would have said something." Emily's voice still held the confidence despite the fact that it was fast vanishing from her mind.

"Surely the fact that she hasn't called any of you since waking up is proof enough. She's not locked away in some prison you know. There are phones but she has chosen not to call. That should tell you everything you need to know." He paused to see if Emily would respond but heard nothing. "Just leave Agent Prentiss."

Emily heard the dial tone in her ear as Will hung up. His words still echoed in her mind. Her own doubts were back. Will was right, JJ hadn't called any of them since waking up. From the sound of her voice, she had been awake for more than a few minutes. Emily began to wonder if JJ really had made the decision that her job was too much of a risk now she had Henry to worry about. If she was honest, she wouldn't blame the blonde for walking away after what had just happened. She handed the phone back to the nanny before turning to the crib. She placed a kiss on Henry's head once more and lowered him into the bed. "Take good care of him." With those words, the brunette turned and left making her way down the stairs and out of the house. Her mind awash with confusion about the situation she now found herself in.

Emily let her eyes glance over the number she still held in her hand. All of a sudden she no longer knew if she should pursue the blonde, wondering if her own desires were clouding her judgement of the situation. She put the paper back in her pocket and made her way back to the street.

* * *

Will walked back into the room and was immediately greeted with JJ's voice. "Let me talk to Emily." Her voice was cold and left no room for arguments.

"JJ, I don't…"

"No Will. No more excuses, just give me the phone so I can call her."

Will looked at the blonde for a moment before handing her the phone. "I don't think this is a good idea."

"Why not?" JJ keyed in the brunette's cell number.

"JJ, she didn't ask to talk to you when she knew you were awake. She didn't even mention that she was there when you spoke to Henry. She's had plenty of chances to call and speak to you and she passed them all up. Maybe she…Never mind."

"No say it. Maybe she what?"

Will took a step closer to the blonde and dropped his head. "Maybe she blames you for everything that happened with Foyet. Maybe she holds you responsible for everything that happened and the choices you made."

JJ stared at him as her own fears were spoken aloud by someone else. She had managed to convince herself that nobody would blame her but the evidence was starting to say otherwise. None of the team had called or visited. They had all moved on to a new case without sparing her another thought. She pressed the call button and waited.


	25. Chapter 25

Disclaimer: Not mine.

AN: First of all, thank you to all those who reviewed...They are always greatly appreciated. Secondly, my apologies for the big delay in getting this chapter written. Real life took over thanks to the incompetent muppet in my department leaving me with his mess to clear up. I hope this was worth the wait. Enjoy :o)

Chapter 25

Emily felt her cell vibrating in her pocket as she walked down the sidewalk to her car. She pulled it out of her pocket and glanced at the display. A slight frown appeared as the unrecognised number flashed on her screen. Part of her felt a sense of deja vu as she looked at the numbers. She reached into her other pocket retrieving the slip of paper the nanny had handed her as realisation dawned. As she glanced at the two sets of numbers she knew who was calling. Her thumb moved over the keypad to the answer button and she paused.

* * *

JJ refused to look up at Will. She could feel his eyes watching her for any reaction. Every second that passed signalled another ring that went unanswered. The longer she waited, the more she began to doubt Emily wanted to talk to her. The brunette always answered her phone promptly but not this time. Part of the blonde wanted to hang up and call when Will wasn't there to eavesdrop on her conversation. Yet she knew that once she put the phone down, he would take it with him just in case the nanny called. JJ listened to the ring once more before hearing the sound that made relief flood through her body.

* * *

Emily stared back at the display for a moment longer before her thumb moved and pushed the button it hovered above.

* * *

"Hi."

As soon as JJ heard the word she spoke. "Em, it's..." JJ's voice died in her throat as the brunette's voice continued.

"You have reached SSA Emily Prentiss. I'm unable to take your call right now but leave your name and number and I'll return the call at my earliest opportunity."

JJ listened to the message play out as the relief that she had felt was washed away by the sadness at only hearing a recording of the other woman's voice. She sighed sadly before hanging up the call. Perhaps Will had been right about Emily holding her responsible for the situation with Foyet.

"I'm sorry JJ. Maybe she was driving or something." Will spoke, his voice held an air of sadness. He placed his hand onto hers in a comforting gesture as he spoke. "Are you going to be ok?"

JJ merely nodded, not feeling inclined to talk to him at that point in time. She felt him withdraw his hand from hers.

"I'll be back in the morning. Try to get some rest." With that he turned and left the room. It was only after she heard the door click shut that she realised that he had taken the cell with him as he withdrew his hand from hers. JJ turned her head to look towards the window in the room as she let her own guilt and the feelings of isolation consume her.

* * *

Emily put the phone back into her pocket. If there was one thing she couldn't deal with right then it was another earful from Will LaMontagne. She had considered answering the call and demanding Will let her talk to JJ but she knew the man would not grant her demands. Until she knew where the blonde was, there was no way around the former detective. She just hoped that when the team managed to locate the younger woman, the blonde would decide that staying with the team was where she belonged. Emily felt the phone vibrate twice, telling her she had a voicemail. She ignored it as she opened her car and drove away from JJ's house.

* * *

Emily knocked on the wooden door of Garcia's apartment and waited for the blonde to answer. Her mind had been continually replaying the events of the past day since she got back into her car. The feelings of loss seemed greater now she knew JJ was awake somewhere but not willing to talk to her. The door opened to reveal the quirky blonde.

"Em! Where have you been? Are you ok? We were worried." Garcia reeled off the stream of questions without giving the brunette a chance to answer.

Emily looked at her friend and didn't know what answer to give to the question of if she was ok. She might be holding it together but if she stopped to actually consider her feelings and her thoughts fully then she couldn't guarantee that would remain the case. She chose to ignore the questions at that point and focus on the one thing she knew would keep her from drifting down into her own doubts and fears. She reached into her pocket and pulled the number out, extending her hand towards Garcia. "Can you trace this cell?"

Garcia took the slip of paper from her and glanced down. As she raised her eyes to meet her friend's gaze, her unspoken question was answered.

"It's Will's cell and he is with her."

Garcia's expression was replaced by a smile at that moment. She pulled Emily into an impromptu hug. "Emily Prentiss...You are a genius." She released her friend from her embrace. She made her way back over to her computer as she spoke. "You just gave us the way to find our girl." As soon as she was seated, she began typing. A few moments later, she sat back in her chair. "Voila...One cell phone location and the only private medical facility within twenty miles is Grace Health Care."

"Let's go." Morgan stood from his seat on the couch as he spoke, ready to get in the car and stop sitting around waiting.

"I'm coming too." Garcia stood and made her way over to where the others stood. "I am not sitting here to wait for another phone call. I'm fast developing a dislike of that particular invention."

Before they could move out of the apartment, Emily felt her phone vibrate once more. She contemplated leaving it unanswered once more but curiosity got the better of her. She lifted the phone out of her pocket. As she read the display, her eyebrows drew together in confusion. She pressed the answer button before lifting the cell to her ear. "Hello?"

Garcia and Morgan both watched their friend as she listened to the voice on the phone, both intrigued to know who was calling.

"Yes. What can I do for you?" There was quiet as Emily listened to the reply from her caller. Her expression changed from confusion to anger once more as she listened to the words from the other person. "Can you meet me?" Emily then gave the address of Garcia's apartment to the caller before hanging up the cell. She turned to meet the enquiring gazes of her friends.

* * *

JJ had tried to sleep but found it eluding her once more. Part of her wondered if after spending time in a coma, that her body was simply too rested to allow further sleep. Yet the greater part knew that the truth of the matter was that her mind was in no state to relax. Ever since she had called to speak to Emily and had the brunette fail to answer her call, her mind had been filled with questions and doubts. Everything that had happened in the past few days ran in circles in her mind. As she glanced at the clock once more, she wished that she was able to sleep, if only to escape the thoughts of having created an irreparable rift in her relationship with Emily.

* * *

A knock at the door roused the three agents from their conversation. Emily was the one who stepped over to the door to answer it. As soon as the door was opened, they were greeted with a middle aged man and woman. Even if Garcia and Morgan hadn't been told who was coming to the apartment, one glance at the couple would have answered their question.

"Agent Prentiss?" The woman asked as she regarded the dark haired woman at the door.

"Emily. These are Agents Derek Morgan and Penelope Garcia who are also with the BAU." Emily gestured to her friends.

The woman nodded before stepping into the apartment at Emily's gesture. "Could one of you please tell us what is happening with our daughter?"

Emily took a breath as she motioned for the couple to take a seat. "What do you know?" She didn't want to spend time going over details they were already aware of when they could be making their way to where they believed JJ to be.

"We got the call from Agent Hotchner telling us what had happened with Jenny and we got here as soon as we could. We just arrived at the hospital and were told Jenny has been moved to a private facility by her husband. I told the hospital that Jenny wasn't married but they refused to believe it. I tried calling Will on several occasions and I've left him messages but he hasn't replied. Where is our daughter?"

Emily and Garcia shared a look before the brunette spoke. "Will moved her to a private facility while JJ was still unconscious. He has refused to let us have access to visit her."

"Why?" JJ's dad asked the question as soon as he heard of Will's restrictions on who was allowed to see his daughter.

Emily took a deep breath before answering. "He blames us for JJ being taken."

JJ's father watched the expressions that crossed the brunette's face as she answered his question before hearing his wife ask another.

"Do you know where she is?"

"We traced Will's cell phone and we believe she is at a private medical facility. We are just about to leave to go there as soon as the rest of our team arrived."

"Is she...I mean, do you know how she is?" JJ's mom's voice was quiet as she spoke, the concern clear in the tone.

"She's awake." At Emily's quietly spoken words, Garcia and Morgan snapped their attention to their friend, hearing the news for the first time. As they took in Emily's body language, they knew that for whatever reason, the brunette hadn't spoken to the blonde. Emily kept her attention on the floor at that time, not willing to meet the looks she knew her friends were giving her. When the silence extended, Emily excused herself to get some fresh air while they awaited the arrival of Hotch and the others.

* * *

Emily sat on the steps out the front of Garcia's apartment block and closed her eyes, trying to quash the emotions threatening to engulf her.

"She won't blame you."

Emily spun at the sound of the voice coming from her side. Her eyes landed on JJ's dad sitting on the step beside her. "How do you know?" Her voice was quieter than she had intended, betraying her own doubt about that particular topic.

"I remember her coming home after a case a few years back. It's something that she has only done a few times in all the years in her job. Usually she just comes home and doesn't talk about it. This one time was different. She asked me how relationships survive these experiences that are so devastating in one way or another that it is easier to blame the other person for mistakes that were made."

Emily listened to what was said and tried to think of which case JJ had been speaking of but gave up when she realised there were so many that could fall into this category.

"She asked me why we didn't blame her for her sister's death."

Brown eyes looked over at the gentle face of the man beside her as he continued to speak.

"She always thought that since she was the last one to see her sister that she was somehow responsible. She really thought that her mother and I blamed her for not knowing something was wrong and not stopping it." He paused for a moment as he sighed at the memory sadly.

"What did you tell her?"

"That sometimes things happen that are beyond the control of anyone on Earth. That you can't allow these trials to destroy the love you have for someone else." The two sat quietly for a moment as JJ's dad let his words sink in with the other agent. He glanced at her expression and could still see the doubt there. "Do you blame Jenny for what happened to you?"

Emily's eyes grew wide. "Not at all."

"Why?" He watched as Emily opened her mouth to speak a couple of times before closing it without any words. He smiled gently at the young woman beside him before placing a hand on her shoulder. "It's for that very reason that I know Jenny won't blame you either." He gave her shoulder a gentle squeeze before making his way back inside the apartment.

Emily didn't have a chance to pursue the topic any further as she saw a SUV pull up outside the building and the rest of the team climb out.


	26. Chapter 26

Disclaimer: I don't own them...unfortunately.

AN: First of all, massive apologies for the huge delay in posting. My life has been insane in recent weeks. Hopefully things will begin to settle down a bit now giving me some time to write again. Thank you to all those who reviewed or sent me a PM...I hope this is worth the wait. Enjoy. :o)

Chapter 26

Hotch climbed out of the SUV, closely followed by Reid and Rossi. As the trio made their way over to the steps of Garcia's apartment block, Emily stood to meet them. As soon as Hotch was close enough, he reached out and placed his hand on her shoulder in a comforting gesture.

Hotch read the unasked question on the brunette's face. "This is more than a team, we are a family and we look after our own." Emily reached her hand up to rest against his briefly in a silent thanks for not only his presence but also for the words of reassurance that she needed to hear. "Let's get the others and make a move." He gave a gentle squeeze of her shoulder before turning his attention to the others now filing out of the building.

As they made their way towards the SUVs, Emily stopped them. "Wait, there's something we need to do before we go." As the assembled group turned to the brunette, she explained her plan before they all divided up into the three vehicles and setting off. Each offering their own silent prayers that in the next few hours their nightmare would come to an end.

* * *

JJ found herself staring at the ceiling of the room for what felt like an eternity. She turned her head to glance at the red digits on the clock beside her. She sighed and shifted as best she could in the bed without causing herself too much pain. Normally when she couldn't sleep she would just get up and either go for a run or read through some of the case files that were always within reach. Lying there in the sterile hospital room, she had neither option available to her. Glancing over at the clock again she noticed the TV remote, shifting slightly towards the edge of the bed to be able to reach it. She started the flick through the channels, hoping to find something to take her mind off all of the events of recent times enough to allow her to get some sleep. Her thumb stopped as a voice that she would never be able to forget echoed through the room. Her whole body frozen with the exception of the shake now clear in her hands.

"...thought the pain of the knife as it sliced into my skin was the worst pain imaginable. I was wrong. I had to watch as the life drained out of my girlfriend right in front of me. All I could do was watch as her blood stained her shirt, slowly spreading out until it was covered. The tears slipped from her eyes as she begged me to make it stop. I can still hear those cries at night, still see the whole scene play out in my mind."

JJ could feel herself breathing rapidly and her heart pounding in her chest. She fumbled to try to turn the TV off but managed to drop the remote due to the shake in her hands.

"It was years later that the FBI's elite team from the behavioural analysis unit finally discovered that George Foyet was in fact not a victim of the Reaper but the Reaper himself. The story of the Reaper didn't end there however. Despite being arrested and placed into custody, Foyet escaped and vanished for months before finally resurfacing here in Virginia. While we still don't know the full details of what transpired between his escape and tonight, we do know that there are more bodies to identify and two federal agents are left fighting for their lives. After the break we will be taking a look at what we have managed to piece together about the reign of the Reaper."

JJ turned to the door as it opened and a nurse came rushing into the room. "Mrs LaMontagne? Are you ok?" The nurse came over to the bed and checked the machines readings, taking in the look on the blonde patients face.

"Turn it off." JJ managed to get out through her rapid breaths.

The nurse frowned in confusion for a moment before noticing the TV playing and the remote that had fallen onto the edge of the bed. She lifted the control and shut the TV off. "I need you to calm down Mrs LaMontagne. You are putting a lot of stress on your lungs."

JJ shook her head and tried to sit up. "I...I need to get out. I need...to see..." She was stopped as the nurse restrained her as gently as she could while pushing the call button.

As soon as the doctor came into the room, the nurse informed him of the situation. "Mrs LaMontagne you really need to calm down or I'll have to sedate you."

"No...I need...to...I need..." She struggled against the arms holding her down. The next thing she is aware of is a sharp pain in her arm. Glancing down she saw the needle being withdrawn and almost instantly started to feel her limbs growing heavy and the room fading. "Em...need..."

"She's ruptured her stitches. We're going to need to take her..." JJ couldn't hear the rest of what the doctor said as the darkness claimed her once more.

* * *

The vehicles pulled up on the quiet street. Emily was the first out and made her way up to the door before knocking. She saw a light go on and waited for the door to open.

"Agent Prentiss?" The confused voice of the nanny who had obviously just been woken by her knocking at the door.

"Mary, I'm sorry to wake you at this hour but we have come to take Henry to see JJ."

The nanny frowned. "Mr LaMontagne hasn't called to tell me you were coming by. I need to call him to check first."

Emily was about to speak when she felt an hand rest on her arm. She glanced back and met the same blue eyes as JJ accompanied with a gentle shake of the head. As she turned back to the door she noticed the nanny had stepped inside to retrieve the phone to call Will. The brunette steeled herself for what she knew was coming.

"Mr LaMontagne? It's Mary. I'm so sorry to wake you but I have Agent Prentiss..." She stopped speaking as Will said something to her before making her way to the doorway. "He'd like to speak with you." She handed the phone to the agent.

"Will."

"I told you to leave and to not come into my family's life again Agent Prentiss. If you think that you can flash your badge and kidnap the baby you are mistaken. I'll call the police if you dare to set foot inside that house and lay a finger on him. Do you understand me?" His voice held a level of contempt that took Emily by surprise.

Before Emily could respond, JJ's father took the phone from her hand. "William?"

"Yes, who is this?"

"This is George Jareau, Jenny's father." He paused for a second as he heard an intake of breath on the end of the line. "I don't know everything that is going on here but I do know that my grandson will be better off with us than a nanny."

"Mr Jareau, I hired the best nanny to take care of Henry while I spent my time caring for JJ. I know you want to look after the baby but..."

"Let me stop you there. My Jenny was nothing if not prepared for any situation. I have in my hand right now the legal papers that grant myself and my wife Henry's powers over Henry should anything happen to Jenny. So I will be taking my grandson tonight and his family will look after him. Is that clear enough?"

"I'm his father. You can't just take away my rights as his parent."

"Actually William, the moment you walked out of the BAU offices and left Henry there without any word about when you would return and neglected his care for those few short days was the final straw. Jenny had already compiled a file which was passed to the family court judge for an emergency petition of care to be transferred from the parents to us and it was granted. So as I said, we will be taking our grandson with us."

"I'll appeal this."

"You are entitled to do that when the court reopens at 9am. Now, where is Jenny?" He listened as there was a click and then the sound of the dial tone in his ear. He handed the phone back to the nanny. "I'm terribly sorry that you are caught up in this mess Mary. Here are the papers from the court granting my wife and I temporary guardianship of Henry until such a time that his mother is well enough to resume her responsibilities." He passed the papers over from his pocket to the stunned looking nanny.

Mary took the papers and glanced at them. Deciding that they looked real and did say that the Jareau's had been awarded guardianship over Henry she stepped back to allow them in, handing the papers back to Mr Jareau as he entered.

"I'll help you pack a bag for him."

Emily nodded and followed the nanny up to Henry's nursery. The pair set about packing some clothes and other important items into the bag that JJ kept for when she took Henry away. "There's more going on here than I know isn't there Agent Prentiss?"

The brunette turned to meet the other woman's gaze. "Far more than I could explain right now."

As the nanny zipped up the bag, she watched as Emily reached into Henry's crib and lifted him out into her arms. As she started to make her way out of the room, she paused and turned to look at the other woman. "Thank you for looking after him. He was in good hands." Emily watched as a small smile appeared on the nanny's face before making her way down the stairs to meet the others.

* * *

"What happened?" Will's voice echoed around the quiet hospital room.

"The nurse came to check on your wife when the alarms connected to her monitors started to sound. She found her in a state of panic. We tried to calm her down but it was to no avail. She managed to tear her stitches in her struggle and so we had no choice but to sedate her." The doctor explained the events of the evening to the former detective.

"What set her off? She was fine when I left here earlier." Will could feel his anger rising at the way events seemed to be spiralling out of his control.

"The TV. There was something on the TV." Will turned to face the nurse that had spoken, waiting for more. "I don't know what was on, it was just commercials when I came in."

Will turned his attention back to the bed where JJ rested seemingly peacefully. "What happens now?" His voice became calmer as he looked at the blonde.

"We repaired her stitches but due to the extensive damage caused by her injuries, we need to take her for a scan to ensure there was no further damage caused in her struggles." The doctor paused for a moment. "Assuming the scan comes back clear then we can bring her back to her room but we need to consider how we can prevent any further complications."

Will turned to meet the doctor's gaze. "What are you suggesting?"

"If your wife demonstrates similar behaviour again then we might have to consider putting her into a sedated state until her injuries have healed sufficiently. I also suggest that she has a psych consult to assess her current mental state and determine the cause of the panic attack."

Will nodded at the doctors words. "Whatever you think is best."

The doctor reached over to take the clipboard from the nurse. "If you could sign these then we can organise the transport over to the local hospital for her scan."

Will took the board and signed the forms. As he handed them back to the doctor, he waited until he was left in the room alone with her. He brushed some strands of hair out of her face, allowing his fingers to run across the pale skin of her cheek. "I know you might not believe me but all this is for the best JJ. I'm sure that once you have spoken to the psychiatrist then he will agree that it is in your best interests to find an alternative career far away from all those people who let this happen." Leaning down, he placed a kiss on her forehead. "We will be able to start again JJ, just me and you."


	27. Chapter 27

Disclaimer: Still don't own any of them.

AN: Once again, my apologies for the huge delay in posting. Good news...This one is a bit longer. Bad news...I'm going away for 2 weeks tomorrow so won't post until after that. I will put the 10 hour flight to good use and write though. Thank you to all those who have read and reviewed, they really are greatly appreciated and keep me writing. Enjoy :o)

Chapter 27

The start of the drive had been relatively quiet with each member of the respective vehicles lost in their own thoughts about the situation they now found themselves in.

"We're nearly there." Morgan spoke from the driver's seat as they pulled off the interstate.

"Just wait until I get my hands on that Cajun creep." Garcia's voice clearly held the contempt she felt for the former detective. "Jayje should have let me wipe his existence off the cyber world when he first started all this."

"What if this is what she wants?" Emily's voice was quiet, revealing the uncertainty she had about the situation.

"What do you mean Em?" Garcia turned in her seat to face the back seat where the brunette agent was sitting, her gaze focused on the sleeping baby in the car seat beside her.

Emily was quiet for a moment as she watched Henry sleep, her thumb gently running over his tiny knuckles on the hand that had been gripping her finger since they left JJ's house. She let a quiet sigh escape her lips before speaking. "What if she doesn't want this life anymore? She has a family now and her job nearly cost her the chance to see her son grow up. We all do this job knowing the risks to ourselves and look at us." She paused for a moment and turned her attention to the blonde in the front seat. "Hotch and Rossi both divorced. Hotch couldn't even see his son as a result of his job. The rest of us fail to even maintain any form of romantic relationship long enough for it to become serious."

"You think Jayje could just walk away from the BAU?" Garcia knew that everything Emily had said was right. Their jobs didn't leave them with many opportunities to establish relationships and those that they did form, soon suffered as a result of the job. She'd been there to witness how the job had torn apart Hotch's family. Her own life had ended up on the line as a direct result of her job and personal life crossing paths. She understood what Emily was saying and yet, she couldn't believe that any of their team, their family, could walk away from one another.

"Yes. The rest of us...We all have something that drew us here, events in our past that led us to the BAU. The same things that keep us from quitting when it gets hard. JJ doesn't have that. She could transfer to another department and have a 9-5 life with her family. Know that every morning when she kisses Henry goodbye, it will only be for a few hours and not wondering when she will next see him again."

"You're wrong Em." Garcia had watched her friend as she spoke. The emotions clearly expressed in her eyes, torn between understanding and sadness. She saw the brunette agent shake her head and open her mouth to argue. "She does have a reason to do it every day. Nobody accidentally ends up at the BAU. You know that as well as I do."

Emily thought about what event there could have been in the young blonde's life that would draw her to the BAU. She knew the blonde had never told her anything explicit. Despite how close they both were, neither liked talking about their past much. Each preferring to remain in the present and contemplate their futures. Then it hit her. "Her sister?" Garcia nodded. "There's more to it than her having committed suicide isn't there?"

Garcia nodded once more. "Believe me when I tell you she had her reasons for joining the BAU too. That's why she won't leave."

Emily turned her attention back to Henry as he shifted in his seat slightly. "When did she tell you?"

"Remember the case in Wyoming with the teenagers who were committing suicide?" Seeing the brunette nod, she continued. "After we got back from that case, she asked me to look into her sister's death. There is still an open case file linked to it based on findings from the autopsy. She's still looking for her closure, just like Rossi was."

Emily was quiet again as she processed everything Garcia had just told her. Part of her wanted to believe that JJ wouldn't leave the team and that she had a reason like the rest of them to keep doing the job despite the horrors they faced on a daily basis. However, she also knew that sometimes an event will change your view on the world. She knew that Garcia would not change her belief that JJ would stay with the BAU. Yet she also knew that Rossi had left the BAU for a long time without having a resolution to the case that haunted him.

"We're here." Morgan's voice cut off any further conversation on the subject as they pulled up to the gates of the private hospital Garcia had located JJ in.

* * *

JJ opened her eyes slowly, the lids feeling heavy despite her just waking up. She blinked a couple of times before taking in her surroundings. A slight frown creased her brow as she failed to recognise the room she found herself in. She went to lift her arm to push herself up slightly in the bed to get a better view but found herself unable to move properly. She shifted slightly to be able to look down at her arms. The frown on her face deepened as she took in the sight of wrist restraints holding her arms down against the bed.

"JJ?"

She turned to the sound of the voice and saw Will sitting in the corner of the room. He stood and made his way over to the side of the bed, reaching up to brush a stray strand of hair back behind her ear. "They are just a precaution. You had to come back to the hospital for a scan to check on your injuries. I'll get the doctor and let him know you are awake." His voice was gentle as he spoke. She watched as he turned and walked out of the room.

* * *

Hotch walked over to the intercom beside the main gate and pushed the buzzer.

"How can I help you?" A voice asked through the intercom.

"We're here to see Agent Jennifer Jareau."

There was quiet for a moment before the voice sounded once more. "I'm sorry sir but we don't have a patient here by that name."

"She might be registered under Jennifer LaMontagne." Garcia spoke quietly to Hotch who then repeated the name into the intercom. They were once again greeted by silence for a moment.

"Can I ask who you are?"

"Agent Hotchner, I'm her unit chief at the FBI."

"I'm sorry Agent Hotchner but there is a request that only family be allowed to visit in light of the events that led to her admittance."

Hotch turned to the others in the group before stepping away from the intercom system. Once he had stepped back, Mr Jareau stepped forward and spoke into the microphone. "Ma'am, my name is James Jareau, I am Jenny's father. Her mother and son are here with me."

"Mrs LaMontagne's family can be admitted but I'm afraid the others will have to wait outside the facility."

"These people with me are family to Jenny. They may not be blood but they are more of a family than many of those related by blood."

There was quiet on the intercom for a moment. "They'll have to wait in the reception area until Mrs LaMontagne gives her consent to seeing them." The intercom clicked off and was followed by the main gate opening and granting them access to the facility.

* * *

"Good evening, Jennifer. My name is Dr Cole. Is it ok if we talk for a while?" Seeing her nod, he continued. "Do you know where you are?"

"In the hospital."

"Do you know why you are here?"

"Will said I needed a scan."

The doctor nodded. "Do you know why you needed a scan?"

JJ just shook her head.

"What is the last thing you remember before you woke up?"

The blonde thought for a moment, finding her thoughts quite jumbled and fuzzy initially. Slowly, they started to become clearer. The doctor and nurse talking and the needle that made her lose consciousness. She furrowed her brow as she tried to remember, her voice coming out slowly as the images emerged. "The doctor and nurse talking about my stitches. They gave me an injection."

"Do you know why they gave you an injection?"

JJ shook her head.

"Take a minute and think back."

JJ closed her eyes and tried to sort through her memories. She knew she had wanted to speak to Emily. Then it hit her. Her eyes flew open as the memories flooded back to her. She could feel her pulse racing and her breathing start to speed up again. "Foyet. I heard him. His voice. I couldn't make it stop. I just...I just...I needed..."

"Jennifer, I need you to calm down. Just take deep breaths. There's nobody here that will hurt you. You're safe here."

"No. I need...Take these off." She pulled at the restraints holding her wrists down. "Please. Take them off. I need them off. Just let me go. Please let me go." Tears were streaming down her face as she kept repeating herself and pulling at the restraints.

The doctor looked at the machines and noted the increased struggles. He reached into his pocket and withdrew a syringe, injecting the contents into JJ's arm. He watched as her struggles lessened and the machines began to return to their normal rates. Once he was sure she was sedated once more he turned to face Will.

"I think that it will be best to keep Jennifer under a low level of sedation for the time being. She is still suffering emotionally from the events she has endured these past few days and at this time, she doesn't appear to have developed a sufficient coping mechanism to deal with everything. With the condition of her body and the extent of the injuries she experienced, it would be best to keep her sedated so she doesn't cause futher injuries to herself with her continuing struggles. Once her body has healed more, we can look at alternative means of working with her to help overcome these issues."

Will nodded as the doctor spoke. "Do whatever you think is best for her doctor. Thank you."

He waited as the doctor left and went to stand beside JJ once more. "Don't worry about anything JJ. I'll look after you and make sure that when you are well enough, we can start a new life together somewhere new and away from all of this." He leant down and placed a kiss on her forehead before making his way out of the room.

* * *

The group made their way over to the reception desk of the facility. "We're here to see Jennifer Ja...LaMontagne." Mr Jareau addressed the receptionist as he approached. Still struggling to not make a comment on the use of Will's surname being used in conjunction with his daughter. He had never got along with the young detective when they had met and knowing what he did now, made him even less keen on the man. He knew that it was a battle best left until he had more information on what Will had told them.

"She is due back soon from the hospital. If you could take a seat, I'll let you know when she arrives."

"Why is she at the hospital?" Garcia had stopped listening after those first words had left the woman's mouth.

The receptionist looked between the blonde woman and the man before her. Seeing him nod his agreement that she can tell them. "Mrs LaMontagne was taken in for a scan following an incident earlier tonight which resulted in her damaging some of her stitches."

Garcia's hand had automatically flown up to her heart upon hearing the further complications her friend had suffered. "Is she ok?"

"She was stabilised before she went for the scan. It was more a precaution due to the extensive injuries her body had already suffered to ensure no more damage had been sustained."

My Jareau nodded his thanks to the receptionist before placing his hand on Garcia's arm and leading her to the seating area to wait with the others. They all sat and awaited the return of JJ. Each feeling a minor sense of relief that they had finally found the blonde but also all too aware of the fact that they still had to deal with Will.

* * *

JJ was settled back into her bed and the machines were reconnected to allow them to monitor her condition. Will had watched quietly as the nurses had worked. Once everything was finished, he placed a gentle kiss on her forehead before turning to return to his hotel for the night. As he left the quiet corridor that held JJ's room, he heard his voice called by the receptionist. Before he could get there, he caught sight of a figure in front of him. As he opened his mouth to speak, the words were lost as he felt the sting of a hand slapping him across the face. His head was jarred to the side from the force. He raised his hand to feel the warmth already spreading from the point of contact. He let his eyes turn back to the woman before him.

"Don't you dare to ever try to take my best friend from me again." The venom in Garcia's normally caring voice made him inwardly cringe. He let his eyes travel around the rest of the assembled group as he squared himself and let his hand drop from his cheek. Had it just been the agents from the FBI, he would have been able to have them removed since they had no legal grounds to be there. As soon as his gaze fell upon JJ's parents he knew that he wouldn't be able to prevent them from seeing her.

Morgan had stepped over and placed an arm around Garcia's waist to partially offer support and partially prevent her from attacking the former detective further.

"JJ is sleeping at the moment. She had to be sedated since she is not coping with what she has been through." He addressed the whole group. His eyes landing on Emily as he reached the end of his sentence. "She had a panic attack earlier after remembering what had happened and managed to tear some of her stitches. The doctors are keeping her on a low level of sedation until her body has had a chance to heal. She'll be out until the morning but if you want to come back to see her then, you may."

He cast his attention between each member of the assembled group and got their acceptance before turning to leave. Knowing that nobody would be able to visit with the young blonde until morning.

The team agreed to return to the hospital in the morning to visit JJ.

* * *

As they arrived at the hotel, Mr Jareau pulled Emily to one side while Hotch organised rooms for them all.

"I wanted to ask you something Emily and please don't feel like you have to agree." He waited for her to nod before continuing. "I've seen how you are with Henry and I was wondering if you would look after him tonight?" The older man watched as the brunette let her eyes drift down to look at the baby she still held in her arms. His big blue eyes now looking up at her.

"Don't you want him with you?"

"We would always look after him but I think he'd prefer to spend the time with you." He paused for a moment as he watched a small smile appear on the woman's lips. "I think maybe you need to spend time with him too." When Emily looked back up into the older man's eyes, she saw a look of understanding reflected back at her from deep blue eyes.

"Thank you." She watched as James gently stroked his large hand across Henry's head, lightly ruffling his fine hair.

"Goodnight Emily, Henry."

Emily followed the others to their respective rooms before attempting to settle Henry into his travel crib. When she went to put him down, he gripped her shirt tighter, refusing to release the grip. She eventually gave up and made her way over to the bed, laying herself back on it with Henry settled on her chest. As soon as she settled back against the pillows she felt him relax. "Oh I see, you want to sleep here huh?" She smiled gently at the baby as he cuddled in closer to her. "Get some sleep Henry. When you wake up we'll go and see your mom." Placing a gentle kiss on his head, she watched as his blinks grew longer until he drifted off to sleep, his ear over her heart. It wasn't long until she joined him in sleep.

* * *

JJ woke the next morning slowly, feeling as if she was still partially asleep. She tried to wake herself up further and become more alert but she couldn't. Somewhere in the back of her mind she recalled someone talking about sedation. Her arms felt too heavy to try to lift so instead of keep battling it, she allowed herself to drift back to a restless sleep.

It didn't feel like she had been sleeping for long when she was aware of someone talking to her. She opened her eyes and was greeted with the image of a nurse opening the curtains to her room. She allowed her eyes to gaze out of the window, not listening to what was being said to her. Her mind replaying images from the previous few days.

* * *

The team had decided that Garcia and Emily would go with JJ's parents to the hospital that morning to avoid having too many people there. They were concerned about overwhelming the young woman after hearing about the situation she was in. The drive to the hospital had been a silent affair with all four people in the vehicle too focused on what condition the woman they all loved may be in when they finally saw her.

Once they were there, they had to wait while the nurses finished their morning rounds. Every moment that passed seemed to stretch for longer than it should. Finally, the nurse came to speak to them.

"Ok, she is ready now but only one of you at a time."

Emily and Garcia took a seat and waited while JJ's parents went to visit her, one after the other. Emily watched the expressions displayed by them as they exited the room. JJ's mom had come out and instantly broken down in tears in her husband's arms. Garcia had taken the woman from James to give him the chance to visit with his daughter. It was when the tall man came out that Emily knew she couldn't go in there yet. She had watched as had come out, obviously trying to maintain his composure and be strong for his wife. The red rim to his eyes gave away his true emotions. Seeing the older man who had been so composed and calm throughout the whole time, show signs of the strain made Emily worry about what she may find. She let Garcia go in next. Knowing that as time went on, it drew closer to her turn to see the blonde.

Her foot was tapping on the floor and her eyes kept moving from the floor to the door. She kept picking at her fingers as she waited, her hands unable to remain still. The door opened and she watched as Garcia came out and walked over to her. As she stood, Garcia pulled her into a hug which she hadn't been expecting. She half returned it but her eyes remained focused on the door over her friends shoulder. As Garcia released her, her feet began to carry her closer until her hand rested on the door handle. Slowly she took a deep breath and turned the handle.

* * *

JJ didn't move when the door opened. She hadn't acknowledged any of her visitors. She just didn't have the energy to talk to them, to explain what had happened. She couldn't even bring herself to look at them, knowing the pity she would see in their eyes. Knowing that they would all hold a pain of not being able to protect her and to have prevented this from happening. She just couldn't face that just yet.

"Jay?" That one word brought her out of her haze. The one voice she had longed to hear for so long. It was the voice that was meant to stop all the pain and nightmares. Instead, as she heard Emily's voice, she found the images of Foyet becoming stronger. She could feel herself begin to slip away into her nightmares.

"JJ?" Emily approached the bed after noticing the heart rate monitor increase slightly. Her eyes travelled down to the arm still restrained to the bed before her. She wanted to reach out and touch the blonde's hand but she didn't know how it would be received. "JJ, look at me." Her voice was quiet and yet held an edge of pleading. Hoping that she would receive a response from the younger woman. "Look at me Jay. I'm right here."

She watched as the blonde slowly turned her attention to face her. Her blue eyes slowly focusing on her face. Emily just looked into the blue eyes she had missed so much over the past few days. Eyes she didn't think she'd get the chance to look into ever again. Her voice deserted her, leaving her speechless as she stared at the blonde.

"I needed you." JJ's voice was barely above a whisper, the usually confident and cheery tone now replaced by a hollowness.

"I'm right here." Emily reached her hand out to touch the blonde's hand, hoping that the small action would provide an added reassurance.

JJ shook her head as she spoke. Her words were spoken slowly and quietly. "I needed you and you weren't there." She clenched her fist, effectively withdrawing from the brunette's touch. She let her head turn to face the window. Her next words were spoken so softly, Emily would have missed them had the room not been so silent. "You weren't there to stop it."

Emily felt her heart break at those words fall from the blonde's lips. It was the confirmation of what she had feared. JJ blamed her for not saving her. She had been too late.


	28. Chapter 28

Disclaimer: Still not mine...sadly.

AN: Ok, massive apologies for the huge delay in posting this. Life got a bit hectic and then I got hit with a serious case of writer's block. Big thanks to all those who reviewed and for all those that were concerned...I will finish this story...It just might take me a little while with everything I have going on. I'll try to update a bit quicker next time. Also this fic has been nominated for an award in the Profiler's Choice CM awards on Chit Chat on Authors Corner forum. Take a look at some of the great fics they have listed there.

This one is for T who gave me the inspiration to get over the block.

Enjoy :o)

**Chapter 28**

"You weren't there to stop it." The words echoed in Emily's mind. She watched as the blonde turned away from her, letting her gaze drop to their hands. Seeing the tightly closed fist, Emily let her eyes drift closed in defeat. Silently wishing that when she reopened them, the situation would have changed. Taking a deep breath and swallowing the lump that had appeared in her throat, she reopened her deep brown eyes, only to be met with the same sight. Her fingers flexed in momentary consideration of re-establishing the physical link between them but with one more glance at the blonde's turned away face, she allowed her shoulders to slump forward in defeat.

"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry." She could hear the tremor in her own voice as her emotions threatened to take control.

JJ shook her head at the words. "Don't." The word came out as little more than a whisper.

"I don't know what to do Jayj. I don't know how to make this better." Emily reached out for the blonde's hand and grasped it in a gentle grip.

A silence descended in the room, only broken by the sound of the machines monitoring the blonde's condition. "You can't." Upon hearing those words, Emily clenched her eyes shut in an attempt to stem the tears she could feel building.

"It takes time Jayj. I won't leave you to face it alone." The brunette could hear the pleading in her own voice. "I'm not going to let anything hurt you again."

JJ turned to face the brunette once more, her gaze falling on their joined hands. She allowed herself a moment to take in the feeling of the older woman's skin against her own. Allowed herself to feel the warmth that broke through the cold that had settled into her body upon hearing Foyett's voice. Her eyes traced up the arm until they finally came to settle on the brunette's face. JJ knew she needed to make eye contact with Emily for her to listen. "Every time I close my eyes, I'm back in that basement. Having to relive it all again. Reminding me of the pain I was experiencing and the pain I caused you." Seeing the brunette about the speak, JJ held up her hand to stop her. She knew she needed to say this now or she never would. She swallowed down the lump that had formed in her throat that threatened her ability to speak the words she needed to say. "I can't see you without thinking of him."

Emily wanted to say something that would make everything stop. She wanted to contradict the words the blonde agent was saying, tell her that she wasn't the one responsible for the pain caused by Foyet. She could feel JJ pulling away from her but she couldn't think of how to stop it.

"I need you to go." JJ slipped her hand out of the brunette's grip as the last word left her lips. She took a second to look into Emily's deep brown eyes once more, knowing the pain she could see there had been caused by her. Part of her wanted to take back her words, to take the pain away and just hold the other woman. Then the image of Foyet straddling the brunette as she lay motionless beneath him flashed into her mind and she knew that she had to finish what she started. She turned her head away from the brunette, severing the final connection between them. "Just go."

Emily turned towards the door, her head dropping as her eyes closed and a single tear slipped from under her closed lids. She fought to keep herself from breaking down there in JJ's hospital room. She clenched her teeth in an attempt to regain control of her emotions, taking a deep breath as she did so. Slowly she took the couple of steps remaining towards the door that would lead her out of the room and out of JJ's life. She placed her hand on the handle before turning her head slightly back towards the blonde. "JJ, I..." She paused as the lump in her throat strangled the words that were trying to form. "I meant what I said in that basement and that's why I'll go." Turning the handle, Emily opened the door and stepped out into the corridor. She took a few steps away from the door before she heard the click that signalled the closing of the door reached her ears. Her eyes closed as the tears finally spilled over, her arm reaching out to the wall to support her as she allowed the tears to fall.

JJ listened as the door was opened and Emily walked out. She closed her eyes and allowed her mind to recall the memories of the last moments they had spent in that basement.

_JJ watched Foyet's retreating figure as he left her and then she saw where he was heading. Her eyes fell upon the brunette who had managed to stand._

JJ's eyes shot open as the feeling of fear and panic flooded her body once more. She needed to look at the room around her to remind herself that she was safe, that she wasn't still trapped in that windowless room. After taking a couple of shaky breaths, she closed her eyes once more and returned to her memory.

_JJ wanted to say or do something but her body wouldn't respond. She tried to push herself up from the floor but she collapsed back as a new wave of pain rushed through her body from the small motion moving broken bones and tearing cuts. She could feel the tears slipping down her cheeks as she watched the scene unfold._

Tears began to slip from underneath closed eyelids as she remembered the feeling of utter helplessness as she watched Foyet approach the brunette.

_JJ had accepted that her end lay in this basement. That she wouldn't get to hold Henry again or tell those people closest to her how she felt. Seeing Foyet getting ever closer to the brunette, she just wanted to scream at him to stop but she knew that would only drive him on. Her body was broken and as her mind focussed on the fact that Emily wouldn't get out of there, her heart broke. She forced herself to look up to meet the brunette's deep brown eyes, hoping to communicate a fraction of what she needed to say in a look. The unguarded look in Emily's eyes was so unexpected that she felt her breath catch. In all the years they had known each other, not once had she seen the true Emily Prentiss. She watched as tears slowly fell from brown eyes, tracing a path down the pale skin of her cheeks. She knew the older woman was accepting she would meet her end at the hands of the man before her. JJ could feel her own head shaking, wanting the brunette to keep fighting. She was meant to be safe and away from him. _

JJ could feel her head shaking just as it had in the basement. The memory of those few minutes powerful enough to transport her back there. Part of her wanted to stop the memory, to just open her eyes and not see what happened next but she needed to see it. She needed to remember it to know she was doing the right thing.

_Her eyes caught a hint of movement from the brunette's lips and instantly drifted down to focus on them. Her eyes followed the movement of three words she had longed to hear from the older woman, 'I love you'. _

JJ choked down a sob that threatened to escape as she saw those words repeated in her mind. She knew that one word would be enough to bring the brunette back but she couldn't make herself speak. She had seen what could happen when you allowed yourself to care about people. She had to watch as those feelings were used to manipulate people and inflict the greatest pain possible. Foyet had gone after Emily because of her, because of what she had written. She couldn't risk someone else doing the same. Putting a distance between herself and Emily was the only way she could keep her safe.

* * *

Emily took a few deep breaths to steady her breathing before standing straight once more. She wiped the tears from her cheeks and built up the walls necessary to keep her emotions under control once more. With one final glance at the door to the blonde's room, she walked down the corridor to the waiting area.

As she entered the waiting room she was greeted by expectant looks from the three people sitting there. "Did she speak to you?"

Emily met the older woman's gaze and saw the hope in her eyes that there would be a positive response to her question. "Yes." She saw the relief wash across the face of the woman in front of her, watched as she grasped her husband's hand that bit tighter.

"What did she say? Is she ok?"

"She will be in time." Emily hoped that the question of what was said wouldn't be pushed. Before any further enquiries could be forthcoming, she stepped away from JJ's parents and made her way to the elevator. As the doors opened, she stepped inside and pushed the button for the ground floor, wanting and needing nothing more than to be outside of the walls of the hospital. Just before the doors closed, a hand shot through the doors causing them to open once more. Garcia stepped through them and into the elevator. The blonde woman stood quietly beside her friend as they descended to the ground floor. For the moment the quirky blonde knew the best approach was to remain quiet, knowing that the brunette would not talk in the confined space. As the doors opened, she followed the brunette out of the building to the nearest bench and sat next to her.

The two women sat in silence for a while before Garcia reached over and placed her hand on the brunette's arm. "What happened Em?"

As soon as Garcia's hand made contact with her arm, it served to remind her of what had just transpired between her and JJ. "It doesn't matter. I'm going to go." Emily moved to stand but was stopped from her escape by Garcia's firm grip on her arm.

"Don't do this Em. Don't put up those walls and run away."

The short bark of bitter laughter caught the blonde off guard. "Run away? Is that what you think I am doing? You think that just because it got hard that I'm packing up and running?" Her voice became louder with each word that passed her lips, the hurt manifesting itself as anger.

"Tell me what happened so I know." Garcia kept her voice calm and level knowing that Emily wasn't truly angry.

"You want to know what she said? She said that she can't look at me without seeing him. Do you know what that feels like? To know that the one person you want to protect from all the pain is actually caused the most pain just by seeing you. Do you know how it feels to know she blames me for what happened?"

"She doesn't blame you Em."

"Then why did she tell me to leave?"

Garcia felt the shock hit her upon hearing that JJ had told Emily to leave. She found herself at a loss for words.

"You just said it." Emily spun around at the sound of the former detective's voice. "You are the one to blame for what happened to her. The better question is why would she want you to stay when you are a constant reminder of what you let happen?"


	29. Chapter 29

Disclaimer: Not mine.

AN: I know it took me forever to post again. I am rubbish. I hope this makes up for the delay. I have already started typing the next chapter too so I'm hoping to get that posted and this fic wrapped up soon. Massive thanks to those who have taken the time to review or send me a pm...they really are what keep me writing. Enjoy :o)

**Chapter 29**

Emily turned to face Will, partially expecting to see some form of malice in his expression. The sight that greeted her was very different. There was no anger present, the only way to describe his expression was that of a sad understanding. Emily held his gaze for a moment before dropping her eyes to the ground in defeat.

"Em, don't..." Garcia's words were cut off by the brunette holding up a hand and the quiet sound of her voice.

"Stop Pen. Just...Just stop." Before the blonde had a chance to comment further, Emily dropped her hand and walked away from the pair and away from the hospital.

* * *

Garcia stood and watched as the brunette walked away from them, part of her attention on the man standing to her side. She watched as Emily turned the corner and vanished from sight. Out of the corner of her eye she caught sight of the smile that played on the former detective's lips as he watched the brunette agent walk away. She spun on her heel to face him as soon as she caught this movement.

"You..."

Will turned his attention back to the blonde before him. "Me what?" He waited for a response but was greeted by Garcia seemingly speechless. "You heard her, JJ told her she doesn't want to see her. JJ told her she is the reminder of what happened. Would you really have her ignore JJ's wishes and prevent her from being able to put her life back together?"

"We are her family. She needs us."

"What she needs is to have someone who will fight for her. Someone who can help her forget and not remind her of what happened every day. Someone who can protect her and not just sit by and watch as she is damn near killed. That person is not Emily Prentiss. I know it and she knows it. That's why she left isn't it?"

* * *

Garcia stood staring at the man before her. She couldn't believe that the man standing there saying such cold things was the same man JJ had a child with and lived with. The side to Will that was being displayed shocked her.

"Is Penelope Garcia really speechless?" His voice took on a mocking tone. "Can't argue with the truth can you? Sometimes the truth hurts but someone has to say it."

Garcia had watched as he made a move to leave. It was a split second decision. All the anger and hurt that she had been keeping buried to try to provide some strength for her friends came rushing to the surface. She drew her hand back and brought it down across his face with a slap that contained all the resentment she felt towards him. The sound echoed off the walls in the quiet quad. She watched as his hand went to his face as he turned to face her fully. She could see the cold anger reflecting in his eyes.

"That hurts. Did you think I would just stand here and let you do this to my friends? To my family? That you can say what you want to people and slowly destroy what little remains of them after what they went through? What gives you the right to interfere with their lives?" Her voice grew louder with each word as the anger over powered any remaining fragments of control. She advanced on the man before her. "You will not have the chance to do more damage." As she spoke the final sentence, her voice changed to a much colder tone, each word was stated clearly and slowly to emphasise the truth behind them.

Will stared at the woman before him, shocked that she had responded in this manner. The reaction had knocked him, surprising him.

She dropped her voice lower as she spoke her last words. "I don't know exactly what you have said but you'd better believe that when I find out, there will be consequences." Garcia turned on her heel and headed back into the hospital, leaving the former detective standing alone.

* * *

JJ stared up at the white tiles of the ceiling, attempting to quell the ache in her chest yet knowing it was futile. Knowing the only way that it could be stopped was to have Emily with her. It was a decision she had made to protect the brunette, even if the cost was living with constant ache in her heart. She would have Emily in her life as her friend and that was enough.

The sound of the door opening suddenly brought the blonde's attention to the entrance. Part of her silently hoping to see the brunette standing there, yet her eyes fell upon Garcia.

The quirky blonde strode over towards the bed and when she got there she stood staring at the blonde silently for a moment. Her eyes searching the younger blonde for answers to questions yet to be voiced. JJ was unable to look away from the penetrating gaze of her friend. The two women stared at one another in silence. Garcia reached out and took JJ's hand in hers gently.

JJ felt the warmth from Garcia's hand and was instantly reminded of the feel of Emily's hand against her own. She bit down on her lower lip to prevent the sob that threatened to escape as the memory flashed into her mind. She closed her eyes for a moment to keep control of her emotions. As she re-opened them, she was met with the tear filled eyes of her best friend.

"Why Jayje?" Garcia's voice was barely above a whisper as she asked the one question she had to know the answer to. She had heard what the young blonde had told Emily but she needed to hear it for herself.

JJ looked away from her friend's gaze and allowed her eyes to drift to the window as she composed herself, not wanting the emotions that were flooding through her body to betray her real motives to the other woman. "I can't go through it again."

"Go through what?"

JJ shook her head. "It doesn't matter." Her voice had become a whisper as she fought to maintain her control.

Garcia watched her friend for a moment before speaking. "It does matter. It matters to me." Garcia's voice broke slightly with the last words she spoke, she could feel the warm tears spill over onto her cheeks. JJ turned to look at her friend once more at the tone of her voice. "It matters because whatever it is, it's slowly tearing my two best friends apart."

JJ could feel a tear slip from her own eyes. "I don't expect you to understand but please believe me when I say it is for the best."

"I understand a lot of things Jayje. I understand that you two have been dancing round each other for years, each of you too afraid to make the first move. I understand that Emily let herself believe that telling you to go to Will would make you happy, even if the cost was her own happiness. I understand that when Will told everyone you were pregnant and engaged that you thought you had lost any chance you had with Em. I understand that each of you were willing to sacrifice themselves for the other. I understand all of that but you're right, I don't understand." Garcia paused for a moment, moving her hand to JJ's cheek where she brushed away the tears with the back of her hand gently. When she next spoke her voice was quiet. "I don't understand why you told her to go when you need her."

JJ opened her mouth to speak but couldn't find the words. Everything Garcia had said was the truth. With a shaky breath, the young blonde composed herself enough to speak. "You're right."

Garcia smiled triumphantly and started to pull her phone out of her bag as she spoke. "I'm always right. Now all you need to do is call her and tell her that everything was just a misunderstanding and then..."

"No."

Garcia stopped her actions with the phone part way out of her bag, her eyes drawn to her friend's face once more. Her smile replaced with a slight frown. "But...why?"

"You're right Pen, I do need her. I need her to be alive. I need her to be safe and I need her to never be in that situation again. I can't go through that again. I can't watch her sacrifice herself for me. She deserves so much more than that." JJ could feel the tears freely flowing down her face now but couldn't bring herself to stop them.

"Shouldn't that be her choice?"

JJ just shook her head. "I'd rather have her safe than risk anyone hurting her just because I loved her."

Garcia wanted to say so much more but knew that at that time, the blonde had made her mind up and that no amount of reasoning would get through to her. The older woman sighed in defeat, silently hoping that when the younger woman realised her mistake, it wouldn't be too late. The two women sat quietly, each lost in their own thoughts until a commotion outside the room drew their attention.

* * *

"Sir, only one person may visit at a time." The nurse called after Will as he made his way along the corridor. He was aware of the woman's voice but refused to stop in his mission. He knew that the time he had taken to gather himself after that confrontation with Garcia had cost him the chance to prevent the blonde from getting to JJ. He couldn't afford to have JJ start to doubt what he had said. He knew that he was playing a very delicate game trying to keep her doubting herself without pushing too far and letting her realise what he was doing. "Sir, you need to stop."

Just as he was about to make his way around the last corner that led to JJ's room, a figure appeared in front of him.

"Hold on there. You heard the lady, only one visitor at a time and Garcia is in there at the minute." Morgan stood directly in the former detective's path, effectively blocking him from continuing.

"Step aside Morgan and let me see JJ." He tried to step around the taller man but was met by an arm stopping him.

"I said Garcia is in there, you can wait." The tone of his voice should have made it clear that this was not a topic for discussion.

Will stared at the agent for a moment, trying to keep his anger under control. "What is it with you people? You sit back and let some sick bastard kidnap her and then try to kill her but her fiancé tries to visit her in hospital and you stop that?"

Morgan ground his teeth together to stop himself lashing out at the man before him. "So its fiancé now is it? Because you have told everyone here it is husband."

"Whatever I am it is more than you. You are just someone she used to work with who puts procedure above her life."

Morgan grabbed the young detective by the front of his shirt and slammed him into the wall beside them, their faces mere inches apart.

"Morgan, let him go." Garcia's voice echoed from down the hall, her tone drawing him out of the intense stare that he was directing at the man before him. However, his grip didn't falter. "Derek, don't let him get to you too." Garcia's voice was right beside him this time, her hand gently placed on his arm. He stared at the man in front of him for a moment longer before roughly dropping his grip and stepping back.

Will brushed the front of his shirt off and then turned to continue walking to JJ's room.

"We're just going to let him go in there and convince JJ not to see us? You heard what he said, used to work with...He's convinced her not to come back to the BAU."

Garcia shook her head. "JJ will be back at the BAU."

"How can you be so sure?"

The blonde smiled at him. "How many times do I have to tell you people...I'm omniscient."

Morgan cast his attention back up the corridor towards JJ's room for a moment. "I hope you're right baby girl."

* * *

JJ heard the door to her room open once more. The conversation with Garcia had left her feeling drained both physically and emotionally. All she wanted to do was to sleep and forget about everything that had happened but she knew that the person currently making their way across the room wouldn't allow that just yet. She still had one more conversation to have.

"JJ, are you awake?"

Part of the blonde wanted to pretend to be asleep and hope that he would leave but she knew there was still one more battle ahead for her. "No."

She heard Will pull up the chair close to her bed and sit in it before he spoke. "I spoke to your doctor on my way back in and as long as there are no further complications then they are hoping to release you in the next..."

"Stop Will. Please just stop." JJ's voice was tired. She turned to face the man sitting beside her and looked at him. "I can't do this anymore."

"Can't do what?" Will clenched his fist on his lap as he waited to hear what the woman laying before him had to say.

"I can't pretend everything is going to be ok."

"But everything is going to be ok. You're going to get better and then we'll go home. I'll find a good job and you can stay home and look after Henry. We'll be a real family. We can move away and make a fresh start, just the three of us."

"I can't just leave. They are my family. I..."

"No JJ. They are your team. People you work with. That's not a family. Your family is who you come home to at night."

"That's not always a family. A family is made up of a group of people who love you unconditionally. They are the ones who will do whatever it takes to protect you, even if it costs them something in return. They are the ones who will still be there no matter what challenges you face."

Will stood from the chair and started to pace, unable to sit still and listen as his hard work fell apart around him. "They didn't protect you though. They nearly let you die."

"I told you once before that you didn't understand my job. The choices we have to make don't always come with a happy ending. You can't save everyone." JJ watched the man pace across the room. She could feel her last remaining energy draining away with the effort of trying to get him to believe what he had ignored so many times before.

"We're not talking about everyone. We are talking about saving you. They didn't sacrifice anything to get you back." His anger spilled out with the words, all of his control finally slipping away.

JJ sighed. "Will, I won't change my view on this. They are my family and I need them in my life as much as they need me."

"What about Henry then JJ? Doesn't he need you more? Doesn't he deserve to know that his mom will be coming home to him every night?" When he didn't get a response from the blonde, he continued in his questioning, feeling like he was getting the upper hand once more. "Shouldn't he get to see his mom drop him off for his first day at school? Shouldn't he get to see you smiling up at him when he graduates high school? Shouldn't he know that when he gets married, his mom will be there to see it?" Will came to stand beside the bed once more and took her hand into his. "It's not fair to ask us to wait at home for that phone to ring with bad news. I can't do that again."

JJ was quiet as she let herself process what had just been said. "I'm not asking you to." Her voice was quiet but held a strength that hadn't been present in recent days.

"So you are leaving the team? I know it's going to be hard but it's the right..."

"No Will. I'm not leaving the team." JJ looked up to meet his eyes for the first time. "I'm leaving you."

Will stared at her for a moment as the words sank in. "You don't mean that JJ. You're just tired after a long day and saying things you don't mean."

"I mean it. Things between us haven't been right for a long time." Seeing Will about to interrupt once more, JJ raised her voice slightly to stop him. "I don't love you Will. I'm sorry. I won't change my mind so please...just go." JJ looked into his eyes for a moment longer, hoping to get her point across before turning away and bringing the conversation to an end. She listened as the door opened and closed once more, finally allowing her eyes to drift closed and sleep to embrace her.


	30. Chapter 30

Disclaimer: Still not mine sadly.

AN: Thank you to all those who took the time to review or send me a pm. They really were appreciated. A bit shorter tonight but I won't have a chance to write until the weekend now so wanted to get this part out. Without further ado...Enjoy :o)

Chapter 30

Emily had made her way back to the hotel on auto-pilot, her mind continually replaying her conversation with JJ on what appeared to be an endless loop. Each time she heard the words 'just go' uttered in the blonde's voice she felt her heart break that little bit more. As she sat down on the edge of her bed, she felt numb. Her eyes drifted around the room. She had been in so many hotel rooms over her years with the BAU, spent so much time away from home that they almost felt more familiar than her own apartment. Then her eyes fell upon something that was out of place in the room. She reached out and picked up the doll lying on the mattress. Emily couldn't help but smile as the memory of the day Henry got the doll emerged in her mind.

_The whole team were sitting around the couches in JJ's house watching as Henry opened his presents, with a little help from Morgan who seemed to be enjoying himself almost as much as Henry. _

"_Ok Henry, now we get to the best present...Even if I do say so myself." Garcia announced to the young boy as she handed the box to Morgan as the self-nominated present opener. _

"_I think since my gift will help stimulate his deductive and logical problem solving skills then..."_

"_Reid sweetie, you know I love you but those colourful little blocks are going to help stimulate his dribbling as he chews on them when teething." Garcia patted the young doctor on the shoulder before turning back to Henry. "Come on then Derek, get that box open and prove how fabulous an Aunt I am." _

_The team all laughed at the usual Garcia antics as Morgan set about opening the gift. He lifted the lid of the box off and then retrieved the items inside. _

"_You got the kid dolls?" Morgan asked, trying to hide the disapproval in his voice. He guessed from the slap to his shoulder that he had failed to hide it enough. _

"_These are not just dolls Derek Morgan. These are custom made BAU dolls...Only ones in the world." She reached over and took one of the dolls and turned it to face the team. "This is our resident boy wonder." She passed the doll over to Reid before delving back into the box. "My gorgeous chocolate god complete with sexy smirk. Our fearless leader...I did make them put a smile on him since you can't have such a serious toy." She passed the two dolls out before retrieving the next ones. "And of course the Charlie's Angels of the FBI...Jayje." She handed over a blonde doll. "Em...I decided against high school you as there was no way to recreate that hair. And finally the most fabulous Garcia doll." She handed Henry the doll version of herself as everyone looked at their miniature counterparts. _

_Despite Morgan's best attempts to convince Henry that his G.I. Joe was better, Henry was far too attached to his own version of the BAU. _

Emily straightened out the little Kevlar vest on the doll, looking at the blue eyes so reminiscent of the real woman. It was in that moment that Emily made her decision. She looked at the doll for a moment longer before placing it down on the bed and reaching for her phone.

* * *

Garcia knocked on the hotel room door and waited patiently for the occupant to answer. She heard the footsteps approach and reminded herself that now was not the time to push Emily to go back to the hospital. As the door opened, Garcia found her words of greeting die in her throat.

"Can I help you?"

"I was looking for my friend. She is staying in this room and I thought she would be here."

"I'm sorry but this room is vacant. The occupier checked out a couple of hours ago." The maid responded.

Garcia took a moment to process the fact that Emily had gone before realising the maid was still looking at her. "Thank you." She turned to walk away from the room, suddenly unsure of what was about to happen.

When she got back to her room, she pulled out her phone and called Emily's cell. She waited as the phone rang before it clicked on to the answering service. "Em...It's Penelope. I just found out that you checked out of the hotel and I'm worried about you. Call me when you get this so I know you are ok."

She clicked off the call and dropped the phone on her bed before walking the few steps to the window of the hotel room and looking out. "Just hold on Em, wherever you are."

* * *

JJ woke the next morning and turned to look at the window in an attempt to gauge the time. She guessed it must still be early as the sky held the remaining traces of a mist the sun had yet to burn through. The hospital held a more peaceful atmosphere in the early mornings before everyone woke and started their rounds. The quiet sound of the monitors and the occasional hushed voice of a passing member of staff was all that was heard. JJ went to stretch her arms out and realised they were still held in the restraints from the previous day. The memories of the events that led her to be in her current situation flashed in her mind. Before she had a chance to dwell on them for too long, the door to her room quietly opened.

"Hey JJ." The voice was quiet so as not to disturb her if she still slept.

The blonde turned her head to greet her visitor. "Hey." She offered a small smile to the man.

"How are you feeling?" His eyes swept over her, taking note of her appearance before meeting her eyes once more.

JJ was quiet as she considered her answer. So much had happened in recent days that if she was honest she didn't really know what she felt anymore. It seemed like so long ago that she had accepted the fact that staying with Will for Henry's sake would never work. So long had passed since deciding to go out for a girl's night that had triggered the series of events that led her to be lying in a hospital bed having barely escaped with her life. The question about what kind of life she had left was one she was unable to answer at that time. It seemed that everything she had known had been called into question. She gave the only answer she could at that time. "I'm still fighting."

She felt the movement at her wrist before she saw it. The restraints were removed from her giving her the freedom to move once more, even if it was restricted due to the remaining injuries. "Thanks."

She watched as he sat down in the chair beside her bed, gently taking her hand in his once more and slowly running his thumb over her knuckles. The two occupants of the room were quiet for a moment, each soaking up the comfort the other provided. "I want you to do something for me." His voice was quieter than she had heard it before, betraying a vulnerability she had never heard from him before. Unable to find the words at that time, she just nodded for him to continue. "I want you to talk to someone about...everything." He held up his hand to stop her when she opened her mouth to argue. "No Jennifer. I never...I knew your sister was struggling with something but I never pushed for her to talk about it. I'm not making that same mistake again. I lost one daughter and I won't lose you too. Not because you try to bury it like she did."

JJ tightened the grip she had on her Dad's hand. "Ok." Her voice came out barely above a whisper as she fought to get the words out past the lump in her throat.

The room fell into a silence once more as both JJ and her dad allowed themselves to remember what they viewed as their own mistakes in the past. Each making a silent vow not to let the same thing happen again.

"I'll ask your friend Penelope to get a list of the best people for the job. That girl is somewhat of a computer whizz."

A large smile broke out on JJ's face. "You have no idea dad. You have no idea." Father and daughter then fell into a gentle conversation, neither one wishing to touch on the topics that lurked in the back of their minds just in case doing so would result in a setback in the progress that was being made. Content to focus on trivial matters and just share the time together.

* * *

Garcia made her way down the now familiar hallway towards JJ's room, knocking on the door as she opened it. "Now are you going to tell me you love me now or later?"

JJ smiled at her friend as she came into the room, her usual bubbly persona once more in place. "Depends on what you have in the bag."

Garcia raised her hand to her heart dramatically, feigning hurt. "Why JJ, how could you even doubt that my bag of tricks would be anything less than worthy of your eternal love and gratitude?" She set the bag down on the chair beside the bed before pulling out a Starbucks cup and holding it in front of the blonde. "Well?" She quirked one of her eyebrows up in questioning.

"Ok, ok...I was wrong to ever doubt you Pen. Can I have my coffee now?" JJ asked while eying up the cup being held just out of her reach. She could already smell the delicious odour of coffee wafting the short distance between the cup and the bed.

Garcia handed the younger blonde the cup and watched with a smile as JJ let her eyes drift closed with the first taste of the coffee. JJ allowed herself the time to savour the flavour of the coffee, sinking into the familiar sensations and allowing herself to forget about everything that had happened for that short space of time. As JJ opened her eyes once more, Garcia too the chance to speak before losing the younger blonde to the coffee cup again. "I have another surprise for you if you feel up to it."

JJ eyed the bag on the chair and tried to work out what else could be contained within it. "It's not in the bag. Your surprise is outside...if you are feeling up to it?"

The young blonde took in the look of hope on her friend's face before nodding slowly. JJ watched her friend walk over to the door and step outside. She could hear quiet voices muffled by the now closed door. She was unable to make out what was being said but it all became insignificant once the door re-opened to reveal Garcia and Henry.

JJ could feel the tears well up in her eyes as soon as they fell upon her son. Her son who she thought she would never get to see again. Henry had his head tucked right into Garcia's neck so all JJ could see was the back of his head. She pushed herself up in the bed as best she could, ignoring the twinges of pain that paled in comparison to the prospect of being able to hold her son once more.

Garcia came to a stop beside the bed and spoke to Henry while gently stroking his back. "Hey Henry, do you want to say hi to your mom?" She watched as he shook his head against her shoulder slowly.

"Henry baby?" JJ's voice betrayed the emotion she was fighting to control at seeing her son once more. She watched as he slowly sat back from Garcia's neck to look at her. When he received a smile of encouragement from his god mother, he turned to face his mom. As soon as his big blue eyes met JJ's, she felt the tears fall down her cheeks.

Garcia gently placed Henry on the less injured side of her blonde friend and kept her hand there to give extra support.

JJ stared over at her son as she gently raised her hand and ran the back of her fingers gently across his face. She watched as the young boy stared back at her before moving to cuddle in against her. JJ let her arm wrap around him as she placed a kiss against the top of his head, breathing in deeply and soaking in every touch and smell that she never thought she'd get to experience again. Henry's hand gripped onto the top of her gown and clenched it tightly into his fist before letting out a contented sigh. "I love you Henry. I love you so much." JJ whispered against the young boy's head.

Garcia stood quietly to the side of the bed, her own tears falling in the knowledge that this moment may never have happened. As she watched JJ hold Henry, she knew her friend would make it back to them all because in her arms, she held her reason for fighting.


	31. Chapter 31

Disclaimer: Still not mine.

AN: First of all a big thank you to those of you who have left me a review or a pm. They are much appreciated and motivate me to keep writing. I'm not 100% happy with this chapter but I've rewritten too many times already. So...Enjoy. :o)

Chapter 31

Garcia had spent the next few days alternating her time between visiting JJ at the hospital and trying to reach Emily. The brunette hadn't returned her call or replied to any of the text messages or e-mails she had left for her. The team had been called in for a case in Ohio and so had only had time to stop by their respective homes to pick up their bags before heading out to the jet. She knew Emily hadn't been cleared for field work yet so hadn't been able to join the team. Garcia was torn between relief at not having to worry about the brunette in a potentially dangerous situation when she wasn't sure on her emotional state and wishing she was with the rest of the team so one of them could give her some information on the other woman. The only thing that she knew was the she hadn't either resigned or put in for a transfer. After the last time members of her team had tried that, she had been sure to set up alerts on the system so that nobody could slip away without a very good reason.

As the older blonde made her way into the hospital room, she stopped in her tracks at the sight that greeted her. The bed was empty. "Not again." She muttered to herself, her gaze still fixed on the bed.

"What do you mean not again?"

Garcia whipped her head around to the source of the sound. "You're up!" She rushed over to her friend but stopped herself from making contact in fear of causing any form of injury to the blonde.

"I'm up." JJ smiled back at her friend.

"Does this mean you'll be coming home soon?" Garcia couldn't hide the hope in her voice.

"As long as the tests come back clear this afternoon then they are discharging me into my parents care tomorrow morning." JJ couldn't suppress the smile that spread across her lips as she imparted the news to her friend. She was finally able to go back home and start to rebuild her life once more. JJ made her way back to the bed, her movement slow but steady. She sat on the edge of the bed and waited for Garcia to take her seat on the chair next to her. "Any news from the others?"

"They are still in Ohio but Derek said they had a couple of positive leads to follow up on today. They are hoping to wrap it up and be back home by the weekend." Garcia studied her friend as she spoke, hoping that this time JJ would enquire about Emily. In the days since the brunette agent had left, JJ had not mentioned her once. Garcia was too wary about triggering a negative reaction in the blonde by mentioning Emily since she still had no idea what had happened between the two of her friends.

JJ nodded at the news on the team and was quiet for a moment. "I was hoping that they would be there when I got home. I was hoping one of them would make sure Will had cleared his things out of my place before we got there. I just don't have the energy to go through that again right now."

Garcia reached out and placed her hand over the younger blonde's hand, giving it a gentle squeeze in understanding. "Maybe this lead will give them the break they need." A smile spread across her face as she spoke once more. "Anyway, I haven't had the chance to set my eyes on that fine specimen of a man for way too long now and I'm starting to suffer from chocolate god withdrawal." She winked at her friend as she finished her comment, earning herself a genuine laugh from the other woman.

"Garcia, can I ask you something?" The tone of the blonde's voice alerted Garcia to the seriousness of the question that was about to be asked.

"Anything Jayje."

There was a lull before the blonde spoke once more. "Do you think...Do you think we'll all make it through this?" She sought out her friend's eyes, needing to see the truth in her answer.

Garcia took a deep breath. "I have to believe we will. To get this far and then not make it back as a team...I can't believe that that can happen as it means he has won. If that happens to us, to our family, what hope is there for anyone else?" She paused for a moment. "So I have to believe we will or I lose not only my family but also my faith in the job I do."

JJ let her friends words settle in her mind. "I hope you are right."

* * *

JJ sat in the car and looked up at her home, her mind awash with a mixture of feelings. This was her home, a place she didn't think she would see again not so long ago. There were so many memories held within the walls of that small building.

She'd moved into her home only a few weeks before Emily had joined the team, having finally decided that it was time to buy her own house. The apartments she has been living in until then had never felt like a home and that was what she craved...a home. Somewhere she could come back to after a day doing her job and shut off from everything. A task that had been nearly impossible when you could hear every mumbled conversation through the thin apartment walls of her previous residence. There had just been something about the small house that had made her feel instantly at home when she set foot inside. Since that day, there had been many happy memories made there. All the girl's nights with beers and movies chosen to be as far removed from their jobs as possible. All her memories of Henry. Even some memories of good times with Will before things had gone so wrong.

JJ sighed quietly. Will. Everything had become so complicated in such a short time. She had never realised just what lengths he would go to in order to keep her. Garcia had told her about what had he had said and done following her rescue from Foyet.

_The noise outside the room drew both women's attention to the door. They could hear muffled voices from the corridor. Garcia turned her attention back to the blonde before her and made a decision. "Jayje, there's something I think you should know." She paused until JJ turned her blue eyes back to focus on her. "About Will." _

_JJ felt herself tense at the name and tone of her friend's voice. If there was one thing she had learnt about her friend over the years it was that tone of voice meant something serious. She steeled herself for the answer to the question that slipped from her lips, "What about Will?" _

_Garcia reached out and took her hand, needing some form of contact with the younger woman in an attempt to offer some form of comfort for the words she knew she had to speak. "Do you know why we weren't here when you woke up?" _

"_You were on a case." As the words were spoken, JJ could hear how false they sounded. _

_Garcia shook her head slowly. "You were rushed to surgery back in DC. We knew that until you were on a regular ward then we wouldn't be able to visit but Em couldn't leave without knowing you were ok. She sat outside that hospital after being discharged and refused to move until she heard." Garcia paused as she heard Morgan's voice from outside the room. "When she saw Will leave the hospital, she asked him how you were." Garcia could feel her eyes prickling as tears threatened her once more as the memory of that morning flashed in her mind. "He told her you had died Jayje." _

_JJ felt a chill spread through her body at hearing those words. She opened her mouth to speak but no words would form. _

"_It was only when Morgan went to the hospital to get more information that we found out you had been moved. As soon as we had managed to locate you, we all came straight here." _

_JJ stared at her best friend and she knew that what Garcia told her was the truth. She felt her own tears well up as the realisation that Emily and her whole family had believed her to be dead sank in. The only semblance of relief that she felt was that they refused to just accept it and had found out the truth. _

"_I just thought you should know everything before making any decisions." Garcia stood from her chair and gave the blonde's hand a final squeeze before making her way out of the room. _

_JJ could hear her voice in the corridor after she left. Her mind was racing with the memories of what had happened since she had woken up. All the things Will had said to her, the lies he had told. The ways he had tried to manipulate her into believing him and that he was only looking out for her, while trying to take her family away from her. JJ felt her anguish diminish as she reached a decision that she knew she should have made a long time ago. _

She was brought out of her reverie by her door being opened. "Ready Jenny?" Her dad offered her his arm. Taking a deep breath she manoeuvred herself out of the car trying to avoid pulling on her healing wounds, grateful for her dad's support. She made her way up the steps slowly to where her mom was waiting with Henry in her arms. As they reached the top step, her dad paused to give her a chance to catch her breath. "You doing ok kiddo?" She nodded her head as her eyes remained focused on the door, watching as her mom opened it and stepped inside. JJ mentally braced herself for seeing Will as she set foot inside her house once more.

"Let's get you seated. The doctor said to take it easy and let us take care of you." Her dad spoke as they made their way further into the house and ended up in the lounge. Once she was sitting on the couch, JJ took the opportunity to look around. It was then that she saw how things had changed slightly. The shelf which housed the DVDs had various spaces scattered through the remaining cases. Where there had been a framed picture of her and Will, now sat a picture of JJ holding Henry. She lifted herself off the couch carefully and made her way into the kitchen, noticing that any pictures of Will had been replaced by pictures of Henry. As she got into the kitchen she made her way over to the coffee maker and stopped as her eyes fell onto a new bag of coffee. She turned and opened her refrigerator and found it fully stocked.

"I thought I told you to take it easy young lady."

JJ turned to face her dad, her eyebrows drawn together in confusion. "Who did the shopping?"

JJ's dad peered around the kitchen and noticed that it was fully stocked despite nobody having been there for over a week. "I just assumed one of your team would have done it."

JJ shook her head at the comment. "They aren't due back from the case until later tonight." Before JJ could ask further questions, a knock was heard from the front door. JJ was left standing in her kitchen as her dad made his way to the door to answer it.

"Well welcome home kitten. I brought you a cactus." Garcia placed the plant on the kitchen side before noticing the confused look on her friends face. "I know people normally bring flowers but that's just sad when they start to wilt. Normal pot plants are quite keen on the whole watering thing and since you don't exactly have a reliable plant care schedule then the cactus wins."

JJ couldn't help the small smile that appeared on her lips as she listened to her friend list the merits of a cactus as the ideal gift. "When did you get back Pen?"

"About fifteen minutes ago. Just enough time to pick up this little gift before coming to get a list of anything you may require."

"I don't need anything. Someone has already taken care of everything."

Garcia tried to suppress the smile she felt tugging at the corners of her mouth. "Well, if you are all set then I'm going to head on over to the BAU to see what mess Kevin has left this time. I swear if that boy has left his old coffee cups lying around this time his vintage Star Wars figures will be on ebay quicker than you can click a mouse."

JJ watched as her friend made her way out of the house as quickly as she had arrived. She was gone before the blonde had the chance to ask her who could have sorted her house out.

* * *

Garcia made her way back to her car before pulling out her phone. She didn't bother calling as she knew all she'd get was an answering machine. Opening a new text message, she began typing.

**Our girl is home safe. Her house elf did a great job. P x **

She clicked through her contacts and found Emily's name and clicked send. She watched as the message sent before putting her phone back in her bag and starting the car. "Maybe there is hope for you yet Em." She pulled away from the kerb and made her way back to the BAU with the intention of finding out why the brunette had avoided all contact over the past few days.


	32. Chapter 32

Disclaimer: Still don't own them.

AN: Big thanks to those who have reviewed or sent me a PM. They really are my inspiration to keep writing.

Chapter 32

Emily turned the page of the report she was currently reviewing. Since her return from the hospital, she had opted to throw herself into work. She had spent the first hour back in her apartment unable to relax as her mind kept drifting to recent events. In the end, the only logical option had been to return to the BAU and immerse her mind in work to distract herself from more personal thoughts. She had been cleared for desk duty while she continued to recuperate from her injuries. While not her ideal choice of jobs, it was better than nothing.

In the days since her return, she had made a start on reviewing the piles of case files in JJ's office and either placing them in a pile for Hotch to read on his return or working on some preliminary profiles that could be sent to the local police. As she reached the end of the file in her hands, she heard her phone beep as it signalled a text message. She reached over to pick her cell up off the desk as she placed the file on the stack of files for Hotch. She saw Garcia's name flash across the screen before opening the message.

**Our girl is home safe. Her house elf did a great job. P x **

As Emily read the message she felt a certain degree of relief wash through her, knowing the blonde was home once more. Her relief was short lived as the uncertainty about the relationship between them surfaced in her mind once more. The brunette pushed the thoughts away before they had a chance to form and reached out for another file, determined to compartmentalise the thoughts and feelings towards the blonde until a later time.

* * *

Garcia pulled into the FBI parking lot and glanced over to check out the space that Emily always favoured. She couldn't help the small smile that appeared as she spotted the brunette's car parked in its normal space. She made her way up to her office first, needing to check what damage had been done in her absence. As she reached the door, she took a moment to take some deep calming breaths before opening it ready to face whatever lay on the other side. As soon as the door was open, she scanned the room and took in the empty cups and food wrappers before landing on the culprit.

Kevin spun in the chair he was sitting in and set eyes on his girlfriend. "Penelope, you're back." He stood from the chair and made his way over to her, leaning in to give her a welcome back kiss. His lips were met by the palm of Garcia's hand and she held it in front of her to halt him in his steps. He went to speak again, although it was slightly muffled through her hand. "Is there a problem?"

Garcia snapped her eyes back to him at the question. "Oh no. You did not just ask me if there was a problem when you have invaded my bat cave, my own personal fortress of solitude and defiled it...again! " She paused for a moment to survey the full damage before meeting his gaze once more. "Do you remember that conversation we had early on in our relationship about if you spoke to Agent Rossi I'd reduce your personal computer system to something between a Commodore 64 and a block of government cheese?" She watched as he nodded against her hand. "Well, this..." She gestured to her office with her free arm, "This is worse than that." She dropped her hand from his face finally. "You have until I get back from talking to Em to have restored my own personal digital den to its former glory or else I'll send your computers back to only running BASIC scripts." Kevin stared at the woman before him, unable to form words at that time. Garcia leant forward and gave him a quick kiss before turning and making her way to the door. As soon as the door clicked shut, Kevin snapped out of his trance and began sorting out the mess he had created.

* * *

Garcia came to a stop in front of the glass doors that led into the bullpen and spotted the brunette sitting at her desk. She took a moment to take in the other woman and look for any signs that would give her a clue as to what state of mind her friend was in. Realising that none were forthcoming, she made her way into the room and prepared herself for whatever was to transpire in the next few minutes. She made her way across to the brunette's desk and leant back on the corner as usual. "Good morning stranger."

Emily looked up at the quirky blonde sitting on the corner of her desk, sporting a genuine smile, and she felt her lips curl up in one of her own in return. "Morning ended an hour ago Garcia."

"Details, details." Garcia dismissed the comment with a wave of her hand. "I'm not sure your desk is rocking the manila folder mountain look. It ruins that minimalist look you normally have going on." Emily glanced down at her own desk and took in the several piles of folders that were scattered across its surface. "Plus when JJ gets back if all her files are missing she'll hunt you down. You know how our girl is about that organised chaos she refers to as an office."

Emily looked down at her desk at the mention of the blonde agent, not wanting to meet Garcia's eyes. "Is she ok?" The brunette's voice was quiet as she asked the question.

"She's healing and physically she is getting better, stronger each day." She watched as the older woman nodded. "How about you Em? How are you doing?" The concern was apparent in the analysts voice.

"I'm good."

Garcia sighed at the response. "Then why does it look like Kevin has had the same effect on your desk as he has on my office?"

Emily looked at the various take out containers and empty coffee cups and knew that Garcia wasn't going to believe her initial response. "I've just wanted to keep busy."

Garcia fixed the brunette with her gaze and took in the signs that hadn't been apparent from her view through the doors. They were dark circles under her eyes that hadn't been concealed with the make-up and when she actually met those normally alert and sparkling brown eyes, they had lost that shine. The woman who sat before her was a mere shell of the real Emily Prentiss. Garcia just hoped that somewhere, hidden within the compartments that the brunette agent utilised so frequently, was the same woman she counted as one of her closest friends. "I'm going over to see JJ tonight if you wanted to come?"

Emily looked away from the other woman upon hearing the blonde's name mentioned but not before Garcia caught a flash of something in those brown eyes. The emotion was gone too fast to identify but the sign of emotion meant those compartments weren't too solid yet. "She doesn't want to see me Garcia." The words were spoken in a voice that could only be described as tired.

"That's not true Em."

The brunette turned to look at her friend once more. "How many times has she asked about me since I left?"

Garcia knew that she couldn't lie to the other woman but feared that the truthful answer would only serve as a justification of whatever Emily believed to be true about JJ not wanting anything to do with her.

Emily waited for a response from her friend but when one was not forthcoming, she sighed and turned her attention back to the files on her desk. "If she had wanted to see me, she would have mentioned me at least once Pen. I won't go against her wishes. I owe her that much."

There were so many things that Garcia wanted to say to the brunette. So many arguments that she wanted to use but in the end, she knew that it was futile to try. All her words meant nothing when faced with those of JJ in Emily's mind. She knew the only way she would be able to help her two friends reconcile was by getting through to JJ first. Garcia stood from her perch on the corner of the desk and placed her hand gently on the brunette's shoulder. "If you ever want a friend, you know where I am." She gave the shoulder under her hand a gentle squeeze before speaking, her voice barely above a whisper. "I miss you Em." With those words, she dropped her hand and walked out of the bullpen, leaving the brunette with the words still ringing in her ears.

Emily heard the footsteps growing quieter before the sound of the door signalled Garcia's departure. She dropped the file in her hands back onto the surface of her desk. As the folder dropped, the only picture on her desk was revealed. The picture of the team on one of their rare nights out. Her gaze remained focused on the faces smiling back at her from behind the glass. She couldn't help but wonder if they would ever look so happy again or if there would always be a certain degree of sadness, of pain held behind the expressions. They had all endured so much and as she sat in the bullpen alone, she couldn't help but wonder if the damage that had been done was irreversible. If the relationships that had once been so strong had crumbled beyond repair. Emily found herself focusing on the women on each side of her in the picture. She could hear the pain in Garcia's voice when she spoke and knew that she was partly responsible for putting it there. Her part in the breakdown of the relationship she had with JJ was hurting them all. Then there was JJ. JJ whom she had thought she had lost to the detective. JJ who she had never been able to fully give up hope on. JJ who she had thought she had lost to the hands of Foyet. JJ who had chosen to give up on her. That was the one fact that had destroyed her hope. This time it was JJ's choice to end their relationship for only one reason...She couldn't face seeing the brunette anymore.

Emily reached out and lifted the picture frame from her desk, looking at the faces in it once more before opening her desk drawer and setting the picture down inside. As she closed the drawer, she knew she had made the right decision.

* * *

JJ had only been home for a few hours with her parents looking after her but she had already come close to reaching her limit of patience with them. She knew the doctors had told her to take it easy but she wasn't a complete invalid. A point both her parents appeared to have forgotten as they spent their time watching her almost non-stop, ready to complete any task they believed was required before she even had to move a muscle. She stared blankly at some soap opera that played on the TV without really seeing it. She allowed her eyes to wander around the room once more before deciding that it was time for her to move. She started to carefully stretch her muscles out before making a move to get up from the couch.

"Jenny, do you need something? A drink? A snack?" Her mom had practically leapt out of her seat as soon as she caught sight of the movement.

"Mom, I'm fine. Sit down and relax. I just need to do something." JJ attempted to placate her mom as she rose from her seat.

"What is it that you need sweetheart? You really should rest as the doctor said..."

"Mom, I'm fine." She took a couple of steps from the couch to where her mom was standing by the armchair. "I just can't stay sitting in the same seat all day."

"But the doctor said you need rest."

"He also said to make sure I keep up with light exercise to help my muscles rebuild their strength between my physio appointments." JJ could see her mom waging an internal argument over whether she should allow her daughter to move. JJ took one more step closer and placed a kiss on her mom's cheek. "I'm fine mom, I promise to take it real easy and call you if I feel even the slightest twinge of pain." JJ watched her mom nod before sitting back down in the armchair.

The younger blonde made her way out of the room and up the stairs. As she got to the top, she paused for a moment to allow her muscles a chance to recover. She hadn't climbed any stairs since the basement and she could feel the strain it put on some of the damaged areas of her body. A flash of anger coursed through her body that even a simple task like climbing the stairs in her own house now took extra effort. As she took a few steps down the corridor she felt the anger dissipate as her gaze fell upon her sleeping son. She made her way into his room and over to the crib, taking a moment to just watch him sleep peacefully. She dropped one of her arms into the crib and gently brushed his hair down, a small smile playing on her lips. As she went to move her hand back from the crib, she was greeted by the sight of Henry's blue eyes opening and looking up at her. She watched as he rubbed his eyes with his fists, trying to work out if he was going to cry or not. As he dropped his hands from his eyes he held them up towards her, asking to be lifted out.

"Ok Henry but don't tell your grandparents I lifted you or I'll never be left unattended." She reached into the crib and lifted him into her arms carefully and settling him against her. She felt his arms wrap around her neck as he tucked his head into her shoulder. JJ smiled at the feeling of having Henry in her arms once more. As she stood there holding her son, she felt like there was a chance that everything would be ok again. That despite everything they had endured, they were still standing and able to repair the damage that had been done. She let her eyes wander to the pictures that adorned the walls of Henry's nursery. She had decided that this would be the room that held the happiest images of their lives, pictures of those who were the most important to them. She felt Henry stir in her arms and watched as he turned to look at the wall of pictures.

"You see this one Henry?" JJ pointed to the picture of Garcia holding him in his leather jacket. "Your Aunt Penelope had just finished watching a Happy Days marathon before we went shopping one afternoon. When we walked past the window display and she saw that leather jacket she had to have it for you. You know she spent the next few hours trying to teach you your first word of eyyy and getting you to do a thumbs up." She smiled at the image of Garcia holding his thumbs up with her own.

JJ turned her attention to the next image. "This one here is much better when you know that your Uncle Derek ignored our advice not to keep lifting you up above his head so quickly. You made him see why he should listen to us though when he was rewarded with his own version of a baby shower." JJ smiled wider at the image in her mind of Morgan's face after Henry had just been sick all over him and the way Henry giggled at him as he handed him back.

She allowed her eyes to continue along the pictures, each one bringing a bigger smile. The happy memories of the time spent with her family flooding her mind and washing away the darker images that had haunted her mind in recent times. Her smile faltered as she reached the last space on the wall and found only a chipped section of the plaster. She looked around the room for the missing picture, spotting it on the dresser at the side of the room. She picked up the picture from the side and made her way over to the chair in front of the window, taking a seat and settling Henry onto her lap. She felt a sad smile appear on her face as she looked at the image of Emily holding Henry. She could remember the day so clearly.

_It had been a particularly trying case, the ones involving children always were. They had got back the previous afternoon when Garcia had announced they would be having a baby shower for Henry the next day. JJ had considered an attempt to put the blonde off from her plans but seeing the looks on the faces of the rest of her team, she couldn't bring herself to do it. So she found herself surrounded by her BAU family the next afternoon. They had all brought presents for Henry and had enjoyed the friendly banter that followed Garcia and Morgan's discussion on whose present was best. _

_As much as JJ knew she shouldn't, sitting there with just the members of the BAU felt more like home to her than when Will was there. She was glad the detective was away in New Orleans that day as everyone was completely relaxed. _

_Eventually as the afternoon wore on, people started to drift away back to their own homes. Hotch and Rossi had been the first to leave. Morgan and Reid had followed, leaving Garcia and Emily. The three women continued to chat with one another as the afternoon became evening. Eventually Garcia suggested ordering in and making a girl's night of it which both of the others readily agreed to. Garcia and JJ went to locate the take out menu and organise some drinks while Emily was left in charge of Henry. When the two women returned, they found Emily sitting on the couch with Henry curled up against her fast asleep as she quietly sang him what sounded like a French lullaby. Before JJ had a chance to say something that would break the peace that surrounded the pair, Garcia placed a hand on her arm while holding a finger up to her lips to keep her quiet. She reached into her bag and pulled out her camera and snapped a few pictures of the pair. _

JJ traced her fingers over the image. "This was the day I realised that I'd made one of the biggest mistakes of my life." Her voice was quiet as she spoke, her eyes never leaving the image in her hand. "As I stood there looking at the two of you together, I knew that was what I wanted. She was who I wanted." JJ felt a tear roll down her cheek. "I'm sorry."

"What are you sorry for Jenny?" Her dad's voice brought her out of her thoughts.

"Nothing dad. Could you put Henry back for me?" JJ handed him her son before standing carefully and placing the photograph back on the side. She quickly wiped the tear from her cheek while her back was turned. She left the room without saying anything else, not trusting her voice at that time.

JJ's dad watched as the young blonde made her way out of the room before he placed Henry back in the crib. He then made his way over to the dresser and picked up the picture that lay there. He sighed as he saw who was in the image, glancing over to the door his daughter had left through moments before. He made his way into the closet in the hall and found the tacks and hammer before returning to the nursery. Finding the place where the picture used to hang, he put a new tack into the wall and hung the picture once more. "Don't give up." His words were spoken quietly into the room, hoping that the two women wouldn't let everything that had happened keep them from each other.


	33. Chapter 33

Hi all,

Sorry for not posting for a while but my life has kind of been turned upside down. Until I can finalise everything from my break up, sort out the funeral arrangements for my Grandma and get my head back on right...I need a break. The story will be finished but I just need some time to try to find a part of me again as I think it has been lost with everything this past couple of weeks. I'm sorry for the delay but I promise it will be done when I feel less broken. Sorry.

Rand0m1


	34. Chapter 34

Disclaimer: Still not mine.

AN: First of all, thank you for being so patient in waiting for this chapter and your kind messages. This is for the two people who helped me so much these past few months, you know who you are...Thank you. The good news is that I already have at least another chapter scribbled down so there won't be a long wait. Ok, that's enough rambling...Enjoy. :o)

Chapter 33

JJ stood outside the doors that led into the BAU bullpen. She could see her own reflection looking back at herself in the glass. The bruises had all faded away. All that remained as a reminder of her time in captivity at the hands of Foyet were a couple of pink scars where the cuts had healed. She knew that in time, they too would fade away. As she looked through into the room beyond she could see the agents moving between the desks. All engaged in their work. It felt like it had been a lifetime since she had last stood in that spot. In some respects she supposed that feeling was right. So many things had changed in the time that she had been away.

It had been two long months of physiotherapy and rehabilitation, slowly rebuilding the muscles that had been torn and damaged at the hands of the Reaper. Dealing with the physical traumas and the psychological ones. The promise that she had made her dad while still in the hospital still fresh in her mind. She had vowed to talk about what had happened, to deal with everything that had happened and not just try to bury it. Garcia had lived up to her reputation and found a psychiatrist who had experience of dealing with criminal cases.

JJ took a breath before opening the door and stepping inside into the bullpen. Her eyes glanced around the room, catching sight of Morgan and Reid at their desks. The blonde agent couldn't help but smile when she noticed Morgan slipping one of his files onto the pile perched on the corner of Reid's desk while the young doctor was engrossed in his explanation of something to Garcia. JJ let her gaze wander up the steps at the side of the bullpen to the offices. She could see Rossi sitting at his desk talking on the phone. Her eyes trailed along the doors to Hotch's office. The blinds were down and the door pushed too preventing JJ from seeing inside. The only person that appeared to be absent was Emily.

"JJ!" Garcia's voice roused the young agent from her observations of the rest of her team and provided sufficient warning for her to brace herself against the sudden embrace she found herself engulfed in as the technical analyst reached her. "I didn't know you were in today." Garcia commented as she released the younger woman and stepped back slightly.

"I needed to stop by and see Hotch. Is he around?" Catching the questioning look in her friend's eyes, JJ opted to explain her presence. "My doctor has cleared me for light duties so I'm hoping to get cleared to return to work. I might not be out in the field for a bit longer but I'll be able to get back to sorting through the case files."

"You miss us that much? Or is it more of a concern for what we have done to your office?" Morgan's voice held its usual confident and playful tone which brought a smile to the face of the media liaison once more.

"You wish Morgan. There's only so long I can spend staring at the same four walls, even if the alternative is dealing with that ego of yours every day."

Morgan returned the blonde's smile. "You love it really." He gave the young blonde a playful wink. "Hotch is in his office."

"Hold on, Morgan, the Minneapolis case was yours. Why is it on my pile?" Reid questioned from his desk.

"I'll leave you to work that out." JJ smiled at the banter between her friends as she made her way across the bullpen and up the steps towards Hotch's office. As she reached the door, she could see that it wasn't completely closed. JJ raised her hand to knock but paused as she heard voices inside. She took a moment to consider coming back later. She glanced down at her watch but knew she had a limited time until she had to get back to Henry. Deciding to knock and find out when Hotch would be able to see her, JJ raised her hand once more. Just as her hand was about to make contact with the door, she found herself frozen by the words that reached her ears from within the office.

"Just take it Hotch. It's just...It's too hard." The voice sounded defeated.

There was a silence in the room which JJ took as her opportunity to make her presence known. The longer she spent outside the door, the more she felt like she was eavesdropping on what was being discussed on the other side of the door. As JJ moved her hand to knock, the door opened fully and Emily came out of the office, knocking into the younger blonde.

"I'm sorry, I didn't see you there. Are you..." Emily's voice trailed off as her eyes met JJ's for the first time since the hospital. The last word came out barely above a whisper. "..Ok?"

The two women looked at each other for a moment in silence, each taking the opportunity to take in the other's appearance. Making their own assessments as to how well the other was doing and yet neither of them having the courage to ask the questions that flooded their minds. Hotch came up behind them, breaking them out of their reverie. "JJ, I wasn't expecting you." The serious look on Hotch's face lightened slightly at the sight of the young blonde. "Come on in." JJ cast a look at the brunette's retreating form and sighed quietly to herself before turning and following Hotch into his office and taking a seat in front of his desk. "How are you JJ?"

"I'm doing good. Ready to come back to work."

Hotch sat back in his chair as he regarded the young woman before him. "You know that I need you to be medically cleared by your doctor before we can take the next step."

JJ couldn't suppress the smile that formed as she reached into her pocket and retrieved an envelope. "Already cleared." JJ handed the medical report over to Hotch.

"That's great news JJ. You'll also have to complete a psych evaluation when you are ready."

"The sooner the better."

Hotch nodded and picked up the phone, dialling through to the psych department. JJ glanced around the office while he was on the phone. There was a certain comfort in being back and seeing that nothing had changed. At least nothing overly obvious had changed. As JJ looked back to the desk, her eyes fell upon a letter sitting there. JJ had seen enough reports written by each of the members of the team over the years that she had no problem in identifying the writing on the envelope before her. The handwriting was unmistakably Emily's. Despite the fact that it was sealed in the envelope, JJ knew what the letter would say. She felt her heart plummet in her chest at the realisation. Emily was leaving the BAU. The brunette's words from earlier repeated in JJ's mind, "_It's too hard."_ The words kept replaying time and again, each time cutting a bit deeper. JJ knew that they had all fought so hard to bring her back and it had cost them so much. As she sat in Hotch's office looking at Emily's resignation, she couldn't help but wonder if it had cost the team too much. JJ's mind returned to one of the sessions she had with her psychiatrist in the early stages of her recovery.

"_How has the past week been JJ?" The psychiatrist asked. He was a middle aged man whose once black hair now showed the tell tale signs of age with the grey speckled through it. His green eyes studied her in a way that never felt too invasive and yet clearly searched for answers below the surface and the words that were spoken. _

"_Better." As much as JJ had agreed that counselling would be a good idea, she was still reluctant to open up totally. After working in the BAU for so long, you learnt to keep answers about your personal life shorter in most cases. The hope of keeping that degree of separation from the job remaining alive as long as you maintained that slight distance. _

"_Are you still experiencing the nightmares?" _

_JJ nodded an affirmative response. "Not as often though." The nightmares were the worst part of her recovery. All the physical pain that she experienced through her physiotherapy sessions paled in comparison to the emotional pain she felt as a result of her nightmares. When she had first been released from the hospital, she would experience them several times a night. In those early days, JJ longed for the day as during the daytime it was easier to move on with life without thinking about what had happened. There was always something else to draw your attention and keep your mind focused on the present. At night, it was different. At night when everything in the house was still and dark, the memories returned. When sleep did come, it had been short lived. The movie that played in her mind as she slept would all too often result in the blonde waking up in a cold sweat, her heart racing inside her chest as she gasped in air. The feelings of panic and the echo of the images refused to recede until she had turned on the light and confirmed she was safe in her own bed. The worst nightmares would result in her crying out in her sleep. Her mom and dad had woken her several times from these nightmares. Those were the times when JJ would just throw her arms around them and sob into their shoulder while clinging to them as if they could protect her from the images in her mind. They were always the worst nights. Those were the nights that she didn't get to the gun in time._

"_Any changes to them?" JJ just shook her head, not feeling the need to elaborate on what the nightmares were again. They had spoken about them in detail previously and it was something the blonde would rather not relive once more. She watched as he made some notes on her file. "Have you seen any of your friends this week?" _

_JJ smiled lightly at the mention of her friends. "Garcia has been over several times." The quirky blonde seemed to have made it her responsibility to check on JJ regularly and ensure that the young woman was left wanting for nothing. For that, JJ was truly thankful. When Garcia came over, it felt like Foyet had never happened. She was still the same slightly crazy but wonderfully caring woman she had always been. The conversations always flowed easily and left JJ feeling like everything would work out in the end. "Spence came over with her once." JJ's smile faded and her voice became slightly quieter as she recalled the name of the young doctor. _

"_Spence is Dr Reid?" Seeing JJ nod he continued. "How did you feel when you saw him?"_

_JJ thought back to the moment she had seen Reid walk into the room behind Garcia. As soon as her eyes fell on the young doctor, all her feelings of guilt over the death of his mother came flooding to the forefront of her mind. She could feel the lump in her throat as the emotions threatened to prevent her from speaking. As their eyes met, JJ felt the tears well up in her own cerulean orbs. "I'm so sorry Spence. I didn't know it was your mom. I'm so sorry." The words came out slightly strangled as she forced them out past all her emotions. Needing the young man to know that she was sorry yet knowing that an apology would never be able to bring his mom back. JJ could feel the tears flowing down her cheeks. She watched as the young doctor fought his own emotions before he knelt down in front of her and pulled her into a hug. _

"_I don't blame you JJ. I don't want you to blame yourself." His voice was almost steady, a slight waiver betrayed the emotions he was fighting to control._

"_But it was my choice. My fault." _

_Reid pulled back from their embrace to look JJ in the eyes. "I need you to listen to me JJ." He paused until he was certain that he had her complete attention. "You had to make that choice. He would have kept trying to force you until he had killed you and then he would have gone after the others anyway. We told you to make the choice because it meant we had a chance to get you back. You are as much my family as my mom was. I will never blame you for what happened and you have to stop blaming yourself too or he will win. He will win because I'll lose you too and I can't..." His voice trailed off as he stumbled over the words. His voice broke slightly as he summed up the strength to finish. "I just can't." _

_JJ pulled him back into a hug and whispered her own promise to him. "You won't lose me." _

_JJ looked back to the psychiatrist as she pulled herself out of her thoughts. "He helped. The nightmares became less frequent after that." _

"_So have you seen everyone from your team since you have been home?" _

_JJ paused for a moment before answering the question. "Everyone but Emily." _

The young blonde was brought out of her memories by Hotch putting the phone down. "Thursday at 10am."

JJ nodded. "Thanks Hotch."

"It'll be good to have you back JJ." The young agent nodded and smiled slightly as she stood to leave. The only question in her mind being if everyone on the team would feel the same.


	35. Chapter 35

Disclaimer: Not mine, sadly.

AN: Thank you for the reviews and messages...Can't quite believe there are over 400 reviews now! Enjoy :o)

Chapter 34

Emily sat at her desk with a file open before her, yet her eyes refused to focus on the words. She had re-read the same paragraph several times and still couldn't recall any details about it. She found herself glancing up to the closed door of Hotch's office every so often. Part of her wanting to see JJ emerge from within, the other part wanting to be anywhere but sitting and watching for that door to open. She knew that there was every possibility that when the young blonde exited the office, she would walk right on past and in doing so, reject her once more. Emily wasn't sure she could face that rejection again.

It had taken all her will power to walk away from the private hospital JJ had been in and come back to the BAU. She had asked Hotch to submit her for her psych evaluation as soon as she returned, wanting to get back to work as soon as possible. While she knew she wouldn't be able to return to the field straight away, even working at a desk was a better option than having so much time alone at home. Time alone meant time with her thoughts which was something Emily wanted to avoid as much as possible while everything was in such turmoil. Passing the psych evaluation had been relatively simple. The questions were all designed to assess whether or not the agent was suffering from post traumatic stress disorder and whether they would be able to cope with the rigors of their job. As a profiler, Emily knew the answers to give to pass the test, even if all her answers had not been completely honest. It had served to allow the brunette to return to the BAU and immerse herself in work which was exactly what Emily believed she needed.

Then when JJ had returned to Washington, the brunette had to face a whole new challenge. She'd catch parts of conversations held by others in the team about JJ's recovery. Yet she could never bring herself to participate in them herself or to enquire about whether the blonde ever asked about her. Each day that passed held the hopes of a phone call or a message from the blonde. She always wondered if today would be the day that Garcia would come in and tell her that JJ had asked after her. Yet each day that passed brought no attempts at communication. Each day that passed without any attempt at renewing their relationship dashed her hopes that little bit more, slowly eating away at her faith that things could ever be repaired between them.

It was after Emily had heard Garcia telling Rossi how JJ was so much better and that her parents had headed back to Pennsylvania that she knew the time was fast approaching when the blonde would return to the BAU. It was with that knowledge that Emily had made her decision. The thought of spending every day so close to the blonde and yet knowing she was a constant reminder of the horrors she had been subjected to at the hands of Foyet was too much. The brunette knew that if she looked into those blue eyes and saw only pain reflecting back at her from the depths that had once held hidden promises of so much more it would hurt too much to face every day. It would be too hard.

Writing her resignation from the BAU had been the second hardest letter that she had ever written. The hardest one sat in the bottom drawer of her desk, the letter she had written to JJ in case anything ever happened to her. The letter that Foyet had used in his games. The envelope was creased and stained yet when Hotch had offered it back to her, she had accepted it. The letter held words that still rang true, despite everything that had transpired and she couldn't bring herself to dispose of it. So she had placed it in the drawer of her desk on that day and it remained there.

As the door opened and JJ stepped out, Emily's attention snapped up to the blonde. She watched as the young woman looked down over the desks in the bullpen. When blue eyes met brown across the room, they each held the gaze for a moment. It felt like time had slowed down for that moment, giving each woman the opportunity to take in the other. Emily felt her hopes raise once more as the younger woman took a step towards the steps down towards her. She could feel her heart rate pick up slightly as the prospect of having contact with the blonde after so long. Yet as quickly as her hopes had been raised, they were dashed as JJ broke their eye contact and turned the other way to leave the room. Leaving Emily to stare after her retreating form. The belief that despite everything they had been through, Foyet had still beaten her. He had still managed to take the most important things from her life.

* * *

JJ met Emily's eyes as she left Hotch's office. As soon as she laid eyes on the profiler she wanted to march across the bullpen and shout at the brunette for leaving. She wanted to ask her why she was leaving her. She wanted to beg her to stay. To apologise and tell her that she didn't blame her. To tell her that when she looked at her, she didn't relive everything that had happened in that basement. To tell her that it was her face that had kept her going. It was staying focused on the image of those deep brown eyes that always held such compassion and caring that gave her the strength to keep fighting.

She took that first step that would lead her back to the woman she so desperately wanted to be close to and then froze. The images of Foyet kneeling over the brunette's prone form as he mocked her flooded her mind, serving as a reminder why she had sent the other woman away in the first place. JJ dropped her gaze and turned to leave the bullpen quickly. Not trusting her resolve if she had kept looking into those brown eyes that she knew would now hold fresh pain. A pain that she had been the cause of once more.

* * *

As Thursday came around, JJ found herself sitting in the sterile looking waiting room outside the psychiatrist's office of the FBI. The walls were painted white and held a few scattered images or nature that had been selected to act as calming influences on the people who would look upon them. Images of perfectly still lakes and bays, no doubt selected to avoid having a single wave or sign of disturbance so as to attempt to instil a sense of calm to even those minds that were struggling with maintaining an inner peace. JJ couldn't help but feel the images were out of place in a building that dealt with the worst examples of humanity. Believing that having a minor imperfection in the image would provide a more realistic representation of what you should be aiming for in your own mind.

"Agent Jareau?" The voice that came from the now open office door drew the blonde's attention from the images on the opposite wall. JJ stood and followed the man into the office before seating herself into the chair. She had never understood why people wanted to lie on a couch when talking to a psychiatrist. It was bad enough having to expose your innermost thoughts and feelings without the added feeling of exposure from being in such a vulnerable position.

"I'm Dr Clarke. I see that you are here for your evaluation before returning to work with the BAU." The man sat back in his chair and drew his eyes up from the file to regard the young agent before him. "How long have you been working with the BAU?"

"Six years." JJ answered without hesitation. These were the easy questions she knew. The harder questions would come a bit later, once the man sitting across from her felt like he had eased her into the session.

"That's a long time to be with such a demanding department. Have you ever considered changing departments?"

"I have on a couple of occasions."

"Yet you never have. Why?"

JJ thought for a moment about how best to word her answer. "I considered leaving when I'd been doing the job for a few years. I had been recruited right out of the academy and initially you believed you would make such a difference to the world. After a few years it seemed like there was no end. Each time we caught one unsub, another file would land on my desk. Seeing what we do day after day, I think we've all questioned if we should keep doing it at least once. When my son was born I questioned if it was still the right job for me. As for why I have never left despite having considered it...We still do good. Every time we catch an unsub, we stop them. They might have claimed two or three or twenty victims before they reach our attention but we stop them from claiming any more. We give closure to families and sometimes we save people who had been taken. That's why I keep doing it. For all the people we can save either from suffering physically or emotionally."

"How do you cope with the ones you can't save?"

JJ was quiet for a brief moment. "You remember them. Maybe not all their names and faces clearly but the memory of them remains. It is because of those victims that we are able to catch the unsub. They provide us with the pieces of the puzzle we need. Once we have caught that unsub, you move on. You can't dwell on the ones we were unable to save. You have to believe that by finding them, you have given them peace."

"How long have you been off work?"

There was no need for a pause here. The date would forever be a part of JJ's memory. "Six weeks."

"Do you have nightmares about your experience?"

JJ didn't hesitate in answering the question, knowing that honesty was the best approach. "When I first came back from the hospital I did but they have become less frequent as time goes on."

"When was your last nightmare?"

JJ thought for a moment. She could still recall the way her heart was racing and her whole body had broken out into a cold sweat as she woke from her uneasy sleep. The images of Foyet's face still fresh in her mind. So clear that it didn't fade until she had reached over to turn the light on to reveal she was alone in her own bedroom. "About a week ago." She watched as the psychiatrist made some annotations on the file that lay on the desk between them.

"Do you have a regular sleep pattern?"

"Yes." JJ didn't feel the need to elaborate on the question. Having spent so many years in the BAU, she knew that the more you said, the more you revealed about yourself. Knowing that the man sitting opposite her making notes on a file would decide whether or not she got to return to work and start to rebuild her life served as a reminder of why to keep the information provided to a minimum.

"When you are awake, do you ever experience flashbacks?"

"Not since I left the hospital."

The doctor nodded before turning back to the file for a moment before making eye contact once again. "How often do you think about your time in captivity?" The psychiatrist watched the young agent as the question was posed, trying to identify any physical reactions to the questions that would reveal more about her frame of mind.

"I have thought about it but not often." JJ saw the man nod as his attention turned back to her file.

"Have you spoken to anyone about what happened to you?"

JJ nodded. "I have spoken to a private psychiatrist since leaving the hospital."

"Was it your choice to see someone?"

"Partially. My dad wanted me to talk to someone about what had happened." As she spoke, JJ watched the pen moving across the file and knew she needed to elaborate to ensure the doctor understood the full situation. "My sister committed suicide when she was a teenager. My dad has always wondered if he could have done more. If he missed something that could have given a warning about what was to happen. So when this happened, all his fears and doubts resurfaced and he wanted to make sure he had done everything he could to protect me. While he asked me to see someone, I already knew I needed to. If there's one thing you learn while working with a team like the BAU, it is how important it is to have a way to find a release. A way to deal with everything that you see and experience on a daily basis."

"How do you deal with the stress and emotional burden of your job?"

"I go home and I see my son. When I look at him, I know that it is worth it. That everything we see and deal with results in the world being a slightly safer place. That someone somewhere could very well be looking down at their own son which wouldn't have happened if we didn't come to work every day. When I'm at work, I am part of a team which is more like a family. We all look out for each other and listen when someone needs to talk."

"You mentioned your team as a family. Have you spent much time with them since you have been home?"

"I have spent quite a lot of time with Garcia. The others have stopped by when they have been able to."

"So have you had a lot of time on your own?"

"My parents stayed with me for the first stages of my recovery as I needed assistance while my injuries healed. Since they went home, I guess the days are spent with mainly Henry."

"Since your parents left, have you felt any anxiety about being alone in the house?"

"I feel safe in my own home. When I go out, I'm not looking over my shoulder and wondering when something will happen. I experienced something that is unimaginable for many people but I'm still here. It would have been so easy to just give up when in that basement but I had reasons to keep fighting. I could have died in the dark but I didn't. He did. George Foyet is gone and he didn't win. I'm not going to live my life in fear of shadows and memories. If I did, he would win and I might as well still be in that basement."

The psychiatrist sat back in his chair and studied the young agent. JJ could feel his gaze taking in every detail about her posture in his search for information left unsaid. After a moment, he turned his attention back to the file on the desk. "In your file it says you are in a relationship and yet you haven't mentioned your partner. Have there been changes in your relationship since your experience?"

JJ thought for a moment about how best to phrase her response. She knew that one of the signs they looked for was a sudden change in personal relationships and yet she didn't want to reveal the full reasons for the breakdown of the relationship between herself and Will. "My relationship was already at an end before everything that happened. I was waiting for the right time to end it. What I went though wasn't the cause of the relationship ending."

"Did you find yourself more angry and easily irritated in recent times? Perhaps leading to your separation from your partner finally happening?"

The young blonde had been angry at Will but with just cause. "No. The separation happened because we had drifted apart. He wasn't who I wanted to spend the rest of my life with."

"Do you feel any anger towards your team for them not trying to make a deal with Foyet?"

"No. If they had tried to make a deal, it would have given him more power."

"It could have resulted in your release." The phrase came out as more of a statement than a question.

"You're wrong. Foyet would have never released me voluntarily. There was a greater power in him keeping me than in any deal he could have been offered. He would have played along and manipulated as many people as possible but I'd still have been there." JJ kept her voice steady as she spoke.

"Were you angry with Agent Prentiss for going against procedure and putting herself at risk?"

Yes was the first thing that sprang into JJ's mind but she couldn't give that answer. "At first I was."

"And now?"

"I understand her motivation. While I was angry when it happened, she saved me." JJ's voice held a quieter tone as she finished her statement, the truth of it weighing heavily on her mind. She knew that if Emily hadn't put herself in that situation, she would have given up and never made it out of that basement. Yet she would have never wished the brunette into danger or wanted her to experience any of the pain she did as a result of her decision.

"How so?"

"She refused to give up and that gave me the strength to keep fighting." JJ stopped herself from completing the statement aloud. In her mind she did continue her statement..._I couldn't watch her die without doing everything I could to try and save her. _She knew that sharing that part of information would lead to more questions she was unwilling to answer with an FBI psychiatrist.

The doctor sat back in his chair after making a few last notes. He regarded the young agent before him for a moment before speaking. "I think that you will be able to return to your post Agent Jareau. I do want to have another meeting with you in a month's time to re-evaluate the situation and ensure you are still managing your experiences alongside the additional stress of your post. While you show some signs of PTSD, I believe you are managing them at this time. I'll be sending my full report to your SAIC with my recommendations. Do you have any questions?"

JJ felt the relief flood through her body at hearing that she would be able to return to work, return to her family and start the process of re-establishing a sense of normality in her life once more. "No."

The doctor nodded. "My report will be with Agent Hotchner by the end of the week." The doctor stood and walked over to the door. JJ followed and shook his hand on the way out. "Good luck Agent Jareau. I'll see you in a month."

"Thank you." JJ turned and walked down the hall, feeling like a weight had been lifted from her shoulders. The doubts she had been having about being able to return to work alleviated.


	36. Chapter 36

Disclaimer: Not mine as always.

AN: Apologies for the delay...one of my puppies decided that my laptop charger would make a great snack! We are nearing the end of this fic now...it might have taken 2 years but the end is in sight. Thank you to all those who have reviewed or sent me a PM, they are greatly appreciated and do motivate me to keep writing. I hope to finish this during my half term break. Anyway, enough rambling...Enjoy :o)

Chapter 35

Emily sat at her desk reading a case file, her pen tapping gently against her hand as she unconsciously fidgeted while her mind drifted. She knew the blonde agent was in the building for her psych evaluation. Emily also knew that the outcome of that evaluation would decide the course her future would take.

"Emily Prentiss." Emily spun around at the sound of Garcia's voice echoing around the bullpen. She watched as the technical analyst marched over to her desk, a piece of paper clenched in her hand. The brunette agent was vaguely aware of the way the room had become a bit quieter. "Just what..." Garcia's voice trailed off as she realised the other agents in the room had halted in their own actions to watch the scene unfolding before their eyes. Garcia grabbed Emily's arm and unceremoniously dragged her out of her seat. Emily dropped the file she had been reading back onto her desk as Garcia led her away from her desk and out of the room. Emily knew from the way that her friend was acting that her resignation had been placed onto the system, which meant JJ had been cleared for duty. The knowledge of this fact creating a jumble of emotions inside the brunette's mind. Emily cast a glance around the room that Garcia had led them into once the door had closed.

"Garcia, this is a janitor's closet."

The blonde dropped her hand from Emily's arm and turned to glare at the agent. "I am well aware of that fact but there are no cameras and very little chance of interruption while you explain this to me." Her voice held a tone that bordered between angry and hurt. The paper that was still grasped in her hand was thrust towards the brunette agent.

Emily took the paper and glanced at it. No sooner had she read the heading of 'request for termination of contract' she looked back to meet her friends gaze as she passed the sheet of paper back to her. As their eyes met, Emily could clearly see the betrayal that her friend felt at her actions. "I meant to tell you Pen but I didn't know how." Emily's voice held none of the confidence that usually accompanied the normal dulcet tone.

"Gee Em there are a whole load of ways you could have told me. Yet I had to read it in one of my alerts. Not so much as a word from you. I'd have preferred an e-mail or a text to this!" The tone of the blonde's voice left no doubt as to the level of pain she had felt at the discovery. Emily dropped her gaze from her friend's face, the emotion of the past couple of months weighing heavily on her heart as she let herself feel the impact of her actions on those people she was closest to. "I thought we were friends Em." Garcia's voice had dropped to a much quieter tone, the anger fading to reveal the hurt that lay beneath.

Emily's brown eyes snapped back to the analysts face as those words registered. "We are Pen. You are one of my best friends." Emily hoped that the quirky blonde standing before her could read the sincerity of her words in both her tone and expression.

The two women looked at each other for a moment, the silence stretching between them as they both grasped for the words to say. "Then why are you going?" Garcia's voice finally broke the silence as she asked the question she needed to know the answer to in an attempt to understand the actions of the woman before her. The words were quiet and filled with the hint of confusion she felt at the news her freind was leaving.

Emily sighed at the question. She knew her friend deserved a proper explanation if she had any hope of maintaining the friendship that had come to mean so much to her. Finding the words to explain everything that led to this moment was the hard part. "It's just too hard Pen."

"I don't understand. What is so hard?" Emily wanted to explain all her fears and doubts but the words failed to come. "Why do you have to hide behind those damn walls? Why can't you just drop them and talk to one of us?" The anger had seeped back into Garcia's voice as she found herself fighting against the silent walls the brunette used.

"I did." The quiet words hung in the air between the two women as the fight went out of the brunette. Her shoulders dropped as she felt the energy drain from her body with her admission. "I dropped all my walls. I stopped using my compartments and I laid myself bare for the first time in as long as I can remember." Emily swallowed thickly to clear the lump that had begun to form in the throat, making it harder to say the words that so desperately needed to be said. "Now I can't put it all back. I can't lock those feelings away again. I have tried Pen. I have really tried but it's just too hard. I can't see her every day, be so close to her and yet have this gaping void between us." Emily could see the tears seeping from Garcia's eyes as she spoke. It was only when the blonde pulled her into a hug that she realised she was crying too. All the emotions that had been kept hidden behind her facade of work finally spilling out. The feeling of utter despair that everything she had dreamed would one day come to pass had slipped out of her reach for good.

Garcia held Emily while she cried silently. The analyst could feel her own tenuous hold on her emotions wavering as she began to doubt that her two best friends would be able to find their way back. As she felt the brunette calm in her arms, she pulled back to look at her. The analyst carefully thought about the way to phrase her next question, not wanting to cause the brunette any more anguish. "How can you be so sure that in time, things won't improve?"

Emily smiled sadly at her friend. "It's been two months and she's not said a word to me since I left her at the hospital."

The analyst watched as Emily wrapped her arms around herself, effectively shutting herself off from any further conversation on the topic. Garcia gave Emily one last look before turning to walk the two steps back towards the door. As her hand rested on the handle she turned her head to face the brunette once more over her shoulder, her eyes soft and sad. "I know you have all these walls and compartments that you hide everything behind and you hope that you'll put them all back in place again in time but it won't work Em. I have seen how you look at her and even you can't put all those feelings into a little box."

Emily opened her mouth to protest but was stopped as Garcia continued. "This resignation is you trying to put a distance between you but even if you were hundreds of miles away, you'd still have those feelings. You can't just turn them off and that is going to eat away at you."

The brunette heard the words that fell from her friends lips and could feel the truth in them. "What can I do Garcia? She has made it clear that she doesn't feel the same way anymore. Whatever she once felt for me is gone now. I had my time and now it's passed. So what should I do? Stay here and be her friend, slowly ripping myself apart as I can do nothing but watch her live her life without me as a part of it. Having to listen to her tell me about everything that happens in her life but never being a real part of it and dreading the day that she says she met someone to share it all with her. Or do I go and try to forget everything that I thought we could once have? All those times I'd think of a future with her beside me, a future with a family...our family." Emily could feel her control slipping once more as her vision began to blur with unshed tears as she laid out all the thoughts that had been running through her mind for the past two months. It seemed that no matter what choice she made, she lost.

Garcia stepped closer and rested her hand on the brunettes arm once more. "You have this big heart that you try to keep hidden away but you have given a large part of it away. You'll never be able to forget someone who holds so much of it." Giving her friend's arm a gentle squeeze, Garcia turned and left the closet.

Emily stood and stared at the closed door for a while as she regained her composure once more, Garcia's words still running through her mind. Deep down, she knew that her friend was right. She knew that she'd never forget the blonde woman who had awakened so many parts of her that had lain dormant for years. Yet the thought of having to stand on the sidelines and just be a spectator in JJ's life required more strength than she had left. As much as it pained her, she would leave the BAU and the only true family she had ever had.

* * *

As Garcia walked back into her office she slumped back against the door as it closed, allowing her eyes to drift shut as the weight of conversation she'd just had sat heavily upon her mind. "Damn it Emily." She cursed into the empty air of her office.

"What's wrong? Is Emily OK?" The concern was evident in the voice.

Garcia's eyes snapped open as she spun to look over to where JJ was sitting in her office chair. Her hand flew up to her chest as she felt her heart rate pick up, whether due to the surprise at hearing another voice or that JJ was enquiring after the brunette. "JJ. What are you doing here?"

"I just came from my psych evaluation and knew you wouldn't forgive me if I didn't drop by." JJ watched her friend's actions carefully as Garcia dropped her hand from her chest and stepped towards her, waiting for a response to her earlier questions. She watched as Garcia came to rest on the desk beside the chair JJ sat in, her whole posture making it clear she was uncomfortable which made the young blonde frown slightly.

"So how did it go?" Garcia tried for a light tone while silently willing herself to relax and hoping JJ would forget her initial enquiry.

JJ regarded the older woman for a moment before speaking with a tone that left no doubt that she wanted an answer this time. "Garcia, what has happened with Emily?"

"You know how I have these alerts set up for each of you so that if anything out of the ordinary happens or people try accessing your files then I get a warning?" Seeing JJ nod her head, she continued. "Well, one of my alerts was activated this morning." Garcia's voice trailed off as she considered how to finish informing the woman before her about what the alert meant. Instead of trying to find the right words, she silently passed JJ the paper that was still held in her hand, the copy of the resignation request that had been submitted that morning.

JJ took the sheet of paper from her friend's out stretched hand and read it. Her frown deepened as she took in the information that the print out held. When she had seen the letter on Hotch's desk, she had figured that he or one of the others on the team would find a way to talk her out of this decision. The realisation that the brunette agent was really leaving sank in slowly. While she didn't want to risk allowing anyone to know how she truly felt for the other agent, in fear it may be used against them one day, she never wanted to lose her from her life entirely. JJ knew that if Emily left the BAU, there was nothing to keep her from leaving Washington or even the USA. That if that happened, she'd always be waiting on a phone call or e-mail to let her know how the other woman was doing. It was one thing to put a distance between them when she could still see and speak to the other woman but to not have that contact...JJ felt her heart constrict. "She can't go." JJ's voice was quiet as she spoke.

"Why Jayje?"

JJ looked up and met those of Garcia, the anguish she felt at the news clearly evident in her cerulean eyes. "She belongs here. This is her family." JJ knew she wasn't being completely forthcoming with her true feelings but she just couldn't bring herself to admit that she needed the older woman in her life.

Garcia felt the disappointment at the response she received. "Maybe you should tell her that."

JJ wanted to say something that would explain why she couldn't tell the brunette to stay. Yet every explanation that came to mind would result in a long conversation about her reasons for pushing the brunette away in the first place. That was a conversation that the blonde wished to avoid if at all possible as she doubted the analyst would agree with her reasoning.

Garcia watched the emotions that crossed her friends face before sighing quietly as she realised that the young blonde wasn't going to face the fact that only her words would be able to keep the brunette in the team. "When are you back Jayje?"

"Monday."

"What about Henry?" The thought of what would happen to the little boy now JJ was returning to work full time and Will was no longer on the scene occurring to the analyst.

"Despite everything that happened with Will, he did find a good nanny."

Garcia stared at the younger woman in shock for a moment. "Jayje...Are you sure? I mean I haven't even run my searches on her or anything." The analyst was talking as she pulled a chair up to her computers and began typing.

"Pen, its fine. The checks have been done."

Garcia spun her chair to face the other woman, raising one of her eyebrows as she did.

"A few days after I got home, I received an envelope with all the checks I could ever imagine and some I couldn't have imagined inside."

Garcia thought for a moment about who would have the connections and forethought to have carried out the searches on a potential nanny before JJ had even thought about returning to work. There was only one person who would have done such a thing, Emily.

JJ cast a glance down at her watch before standing from the seat. "Talking of Henry, I need to pick him up from the day care and get him home for some lunch. I'll see you on Monday." She leant over and gave her friend a hug.

As JJ reached the door, Garcia's voice made her pause. "Jayje, once Em goes then she won't come back. Just make sure you are certain about what you want."

JJ felt the words settle heavily in her heart as she wasn't certain of what she wanted anymore. "See you Monday." The young blonde's voice was quieter as she let herself consider her friends words. She turned the handle and left the office, her mind once more in turmoil about what path to take.


	37. Chapter 37

Disclaimer: Still not mine.

AN: Thank you for all the reviews and PMs. Good to know people are still reading this! I now have 2 weeks off work so my goal is to get this finished in that time. So without further ado...enjoy. :o)

Chapter 36

JJ stood at the door to her office for the first time in a little over two months. The corridor was quiet due to the minimal number of people around on Sundays. She had decided to come in the day before her official return to work to sort out the probable chaos that her office would be in following her long absence. JJ prepared herself mentally for what she would find on the other side of the door. She knew the team would have been working through the case files as they came in to an extent but her job was to prioritise and organise the cases to suit the respective team members. The young agent expected to find several piles of files that hadn't warranted BAU attention on an urgent basis stacked all over her desk. JJ opened the door and couldn't help but draw to a stop as she stepped a mere couple of paces into the room. Instead of the expected disarray was a relatively clear desk. The files that remained appeared, at first glance, to be organised in her usual manner.

JJ cast her eyes around the rest of the room, taking note of how everything was as she had left it. "Guess we might be out of here quite quickly today then hey buddy?" JJ commented to the little boy resting against her hip. He responded with a smile and buried his head into her shirt. JJ ran her free hand through his hair affectionately before glancing around the room to locate Henry's play pen. Spotting the pen folded and stacked in the corner of the room, JJ gently placed the young boy onto the corner of the couch in her office, ensuring he was safely settled into the cushions before making her way over to the play pen.

The blonde lifted the folded play pen out into the central area of her office and set about opening it out, checking over her shoulder at the young boy watching her intently with his blue eyes. Once the play pen was in situ, JJ made her way back to her son and lifted him into her arms. "Your mom just needs to check what has been happening while she's not been here little guy. We'll go to the park on our way home if you are a good boy, ok?" Henry looked into her blue eyes as his own filled with tears, his tiny fists clenching her shirt tightly as he buried his head into her chest. "Hey, it's ok Henry. I'm not going anywhere." JJ ran her hand up and down her son's back soothingly as she spoke softly to him. Her own mind supplied that the last time he would have been in the play pen was when she was missing and Will had also abandoned him. He might still be a baby but he knew when his parents hadn't been there to comfort him. As she felt him begin to calm and his breathing settled out, she gently kissed him on the top of his head and lowered him into the pen. She could hear the faint sniffling sounds as he sat in the pen, his eyes following her movements as JJ went over to her desk to begin her work.

* * *

Emily leant against the counter in her kitchen, taking in the scene around her. There were boxes scattered about the visible space. Some of which were already packed, others were only partially filled. She lifted the glass of wine to her lips and took a sip before heading back to the drawers she was currently packing. Emily lowered herself down to sit back onto the floor, placing her wine glass onto the floor beside her. She reached into the drawer and lifted out the items inside. Her eyes immediately fell upon the pictures. She placed the other papers into the box beside her before laying the pictures on her lap. She instinctively reached for the glass of wine as her eyes took in the figures captured on film, smiling back at her. They were all photographs that had been taken through the years with the BAU at various gatherings where Garcia had managed to sneak her camera along.

There were the usual pictures of people posing with big grins. Morgan showing off his muscles and his bright smile, even Hotch was smiling in several of the images. Emily sighed to herself as she flicked through the photos. She knew that the people she was leaving behind her were far more than a team or colleagues, they were a family. They had faced so much together and yet here she was packing up her life and moving on without them. Emily knew she would miss them all terribly but she also knew she had to do this. That staying after everything that had happened, knowing all she knew about how she came so close to having her chance with JJ only to lose it was just too much to bear on a daily basis. JJ. Her hands paused in their sorting of the images as she came across a picture of the blonde smiling at the camera with Garcia. She took a long sip of her wine as she allowed her eyes to drink in the blonde's features one more time. "Goodbye Jennifer." Emily whispered to the woman in the photograph, knowing that it was as close as she would get to saying the words to the woman. Reaching forwards, she placed the stack of photos into the box and taped it shut, the action bringing with it a sense of finality to her actions.

* * *

JJ sat back in her chair and ran a hand through her hair as her eyes fell upon the clock on the wall. 4pm. She sighed deeply. The past five hours had been spent going through the e-mail requests and reading through the files in the 'for attention' pile on her desk. She had been pleasantly surprised to find that her system of organisation on her desk hadn't been tampered with and that the files appeared to have been sorted as they came in. The files remaining had either come in towards the end of the previous week or had been deemed as a non-urgent case. JJ shut down her computer and rose from her desk, allowing her focus to fall onto her now sleeping son. A slight frown creased her brow as she noticed something grasped within his hand. JJ approached the play pen and reached down to identify the item concealed within his small hand. Her fingers found the golden chain and gently pulled it free from Henry's grip. Despite the careful manner in which she had removed the item, Henry stirred and looked up at her, his eyes filling with moisture. JJ watched as his level of distress increased and so reached down to lift him into her arms. She moved them over to the couch at the edge of her office and sat down, positioning Henry against her chest as she leant back and settled into the cushions.

She wrapped the chain around her fingers to bring the pendant closer to her hand. Once it lay flat against her palm, she gently ran her thumb over the surface. She remembered the pendant. Her thumb traced the flowing design engraved across the surface, following the path of interlocking lines. She recalled the time she had first laid eyes upon it and questioned the design.

_JJ walked into the break room and leant her hip against the counter as she watched with a small smile as Emily muttered to herself while trying to get the coffee machine to work. The brunette checked the water was filled and the pot was in place before pushing the button and waiting. Nothing. "Oh come on. Is a cup of coffee too much to hope for on a Monday morning? Ok, Prentiss you can do this. You can work out the motivation and probable future victims of serial killers so getting a coffee machine to work should be simple." She fiddled with all the parts once more before pressing the button and waiting...nothing. _

"_Need a hand Em?" JJ couldn't stand back and watch the other woman struggle in her task any longer without alerting the brunette to her presence. Emily spun around quickly at the voice, almost dropping the coffee pot in the process. JJ's hand shot out to steady to pot before it fell, inadvertently brushing the skin of the older woman's fingers as she did so. Both women seemed to freeze in place for a moment as the unexpected feeling of skin against skin registered in their minds. JJ looked away and moved her hand to take the coffee pot from the older woman. "Let me." Her voice was quieter than it had been moments before as she swallowed down the rush of desire to run her fingers across the soft skin of the brunette's hand. Placing the coffee pot back into position, JJ leant forward to turn on the switch on the outlet. As she leant forward she was all too aware of the scent of Emily's perfume invading her senses. She allowed herself the briefest of moments to close her eyes and inhale the distinct fragrance that made up Emily Prentiss. As the coffee machine started to make noise, she opened her eyes once more and pulled back, putting a step between the two of them. _

"_Thanks Jayje." Emily smiled at the younger agent in gratitude. _

"_If I hadn't been so desperate for some coffee, I might have just let you keep struggling for a while." JJ gave the brunette a playful wink as she smiled at the slight pout that appeared on Emily's lips. The young blonde loved to tease the older woman, just to receive a pout or slight frown that she found endearing on the usually serious woman's face. JJ caught herself just gazing at the other woman and quickly snapped out of her inner musings. As her eyes drifted away from Emily's face they fell upon a pendant hanging around her neck. "New necklace?"_

_Emily reached up to her neck instinctively upon hearing the question, her hand finding the pendant as her finger ran over the design. "No. I've had this for years but just haven't worn it in a long time." _

_JJ raised her hand towards the pendant, pausing before she reached it and looking up to meet the deep brown eyes of the other woman. "May I?" Emily nodded and let her hand drop away, allowing JJ to take the pendant into her own hand for a closer look. Her eyes traced the design on the surface. "It's beautiful Em. Does it have a meaning?" JJ released the pendant gently at watched it settle back against the hollow at the base of the brunette's neck before meeting her gaze once more._

"_It's the Celtic triquetra. It has many meanings depending on who you talk to." JJ leant her hip back against the counter and waited. She always loved hearing the way Emily would talk about the things she had encountered on her travels around the world and the stories that even some of the simplest items held._

"_Tell me?"_

_Emily leant against the counter, unintentionally mirroring the blonde's position. "If you ever travel to Dublin, you will see it in the manuscripts and writings like the Book of Kells. Some people will tell you that the three loops symbolise the Holy Trinity of Father, Son and Holy Spirit. Others that it represents the phases of the moon since the Celts honoured the Great Mother, a lunar goddess who was three personifications in one. As time has passed, different people have come up with their own meanings that are personal to their own situations but always including the three aspects signified by the three interlocking loops of the knot." _

"_So what does is the meaning to you Em?" _

_Emily looked at the blonde for a moment. "Mind, body and spirit. The three separate aspects of us as a human. The interlinking shows how they are capable of affecting one another." _

"_Is there an additional meaning to there being two of the knots?" _

_Emily's fingers touched the pendant once more as she spoke. "It's a reminder that even though everyone has their own independent mind, body and spirit, they can affect others that have touched their lives." _

_Before JJ could ask Emily further questions the brunette reached over to the coffee pot which had finished brewing and poured them both a cup. "Best get back to those files you delivered this morning." _

_JJ watched as the older woman left the room before picking up her own coffee cup and returning to her office._

"She was right you know." JJ's voice was soft as she spoke to Henry, her mind still partially submerged in her memories. "Those close to you really do affect all aspects of your life, whether they mean to or not." JJ's finger brushed against the clasp at the side of the locket. For a moment she considered if she should open it or not, knowing how private the older woman was. Curiosity got the better of her and she flicked the clasp open. As the locket opened, it revealed a single picture of the blonde herself. JJ stared at the picture for a moment, surprised at what she was looking at. She felt the prickle of tears behind her eyes but refused to let them fall. Henry began to stir against her and pushed himself up slightly. JJ looked into his blue eyes, so reminiscent of her own and smiled at him as he reached for the locket once more. As he closed his hand around it, JJ lost her battle against the tears as he uttered his first word, "Emem."


	38. Chapter 38

Disclaimer: Not mine sadly.

AN: As always, thank you for all the reviews and messages. I would have had this up early but was being a pain. I hope you enjoy this chapter. :o)

Chapter 37

JJ stood staring up at the front of the apartment building, her eyes seeking out the windows she knew would look out over the city. The street around her was relatively quiet with most people already back home after a long day at the office, finding their way home to the comfort of their families or a night in front of the TV. The young blonde looked down at her watch, 7.06pm. JJ had tried to get out of work earlier but a call from a detective convinced that he had a serial killer had delayed her longer than she had hoped. The feeling of how fractured the team had felt without the brunette still lingered in her consciousness.

_JJ walked into the bullpen ready to start a new day. Her first day back since everything that had happened with Foyet. As strange as it sounds, the young agent had been looking forward to returning to the BAU. While the cases that came across her desk were certainly not a positive factor to her day, being back with her team around her once more was something that she had missed too much over the past few weeks. JJ walked into the bull pen and her eyes sought out the other members of her team. Instead of the usual smiling and joking that accompanied their morning routines, there was a distinct quiet air in the room. As she approached the desks of the team, she realised why everyone appeared to be subdued. Where Emily should be sitting was an empty chair. As JJ came alongside the desk she noticed how the surface was completely clear. JJ raised her eyes to meet those of Morgan who sat opposite, the questioning look clear in them._

"_She's gone JJ." Morgan spoke quietly as he stated what the blonde feared. _

_JJ shook her head in denial at the phrase, not wanting to believe it. "She can't have just gone. She didn't even say goodbye." Her voice clearly relaying the despondency she felt washing through her body. _

"_Maybe she didn't know how." Reid spoke from his desk as he watched the emotions flashing across the young blondes face before they faded to leave a shell of the former agent in their wake. _

_JJ shook her head, refusing to believe that this was it. That the way Emily Prentiss left their lives was without a word to anyone. That she had just slipped away without even saying goodbye. JJ opened the drawers of the desk, hoping to find an explanation, needing to find something to quell the ache that she felt expanding through her chest, slowly enveloping her in its pain. As she opened the bottom drawer, her eyes fell upon an envelope and a photo frame. Reaching in, she lifted the items from its confines and instantly recognised the writing as Emily's. Her gaze briefly flicked over the photo within the frame but was drawn back to the envelope with her name on it. As soon as her mind recognised the letter as being the same ones from Foyet's games, she felt the flood of memories racing back. Closing her eyes for a brief moment and taking a deep breath to steady herself, she forced herself to remember that it was all in the past and Foyet was dead. Not willing to allow the memories of the events that led them to this point to take over._

_JJ sank down into the chair at the empty desk, turning the envelope over in her hands for a moment considering whether she should open the letter. Her finger slipped under the seal and was about to tear it open when she paused. She decided in that moment that until she knew the brunette agent was truly gone, she wouldn't read whatever the letter said. JJ slipped the envelope into her pocket before heading out of the bullpen and back to her office without further conversation with the others. The feeling that if she was too late to talk Emily into coming back that the damage caused by their shared experiences may never be repaired lingering in her mind. _

JJ felt the pendant in her pocket and she summed up the courage to make her way up the steps to the door of the building. As she made her way up the steps, she didn't hesitate to push the buzzer for Emily's apartment as soon as she came level with it. She waited patiently for a response. The moment the door buzzed to signal the lock had been released, JJ almost missed her chance to open the door due to her shock at not being asked who was there prior to being granted entry. She pulled the door open and made her way to the elevator to reach the apartment and the woman she had to see.

* * *

Emily sat on the sofa and regarded the boxes stacked against the far wall. When it came down to it, her life fit into a relatively small number of boxes. Most of the items in her apartment were being left so she could rent it out. Only the personal items were packed to come with her as she embarked on the next stage of her life. Emily wondered if all her years of moving around the world as her mother was placed at new embassies during her youth led to her keeping only a minimal amount of belongings. She was roused from her thoughts by the sound of her buzzer. Glancing at her watch, she figured Garcia was early to try to talk her out of going once more. Without confirming it was Garcia on her doorstep, Emily pressed the button to open the door and waited.

* * *

As JJ watched the numbers light as the elevator ascended, she tried to think of what to say to Emily when she got there. She had no idea about how to start the conversation, all she knew was that she couldn't let the other woman leave her life without at least trying to explain everything. JJ ran a hand through her hair as the doors opened to Emily's floor.

* * *

The quiet knock on her door roused the brunette from her contemplation of how to justify her decision to Garcia again. She had already been through her reasons and there was nothing else to say. However, she knew Garcia would never stop fighting to keep her family together. Emily placed her hand on the door handle and opened the door, prepared to just end any conversations about her staying before they began. She was just too tired to keep going over the same ground time and again. As the door swung open, all words died on her lips as instead of being met with the sight of the analyst, JJ stood in the corridor.

The two women stood staring at each other in silence for a moment. Both of them rendered speechless at being so close to one another after so long apart. Finally, JJ found her voice. "Hey Em, can we talk?"

Emily snapped out of her shock to step back and allow the blonde into her apartment. As JJ walked past her, she noticed the way her body tensed as her eyes landed on the boxes. They walked into the sitting room and Emily gestured for the younger woman to take a seat on the couch. Emily perched onto the corner of the table and waited for the blonde to speak. She allowed her gaze to travel over the other woman, taking in every feature she could, knowing it would be her last chance.

"You're leaving." JJ's voice wavered between a statement and a question. Her blue eyes rose from taking in the packed up apartment to meet Emily's gaze. Emily just nodded her affirmation.

"Why?"

Emily stood from her position and turned to face out of the picture window across the city. "You know why JJ." Emily knew that she wasn't being open with the reasons but she couldn't face baring everything to the blonde only to be rejected once more.

JJ was quiet for a moment as she considered the reasons for the brunette's departure. "I have something of yours. I found it yesterday and wanted to return it to you." Emily turned round from the view out of the window to face the blonde once more. She watched as JJ reached into her pocket and pulled out her pendant. Her eyes remained fixed on the gold locket as JJ spoke once more. "I found it in Henry's things in my office." JJ opened the clasp at the side to reveal the picture. "Why?"

Emily could feel the blonde's eyes on her as she continued to look at the locket, unwilling to look up and meet her gaze. Finally she found her voice. "He was so upset and I needed to give him something to hold on to. Something to remind him that you would always fight your way back to him and that you would never leave him."

It hurt to hear of how upset her son had been while she had been held by Foyet. JJ knew that he would have been upset at her absence but hearing it from someone else made it cut that bit deeper. "Is that why you had it?" JJ wanted Emily to look up and meet her gaze so she could try to see what the older woman was feeling but the brunette seemed determined to avoid meeting her eyes.

Emily smiled sadly. There was an uncomfortable silence between them as Emily allowed the reasons for having the locket to run through her mind, yet being unwilling to share them with the other woman. "Why did you come JJ?" Emily's voice was quiet as she asked the question that had been on her mind since she had opened the door and come face to face with the woman who was the reason for her departure.

JJ closed the locket in her hand and dropped her gaze to the floor as she summed up the courage to say everything that she had come here to explain. "Two months ago I made a huge mistake, probably the biggest one of my life. I let my insecurities and fears overrule what my heart was telling me. I did everything that I knew would push you away just for the simple fact that I was so scared of you getting hurt." JJ shook her head as a self depreciating smile appeared on her lips. "Yet in doing so, I hurt you more than if I'd had the courage to just talk to you. You'd think that since communicating with people is such a big part of my job I'd be better at it but when it comes to feelings, to things that really matter...I struggle to find the words."

JJ chanced a glance up at the brunette and could see how Emily had wrapped her arms around herself. She stood from where she had been seated and took a tentative step closer to the older woman. "Not a day has passed since you left that I haven't regretted my actions. That I haven't wanted to just get in my car and turn up on your doorstep to beg your forgiveness. To explain it all to you."

JJ stepped closer still, watching the other woman for any signs of her retreat. "I know I hurt you so much Em but I really can't go a single day without thinking about you. You are still the woman I dream of both at night and in my day dreams. You are still the woman I want to share all the good in my life with. Still the one I want to be able to rely on to hold me and comfort me when things are bad."

The young agent came to a stop a step away from where Emily stood, she could see the way the brunette's breathing had become more rapid. "I came here with the intention of explaining everything that was running through my mind all those weeks ago but I'm scared I'm too late." JJ could hear the waiver in her own voice as she continued to speak. "Please tell me I'm not too late?" As she spoke the words, JJ reached out to make contact with Emily's arm. Needing to have some form of physical contact and hoping that it would serve to break the silence Emily had imposed on herself.

"I can't JJ." Emily's voice was barely above a whisper as she spoke.

JJ felt the words strike deeply into her heart, shattering her hope that she would be granted another chance with the woman before her. Her hand dropped away from the brunette's arm and fell to hang limply at her side as she allowed her eyes to drift closed in an attempt to maintain her composure. She took a step back before turning away from the older woman. As she reached the kitchen counter, she paused. She gave one last look at the locket in her hand before placing it on the kitchen side gently. Turning her head slightly towards where she knew the brunette still stood she spoke quietly. "Even if you are no longer physically here in Washington, we each carry a part of you with us. And you'll always have my heart." JJ dropped her head and walked back to the apartment door, struggling to keep her emotions at bay until she was out in the corridor.

"What do you want from me JJ?" Emily's voice stopped the blonde in her tracks.

"You. I just want you." JJ kept her head dropped and could feel the first tear slip down her cheek at the admission that had been kept inside for so long finally being spoken aloud. "I want to wake up tomorrow and not wonder where you are. I want to look into your eyes and see everything you are feeling. I want you to look into mine and see the same thing." The tears were running freely down her cheeks now but JJ didn't lift a hand to wipe them away.

"Turn around." The voice was so close that JJ could feel the brush of air against her neck as the words were spoken. She was unsure of when the older woman had moved closer but she knew that Emily was standing just behind her. When the blonde didn't move, Emily placed her hand on her arm. "Please."

Emily watched as JJ slowly turned to face her, keeping her gaze lowered. Emily fought her own tears as she took in the sight of the blonde with tear tracks running down her cheeks. She reached out her hand and brushed the tears away with the back of her fingers before allowing her hand to come to a rest gently cupping her cheek. "Look at me, Jayje." Emily waited for the blonde to raise her eyes. She watched as the eye lids fluttered and then slowly, JJ's gaze travelled across her features until their eyes met. As her eyes met JJ's, she could see the blonde without her guard up and what she saw took her breath away.

As JJ's eyes met Emily's deep brown she saw everything she had hoped for. The brunette had dropped all her walls and as blue eyes met brown, the feelings each felt were clearly visible. "Don't go. Stay." JJ kept her gaze locked on Emily's as her hand reached up to rest against the one still touching her cheek. "Stay with me."

Emily felt her own tears fall at the request that had been spoken so gently. Had they not been standing so close, she was sure the sound of her own pounding heart would have drowned out the words. She wanted nothing more than to agree but she had to ask one more question. "Why?"

JJ rested her forehead against the brunette's and spoke the words she had previously never had the courage to speak to her face. "Because I love you."

Emily couldn't help the smile or the tears that formed with those four words. She leant forward the last few centimetres and brought their lips together. It was a kiss that attempted to share all the feelings coursing through their minds and also promised of so much more to come.


	39. Chapter 39

Disclaimer: Still not mine.

AN: First of all, apologies for the delay in posting. I blame work totally. Thank you to all those who have reviewed...You keep this fic in my mind even when I don't have the time to put pen to paper. The good news is that the end is written and I just need to type it up. So that will be done in the next few days. I refuse to see another birthday with this fic still going! Without further ado...the chapter.

**Oh...This is not suitable for work at all and has a solid M rating...You have been warned. **

Chapter 38

Slowly the two agents broke the kiss they were engaged in, moving to rest against one another's foreheads, their breathing slightly laboured. Each woman kept her eyes closed and took a moment just to draw in a couple of breaths, aware of the mingling of their exhaled air. JJ was the first to speak, "So you'll stay then?" Her blue eyes opened as she moved back fractionally, her eyes searching for the answer she desperately wanted to hear. She watched as a small smile graced Emily's lips as the question registered in her mind. Instead of receiving a spoken response, Emily closed the space between their lips once more. JJ felt the hand still resting on her cheek slip to the back of her neck to draw her forward. JJ's hand slid along Emily's arm and grazed lightly down her side until it came to rest against the older woman's hip. The blonde's thumb slipped under the edge of the brunette's shirt and brushed along soft skin. She gently curled her fingers around and gave a gentle pull to bring the older woman against her body. As she felt the warmth radiating along her body where they were pressed together, she parted her lips and brushed her tongue against Emily's lower lip, seeking entrance. She couldn't suppress the small smile that appeared upon feeling the brunette acquiesce to her silent request, her tongue being drawn into a gentle dance with Emily's.

JJ felt Emily's other hand come to rest against her lower back, attempting to press their bodies closer together as their kiss became more passionate, the years of want and desire pouring out in that one simple action. JJ felt Emily begin to slow down her actions, the kiss morphing from having an edge of desperation to it to resembling more of a lovers caress. She felt the brunette pull back, drawing her lower lip between her teeth as she did so to prolong the contact for as long as possible.

Emily watched as JJ opened her blue eyes, the pupils both totally blown leaving only the smallest circle of her iris visible. She saw the confusion begin to show in the blonde's eyes and swallowed before speaking. "I'll stay with you for as long as you want me." She watched as the confusion faded as quickly as it had started to appear and a sparkle she hadn't seen in the blonde's eyes for too long appeared.

JJ reached her hand up to Emily's neck and drew her back in to a kiss. She felt Emily step up against her body as guide them back until JJ felt the cool of the wall against her back. A stark contrast to the heat forming between the contact between their two bodies. She felt as Emily's fingers that had been caressing the base of her neck started to trail along the inside of her shirt collar and down along her collar bone. The touches feather light yet leaving a tingling path in their wake. She felt the brush of fingertips following the line of the open neck of her shirt until they reached the fabric barrier of the first button. JJ felt the brunette pause in her actions at that moment. Not wanting to wait any longer for the contact she had only allowed herself to dream about she slipped both her hands under the back of Emily's shirt to trace up the smooth skin of her back, hoping that the older woman would understand the unspoken answer to her hesitation. JJ felt Emily break their kiss and was about to protest until she felt lips reconnect with her neck. JJ bit her lower lip as she felt Emily suck on her pulse point before running her tongue across the area. JJ felt Emily's breath against the slightly damp skin of her neck as she heard words that she had thought would only fall from the brunette's lips in her dreams. "I love you Jennifer." Before JJ could respond, Emily captured her lips in a searing kiss once more.

Emily slipped her hand down JJ's arm and found her hand, entwining their fingers. She gave a gentle pull to get the blonde to follow her lead. Breaking their kiss only when they reached the foot of the stairs that led up to the bedroom, Emily looked into JJ's eyes searching for any hint of hesitation. When she found none, she turned to make her way up the stairs, keeping their fingers entwined the whole time. Emily felt her breath hitch when she felt JJ's fingertips brush her hair away from one side of her neck and moments later, warm lips nipped the newly exposed skin. As soon as they entered her bedroom, Emily turned towards the blonde once more and captured her lips in a searing kiss as her hands wound themselves through blonde hair. Emily guided them back until she felt the back of her legs hit the edge of the bed. She slipped her hands around to the first button on JJ's shirt and unbuttoned it. As her hands slid lower, parting the material as each button was released, Emily followed the path of the newly exposed skin with her lips, sinking down against the bed as she got lower. Once the final button had been undone, Emily looked up at the face of the blonde, taking in her flushed cheeks as she gently nipped the skin of her stomach before standing and slipping the shirt of JJ's shoulders.

JJ felt the cool air against her skin as she shirt slipped onto the floor behind her. As soon as her hands were free from the confines of her shirt, she reached out to the bottom of Emily's shirt and lifted it above her head. Her fingers brushing against the skin of her torso as she did so. She brought Emily into a kiss once more, using the opportunity to unclasp her bra and slide it down her toned arms. She felt Emily repeat her actions and couldn't withhold the moan that escaped her as their bare breasts pressed against one another. She felt Emily pull back slightly and the fog that had settled in her mind the first moment Emily's lips had come into contact with her own cleared as she realised that her scars were on show. JJ attempted to pull Emily back into a kiss not wanting to allow the other woman to see the imperfections that marred her once perfect skin.

Emily sensed the change in the blonde's body as soon as it happened. She could feel the tension radiating through the muscles under her fingers. Opening her eyes she was met with the closed lids of the blonde. "Jayje?" Her voice held a concern and question that need not be voiced.

JJ kept her eyes closed and bit her lip slightly, attempting to move to cover the worst of her scars with her arm.

Emily noticed the way the blonde shifted against her as the realisation of what was the problem dawned on her. "Jayje, look at me." She brought her hand up to the younger woman's cheek and gently caressed the skin with her thumb. She waited as blue eyes opened and met hers. "You're so beautiful." She felt JJ try to turn away from her gaze but brought her other hand up to keep her from looking away. "You don't need to try to hide anything from me Jayje. We both have scars but that doesn't make you any less beautiful to me." Emily took one of JJ's hands in her own and brought it down to the side of her stomach, placing it over the scar that served as her reminder of what she had endured. "Does that change how you see me?"

"No." JJ's voice was quiet as she spoke the singular word.

Emily smiled gently. "Nothing will change how I see you either." Holding the blonde's gaze for a moment longer, Emily then leant in and drew JJ into a languid kiss, waiting to see the blonde's response. When she felt the tension begin to ebb away from the muscles under her hands, she gently turned them so JJ had her back to the bed. With one hand pressed against the blonde's back, she gently lowered the younger woman down onto the bed, using her free hand as a brace on the mattress. She kissed her way along the blonde's jaw and down her neck. Dipping down lower to trail her lips across her sternum and then kissing and nipping a path across just beneath her left breast. Glancing up at the blonde from her position, she trailed her tongue up her breast inching closer to the already erect nipple. Just before her tongue made contact, Emily's tongue traced a path around the edge of her areola. She watched as JJ's nipple hardened further before moving her lips around it and drawing it into her mouth, allowing her teeth to graze against the nipple as she drew it further into her mouth. She flicked her tongue across the sensitive bud before slowly releasing it from the moist warmth of her mouth. Kissing her way across the blonde's body, she repeated her action on the right breast.

JJ slipped her hands into Emily's hair, holding her against her body and allowing herself to become lost in the feelings the brunette's lips and tongue were drawing out of her.

Emily slipped her hands to the blonde's hips and trailed her fingertips along the waist band of the trousers she was wearing. She could feel the skin jumping under the fingertips as she drew closer to the fastening. With a quick flick of her fingers, the button was undone and she drew the zipper down. Emily slid her fingers under the waistband of the trousers and slipped them down JJ's long legs. Once she had the trousers off, she stepped back into the space between the blonde's legs and reclaimed her lips once more. Emily kneeled over JJ, straddling her lap as she slid them both up the bed, never breaking the kiss.

Feeling the brunette straddling her lap, JJ pushed the older woman up so she was kneeling back before taking the opportunity to taste the skin now in reach. JJ sucked one nipple into her mouth while she rolled the other between her thumb and forefinger eliciting a moan from the other woman. JJ wrapped her arms around the brunette and rolled them so that she was lying on top of the older woman. Their lips met once more as their tongues sought each other. JJ slid her hands down to remove Emily's trousers. Once she had pushed them part way down her thighs, Emily kicked them off the rest of the way. JJ felt the brunette wrap one of her legs around her body to bring her down against her centre. Needing to feel more, JJ slid her hand between their bodies and traced the edge of the brunette's panties. She manoeuvred herself slightly to ease the pressure on her shoulder and slid her hand inside Emily's panties, slipping lower until her fingertips came into contact with the slick wetness of Emily's folds.

Emily broke the kiss at the first touch of JJ's fingers. "God Jayje." She felt the blonde slip her fingers down the length of her slit before coming back up and circling her clit, not applying direct pressure but teasing with their proximity. She felt her body begin to arch into the blonde's touch, craving more. Emily almost whined when she felt JJ's fingers slip out of her panties, only withholding it as she felt her underwear being drawn down her legs. She watched as JJ moved back up her body kissing her deeply once before making her way back down her now fully exposed body. She felt her breathing rate increase as JJ's lips moved ever closer to her core.

JJ could feel the change in Emily's breathing as she kissed lower on the brunette's body. She moved to trail her tongue along the crease of Emily's hip before nipping at the skin on the inside of her thigh lightly. Repeating the action on the other side before glancing back up at the brunette. JJ allowed the tip of her tongue to trail up the inside of Emily's thigh slowly before slipping her tongue into the silken folds and savouring the first taste of the brunette's arousal with a long, slow lick up her length. She heard Emily's moan and felt a hand come to wrap itself in her hair. JJ repeated the action, ensuring she never made contact with the brunette's clit. As the brunette's breathing became more erratic, JJ slipped her tongue over the hardened bud for the first time, eliciting a moan from the older woman. When she repeated her action, instead of just brushing past Emily's clit with her tongue, she drew it into her mouth and held it with her lips before flicking her tongue against it. JJ kept up the pressure with her tongue as she slipped one hand across Emily's stomach to hold her in place, her other hand trailed around her thigh up to slip two fingers inside her. JJ couldn't suppress the moan that escaped her own lips at the simultaneous taste and feel of the brunette on her fingers and tongue. JJ maintained the motion of her tongue as she slid her fingers in and out of the brunette. She could feel Emily's walls begin to clench and with one final thrust, she felt the brunette come undone around her. JJ slowed her motions, drawing out the older woman's orgasm for as long as she could. When she felt Emily sink back into the mattress, JJ moved back up her body to capture her lips once more.

Emily moaned into the kiss as she tasted herself on the blonde's lips and tongue. Pulling back, she tried to catch her breath as she looked into sparkling blue eyes. "God Jayje...You are amazing." She watched as the blonde blushed lightly before leaning up to capture her lips once more. Emily flipped them over so JJ was on her back beneath her. While she kissed the blonde, her hands found JJ's breasts and she rolled her nipples and grazed them with her fingertips, feeling them harden beneath her touch once more.

"God Em, please...I need you." JJ's breathy voice made Emily's own breath hitch. The desire and want so clear in those few words. Emily slipped her hand down the blonde's body before dipping it into wet folds. Emily slowly slid the tip of her finger inside the blonde and watched as she arched up trying to gain more contact. Emily straddled JJ's thigh to keep her from moving too much, aware of the pressure the action placed against her sensitive clit. The brunette slowly started to move her finger, just a fraction deeper each time she slipped inside the blonde. She could feel JJ trying to move and get her deeper, the motion creating a glorious friction against her own core. Emily could see the need increasing in the blonde and increased the speed and depth of her thrusts. She brought the heel of her hand up to press against the blonde's clit each time she pressed deeply into the younger woman. Feeling JJ getting closer to coming undone, Emily slipped her fingers almost completely out of the blonde before driving three fingers back in. "Fuck Em." She felt the blonde's walls clench and try to draw her fingers in deeper. Emily tried to move her fingers but JJ reached down and grabbed her wrist. "Don't move." Was the only panted comment. Emily moved to kiss JJ's neck while her body came down from its orgasm. When she felt the muscles inside JJ's core release her fingers, she slipped her fingers out and moved to kiss the blonde.

JJ could feel her heart still pounding against her chest and her breathing was still racing. She was aware of the feel of Emily's lips against her neck and her fingers gently tracing patterns across her stomach. JJ turned her head slightly to look into deep brown eyes and smiled. She watched as a smile appeared on the brunette's face in response. "I love you Em."

Emily kissed JJ's lips gently before leaning back and nudging the blonde onto her side so she could spoon her. Emily held the blonde, content to just feel her heart beating against her. She felt the blonde's breathing even out and become deeper as she drifted into sleep. As Emily lay against the blonde, she caught sight of the pink line of a scar on JJ's shoulder. She leant forward to place a gentle kiss against it. Her eyes trailed down the blonde's back a fraction further before resting on the start of a much larger scar. Emily gently ran her fingertips across the curved pink line that ran from just under her shoulder blade across her ribs and ended just before reaching her breast. She knew that in time, the scars would fade further but there would always be a mark. Emily placed a kiss against JJ's shoulder once more before closing her eyes and allowing herself to follow the blonde into sleep.


	40. Chapter 40

Disclaimer: Still not mine.

AN: First of all a big thank you to those who reviewed the last chapter. As always, they are greatly appreciated. We only have one chapter left after this which will be up before the end of Wednesday. So if there's anything you think I need to tie up, let me know. Enjoy. :o)

Chapter 39

JJ woke the next morning to the feel of gentle kisses against her shoulder and neck. She smiled gently and slowly stretched her body before speaking. "Now that's so much better than an alarm." She rolled over slightly and opened her eyes to look at the source of those kisses. As soon as she turned round, she met the same unguarded gaze as the night before. She leant up to place a kiss on the lips responsible for her rousing. Pulling back slightly she glanced over at the nightstand to find out the time. All too aware of the fact that she had to get back to her house and change before heading in to work. She could only imagine the ribbing she would get from the other members of the team if she arrived at work in the same clothes as the previous day. She had also promised Henry she would be back to see him before work. JJ refused to break a promise, even if it was unlikely her son even understood the promise she had made. Instead of finding a clock, her gaze fell upon a mug of steaming coffee.

Emily watched as JJ's eyes located the coffee mug before reaching over to pass it to her. She watched as the blonde took a long sip from the cup. Smiling to herself at the look of pure contentment that settled on her features. "Its 6am so you have time to head back to yours before work." Emily's voice was quiet as she spoke.

JJ took another drink from the coffee before facing the brunette and drawing her into another kiss. As she broke away from the kiss, JJ slipped out of the bed and made her way over to the bathroom. As she reached the door, she turned to see the brunette still lying in the bed, her focus clearly elsewhere. "Hey Em?" JJ waited for the brunette to turn her attention to where she stood before continuing. "Did you mean what you said last night?"

"Every word." The conviction was clear in the brunette's voice.

JJ smiled. "Then you'd better get out of bed and think about how you're getting your job back." JJ turned and made her way into the bathroom. Emily smiled as she watched the blonde disappear from view before reaching for the coffee mug on the side. "Oh Em? I love you but drink my coffee and all bets are off." JJ winked at the brunette as she peeked her head around the doorway once more.

Emily couldn't help the laugh that emerged as a result of JJ's comment. She lay back against the pillows and considered how to tackle the next challenge she faced. She just hoped that the reluctance Hotch had demonstrated in accepting her resignation would also correlate to his willingness to help her return. There were a lot of potential problems ahead of them but Emily hoped that they could face them together.

* * *

JJ opened the door to her house and listened for a moment to try to identify where anyone was at that time. Hearing a sound from the kitchen, JJ made her way through the hall and paused as she reached the doorway. "Hey Mary." JJ smiled as the older woman stopped in her actions and turned towards the voice. "How was he?"

"Morning JJ. He was a little star last night. Went down without any fuss and slept right through. He was still asleep when I checked on him a few minutes ago."

JJ noticed the older woman's gaze shift slightly over her shoulder. "I think you two have already met."

Mary nodded and smiled at the brunette standing just behind JJ. "Good to see you again Agent Prentiss."

"Call me Emily. And it's good to see you too Mary." The brunette smiled back at the nanny. Before anymore could be said, the sound of crying was heard through the baby monitor on the side. "Let me get him while you both finish getting ready." Emily brushed her hand across JJ's lower back as she made her way past the blonde and up the stairs to where the nursery was located.

JJ watched Emily disappear from sight before turning back to Mary. "Thank you for looking after Henry last night at such short notice."

Mary waved her hand at the younger woman. "You explained the nature of your job to me when I accepted the post JJ. I knew there would be times when you called on short notice and needed me to stay with Henry when you were called away."

JJ knew that she had been right in listening to what she had been told about the woman standing before her at that moment. Being able to find someone who was willing to take on a job as a nanny when the hours were so unpredictable formed a large part of JJ's concerns when she was looking into making arrangements prior to ending her relationship with Will. "I'd best get ready for work." JJ saw Mary nod as she poured two mugs of coffee from the freshly brewed jug. Accepting the coffee with thanks, JJ made her way up the stairs.

* * *

"Hey there little fella." Emily walked over to the crib and lifted the crying infant into her arms. She felt him wrap his little arms around her neck as he pulled himself in as close as he could. Emily quietly hummed a soothing tune one of her nannies from her days in Europe had used to settle her when she was upset. She rubbed gentle circles around his back, listening as the sobs subsided to be replaced with quiet sniffles.

"Ok, little guy, let's get you changed and ready for the day shall we." Emily gently lowered Henry onto the changing table and set about getting him all changed and dressed. She smiled at the way his eyes followed her every move.

* * *

JJ finished getting dressed and finished her coffee before making her way across the hallway to the nursery door. She watched as Emily tried to get Henry to keep his feet still so she could put his socks on. JJ had to bite her lip gently to stop from laughing out loud when while Emily's attention was focused on the second sock, Henry reached down and pulled the first one off looking back at her with a big grin when she noticed the now missing article of clothing. JJ leant against the door frame and just enjoyed watching two of the most important people in her life interacting with one another, her mind drifting to how perfect it seemed to watch the two of them together. Contemplations of a future where the scene before her was a daily occurrence flowed through her thoughts.

JJ allowed herself to smile when Emily triumphantly managed to get the last item of clothing on Henry. "Baby high five little man." Emily raised his hand gently and gave him a little high five. "Shall we go and see if your mom is ready?" Henry reached his arms up towards the brunette and smiled at her before saying something that made the brunette freeze. "Emem."

JJ watched as the brunette came to a halt staring down at the baby lying on the changing table before her. "Did you just say something Henry?"

"Emem." Henry repeated and reached up towards the woman before him once more. "Emem." Emily lifted her fingers to her lips and tried to hush Henry from his repetition of his first word.

"Come on buddy. Don't go and start talking when your mom isn't here. She'd want to hear your first word and I'm sure it should be mama or something too. If you stop saying Emem for a minute then when your mom comes in we'll pretend like this never happened and then we can work on getting that mama from you. It's only a tiny bit different, two of the letters are the same and everything. What do you say?"

JJ stepped over to the brunette and slipped an arm around her waist gently, placing a kiss on the side of Emily's neck as she drew close before resting her chin on the older woman's shoulder. "You were his first word." JJ spoke quietly as she looked down at the smiling baby.

Emily turned in the blonde's arms as she began to speak. "I didn't know he was going to speak Jayje or I'd..." JJ cut off whatever words were going to be said by placing a kiss upon the lips that had come so tantalisingly close to her own.

As JJ broke the kiss she started to speak before the brunette could continue in her previous apology. "You were his first word a couple of days ago." JJ watched as Emily turned to look at the little boy smiling up at her, a small smile gracing her features as she let the words sink in. "Come on, we'd better make a move or we'll be late." JJ placed a quick kiss on Emily's cheek before stepping forward to pick up Henry and carry him downstairs.

* * *

Emily stood at the doors to the bullpen, subconsciously playing with her fingers as she tried to work out the best approach to the conversation that was needed with Hotch. With one last deep breath, she made her way through the glass doors and over to Hotch's office. She was glad the other members of the team all came in slightly later than Hotch as the thought of fielding their questions before knowing the outcome of her situation filled her with a sense of apprehension. She lifted her hand and knocked on the door, taking the time it took for the response to come to attempt to settle the nerves that had made themselves known.

"Come in."

Emily opened the door and noticed the surprise on his face as he looked up to see who had entered. "Hi Hotch." She made her way over to the chair when Hotch gestured for her to take a seat.

"I hadn't expected to see you back." Hotch's voice held a neutral tone, not letting on to how he felt about her appearance in his office.

"In all honesty, I hadn't planned to be back but things have changed." Emily watched as Hotch sat back in his chair, obviously thinking about the most likely changes to have brought about the presence of the brunette agent. "I want to know if there is any way that I could rescind my resignation." Emily could feel herself losing hope as the room filled with silence. Just as she was about to apologise for taking up his time and leave, Hotch spoke.

"In light of recent events, I think I can convince Strauss that it was an error in judgement that led to your resignation and that it would be a hard task to find a suitable replacement for you."

Emily felt the relief flood through her system the moment the words were spoken. She was unable to suppress the smile that appeared as a result. "Thank you Hotch." She stood to shake his hand in gratitude, noticing that even Hotch had a slight smile attempting to fight its way through his normal serious scowl.

"I'll make a call and see if we can't just put a stop on the paperwork before it goes through all the channels." Emily nodded her acknowledgement of the next stage. "Come back in an hour and hopefully this will all be rectified." Emily stood to leave but was stopped at the door by Hotch's voice. "Emily, about you and JJ..."

Turning to face the man seated behind the desk, surprise clearly evident on her face, Emily scrambled to come up with something to say. "You don't need to worry. We have spoken and we're moving forwards." The brunette agent didn't like withholding the full truth about the situation from the man who was far more than just a boss but knowing the FBI policies on intra-team relationships, she wasn't willing to put him in a position where he would either split them up or risk breaching protocol to keep their secret.

"Just make sure it stays professional on the job."

Emily didn't miss the look that Hotch was giving her, a look that clearly said that he knew more about the situation than he was saying. Before she had a chance to attempt to explain, Hotch spoke once more. "Strauss will be in now, so I'd better make that call." He picked up the phone and dialled. While he was waiting for an answer he glanced up at the woman still standing frozen in place. He covered the mouthpiece with his hand before speaking. "You should know by now that this is more than a team. We look out for each other and keep each other's secrets when needed." Moving his hand, Hotch turned his attention back to the phone pressed to his ear. "Ma'am, I have a matter I need to discuss." Emily turned and made her way out of the office, knowing that in an hour she would have her answer about whether she would be able to return to the family she had found in the BAU team or not.


	41. Chapter 41

Disclaimer: Not mine sadly.

AN: Well, here it is...The final part and I still had a whole three hours to spare before my deadline. Thank you to all of those who have taken the time to comment at some stage over the course of this story. Special thanks to the two people who at various points in this fic have acted as sounding boards...you know who you are. Finally, thank you to all those who have read this fic even if you didn't all comment. Anyway, enough rambling...I hope you enjoy this final chapter. :o)

Chapter 40

JJ sat on the small stool looking at her own reflection in the mirror. Her gaze briefly fell to the edge of the scar on her shoulder peeking out from the edge of her clothing, barely visible after nearly two years. It still served as a reminder of what she had survived and made her grateful for every day that she had. It would always hold a painful edge to her memories but it also served as a reminder that she made it through and got the chance to make more memories. Memories of Henry, memories of her family...and memories of Emily.

"Hey kitten. You doing ok?" Garcia's voice drifted into her consciousness from the doorway.

"Hey Pen. I was just thinking." JJ turned to meet her friend's eyes in the mirror. She watched as the analyst came further into the room and approached where she was seated. Seeing the questioning look on her friend's face JJ decided it would be best to elaborate. "Just thinking about the last time I spoke about all this." JJ gestured towards the scar as her mind drifted back to what she had always hoped would be her final psych evaluation.

* * *

_JJ found herself sat in the small waiting room, glancing at the white walls and calming images once more. It had been a month since she was last seated in this same place. A month since she had been given the go ahead to return to her work. A month since she had found out that Emily had resigned from the BAU. A month since she had asked her to stay. _

"_Agent Jareau, come on in." JJ looked over to see the psychiatrist that had met with her previously. She rose from her seat and followed him into the office and took the same seat as on her last visit. She waited for him to take his seat and open her file. "How are you feeling?" _

"_About this session or in general?" _

_JJ watched as Dr Clarke smiled gently. "Both." _

"_A bit apprehensive about the session but I feel pretty good in general." _

"_Why apprehensive about the session?" He regarded her with a searching gaze. _

"_When you spend all day working in a job where you have to look into every tiny aspect of people's lives, you learn to value your own privacy that bit more. The whole nature of these sessions is to have someone investigate you innermost thoughts and feelings." JJ explained as best she could. Not wanting to elaborate too deeply about her greatest worries about having to reveal too much about herself in the next hour. _

"_I can understand that. So you said that in general you are feeling pretty good. You've been back at work a month now. How have you found your return to work?" _

"_It's been easier than I thought it would be." JJ replied honestly. _

"_How so?" She watched as he sat back in his chair, bringing his hand up to rest on his chin as he listened. _

"_I had expected to come back to find that the files coming in had been placed on my desk if they hadn't required urgent attention but not in any order. So I thought I'd be coming back to a lot of work in that respect. Instead I found that my team had kept everything as I had it."_

"_So your team have been supportive with your return to duty?" _

"_Of course. As I told you before, we are more than a team, we are a family." JJ knew that there was more truth in that statement now than there had been before. The actions of Foyet had been designed to break them apart but after the event, it had resulted in the opposite. They were closer than they had been before as a direct result of all they had experienced. _

"_Have you noticed any changes in the team dynamic since your return or perhaps in people's actions or feelings towards you?" _

"_Yes." JJ paused for a moment thinking about how the team had changed. The sight of the empty desk in the bullpen flashed into her mind as she thought of Emily's resignation. The hurt that was clearly evident in each member of the team when they spoke of the brunette agent's departure from their ranks. The way they all viewed each other had changed. "That bond we all had has become stronger now." _

_"Following the review of the case, did you feel any change in attitude or opinion towards members of your team?" _

_JJ thought for a moment about all of the emotions that had been stirred up as a result of the case review. It was only then that she had discovered the full extent of what had been happening during her captivity. "If anything I respected them even more than I did previously." Seeing the raised eyebrow of the psychiatrist, she continued. "They had very hard decisions to make that were a matter of life and death for the people that meant the most to them. Yet they still made those decisions and kept doing their job." _

_"You mentioned the decisions people had to make. How did it make you feel to know that Agent Prentiss had chosen another name to save?" _

_JJ met the psychiatrists eyes before she spoke, wanting him to understand as best he could without having been in the situation himself. "It was all part of Foyet's game. They all believed I was dead at that time so picking my name would have been completely illogical. Jack was the most powerful name left. She kept the trust that they had all asked me to have in the team. She trusted that the team would keep each other safe. While it is really hard to lose a parent, partner or sibling; losing a child is something else. It was just luck that my letters were left in my office so Henry was never a part of Foyet's game."_

_"You lost one of your friends in the case. Do you feel any guilt over her death?"_

_"No. Not guilt. I regret that I wasn't able to do something to save her but the logical side of me knows that there was nothing I could have done." The loss of her friend was still one of the scars JJ knew she would bear for a long time. _

_The psychiatrist made some notes on her file at that point before looking back towards JJ and continuing his questioning. _"_Do you just have contact with your team in work?" _

"_No. We all made the decision to spend more time together outside of work too. Maybe not all at the same time but we certainly see each other more than we used to." JJ allowed herself to think about the unspoken agreement they had all made to spend more time supporting each other in their everyday lives. _

"_How is your relationship with your parents?"_

"_Good. While my schedule is a bit unpredictable in terms of having a fixed visiting schedule, they have told me that they are going to come and visit once a month to see Henry and myself." JJ knew that the reality of nearly losing their second daughter had shaken her parents more than they would ever admit to her. They all made more of an effort to keep in contact. JJ knew that once her dad retired there was a good chance of them moving closer to her. Her mom had mentioned how it would be so much easier to help out and see Henry more if they were closer. _

"_When we last met you mentioned that your relationship had ended. Have you started dating again?" _

_It was the question JJ hadn't wanted to come up. She understood the reasoning behind the question as the inability to form deeper connections with people would be one of the factors that signified she hadn't been able to move on from the events of a few months ago. "I have. I am in a relationship with someone who understands everything that I went through and supports me completely." _

_Dr Clarke nodded at the information. "Have you had any contact with Henry's father since you parted ways?" _

"_Only once. He attended Henry's custody hearing." That day had been hard on everyone involved. Despite the assurances from her family and lawyer, JJ still couldn't help but feel worried that something would call her suitability to be Henry's sole guardian into question. Garcia had offered to fill Will's records with various pieces of information that would ensure he would never come close to Henry again but JJ had turned her down. The team had all offered to supply information about Will's conduct during her abduction to the court as proof of his unsuitability as a parent. As much as JJ wanted to ensure she kept her son, she didn't want to prevent Will from having access. She didn't want Henry to grow up without knowing his father. Reporting his actions in relation to the case would only lead to questions about why it hadn't been pursued as a criminal matter since he had broken several laws at that time. JJ can still remember sitting in the court room and the nerves flooding her system as the judge spoke. They had both offered their own arguments over who was more suitable as a parent and when it came down to it, the decision lay with the woman sitting before them. When the judge had awarded full custody to JJ, she had cried in relief. "After the judge awarded me full custody, I tried to talk to Will and explain that I still wanted Henry to have contact with him." _

"_How did he respond?" _

"_He told me that he wished he had never made a deal with Foyet. He told me that as far as he was concerned, I did die in the basement and that I could explain to Henry that I was the one to take his father away from him." J internally winced at the harsh words the former detective had spoken to her with such animosity in the hall of the court. _

"_How did that make you feel?" _

_JJ didn't respond immediately, taking a moment to compose herself mentally as the recollection of that day still cut her deeply. "Hurt is an understatement. Yet at that same time I knew I was not alone, my whole team was there as were my parents. As I watched Will walk out of his son's life, I looked at those people around me and I knew that he would be supported by each and every one of them as he grew up. He may not know his father but he would have his family and each one brings something else for him to learn from. Each one will be there to support him and for him to seek advice from should the need arise. He might have lost a father but he has four uncles and an aunt who would do anything for him." JJ stopped herself from finishing the rest of her justification. If the truth were told, JJ always hoped that as Henry grew up, he wouldn't feel like he only had one parent. JJ hoped that Emily would be there and would want to take on the roll of Henry's parent. She knew that they had only been together for a short time but whenever she let her mind wander when the three of them were together, it always resulted in images of the three of them living as a family. _

"_I see you have just been signed back to field duty. Do you feel any anxiety about that?" _

"_No. I know that my job carries a risk but I have my team there to watch my back." JJ had never doubted her team in that capacity. They had already gone above and beyond to try to find and protect her. She had each of them beside her every time she stepped out in the field. Whether it was Rossi and Hotch who would always look out for the rest of the team like the protective parent figures they had come to be to the younger members of the team or Morgan and his big brother ways. She knew that Reid may not have the strength of the others physically but he would never leave her side. Then there was Emily. Emily who had been granted her place back on the team after Hotch had spoken to Strauss. Emily who had been so worried about how the others would react to her returning after leaving them, only to find that the relief they felt at having their team back together far outweighed any negativity. Emily who would literally give her own life to keep her safe. They were a strong team but an even stronger family. _

_JJ watched as he made some notes on her file. "Well, as long as nothing changes then I think this will be the last time I see you. Obviously if you experience any problems as a result of your experiences then make an appointment to come back to discuss matters." JJ nodded her acceptance of the terms. "Very good. I wish you all the best in the future Agent Jareau and I hope we have no reason to cross paths in the future." _

"_Thank you." JJ shook the psychiatrists hand as she stood from her chair. She felt like a great weight had been lifted from her shoulders as she made her way out of the office. That visit signified the end of that chapter of her life. She could now look towards the future. _

* * *

"Mommy?" The sound of Henry's voice brought the blonde back from her memories. She turned in her seat to face him.

"Yes sweetie?" JJ watched as he made his way across the room towards her. He was dressed in a black suit which JJ assumed Garcia had helped him put on. It was at times like this that she was thankful for her friend and Henry's godmother being around so much. All of the milestones she had seen her son reach were made even more special by the knowledge that she came so close to missing them all. Yet thanks to the work of her team and their refusal to give up on her, she got to see it all. His first word. His first steps. His first real temper tantrum. The first time he kicked a soccer ball. All memories that were treasured and made her thankful for the people who had come into her life at the FBI.

Henry reached up to her as soon as he was close enough and waited to be lifted onto JJ's lap before he spoke. "I miss Emem." Henry pulled himself in close to his mom with his admission.

JJ allowed her eyes to drift closed for a moment as she held her son, gently running her hand over his back in a soothing circle. "I know baby. Mommy misses her too."

Before JJ could say anymore, Henry pulled back and climbed down from her lap. "I did good?" He turned his questioning eyes up to meet his mom's.

JJ looked him over once more before responding. "You did good baby. I'm proud of you and Em would be too." Seeing the big grin that spread across the little boys face caused a small smile to appear on JJ's own lips. She watched as he made his way back out of the room.

"He's growing up so fast." Garcia's voice drew JJ's attention.

"He is. Do you remember the day of his first steps?" JJ looked over to her friend as she asked the question.

Garcia smiled at the memory. "How could I forget?" Garcia allowed her mind to drift back to Henry's first steps.

* * *

_It had been two months since Emily and JJ had started their relationship. Garcia had come over for a movie marathon following their return from a case that had left them all feeling quite drained and in need of nothing more than a day of fluffy films and friends. JJ had stepped out into the garden to talk to her parents as had become their Saturday tradition in recent months. Meanwhile Emily and Garcia were left in charge of organising the snacks and occupying Henry. _

_Emily came back into the sitting room with a bowl of popcorn in her hand to find Garcia rummaging down the side of the couch while muttering to herself. "Erm Garcia, what are you doing?" A slight frown creased the brunette's features as she took in the scene, glancing down to where Henry was sitting and giving the small child a smile. _

"_I can't find the remote anywhere. Last time I had this problem, our blue eyed girl had gone and lost it down the back of the couch cushions. So I wanted to check there first. Knowing where she had it last would help a bit but until she returns we are on our own in the quest for the control." Garcia glanced over her shoulder at the brunette agent. _

"_But I thought you were omniscient." Emily tried to suppress the smirk that threatened to appear with her words. _

_Garcia turned from where she was searching to face the brunette. "Oh don't even question my all knowing abilities." _

_Emily glanced at the floor just under the couch where she remembered the remote falling the night before when JJ had decided that the show they were watching was far less interesting than other activities. "So where's the remote then Pen?" Emily asked as she turned her attention back to the quirky blonde in front of her. _

"_It's here...somewhere." Seeing the way the brunette was struggling to keep a straight face, the realisation that information was being withheld from her dawned on the analyst. "Emily Prentiss, if you know where that remote is and you don't tell me right now then bad things will happen missy." _

_Emily laughed at the serious look her friend was giving her before making her way over to the couch. "Admit you aren't omniscient then." Emily crouched down onto the floor and started to feel around under the couch for the remote. _

"_Emily." When she received no response, Garcia tried again a sense of urgency creeping into her tone. "Emily!" Still no response. "PRENTISS!" _

"_Ok, ok...I won't push you to admit you don't always have the answers. No need to yell at me." Emily turned to face her friend with the remote in her hand. "See..." All further words caught in her throat at the sight of Henry standing staring at them both, with one hand holding the edge of the chair. "Oh my god. Has he moved?" _

"_Not yet but he looks like he's going to right?" Garcia kept her gaze fixed on the little boy who was slightly swaying on his feet. _

"_I have to get JJ and the camera and JJ. You just stay there and don't let him take that step." Emily spoke in a rush as she made her way out of the room. _

_Garcia looked at Henry as she called over her shoulder. "How do I do that?" _

"_Just stall him." Emily's voice carried back into the room. _

"_Just stall him. How do you stall a one year old?" Garcia looked at Henry and saw him smile up at her. "Just stay there Henry ok? Just wait until your mom gets here." She watched as Henry bounced up and down slightly where he was standing before stopping as he swayed a little too much and nearly fell. Garcia instinctively reached her hands out towards him to be ready to catch him. She turned over her shoulder slightly to call out to the others. "Hurry up!" As she turned her attention back to the little boy, she saw him look at her outstretched hands and drop his hand from the chair cushion he had been holding on to. "Oh crap...Now! Get in here now!" She quickly dropped her arms from their outstretched position and tried talking to the little boy once more. "Henry if you stay still for just a moment more I will buy you anything you want. Just don't move yet."_

_Garcia watched wide eyed as Henry lifted his right leg, her gaze fixed on the movement. She watched as he moved his leg forward and then placed it down taking his first step. Garcia could feel the tears at witnessing such a special event in her godson's life. She watched as he unsteadily took a second step before overbalancing and falling back onto the floor. She snapped out of her trance and slid over to where he was sitting, gently picking him up and moving him back to where he had been standing before Emily left the room. "Ok, new deal. You haven't taken a single step yet and if you go along with this then if you ever get a bad grade at school, I'll hack the system and change it before your mom finds out." _

_The sound of a throat clearing behind her caught the quirky blonde's attention. "They're behind me aren't they?" Garcia asked the little boy who just smiled and responded with his two favourite words. _

"_Mama. Emem." _

_Garcia turned to face the two women standing behind her. Emily had the video camera in one hand, the red light still signalling it was still filming, her other hand was wrapped around JJ's waist. The blonde raised an eyebrow at her friend._

"_So you heard that then?" Garcia asked. Seeing the blonde nod she continued. "I suppose you were there the whole time then?" Seeing the nod once more, Garcia glanced over her shoulder at her godson. "You couldn't have told me they were there?" Her only response had been Henry's laughter. _

_The first thing they watched that afternoon had been Henry's first steps. Garcia was quietly offering her thanks to whatever power it was that allowed the two women to arrive just in time to witness it for themselves. Though she would have preferred it if they hadn't both heard her secret deal with Henry, that had earned her a short lecture from both women. Garcia cast a glance over at the two women sitting on the couch with Henry between them, not failing to notice how their hands were entwined on the back of the couch as they watched the images on the screen. _

* * *

JJ heard the car pull up outside the house and the muffled voices of her parents from downstairs. She took a moment to gather her thoughts once more and return to the present, knowing that she would need to focus on the present to get through the remainder of the day. A quiet knock on the door signalled that her time for preparation was up. "Jenny, are you ready?"

She took a deep breath and reached out to pick up the folded piece of paper that rested on the dressing table. She briefly opened it and cast a quick glance over the words, hoping that she would be able to speak them when the time came. "I'm ready." She stood from the stool and made her way over to where her dad stood, Garcia following closely behind her. The trio made their way down the stairs to where JJ met her mom standing with Henry. Not wanting to linger any longer than needed, she made her way out into the crisp January air. As soon as she set foot outside, her eyes fell onto the simple black car that awaited her. The reality of what the day held began to sink in as she looked at the car. It was only when she felt her dad slip his arm into hers that she began to walk down the steps and slipped into the car. Once she was inside, she was grateful for the heater having been on for a while as it started to warm the chill that seemed to have crept over her as she set foot outside her home. Garcia, Henry and her mom slid into the car beside her before they pulled away to make they pulled away and onto the street.

JJ was vaguely aware of the others in the car talking quietly but her attention was focused elsewhere. She watched as the scenery passed by the window of the car, subconsciously fiddling with the paper she held in her hand. The car came to a stop at a set of traffic lights and JJ's attention fell upon a small park. On the snowy January morning, it was deserted but as she looked out over the scene, her memory took over once more.

* * *

_They sat in the park, looking across to the trees that bordered it and the way their leaves were changing into a stunning array of colours signalling the fall. Emily took JJ's hand in her own, allowing her thumb to trace over the smooth skin of the blonde's knuckles for a moment as she composed her thoughts. She lifted her gaze to meet the deep blue eyes of her companion. "I can't believe I almost lost you without getting to tell you how I felt." Emily's voice was quiet as she spoke, her eyes shining with unshed tears as the memories of the previous year flashed in her mind. She felt JJ squeeze her hand gently in a silent offer of encouragement._

"_But we got through it Em. This past year has made me happier than I imagined I could be."_

_Emily smiled lightly at JJ's words. "It was a year ago that we thought you were gone. It was a year ago that I watched that DVD you left and realised that you felt the same way about me but neither of us had shared those feelings with one another. As I heard those words, I knew that it would be a date that would be imprinted on my memory forever." Emily stopped to take a breath and steady herself before she spoke her next words. The memories of the day she thought she had lost the person who meant the most to her replayed once more. "There's something I have wanted to say to you for a while and tonight just seemed like the right time." Emily slid off the bench and knelt down in front of the blonde, taking the hand she still held in both of her own. "I want to change the meaning of this date for us both. Jennifer Jareau, will you marry me?" _

_JJ stared into the deep brown eyes that really were true windows to the other woman's feelings. Ever since she had dropped the walls that kept her emotions so well hidden all those months ago when JJ had taken the risk and laid her own feelings bare in the sitting room of Emily's condo, they had never been re-erected where the blonde was concerned. Looking into those eyes now, she can see the same love that she feels for the woman before her shining back at her. "Yes." The smile that broke out on the brunette's lips with that one word made JJ mirror the smile. "Yes Em." JJ gave a gentle pull on the hands that still held her own, drawing the older woman closer. She leant down towards her simultaneously and closed the gap between them to seal her answer with a kiss that expressed just how much she felt at that moment. _

_Emily drew back from the kiss first before reaching into her pocket. She watched JJ's eyes follow her movements. As Emily opened the small black box she held in her hand, she looked away from the blonde's face for a moment to remove the ring from its velvet bed. She gently took JJ's left hand in her own and slipped the ring onto her finger, taking a moment to take in the sight and capture it in her memory. When she looked back up to meet the gaze of the woman she loved, she was met with tears sliding down porcelain cheeks. Concern instantly marred her features as Emily reached up to gently brush away the tears. "Jayje, why are you crying?" _

_JJ looked up from the ring her gaze had been fixed upon since Emily had first brought it from her pocket, meeting the seeking look in the brunette's eyes. "I'm just happy Em. Just when I think I can't love you any more than I do, you do something that makes me fall for you all over again." _

* * *

"Jenny?" Hearing her dad's voice brought JJ back to the present. She turned her attention to where he sat beside her. "It's time sweetheart." JJ nodded and stepped out of the car. They made their way up the steps of the church. As they reached the door, JJ pulled her dad's arm as she stopped. He turned to face her, the concerns clearly evident in his eyes. "You ok Jenny?"

JJ turned to meet his blue eyes. "What if I forget what I was going to say when I'm standing up there?"

He smiled kindly at his daughter before speaking. "Just speak from your heart Jenny. Once you two had finally admitted how you felt for one another, you never hid it again. No matter what words you say in there today, Emily will know what really matters."

JJ leant in and gave her dad a hug, taking the opportunity to draw some courage from his embrace. "Thanks dad." As she pulled back, she placed a gentle kiss on his cheek. "I'm ready." She turned back to face the doors of the church and slipped her arm being into her dads. She felt him give her arm a gentle squeeze of encouragement as they started the short walk into the church.

With each step, JJ could feel her heart pounding against her ribcage. The sound of the music was drowned out by the blood rushing through her own body. She was vaguely aware of the faces she passed on her way up the aisle of the church, recognising most of them. She noticed a few people with tears trailing down their cheeks. It was when she lifted her gaze to the front of the church that everything else faded away. The sights and sounds from all around her vanished with her focus totally drawn to where the priest stood. Her feet kept moving of their own accord, bringing her closer with every passing second. JJ felt herself come to a stop as her dad gave her arm one more squeeze of support before she felt him slip away from beside her.

"To all present I say: We are gathered here, not to witness..." The priest began speaking but JJ couldn't bring herself to focus on his words when greeted with the sight before her. Everything seemed to be happening around her while she felt frozen in time, her eyes fixed on only one place. The touch of a warm hand against hers brought her focus back to the words being spoken.

"Love should have no other desire but to fulfil itself. But if your love and needs must have desires, let these be your desires: To melt and be like a running brook that sings its melody to the night. To know the pain of too much tenderness. To be wounded by your own understanding of love; And to bleed willingly and joyfully. To wake at dawn with a winged heart and give thanks for another day of loving; To rest at the noon hour and meditate love's ecstasy; To return home at eventide with gratitude; Then to sleep with a vision of the beloved in your heart and a song of love on your lips." There was a brief pause as the priest placed the paper in his hand down.

JJ knew that it was her turn to speak. She glanced over at the priest who gave her an encouraging nod. She could feel the piece of paper in her hand and closed her eyes for the briefest of moments before opening them and speaking from her heart. "In the job that we do, every day holds a degree of risk. A chance that you won't make it home. Emily..." JJ felt the lump in her throat begin to form but she swallowed it down, determined to share her feelings. "You saved me, saved me more ways than I can express here today. You have been my best friend, my partner and my confidant. Most importantly, you are the love of my life." JJ looked into shining deep brown eyes before her as she continued to speak. "You make me happier than I could ever imagine. You have made me feel more loved than I ever believed possible. You made me a better person as the love we share is reflected in the way I live my life and it touches the lives of others. I am truly blessed to be a part of your life. Today, as I promise to spend the rest of my life loving you I know that it will be the easiest promise to keep. Just for the simple fact that I find myself falling for you all over again each time I see you."

JJ watched as a single tear trailed down Emily's cheek. She watched as the brunette licked her lips before hearing her voice for the first time since they had parted ways the night before on Garcia's insistence that they both deserved a proper send off from the single life. "As I stand here before you, I can't help but feel like the luckiest woman in the world. You posses a beauty which runs through your entire being. You have an intelligence that is greater than just the ability to learn information. Perhaps above all else, you have a heart which is your guide in everything you do. It is because of everything that you are that I began to fall in love with you the moment I met you. It is because of everything that you do that I fall deeper in love with you each day. It is because of everything that you make me that I will love you from now until eternity."

JJ could feel the warm trail of tears making their way down her cheeks at Emily's words.

"Do you have the rings?" JJ turned to see Henry standing behind them with a box held out to them. JJ leant down to take one of the rings from the box before turning to Emily once more.

JJ gently lifted Emily's hand and slipped the ring onto her finger as she spoke. "I give you this ring as a symbol of my love. The circle is never ending, just like my love for you."

JJ watched as Emily repeated the action and words she had just spoken. She could see the smile already forming on the brunette's lips and could feel her own smile emerging in response.

"By the power vested in me by the District of Columbia, I now pronounce you wife and wife. You may kiss the bride."

JJ felt herself moving to close the gap between herself and Emily and then their lips met in their first kiss as a married couple. As they broke apart, taking Henry's hands in their own and turned to face the assembled group of friends and family all smiling and clapping, she knew that whatever challenges they may face, they would face them together...as a family.

**_Love anything and your heart will be wrung and possibly broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact you must give it to no one, not even an animal. Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements. Lock it up safe in the casket of your selfishness. But in that casket - safe, dark, motionless, airless - it will change. It will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable. To love is to be vulnerable. -C.S. Lewis_**

**AN: Loved it? Hated it? I'd love to hear your views. I won't be writing for a while as I have 4 courses to write for work but I'm sure I'll return at some point. For all those who made it to the end...Thank you once more for reading. _:o)_**


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